True Friends [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

Mafialife Chris

04-08-2008, 08:36 PM

I am going to say a true friend accepts you for who you are unconditionally, and will be there for you in a time of need forever.

I think you can have more then 5. Unfortunately i dont think many do have more then 5 of those.

I do have quite a few of the friends ron was talking about with the T.O. boys.

Those kids i hung out with in Marine park, or Kings highway would do anything for me, and vice versa, and we hardly see or talk to one another now unless it's to say "hey im getting married" or "im on the lam, can i stay at ya house" lol.

I call those people "Pals", like in the movie young guns!

My buddays i consider those who i know from here and aquaintences i know from all walks of life from having an activity in common or sense of humor etc...

You may not really ever get to know a budday, but you respect them and do not judge them. You may admire some more then others and some may become your friends or even Pals, eventually. Some you may never wish to speak to or hear or see from again. All depending on your relations and growth you build from the activity you hold in common.

Family is blood. You will die without them, and will die to save thier life.

Friends, Family, Pals, and Buddays are who my circle consists of. And i appreciate them all acordingly

Peace!

PapaBear

04-08-2008, 08:39 PM

I don't agree with the "just 5" part, though it's not likely you'd have more. I can't define what a true friend is, but I think Ron would say a true friend is someone who will come over with these, without asking any questions.

http://www.lowimpact.org/images_for_factsheets/lime1.JPGhttp://www.lesliehawes.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/shovel.jpg

Kris10

04-08-2008, 08:44 PM

I have 2 extremely close friends who would do anything for me in a heartbeat, no questions ask. And I would do the same for them.

MobCounty

04-08-2008, 08:48 PM

I think 5 would be a lot. I maybe have 2.
I would say one of the first criteria would be that you maintain regular contact with the person.

Justice4all

04-08-2008, 09:03 PM

I am going to say a true friend accepts you for who you are unconditionally, and will be there for you in a time of need forever.

I think you can have more then 5. Unfortunately i dont think many do have more then 5 of those.

My buddays i consider those who i know from here and aquaintences i know from all walks of life from having an activity in common or sense of humor etc...

You may not really ever get to know a budday, but you respect them and do not judge them. You may admire some more then others and some may become your friends or even Pals, eventually. Some you may never wish to speak to or hear or see from again. All depending on your relations and growth you build from the activity you hold in common.

Family is blood. You will die without them, and will die to save thier life.

Friends, Family, Pals, and Buddays are who my circle consists of. And i appreciate them all acordingly

Peace!

Well said. I would like to take that one step further on several points.

I also think a true friend is one who calls you if they do not hear from you after a while to make sure you are doing ok.

I have 3 true friends in my life. I guess I would be lucky to say I have even one.

I had a hard time for a LONG time distinguishing between a friend and an aquaintence. One is far more trustworthy and caring then the other.

Family IS blood but I have seem some family's that instead of dying FOR them you want THEM to die. Just because they are family does not mean that are absolved from treating you or anyone you care about like crap. Family SHOULD act even better then a true friend but that is not always the case. Sometimes it is better to cut the FAMILY loose and keep the true friend. That is not always the case but it does happen.

But here is another question...I was friends, true friends, with someone from 5th grade up until we were over 30. He was the best man at my wedding. Out of the blue, he stops calling me. (Initiated calls or just calling me back). Does not tell me when he is back visiting his folks (who lived 10 mins from me) or anything. It was as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. And there was no falling out. No disagreement. Nothing.
Even his mother(who I still talk to from time to time) was puzzled. She wished she had an answer. She even called me her other son. Which was nice to hear.
I should also point out that this person also got married last November. The only way I found out was the wedding announcement in the local town paper where my folks live. My mother was the one who told me.

He was my best man and I never even got the invite to his wedding.
Nice.

Was this person a true friend? we had been friends for 20 years. Then he does this. Should his actions now nullify what he USED to be?

jonyrotn

04-08-2008, 09:08 PM

I am legend.
Light of the darkness..

topless_mike

04-09-2008, 05:35 AM

i dont think you can put a number on "friends" or "acquaintences". i think you just have to clearly define them.
i have a handful of peeps that would STEP UP if i needed them, and they know i would (or have in the past) do the same for them.

A.J.

04-09-2008, 05:45 AM

I have mostly acquaintences. Most of my friends have gotten married and/or moved away so we tended to drift apart.

LaBoob

04-09-2008, 06:00 AM

Well said. I would like to take that one step further on several points.

I also think a true friend is one who calls you if they do not hear from you after a while to make sure you are doing ok.

I have 3 true friends in my life. I guess I would be lucky to say I have even one.

I had a hard time for a LONG time distinguishing between a friend and an aquaintence. One is far more trustworthy and caring then the other.

Family IS blood but I have seem some family's that instead of dying FOR them you want THEM to die. Just because they are family does not mean that are absolved from treating you or anyone you care about like crap. Family SHOULD act even better then a true friend but that is not always the case. Sometimes it is better to cut the FAMILY loose and keep the true friend. That is not always the case but it does happen.

But here is another question...I was friends, true friends, with someone from 5th grade up until we were over 30. He was the best man at my wedding. Out of the blue, he stops calling me. (Initiated calls or just calling me back). Does not tell me when he is back visiting his folks (who lived 10 mins from me) or anything. It was as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. And there was no falling out. No disagreement. Nothing.
Even his mother(who I still talk to from time to time) was puzzled. She wished she had an answer. She even called me her other son. Which was nice to hear.
I should also point out that this person also got married last November. The only way I found out was the wedding announcement in the local town paper where my folks live. My mother was the one who told me.

He was my best man and I never even got the invite to his wedding.
Nice.

Was this person a true friend? we had been friends for 20 years. Then he does this. Should his actions now nullify what he USED to be?

How did you handle this? Did you call this guy and he never returned your calls? How long did you call him without him returning your calls before you stopped calling? I've heard scenarios like this before, and hell, lived through them, and it's like it's a mutual cut off in communications, but each person blames the other one for losing touch with them...

I don't think the number has to be "5", but think the point is that it's a small number, no matter how many people you know. I have fewer than 5 true friends, but know exactly who to call in an emergency. A true friend is someone you can call up in a pinch and say "It's an emergency... I need you here NOW!" and they jump up and run out the door. I had to put this to a test not long ago and my friend did come over and help me out... and I'll never forget the fact that that friend (pretty much) instantly came over and stood by my side through my emergency.

drjoek

04-09-2008, 06:29 AM

Someone who will make the best sig pics for you and asks nothing in return is a true friend.

Mike Teacher

04-09-2008, 06:38 AM

I have 2 extremely close friends who would do anything for me in a heartbeat, no questions ask. And I would do the same for them.

This is the relationship I have with my balls.

Bossanova

04-09-2008, 06:54 AM

I have many acquaintances, but maybe 3-4 true friends. These are the ones that can handle my vicious jokes, ones that I can tell anything to, and ones I will throw down for in a second

King Hippos Bandaid

04-09-2008, 07:01 AM

I have many acquaintances, but maybe 3-4 true friends. These are the ones that can handle my vicious jokes, ones that I can tell anything to, and ones I will throw down for in a second

what he said

Kris10

04-09-2008, 07:04 AM

This is the relationship I have with my balls.

Really? I thought you were ball-less.

Justice4all

04-09-2008, 08:22 AM

How did you handle this? Did you call this guy and he never returned your calls? How long did you call him without him returning your calls before you stopped calling? I've heard scenarios like this before, and hell, lived through them, and it's like it's a mutual cut off in communications, but each person blames the other one for losing touch with them...

I don't think the number has to be "5", but think the point is that it's a small number, no matter how many people you know. I have fewer than 5 true friends, but know exactly who to call in an emergency. A true friend is someone you can call up in a pinch and say "It's an emergency... I need you here NOW!" and they jump up and run out the door. I had to put this to a test not long ago and my friend did come over and help me out... and I'll never forget the fact that that friend (pretty much) instantly came over and stood by my side through my emergency.

For your question, I called him for about a year...maybe a little more. I talked to him near the end of the summertime. We would talk every couple of weeks. It was not unheard of for us to go maybe a month and not talk. Then when the holidays came I called him to see what he was up to and no call back. Kept calling him every few weeks to see if he was around/maybe I could go down and visit/when is he coming up again.
Nothing.
The last couple of times I called is when that DC sniper was picking people off left and right. He lived right in that area. I called and told him I hope he was keeping his head down and was ok. Called about 3 or 4 time more in those weeks.
No call back.
It was then that I just stopped calling him. I figured, if for a little more then a year he was not returning my calls he just did not want to talk anymore, for whatever reason.
20 years then nothing. It just puzzled me, that's all.

And as for the emergency thing....yes I know what you mean. I had my cousin call his Fiance` in the middle of the night because his car broke down. She told him "I'm too tired to come out to get you, call *my brother in law* and see if he will help".
That is the person he is supposed to spend the rest of his life with and she said 'No' to coming out to help him?????
That marrige will never happen, and if it does, won't last.

LaBoob

04-09-2008, 08:26 AM

For your question, I called him for about a year...maybe a little more. I talked to him near the end of the summertime. We would talk every couple of weeks. It was not unheard of for us to go maybe a month and not talk. Then when the holidays came I called him to see what he was up to and no call back. Kept calling him every few weeks to see if he was around/maybe I could go down and visit/when is he coming up again.
Nothing.
The last couple of times I called is when that DC sniper was picking people off left and right. He lived right in that area. I called and told him I hope he was keeping his head down and was ok. Called about 3 or 4 time more in those weeks.
No call back.
It was then that I just stopped calling him. I figured, if for a little more then a year he was not returning my calls he just did not want to talk anymore, for whatever reason.
20 years then nothing. It just puzzled me, that's all.

And as for the emergency thing....yes I know what you mean. I had my cousin call his Fiance` in the middle of the night because his car broke down. She told him "I'm too tired to come out to get you, call *my brother in law* and see if he will help".
That is the person he is supposed to spend the rest of his life with and she said 'No' to coming out to help him?????
That marrige will never happen, and if it does, won't last.

Well, I'm glad to see that you made that effort. It's so strange for someone like that to disappear out of your life... I would HAVE to know from that person what happened. I've let friends go, but then again, they weren't TRUE friends.

About your cousin... good f'in luck to him... that's the one person in the world who should've jumped out of bed to get him.

Justice4all

04-09-2008, 09:25 AM

Well, I'm glad to see that you made that effort. It's so strange for someone like that to disappear out of your life... I would HAVE to know from that person what happened. I've let friends go, but then again, they weren't TRUE friends.

About your cousin... good f'in luck to him... that's the one person in the world who should've jumped out of bed to get him.
Thanks. I have been known to not be the fuck up from time to time. It doesn't happen often but it still...:laugh:

And the last time I talked to his mom she brought the subject up...I didn't. She even told me she has NO idea why her son never calls me anymore. If she knew she would tell me.

The way I figure it...if she didn't know why there was no chance I was going to find out why. You are right...you just gotta let some things go like that.

And for my cuz....yea I wanted to share my opinion with him but my entire family suggested against it. Besides, the story I shared was not something that was made public in my family circle. If I went to him about it some people would be in trouble. I was told to be quiet to keep the peace.

Family.....:annoyed:

Death Metal Moe

04-09-2008, 09:32 AM

5 is way too many.

CofyCrakCocaine

04-09-2008, 09:36 AM

Dunno, I'm too young to appreciate the meaning of "true" friend. All relations are expendable but family is not. That's how it is for me.

Death Metal Moe

04-09-2008, 09:46 AM

Dunno, I'm too young to appreciate the meaning of "true" friend. All relations are expendable but family is not. That's how it is for me.

Close family is not expendable, extended family sure is. I found I can form much closer relationships with friends than most of my extended family.

Furtherman

04-09-2008, 09:54 AM

I'm a loyality guy. If you are cool with me or do me a favor, I'm cool with you and will drop anything to return the favor. I'm glad to help.

I'm not a big "call on the phone just to see how you are doing" guy. If a guy friend said to me, "How come you haven't called in so long", I'd ask them if their skirt is too tight. I'm just not into that. I make an effort to call the parents once a week. My brothers? We never call each other. But it doesn't matter. We may not see each other for a year, but once we get back together it's like we never left. We're laughing and fighting with each other right away.

That's the way it is with my "true" friends as well. Hell, I don't even know exactly what some of them do for a living. Again, doesn't matter. Good people are good people, and you stick by them.

CofyCrakCocaine

04-09-2008, 09:56 AM

Close family is not expendable, extended family sure is. I found I can form much closer relationships with friends than most of my extended family.

Me too, but I can cut someone off with no shame or regret if I feel they crossed a line. Plenty of close pals have become "dead" to me but not a single family member. I once had a fight with my older brother and we didn't speak to each other for 3 years...but we felt like shit for it cuz we're family. Any friendship I've cut off, in contrast, no regretsss.

Ditto for extended family...unless you're Italian...only the closest relations count as family to me.

LaBoob

04-09-2008, 10:06 AM

Thanks. I have been known to not be the fuck up from time to time. It doesn't happen often but it still...:laugh:

And the last time I talked to his mom she brought the subject up...I didn't. She even told me she has NO idea why her son never calls me anymore. If she knew she would tell me.

The way I figure it...if she didn't know why there was no chance I was going to find out why. You are right...you just gotta let some things go like that.

And for my cuz....yea I wanted to share my opinion with him but my entire family suggested against it. Besides, the story I shared was not something that was made public in my family circle. If I went to him about it some people would be in trouble. I was told to be quiet to keep the peace.

Family.....:annoyed:

I was in this situation not too long ago when my sister was engaged... only it was my own sister who I wanted to say was the wrong person for her fiance... you have to know her to understand, but she's pretty goddamn obnoxious... I've heard her turn around and say "I f'in hate him" or say to his face some pretty horrible things. It's on the border of verbal abuse. I tried to tell my mom time and time again that this marriage was a bad idea, but she told me sometimes you have to let people live their own lives and find these things out for themselves. Since she said that I've completely let it go. It hasn't been easy, but now when my sister fights with her husband (and I mean this guy can literally do nothing right, according to my sis - think Anthony Cumia's ex-wife... I hear those stories and it hits so close to home) I can block it out, or find some humor in it. It's not pleasant, and I have friends who want nothing to do with her, but she's my sister and while I don't support it, I do love her.

Justice4all

04-09-2008, 10:59 AM

I was in this situation not too long ago when my sister was engaged... only it was my own sister who I wanted to say was the wrong person for her fiance... you have to know her to understand, but she's pretty goddamn obnoxious... I've heard her turn around and say "I f'in hate him" or say to his face some pretty horrible things. It's on the border of verbal abuse. I tried to tell my mom time and time again that this marriage was a bad idea, but she told me sometimes you have to let people live their own lives and find these things out for themselves. Since she said that I've completely let it go. It hasn't been easy, but now when my sister fights with her husband (and I mean this guy can literally do nothing right, according to my sis - think Anthony Cumia's ex-wife... I hear those stories and it hits so close to home) I can block it out, or find some humor in it. It's not pleasant, and I have friends who want nothing to do with her, but she's my sister and while I don't support it, I do love her.

I understand. Your mom is trying to keep the peace and not come across as the bad guy/girl here.

If you really think your Bro in law is a good guy and is un-justly being attacked left and right by your sis then tell HIM that. Maybe suggest he should go into threapy. If he comes to the realization that he deserves better, and doesn't get it, then he might actually grow the cahones to leave her.

If my sister was THAT much a douche to my bro in law (who is an awsome guy) I would yell at her in front of him to prove the point. Yes many of my family would have hated me, but being the black sheep, I am used to it. And she would have deserved it.

And not for nothing, but someone like your sis is a prime candidate for a cheater. (Trust me I KNOW THIS) so it will be only a matter of time before she just looks at her husband as a spineless wimpy ATM machine. Just good enough to provide money. She will eventually go and have an affair. If that happens....I would expose her to him and help him move on.

Not saying your sister is a whore or anything like that, just going by what I read there.

And by the way...if you did that for your bro in law you would qualify as a 'true friend' to him. Risking something to help him out.

Wouldn't you say?

LaBoob

04-09-2008, 11:38 AM

I understand. Your mom is trying to keep the peace and not come across as the bad guy/girl here.

If you really think your Bro in law is a good guy and is un-justly being attacked left and right by your sis then tell HIM that. Maybe suggest he should go into threapy. If he comes to the realization that he deserves better, and doesn't get it, then he might actually grow the cahones to leave her.

If my sister was THAT much a douche to my bro in law (who is an awsome guy) I would yell at her in front of him to prove the point. Yes many of my family would have hated me, but being the black sheep, I am used to it. And she would have deserved it.

And not for nothing, but someone like your sis is a prime candidate for a cheater. (Trust me I KNOW THIS) so it will be only a matter of time before she just looks at her husband as a spineless wimpy ATM machine. Just good enough to provide money. She will eventually go and have an affair. If that happens....I would expose her to him and help him move on.

Not saying your sister is a whore or anything like that, just going by what I read there.

And by the way...if you did that for your bro in law you would qualify as a 'true friend' to him. Risking something to help him out.

Wouldn't you say?

My brother in law is a mystery to me. He's so extremely passive that he literally doesn't care about my sister shooting her mouth off every chance she gets. I used to live with my sister and he practically lived with us, so I'm an expert at analyzing their relationship... The single most amazing thing to me is that my sister never, EVER asked him about marriage, or pressured him into marriage, or gave him any ultimatums or anything. It was all his idea! He's also always said that her boarish personality is endearing to him. WHA?!! You or I might not get this, but it's what makes their relationship work. She needs to control someone and he needs to be controlled. I'm not saying this will work this way forever... it's my opinion that he'll probably get sick of it after a while.

Also, while my sister is super-obnoxious and totally out of control, I still love her and couldn't be responsible for busting up her marriage. If she was cheating (wouldn't happen... she's too lazy and she's no supermodel, so it's not like guys are beating down her door) and I knew it I would talk to her about it until I'm blue in the face, but it's just not my place to rat her out to her husband. I'm loyal to my sister first, no matter how little sense it makes in this situation. I just want to be the one person in my sister's life who she can trust no matter what the situation. That's my role as a family member and I know she's the same way with me.

Believe it or not, despite my sister-bashing, I do love her. She's bat-shit crazy, but at least she's not boring.

weekapaugjz

04-09-2008, 11:41 AM

id have to say 5 is a good number to start at. i have 2 friends that i have known since i was born and 2 friends i met in college. three of the four live a long distance away so we don't see each other often but try to stay in contact every few weeks. everytime i talk to them i could talk for hours even if i hadn't talked to them in awhile.

i also consider my brother my best friend. most people are close with their family but aren't really friends. my brother was always there for me growing up and it will never be forgotten. im going to be the best man in his wedding this coming summer which means everything to me. when he first got engaged i was worried he would pick one of his other friends. i can't wait to make a speech at his wedding saying how proud i am to have him as my brother and my best friend.

Justice4all

04-09-2008, 11:52 AM

My brother in law is a mystery to me. He's so extremely passive that he literally doesn't care about my sister shooting her mouth off every chance she gets. I used to live with my sister and he practically lived with us, so I'm an expert at analyzing their relationship... The single most amazing thing to me is that my sister never, EVER asked him about marriage, or pressured him into marriage, or gave him any ultimatums or anything. It was all his idea! He's also always said that her boarish personality is endearing to him. WHA?!! You or I might not get this, but it's what makes their relationship work. She needs to control someone and he needs to be controlled. I'm not saying this will work this way forever... it's my opinion that he'll probably get sick of it after a while.

Also, while my sister is super-obnoxious and totally out of control, I still love her and couldn't be responsible for busting up her marriage. If she was cheating (wouldn't happen... she's too lazy and she's no supermodel, so it's not like guys are beating down her door) and I knew it I would talk to her about it until I'm blue in the face, but it's just not my place to rat her out to her husband. I'm loyal to my sister first, no matter how little sense it makes in this situation. I just want to be the one person in my sister's life who she can trust no matter what the situation. That's my role as a family member and I know she's the same way with me.

Believe it or not, despite my sister-bashing, I do love her. She's bat-shit crazy, but at least she's not boring.

Well now knowing a little bit more I can see how your bro in law kinda brought this on himself. And your sister does not have to be that good looking to find a guy willing to be with her. All she has to be is a woman. Again trust me on this one, I know. (shamefully)

I dig you love your sister and are loyal first to her. I would be too. I didn't think you were bashing her. But you are able to see things better and have a good perspective. I think it's cool you are not blinded because 'it's family'.
I dislike people who think they aren't allowed or choose not to see other family members negative traits because of the 'obligation' of being a member of a family.

You know your sisters good and bad points. Sounds like you got your head on straight with this one. Sounds like you'd make a good 'true friend'. (Just trying to keep the thread in topic here):king:

I am blessed because I could most likely count on one hand the times I would have called my sister a bitch. She really is awsome. I would do anything I could for her. (And for her husband who is equally as awsome)

commish13

04-09-2008, 12:06 PM

Close family is not expendable, extended family sure is. I found I can form much closer relationships with friends than most of my extended family.

Absolutely. I have two brothers, both of whom are pretty close in age to me, and both of my parents. I would do anything for any of them. My extended family are people who are acquaintances at best. I love 'em because they're family, but if I never speak to or see them ever again, I won't feel like I'm missing something special.

As far as true friends, I think I have one, maybe two. And it's been 6 months or so since I've seen either of them. I have a lot of people who are my friends that I see much more often and I'm comfortable with them and I like doing things with them, but I'm not that close with them even though I share the same sense of humor and taste in entertainment things.

It made it even more obvious when the guy I hang out with and go places with the most stayed over at my house for a couple nights. With my true friends, when they stay at my house, I can hang with them for hours. I didn't even want to hang out with this friend, and I stayed in my room and left him to hang in the basement and do whatever he was doing.

So I have one, maybe two true friends, both of whom I met in 6th grade. Hung out with them all through high school, and rarely see them much now that we're at different colleges. But I'm still closer to them than I am to people I see and hang out with every day or a few times a week.