Epiphanies

[Gvac]

Have you ever had a moment of clarity where you suddenly realize an important truth or the solution to a problem that's been plaguing you? It seems to happen when you're not thinking about the situation or not concentrating on anything in particular. It just sort of appears in your head.

I had such an epiphany the other night. I was just sitting quietly with my guitar in my hands but not playing and I was letting my mind wander. All of a sudden I had this great realization, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it's something I've read and/or heard dozens of times before, but it never sunk in. For some reason, at that moment, it did. In a big way.

I realized that the only way to be truly happy is to cease all expectations.

Granted, it's easier said than done, but it really is the only way. If you start assuming there will be some sort of payoff or compensation for everything you do you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. If you delight in the actions you take simply for what they are with no expectation of reward of any sort you'll be content and happy.

[TheMojoPin]

I usually have them when I'm trying to clean up physical clutter around me...like, "hey, I don't REALLY need these movies/books/CD's/etc.." It always feels very liberating and relaxing...like my soul just came.

[epo]

That's what running does for me. I can be in a long run with just my mp3 player not thinking about anything......and a clear thought will come right to me.

The way to fix X is by......Here is how you deal with......etc.

The key for me is to let it go and let my subconscious deal with it.

[midwestjeff]

I still haven’t recovered nor completely assessed
The thirty-nine hours with which I’ve become obsessed
And the waves that were rolling left me a little confused
While the weeds we were pulling said something about you

No expectations, I’ve no need for them at all
I continue to flow as you continue to fall
But do as you please and leave me to play
With the thirty-nine hours and what they meant to say

We’re even at one and that’s where I’ll be
For thousands of days and the eight hours I need
Through the thirty-nine hours I’ll search and I’ll seek
To see if I’m left with anything to keep

[Ritalin]

Yeah man, I hear you.

And did you ever really look at your hands? I mean, just sit there and look at them? Fucking crazy man that we have these....these THINGS on the end of our arms that we can use to pick things up. Just put your hand over something, lower it and close those fingers around it and it's yours. Like that thing at Dave and Busters that you can use to grab a stuffed animal or a basketball only better, because I've never seen anyone ever actually grab something out of that machine before.

It's a total ripoff.

[Mike Teacher]

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m110/MizzleT/MikesPics/260px-Reification2.jpg

See the triangle in the top figure and the sphere with the spikes coming out in the bottom firgure?

Yes we do, yet they don't exist at all. They arent there. Our minds fill in the patterns, our brains complete the picture. Gestalt psychology is a field a bit related to what you may be experiencing, the 'A Ha!' effect.

But this is different from Points of Seeing. POSs [PsOS?] are integrations we make about ourselves or the world around us. The Epiphany. Here we are driving, walking, doing the laundry, and there it is, it flies right by us, sometimes it even lands right in our laps. The answer. The solution. The fix. What is missing in our lives. How to reslove to a problem.

Now, how to cultivate these, and react to these? Thats a whole diff thread. Whole diff Universe.

[sailor]

he wrote lusistrata, right?

[Mike Teacher]

he wrote lusistrata, right?

Maybe the Greek philsopher; Testicles

[TheMojoPin]

Maybe the Greek philsopher; Testicles

I believe we should shift focus to the 18th Century German philosopher, Hans vas Deferens.

[DiabloSammich]

True story....

My "life quote" in my high school yearbook was "Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed."

It's like we were connected in another life or something, maaaaaaan.

[A.J.]

I realized that the only way to be truly happy is to cease all expectations.

True story....

My "life quote" in my high school yearbook was "Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed."

It's like we were connected in another life or something, maaaaaaan.

I realized this when I hit 30: lower the bar and assume the worst -- and when good things happen, they're that much sweeter.

[Gvac]

I realized this when I hit 30: lower the bar and assume the worst -- and when good things happen, they're that much sweeter.

A.J., A.J., A.J...I said no expectations.

That includes negative ones.

[TeeBone]

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m110/MizzleT/MikesPics/260px-Reification2.jpg

See the triangle in the top figure and the sphere with the spikes coming out in the bottom firgure?



What is it you teach?

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I'm with A.J.-- unexpected things just add to life! :smile:

Gvac, you posted about this before, but I've come to a point where I don't give a crap about what anyone thinks of me. Really. I'll just say what's on my mind and I either get a laugh or an incredulous look. I'm all on my own; I have NO FAMILY to judge me.

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

[Hottub]

Fuzzy, when you are here, you are family.:wub:
And believe me, I judge every perfectly spelled and grammatically correct post you make.:nono:

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Awwww, I [heart] you Jon.

[BronxJohnny]

I've realized that being different isn't a bad thing and that putting people on pedestals are dangerous. You shouldn't strive too be the "next something or someone" you should focus on being you and enjoy that trip. Also being humble is a true strength; i've realized all this while watching old RVD tapes and listening to some Johnny Cash. G-VAC rocks.

[Mullenax]

I've been working on a series of paintings that are deal with the theme of past vs future; like which is "better": what you know or what could be. What I realized is that the debate between nostalgia and hope for the future is really one of Resistance vs. Assimilation to change. And I think that Resistance is pointless, unless you derive satisfaction from rebellion.

[Contra]

I get those "A HA" moments while I'm relaxing and listening to music. Or when I'm laying down trying to sleep and my mind starts to organize things. Or on the can, like I'm concentrating so hard that other things become clear.

[A.J.]

A.J., A.J., A.J...I said no expectations.

Someone's been listening to Beggar's Banquet.

[milliehatchett]

There's another important piece to the Happiness puzzle. I once read it's like a mathematical equation. Happiness = R/E
R = Reality
E = Expectations

If you're unhappy - either change your reality (better job, better life, etc) or change your expectations.

Sometimes we're unhappy because of a particular situation we're in - the more prolonged the situation, the worse off we are. I don't think it's quite realistic to have NO expectations. I EXPECT to get a paycheck...if I don't...I'm unhappy. I can either, continue working there and have no expectation of getting paid (impossible for me) OR I can get a new job (change my reality).

But, yes, it's a great "aha" moment to have. The key to the universe.

[Dingbat_Charlie]

the only way to be truly happy is to cease all expectations.

this is a fundamental tenet of buddhist philosophy.

[Yerdaddy]

Have you ever had a moment of clarity where you suddenly realize an important truth or the solution to a problem that's been plaguing you? It seems to happen when you're not thinking about the situation or not concentrating on anything in particular. It just sort of appears in your head.

I had such an epiphany the other night. I was just sitting quietly with my guitar in my hands but not playing and I was letting my mind wander. All of a sudden I had this great realization, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it's something I've read and/or heard dozens of times before, but it never sunk in. For some reason, at that moment, it did. In a big way.

I realized that the only way to be truly happy is to cease all expectations.

Granted, it's easier said than done, but it really is the only way. If you start assuming there will be some sort of payoff or compensation for everything you do you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. If you delight in the actions you take simply for what they are with no expectation of reward of any sort you'll be content and happy.


There are three sayings that came up a lot in recovery that seem applicable:

"Happiness isn't having what you want; it's wanting what you have."

"Disappointments are unfulfilled expectations."

And of course, the AA version of the Serenity Prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

Put in practice in recovery meetings everywhere, these little slogans save lives - my own included. They do so because they're simple eternal truths that manage to cut through mountains of complex bullshit that our societies and we, ourselves, pile up in front of ourselves.

At times in my 11 years of sobriety I've been helped by remembering these truisms, and been crushed by forgetting them.

But of course the wisdom of the aphorisms has to be applied to the slogans themselves; i't's easy to lose sight of them in the complex lives we lead, and then, when we've lost control of our expectations and, in quiet moments, the slogans pop into our heads and we're disappointed with ourselves that we'd lost sight of these truths and let our lives become unmanagable for so long. But, if we apply them to themselves we realize that no single slogan or truth is enough of a guiding principle to live every minute by - the trick is to apply the principles when we can, as often as we can. When we can do that we realize we can't make our lives perfect with slogans - but we can make them better.

Sorry this doesn't make any sense. I'm so fucking drunk right now.

[Gvac]

Someone's been listening to Beggar's Banquet.

I knew someone would get the reference. You were the odds on favorite!



Sorry this doesn't make any sense. I'm so fucking drunk right now.

That nearly made me spit out my coffee.

Prick!

[Kris10]

I realized this when I hit 30: lower the bar and assume the worst -- and when good things happen, they're that much sweeter.

I already do this so when I hit 30 should I do the opposite???

[A.J.]

I already do this so when I hit 30 should I do the opposite???

It could work.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/66/Sein_ep522.jpg

[Gvac]

Fuckin' A.J. is far and away the most underrated poster in the history of internet messageboards.

I just had to say that.

[A.J.]

Thank you My Lord and My God.

[Furtherman]

No epiphanies. Several eurekas.

[Mullenax]

I'm too old to be on Girls Gone Wild. Hit me like a ton of bricks.

[Bulldogcakes]

But of course the wisdom of the aphorisms has to be applied to the slogans themselves; i't's easy to lose sight of them in the complex lives we lead, and then, when we've lost control of our expectations and, in quiet moments, the slogans pop into our heads and we're disappointed with ourselves that we'd lost sight of these truths and let our lives become unmanagable for so long. But, if we apply them to themselves we realize that no single slogan or truth is enough of a guiding principle to live every minute by - the trick is to apply the principles when we can, as often as we can. When we can do that we realize we can't make our lives perfect with slogans - but we can make them better.

Sorry this doesn't make any sense. I'm so fucking drunk right now.

You make so much more sense when you're drunk. That says something bad about one of us. Maybe both of us.

I've had many of these moments. Some of these ideas pan out, most don't. But I generally find these things to be overly generalized and too simplistic. Sounds great at first, but the more you think about it the less sense it makes. For peace of mind, having no expectations sounds great. That is, until you loan somebody $500 or your best guitar and the guy moves to California. Now explain the 'no expectations' theory to me again. Explain the 'no expectations' theory to your wife or girlfriend at Christmas time. Principles may guide us, but blind obedience to them is a recipe for disaster.

I think you just have to take life as its thrown at you, no single axiom will cure all or guide you. I've come to grips with who I am and at 38 am no longer interested in trying to change myself or anyone else. And I have little interest in anyone who wants to change me. I think its a waste of time either way, the hard wiring is there for alot of reasons and isn't going anywhere.