Would I Be a Good Father?

[Freitag]

I'm afraid of small babies, hate diapers, and I think I'd pass out in the deliver room.

Discuss.

[Freitag]

Why did I just hear the sound of a palm hitting a forehead coming from Mikey's general direction?

[Kris10]

I'm afraid of small babies, hate diapers, and I think I'd pass out in the deliver room.

Discuss.

Not sure about a father but you may make a great sperm donor! There may be a bank in your area!

[mendyweiss]

Always Keep A Sense Of Humor, And You'll Be Fine !!!

[underdog]

Always Keep A Sense Of Humor, And You'll Be Fine !!!

Uh oh.

[Freitag]

Not sure about a father but you may make a great sperm donor! There may be a bank in your area!

Trust me, the less of my DNA that is out in the world, the better.

[Tall_James]

You are rabidly passionate about protecting those things that you love.

You'll do alright.

[Jughead]

When its your little baby you won't be afraid of it..And those diapers take on a whole new appreciation of poop....You wont believe it till it happens, but you will actually chase a snotty nose to wipe it...Oh and I did pass out in the delivery room..But I woke up to the greatest thing in the world my son.:smile:..Oh my second one was awesome also..:tongue:..Just in case hes on here...:bye:

[Freitag]

You are rabidly passionate about protecting those things that you love.

You'll do alright.

That's my take on this as well. I guess not everything from Boston is completely evil and corrupting.

[Kris10]

Yeah, I wasn't crazy about poop either till I had my daughter now I'm wiping her ass like its cool.

[Tall_James]

That's my take on this as well. I guess not everything from Boston is completely evil and corrupting.

Then how do you explain Fallon?

[Freitag]

Then how do you explain Fallon?

He's evil. And corrupting.

Doesn't mean he wouldn't be my friend, he's just evil. And corrupting.

He's responsible for my wife calling me "Bradshaw" now.

[topless_mike]

everything changes when its your baby..
your baby, your baby's snot, your baby's poop, etc.


i helped with my son's birth and watched every second of it.

just teach the kid right from wrong, and you'll be fine.

you do seem passionate about things, which i think is a good trait.

[jonyrotn]

Would I make a good Father?

You'll probably have trouble with the Baptisims and touching some of the younger alter boys, but if you stay focused and determined I'm sure you'll get past the ickieness of it all...

Just remember, it's..
A) One hand over the mouth
B) One hand down the front of the pants...Always the front first.. If need be you can shimmy the hand to the rear later, but start in the front..That's were the goodies are..
C) Always maintain eye contact to establish trust..

If you can master the above plus, hand out bread and Hail Marys, you're gonna make a terrific Father..Peace Be With You..

[epo]

The question is not whether we would think you'd be a good father, but if you & your wife think you'd be a good father.

F everybody else.

[Kris10]

Would I make a good Father?

You'll probably have trouble with the Baptisims and touching some of the younger alter boys, but if you stay focused and determined I'm sure you'll get past the ickieness of it all...

Just remember, it's..
A) One hand over the mouth
B) One hand down the front of the pants...Always the front first.. If need be you can shimmy the hand to the rear later, but start in the front..That's were the goodies are..
C) Always maintain eye contact to establish trust..

If you can master the above plus, hand out bread and Hail Marys, you're gonna make a terrific Father..Peace Be With You..


LOL Your so fucked up!!!! :wub:

[drjoek]

Trust me, the less of my DNA that is out in the world, the better.

Mod Quote ????

[Thebazile78]

I'm afraid of small babies, hate diapers, and I think I'd pass out in the deliver room.

Discuss.

You were fine once your nephew came along as far as the babies thing ... you're still terrified that they're going to break, but the nephew was (is) so easy-going that it was much easier to hold him than your nieces.

Poop is nothing. Vomit, on the other hand, is quite a different story.

Also, you are not allowed to pass out in the delivery room. Who will keep my sister away if you don't stay awake???????

[Bulldogcakes]

Is there a reason for this thread?

A bun in the oven?

[PhishHead]

Does Liz really want the spawn of Satan in her womb for 9 months? I say no.

[Heather 8]

To put things in perspective, this man:

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=2566&size=1

is going to be a father in about 3 months.

As much as he loves kids, babies used to terrify him; he never even held one until this past Xmas, when some friends made him "practice" with their daughter. I'm pretty sure I'll be doing diaper duty, but he's very willing to help with everything else.

And I told him he has to stay north of the sheet during delivery, not so he doesn't pass out, but so he can spare me the graphic play-by-play.

As far as being a good father, that goes well beyond babyhood. You have the power to mold/warp that young mind. Use it wisely.

[Thebazile78]

Is there a reason for this thread?

A bun in the oven?

No. Not yet.

I want a house first.

He's simply terrified that he'll grow up to be the father in Cat's in the Cradle...

Does Liz really want the spawn of Satan in her stomach for 9 months? I say no.

I don't think it'd survive in my stomach. I can digest anything. :lol:

[Tenbatsuzen]

No. Not yet.

I want a house first.

He's simply terrified that he'll grow up to be the father in Cat's in the Cradle...




I've got my father's intelligence, sarcasm, stubbornness, and arrogance. So yeah.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Also, you are not allowed to pass out in the delivery room. Who will keep my sister away if you don't stay awake???????

Restraining order?

[Stankfoot]

And if the kid is up at night you can put him to sleep with stories about the radio business! :laugh:

[Bulldogcakes]

No. Not yet.

I want a house first.

He's simply terrified that he'll grow up to be the father in Cat's in the Cradle...



I guess the sub prime mortgage crisis and the recession are a welcome development for Mr Cold Feet.

[landarch]

I'm afraid of small babies, hate diapers, and I think I'd pass out in the deliver room.

Discuss.

I say bullshit. I was exactly like that to the letter until the second my wife to ld me she was pregnant. I still hate other people's diapers, won't hold other babies, and was a champ (so my wife says) in the delivery room. I wouldn't do it for anyone else though.

[Marc with a c]

just do what liz says

[King Hippos Bandaid]

No. Not yet.

I want a house first.

He's simply terrified that he'll grow up to be the father in Cat's in the Cradle...



I don't think it'd survive in my stomach. I can digest anything. :lol:



Im in the same ballpark

wife wants house before kid, we start looking for a house in the summer



I have the feeling that I am too immature to have a kid


I am very awkward with kids 0-2 yrs

with 2 and plus I am really good with kids

[smiler grogan]

All of this i'm not good with babies stuff goes out the window when its your kid. When it's late and the baby is hungry you feed it, dirty you change it, sick you comfort. You kinda stop thinking about these tasks and end up just doing them cause you have to.

poo, puke, snot, drool they mean nothing to me now

[Thebazile78]

Restraining order?

No, absolutely not.

She's my SISTER not some psycho hosebeast stalking me.

Also, we do not joke about restraining orders in my family. You have just hit a sore spot.

I guess the sub prime mortgage crisis and the recession are a welcome development for Mr Cold Feet.

Actually it's quite the opposite.

The recession is kind of a boon to house-hunters at the moment ... we'll be able to get more house for less money and still stay in NJ, which is close to our families and most of our friends. It'll also prevent us from being taxed in two states, since both of us work in NJ.

The sub-prime mortgage crisis isn't impacting us much, either, except with the number of foreclosed properties on the market, but that could actually be a positive if we get a good deal.

[A.J.]

He's simply terrified that he'll grow up to be the father in Cat's in the Cradle...

Better that than the Dad in A Boy Named Sue.

[Thebazile78]

Better that than the Dad in A Boy Named Sue.

Weighing the odds ... kids can't make time for their dads because they neglected them OR kicking the shit out of your dad because he's "the sonofab*tch that named [him] Sue..."

Toss up.

At least with names, I have veto power.

[Jujubees2]

Don't worry about the delivery room. Went through it twice and had no problems with passing out. But after seeing something the size of a baby's head come out, you'll feel a little "small".

As for the diapers, try what I did. Convince your wife that you need an au pair. I screwed up when I asked for a blond Swedish au pair so try not to be picky.

[Thebazile78]

Don't worry about the delivery room. Went through it twice and had no problems with passing out. But after seeing something the size of a baby's head come out, you'll feel a little "small".

As for the diapers, try what I did. Convince your wife that you need an au pair. I screwed up when I asked for a blond Swedish au pair so try not to be picky.

Only the bare minimum of necessary people will be in that delivery room. Which means that it'll be Matty, me and the hospital staff.

Everyone else is banned with a capital "B."

For diapering, I'm getting him a diaper survival kit: neoprene gloves, safety goggles and a nose clip. (His s-i-l thinks it'll scar the kids permanently; I say it'll be OK until the kids can focus their eyes. By then, he should be used to the mess.)

[Freitag]

As for the diapers, try what I did. Convince your wife that you need an au pair. I screwed up when I asked for a blond Swedish au pair so try not to be picky.

I understand there's a Polish au pair in the Boston area looking for work.






James, got a number?

[Snoogans]

Only the bare minimum of necessary people will be in that delivery room. Which means that it'll be Matty, me and the hospital staff.



Is it really Necessary for the guy to be in there. I understand you want to cause it's your kid, but what does the guy really do besides stand there and say breath and get yelled at?

[Kris10]

Is it really Necessary for the guy to be in there. I understand you want to cause it's your kid, but what does the guy really do besides stand there and say breath and get yelled at?

You want him there to see how much pain your in... & so he can see how much fun sex really is 9 mths later. But seriously I would want my husband in there with me just because it is very emotional seeing the life you created for the first time together.

[EliSnow]

Is it really Necessary for the guy to be in there. I understand you want to cause it's your kid, but what does the guy really do besides stand there and say breath and get yelled at?

While I can't speak for my wife, I think my presence at both of our children's births provided much needed emotional support to my wife.

With the first birth, I held my wfe's right leg and her hand and had to reassure her that she could do it, while she's crying and thinking she couldn't.

And with the second, the c section, she had no idea what was happening and couldn't hold the child until after she was sewn up (10 - 20 minutes after giving birth). During that time, we talked and I reassured her, and after the birth, held Riley right near her head so she could see and talk to her.

[Jujubees2]

Is it really Necessary for the guy to be in there. I understand you want to cause it's your kid, but what does the guy really do besides stand there and say breath and get yelled at?

Not necessary but it's something that I wouldn't have missed. Seeing a new life come ito the world firsthand is a thing of beauty.

[Snoogans]

Not necessary but it's something that I wouldn't have missed. Seeing a new life come ito the world firsthand is a thing of beauty.

Trust me, it wasnt anything beautiful when I had to watch it in Health Class

[Jujubees2]

Trust me, it wasnt anything beautiful when I had to watch it in Health Class

Yeah, but it's like the diaper thing. When it's your kid (or at least I'm assuming they're my kids), it's different.

[Kris10]

Trust me, it wasnt anything beautiful when I had to watch it in Health Class

Its not the same, believe me! When I saw "the video" I was ready to vomit and never thought I was going to have kids. You will not have a front row seat to the action, you'll just remain focused on your woman's screaming face! Or, in my case, I didn't feel a thing because I was so drugged up we could casually talk about sports....I enjoyed my c-section.

[Freitag]

Is it really Necessary for the guy to be in there. I understand you want to cause it's your kid, but what does the guy really do besides stand there and say breath and get yelled at?

Because it's emotional support. It goes a long way.

[Snoogans]

Do they got one of them little TVs in there like they do in the other rooms and beds in the hospital? Last time i was in the hospital they gave me morphine and then put me in a bed with a TV attached with full cable. It fuckin kicked ass. The devils game was never so good as that day. Maybe the NHL should start marketing the NHL by giving out morphine. Its pretty crazy shit

[Kris10]

Do they got one of them little TVs in there like they do in the other rooms and beds in the hospital? Last time i was in the hospital they gave me morphine and then put me in a bed with a TV attached with full cable. It fuckin kicked ass. The devils game was never so good as that day. Maybe the NHL should start marketing the NHL by giving out morphine. Its pretty crazy shit

Yes, and afterwards a fantastic new parents meal!

[Midkiff]

Would I Be a Good Father?

No humor attempts here. I am literally sad for the future of the human race. Of course you won't make a good father, but I'm sure that won't stop you.

[Snoogans]

No humor attempts here. I am literally sad for the future of the human race. Of course you won't make a good father, but I'm sure that won't stop you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[mikeyboy]

No humor attempts here. I am literally sad for the future of the human race. Of course you won't make a good father, but I'm sure that won't stop you.

Why do you come back? I saw that you posted that we're "all a bunch of cunts" in the Iris shoutbox.

[EliSnow]

Do they got one of them little TVs in there like they do in the other rooms and beds in the hospital? Last time i was in the hospital they gave me morphine and then put me in a bed with a TV attached with full cable. It fuckin kicked ass. The devils game was never so good as that day. Maybe the NHL should start marketing the NHL by giving out morphine. Its pretty crazy shit

Definitely in the recovery room, but most likely not in the delivery room.

Unless you have a nice delivery room like we did at NYU for our first child. It was almost like a hotel room that went from a pre-delivery room to a delivery room in minutes.

But you can't have the TV on when delivery starts.

[mikeyboy]

Definitely in the recovery room, but most likely not in the delivery room.

Unless you have a nice delivery room like we did at NYU for our first child. It was almost like a hotel room that went from a pre-delivery room to a delivery room in minutes.

But you can't have the TV on when delivery starts.

We had our first one at NYU as well and had that as well. Those are pretty nice rooms.

[Snoogans]

Definitely in the recovery room, but most likely not in the delivery room.

Unless you have a nice delivery room like we did at NYU for our first child. It was almost like a hotel room that went from a pre-delivery room to a delivery room in minutes.

But you can't have the TV on when delivery starts.

then she better hope there is no big games that day

[Tall_James]

We had our first one at NYU as well and had that as well. Those are pretty nice rooms.

Yeah, because they're Dorm rooms. Did the RA help with the delivery?

[EliSnow]

then she better hope there is no big games that day

You're going to make some woman a lucky gal.

[Freitag]

Definitely in the recovery room, but

But you can't have the TV on when delivery starts.

then she better hope there is no big games that day

That's why God invented ESPN MVP and Slingbox to your cell phone.

Of course, I just realized that nine months from our anniversary is the Super Bowl, but then again, I'm a Jets fan, so it works out.

[mikeyboy]

Yeah, because they're Dorm rooms. Did the RA help with the delivery?

That would explain the keg.

[Snoogans]

That's why God invented ESPN MVP and Slingbox to your cell phone.

Of course, I just realized that nine months from our anniversary is the Super Bowl, but then again, I'm a Jets fan, so it works out.

you cant have cellphones on in hospital rooms, especially using them. TV woulda been an easier means but if thats blocked its gonna be the old transistor radio like Lou Brown


I LOVE THIS SHIT AND I MAY MOVE TO ENGLAND

[Jujubees2]

Definitely in the recovery room, but most likely not in the delivery room.

Unless you have a nice delivery room like we did at NYU for our first child. It was almost like a hotel room that went from a pre-delivery room to a delivery room in minutes.

But you can't have the TV on when delivery starts.

then she better hope there is no big games that day

The hospital where my kids were born has a delivery suite. It's a nice room with a nice TV. Both my kids were born during Yankee-Red Sox games!

[Freitag]

You're going to some woman a lucky gal.

Glad to see my company isn't the only one with verb-lacking lawyers.

[EliSnow]

you cant have cellphones on in hospital rooms, especially using them.





Not universally true. I think I was using my cell phone at NYU Hospital, and I definitely could use my cell in the rooms (tho' not delivery) at Hartford Hospital.

[Freitag]

That would explain the keg.

THAT'S NOT A FUNNEL!

[EliSnow]

Glad to see my company isn't the only one with verb-lacking lawyers.

I was just very tempted to edit this thread to remove any evidence of a mistake.

Lucky I don't let power go to my head.


Now to hand out some infractions.

[Kris10]

Not universally true. I think I was using my cell phone at NYU Hospital, and I definitely could use my cell in the rooms (tho' not delivery) at Hartford Hospital.

I was very sick when I was pregnant and was admitted in the hospital for 2 weeks straight, you best believe I used my cell phone.

[Snoogans]

Not universally true. I think I was using my cell phone at NYU Hospital, and I definitely could use my cell in the rooms (tho' not delivery) at Hartford Hospital.

Yea you could also buy crack off the street in Hartford.

[Freitag]

Not universally true. I think I was using my cell phone at NYU Hospital, and I definitely could use my cell in the rooms (tho' not delivery) at Hartford Hospital.

Thanks, I'm glad you said it because I didn't want to look like the constantly disagreeing jerk. I think the no-cell phone policies are for rooms where pure oxygen is being pumped in and/or lots of equipment is being used where the cell could interfere.

I think it also has something to do with HIPAA, I remember seeing something about it on Consumerist a while back.

[Snoogans]

Thanks, I'm glad you said it because I didn't want to look like the constantly disagreeing jerk. I think the no-cell phone policies are for rooms where pure oxygen is being pumped in and/or lots of equipment is being used where the cell could interfere.

I think it also has something to do with HIPAA, I remember seeing something about it on Consumerist a while back.
all i know is they make me turn it off in the emergency room. Thats usually the only place i go in the hospital, and the beds in Valley Hospital emergency room have their own TVs. They fuckin better since its like 1200 just to show up there but, it still kicks ass

[EliSnow]

Yea you could also buy crack off the street in Hartford.

:lol::lol::lol:

[Kris10]

hmm apparently I type with invisible ink

[Jujubees2]

hmm apparently I type with invisible ink

I'm sorry, did you say something Rouski?

[Fallon]

I can see it now...

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/9991/18937473dn0.jpg
http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/4939/94192439be8.jpg

[Freitag]

I can see it now...

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/9991/18937473dn0.jpg
http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/4939/94192439be8.jpg

I'll get you for this. I swear to God I will.

[Midkiff]

Why do you come back? I saw that you posted that we're "all a bunch of cunts" in the Iris shoutbox.

Well, about 99% of the human race is cunts, but that doesn't mean I hate them. I like you all except maybe one of you.

[Snoogans]

Well, about 99% of the human race is cunts, but that doesn't mean I hate them. I like you all except maybe one of you.

OOOOOOO is it me????

[Midkiff]

OOOOOOO is it me????

No, sorry, I like you.

[Tall_James]

I can see it now...

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/9991/18937473dn0.jpg
http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/4939/94192439be8.jpg

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[mikeyboy]

No, sorry, I like you.

Seriously, stop being a douche and get out of this thread.

[SatCam]

Sheepy babysitting the kids: No good

The kids babysitting Sheepy: Good

[Snoogans]

No, sorry, I like you.

damn thats not what Im used to. I dont know how to respond to that

[Midkiff]

Seriously, stop being a douche and get out of this thread.

http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/icons/icon5.gif

[Tenbatsuzen]

My patience may have answered my own question.

[Tenbatsuzen]

So I learned some news tonight that has officially kicked my baby fever into...

Liz: "Overdrive?"

Me: "No, this is a green flag restart with three laps left in the Daytona 500."

[Friday]

So I learned some news tonight that has officially kicked my baby fever into...

Liz: "Overdrive?"

Me: "No, this is a green flag restart with three laps left in the Daytona 500."

i don't even understand you car racing watchers ..... :huh:

[Tenbatsuzen]

It just seems everyone around me is having babies. It's really starting to get to me. I'm not getting any younger.

I'd like to have a catch with my son and not be in a wheelchair

[RAAMONE]

I'm afraid of small babies, hate diapers, and I think I'd pass out in the deliver room.

Discuss.

me too...i think i realized i would be a good father after i got a puppy...i know its not the same but he was only like a pound and i had to change his pee pads and stuff like that...guess its the first time i really cared for a baby anything

[Fallon]

Shake and bake!

[Tenbatsuzen]

Shake and bake!

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1159349/photo_14_hires.jpg

[Friday]

just don't put your future baby in one of those god awful racing jackets!! eek!

[Fallon]

just don't put your future baby in one of those god awful racing jackets!! eek!

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/k5zFiYHgftw&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/k5zFiYHgftw&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Friday]

oh my..... :wacko:

[RAAMONE]

anyone can be a great father...

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//showphoto.php/photo/4320

[watson]

anyone can be a great father...

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//showphoto.php/photo/4320

i actually el oh el'd

[ahhdurr]

me too...i think i realized i would be a good father after i got a puppy...i know its not the same but he was only like a pound and i had to change his pee pads and stuff like that...guess its the first time i really cared for a baby anything

We've had a six week old puppy and upgraded to a human and it's very similar. The only difference is you can get away with leaving the puppy (which we didn't - we had my deadbeat brother come over every day) but other than that there's huge responsibility with each.

I have to say though, the puppy became self sufficient a lot quicker - it's been three months and I open the back door for the dogs and the kid still just lies there blinking at me :blink:.

Having a baby though, in my experience, has been extremely stressful but 10 times more joyful. And the stress is fading more and more as I find my routine. Jump in, live life.

[A.J.]

It just seems everyone around me is having babies. It's really starting to get to me. I'm not getting any younger.

I'd like to have a catch with my son and not be in a wheelchair

Use a scooter instead.

http://www.hotstovenewyork.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/joba-harlan.jpg

[Thebazile78]

Use a scooter instead.

http://www.hotstovenewyork.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/joba-harlan.jpg

I just saw this and I'm probably going to giggle about it all day.

Thanks, A.J.

You're an evil genius.

[Freitag]

I just saw this and I'm probably going to giggle about it all day.

Thanks, A.J.

You're an evil genius.

It really doesn't help that I look like Joba, does it?

And for what it's worth, I was making Harlan scooter jokes since Joba first hit the scene.

[Heather 8]

It just seems everyone around me is having babies. It's really starting to get to me. I'm not getting any younger.

I'd like to have a catch with my son and not be in a wheelchair

Conform... conform... conform...

One of us! One of us!

[Freitag]

Conform... conform... conform...

One of us! One of us!

Get my wife, not me.


BTW, is the middle name of your prodigy related to what I think it's related to?

[Heather 8]

Get my wife, not me.


BTW, is the middle name of your prodigy related to what I think it's related to?

Yes. That and I always really liked the name.

[Thebazile78]

It really doesn't help that I look like Joba, does it?

And for what it's worth, I was making Harlan scooter jokes since Joba first hit the scene.

Yeah, but AJ's was funny.

Conform... conform... conform...

One of us! One of us!

So, if everybody jumps off the Brooklyn Bridge, I'm supposed to go too, huh?

Get my wife, not me.


BTW, is the middle name of your prodigy related to what I think it's related to?

I think you meant "progeny (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/progeny)" not "prodigy (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/prodigy)."

[A.J.]

I just saw this and I'm probably going to giggle about it all day.

Thanks, A.J.

You're an evil genius.

It really doesn't help that I look like Joba, does it?

And for what it's worth, I was making Harlan scooter jokes since Joba first hit the scene.

Yeah, but AJ's was funny.

Thanks! I figured Matty would like the reference as well.

[moochcassidy]

you might need a pair of balls first