When do you Know what do with your life?

[BronxJohnny]

I am currently at a cross roads in my life which has hit me a lot faster than i ever saw coming. Currently i am in a fincial situation that has allowed me too pay off all my bills and rest my worries at home. The job itself is very stressful, the only cool thing about it is my main supervisor Mr. Fortune, he's a laid back old school cat who is honest and if you ever would want to work for someone it would be this man. The problem with my job, it's a job it isn't a career, im going to be 25 this year and this isn't what i had pictured in my mind as current employment. Yeah i could be jobless right now but i have a co-worker who is a snake in the grass, decent pay but nowhere near what i should be making and a loyalty to a boss, who in all honesty, is on a sinking ship as far as our accountant goes, we have to many conspirators trying to get us fired. I do not know what too do with my life right now, i've read in books about these people with the courage to leave their regular minuscle job and take a chance too go after a dream with them at the end achieving their goals. For every 10 books like that though their folks who have gone broke and no one knows their story because their destitute, i still want to be in radio, i would like too be a producer and i have never said this out loud but if Ron and Fez or Opie and Anthony ever offered me a gig, though a dream, i could never take it because i'm not qualifed for any position yet, though if given three months with extensive on the job training i would be sufficent and usable. I have too much respect for both shows and myself to make a joke out of it. I've never really been a risk taker either i just don't know what the fuck to do, on my off time i spark up (no more drug testing Yay) :smoke::smoke:have a shot of whiskey and listen too old school country, reggae or blues and XM 202 and focus on fixing sextravaganza and figuring how too improve High Society Radio. I'm one of those brainless guys who don't get why people like, nor dislike me, or why folks say hey your funny on air you should be on more or hey where you been. I never got what i do that gets a reaction, basically i don't get shit im an idiot but i did come to Ron and Fez.net because i know their are alot of folks on this site who have been through similair situations or are going throught it im just looking for some sage advice is all. Peace Chuccch and Tabernacle

[PapaBear]

Ask Ron.

[Gvac]

Johnny, more often than not, figuring out what you're going to do with the rest of your life doesn't hit you like a bolt of lightning. Most people (myself included) kind of just fall into a career that they never intended or dreamed of.

When I was just about your age I took a job to pay the bills, never intending for it to become a career. All these years later, here I am. It was never a blip on the screen as far as what I wanted to be when I grew up, and while I don't have a burning passion for what I do, I do enjoy it and it has allowed me to make a good living.

All of the experience you gain and the contacts you make will always allow you to impress other people, so keep your options open.

And have some faith in yourself! You're no idiot.

All the best, bro.

[BronxJohnny]

Thanks Gvac, and as far as going to Ron the man has an empire to run im not bugging him. I just find it kinda lame that i dont know what i want to do, i dont wanna be Al Bundy of radio, had a hit bit on a world wide radio show had my own show now im a security guard with a red headed wife and dunce kids Love Married with Children last great male sitcom

[A.J.]

I'm moving this to That's Life so that responses will be kept serious.

[topless_mike]

johnny,
you're 25.
some people dont figure out what they want to do with their lives until they are 40. just keep doing what you love as long as it pays the bills. who knows. you may end up doing something that you didnt know you love and never thought you would (or could) do.

weird shit happens, man.

[Radioguy]

I'd say drop the "fuck howard" from your sig for starters. Whatever you feel, why burn a bridge before coming to it?

[BronxJohnny]

Lol i meant the duck when i started the accountant it was on i never could figure how he bagged suddenly susan shes a hot piece of grandma ass

[Mafialife Chris]

BJ,

I know you hate hearing the advice from the tough loved ones, but maybe it's time you stop doing drugs and drinking until you get it all figured out. They can sometimes be mind altering and effect your "motivation".

You have 1 up on everyone because you are in studio already with experience. And i know you have a degree. Now is not the time to pretend to BOTHER the host of the show your interning/helping with. Now is the time to do the oposite. I know Ron, he will never feel like your bothering him if you let him know that you want to be given more difficult and frequent responsabilities. Maybe Fez is the man to talk to as well.

My best advice is to step up, stop being shy and go ask for what you want from him(you sorta did by making this post, but i mean in person). If you need a few months of hands on training, then let the man in charge know directly. Ask for a few minutes of private time and let him know your wants and intentions. Stay on a straight and narrow and when the time comes that you get the chance to train, go above and beyond the call of duty.

Letting Dave, Fez, Earl, Pitz, Ron know that you are looking for MORE duties and responsabilities will let them know your serious and not just laid back waiting for something to happen. Spark the interest. make something happen in your direction. be the go-getter!

I dont know who you answer to, and i dont know who makes the decisions for what but after you ask for it from that person. Show them you want it by actions. I am not in your business, so i dont know what those actions will be, but you do!

And i wish you all the best. I know damn well i enjoy hearing you on air. I love the podcast and I have faith you will find a place in your work and potential career. This comes from the heart!

Hope it helps. it always helps for me. Just know that when your more active and agressive in the role of your dreams and goals, you are more prone for alot of "no" answers. and blocks in life. So when you go get shit, be prepared for more rejection. Accept it, and keep trying. Dont quit, and dont get lax!

CHURCH!

[Mike Teacher]

I felt exactly like that at 25 Johnny, and I feel that way now at 44.

So I have nothing, except one thing: You are far from brainless. Very far. And that is all the difference. You can do anything. Think of the possibilities. Anything.

[TheGameHHH]

Johnny, I'm in the same boat kid. I'm 26 and in school right now for something I'm not even positive I want to do. I'm still trying to find my place in the world and at my age its incredibly frustrating considering most of my friends have real legit jobs that are slowly becoming their careers (and they are quite nice career paths). I feel like the world left me behind after I graduated college. I actually consider myself pretty intelligent, nothing brilliant but slightly above average yet i cant find a job i want to make my career. All I really love doing is watching sports and writing and/or talking about them. I don't feel like that's a viable career path because its just wanting to get paid for enjoying things i can do in my spare time. I feel totally inept in the world and it depresses me on many levels. So I feel your pain buddy.

[Devo37]

i think it's getting harder and harder to know what you wanna do with your life in the world we live in now. by the time you work towards the job you want, that job may not even exist anymore!

in a lot of jobs now, things change so quickly that the skills you learn in college (or even on-the-job) may be obsolete by the time you decide "this is the thing for me".

i may end up regretting it (hopefully not), but rather than think about "where i want to be in 5 years", i prefer to take things day by day and not lock myself into one field or one career-path.

if a good opportunity comes along, who knows where it will take me!

[JustJon]

Eh, I'm in a field I enjoy and have natural ability with, but I can't say I know what I want to do with my life. I hope I'll know what it is when I find it, but I'm always actively trying to do things. Sometimes there's some minor success, sometimes I fail, but I'm always willing to put myself out there in the chance that I'll find what I'm looking for.

There's nothing wrong with working that 9 to 5 job while you try to figure things out, but always remember that there's the 5 to 9 where you can do whatever you think it takes to do to try to find what you want to do with your life.

[TeeBone]

I'm moving this to That's Life so that responses will be kept serious.

Is that what it takes to be serious?


Bronx - listen.
You're 25 and fall into a category of most 25 year olds when asking the question of, "...what am I going o do?"
I see this as a positive first step. At the very least, you have taken it upon yourself to ask the question and try to do something about it. I think Gvac was right in telling you that more often than not; people fall into something and it becomes a career. When that happen for you (and it will, my friend) be ready. Don't question it too much and just go with it. Get outside of your normal thought process a bit and forge ahead. Pardon the cliche, but listen to yourself a little more. You ultimately have to live with your decisions and be ready to make the right ones. I will say however that if you are serious about what you intend to do with your life that it may include putting down the pipe for a while and that will not only give you the legal ability to try new things with a career but very well might give your mind and body a break from the constant fog of disillusionment.

But again, listen to yourself and you will be alright. You can do it, Bronx, just don't doubt yourself and fuck ANYONE who tells you you can't do something.


Steeple,

TeeBone

[Ritalin]

Johnny, you need to change your perspective, because you don't need to figure out what to do with your life. Your life is happening right now.

If there's anything I've learned living 42 years that I can pass down, it's that it doesn't work the way you think it does, figuring out "what to do with your life". Hardly anybody goes to college, gets a job, stays there 30 years and then retires. You will constantly be looking for the next thing, or something better. Constantly looking for another outlet for your creativity, your energy.

Life is a hustle, and I don't mean that as a negative. If the thing for you right now is to have a gig that pays your bills and keeps you steady, that's not the worst thing in the world. Believe me, nothing keeps you from finding that next thing more than being broke. But don't get lazy. Don't let the cushion of having a couple of bucks in your pocket keep you soft.

Try stashing a little money away, so you have the chance to take a gig that doesn't pay a lot of money but looks like a good opportunity to make contacts or do good work. Be lean and mean. Be alert. Be on the lookout.

You're a talented guy, Johnny, one living in a great market with good connections. Don't spend so much time thinking about it. Just get out there.

[Thebazile78]

I just read this in today's (4/17/08) Fashion & Style section in the NY Times; maybe it will help you put things into perspective:

Prepping Children for the 9 to 5 (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/17/fashion/17WORK.html?ref=fashion) (Lisa Belkin; "Life's Work" column)

(Yes, it's written primarily for parents, but there's nothing that says we children can't learn from it!)

[Arienette]

upon just reading the title of this thread, "when do you know what to do with your life?" i think the answer for a lot of us might be "never."

although some of this will be redundant... you seem to have a passion for radio and although it's probably a pretty difficult field to succeed in, if you feel passionately about it you should try. and given your involvement already with ron and fez, you have a much better chance than other people out there with a dream to be in radio do. you shouldn't feel like you're bothering ron by voicing your aspirations. as others have said, it will show that you're serious about it and want to move forward with your radio career. he knows that you're a talented and smart guy, it would only help his empire for him to listen and consider your interest.

you shouldn't feel bad that you don't know exactly where you're headed yet. i think most people don't ever completely know. i'm 29 now and i'm already on my second career. and i can't say that i'm entirely convinced that this is it for me....

[SyndicateParish]

I feel ya brother. I did not know wtf to do with my life, I was a hard worker when I wanted to be, kinda smart, and quick on the uptake. However, everything I tried left me bored, and looking like a lazy fuck.

The good new is, I found my thing just around 23 and I went to school for it. I went from being a D high school student, to being the honors speaker at my college graduation. Take it from me, you just need that one spark to fan it into a flame forever.

My personal Tips:

Find your love:
The key is finding your love. No amount of what you 'should' do, will match doing something you truely love. Whats love? You know you love what you do, when you don't have to focus on doing it. It just takes you in and keeps you warm. How do you find it? For me I had to keep trying until I found it.. It took years. I personally, am making money at doing something I never knew I could. What are you most interested in? I mean really?.. Not just, I like it.. but, you say, 'fuck' I wish I could do this forever. That does not mean an answer like being rich, that means something like "I absolutely love playing video games, maybe I should design and test video games".. Here is the rub, maybe you love a chick, or sparking up more than anything else. Well, then thats your path bruther. You can't do both.

If it feels like work, fuck it:
If it feels like work, that job's not it. Drop that shit ASAP, if you don't like it.. Move on, the faster you move on, the faster you find the real deal. Maybe you have to go to trade school, maybe you have to live like shit for a few years while you learn the trade, but if you love that shit you won't care, you will do it, and look forward to doing it.

You create your own luck:
Yeah, a lot of people say that shit.. but luck is just preperation that meets timing. If you are not prepared when your opportunity knocks, you wasted that opportunity. Be fucking prepared. Remember, you should be doing what you love, so working all day and night in preperation should be no big deal.. The only time it is a problem, is when you really don't love the path you set yourself...

Start with a goal:
Your goal, is yours and yours alone, you love it, you will do everything to meet it. Don't go to school and decide what to do with it later.. Get a real honest goal that will reward your lifestyle whatever it may be. Too many people just do shit cus they 'should'. Then they graduate and schlep around scratching away at the same life mommy and daddy hoped they would have. Fuck that, money is not everything. I've seen dudes make minimal cash that love what they do. Their lives are friggin awesome. They live like Yoda, and they are at peace with life. I've also seen rich guys who can't get enough, they live lives that they resent, nothing is good enough, they are always on the path to something that will get better. In the end, the Yoda dude appreciates everything and lives a fulfilling and wonderful life, the rich dude ends up resenting everything he has and dies with hunger.


The answer is already with you. There is something you love in life that you would not mind doing forever. For me it was something ubsurd that nobody thought you could do as a job. For you it might be in right field, or it might be so close to you that you can't see it.

Do your research and self reflection.

I will say, these types of descisions are hard to make without personal clarity. So whenever you decide, do it from a place of honesty.


All the best man,
SP / MobCounty

[TeeBone]

upon just reading the title of this thread, "when do you know what to do with your life?" i think the answer for a lot of us might be "never."

Actually, I just read the thread title as well and it asks, "When Do you know what do with your life?"
The answer may very well be NOT a grammar teacher.
In all seriousness, bronx is going to be fine. He'll be successful if he just commits.

[zathrus]

some of us are still trying to figure out what to do with our lives.

[nukinfuts]

Johnny, more often than not, figuring out what you're going to do with the rest of your life doesn't hit you like a bolt of lightning. Most people (myself included) kind of just fall into a career that they never intended or dreamed of.

When I was just about your age I took a job to pay the bills, never intending for it to become a career. All these years later, here I am. It was never a blip on the screen as far as what I wanted to be when I grew up, and while I don't have a burning passion for what I do, I do enjoy it and it has allowed me to make a good living.

.


Gvac...I totally agree. I don't know of very many people who are out there doing exactly what they set out to do because lets face it, when you are 18 years old you don't know shit, in fact I really didn't know shit until I was about 25 and I kind of fell into my career about that age. It is good Johnny that you are asking yourself that question about how do you know what you are supposed to be doing because that means maybe you are ready to be open to "what you want to be when you grow up" :smile: Also finding what you love to do as a career often makes you come down to the decision of doing what you love to do or doing what you are going to make a lot of money doing. Even people who have a job that they really want have times that they hate what they are doing. I am not an overly religious person but I do think that sometimes when you are at a crossroads there are things which come your way that in hindsight seem like they are just given to you as a little push in the right direction. You are also never too old to get an education either, I will be 34 in May and I will finally be finished with my degree....not every job is based on a piece of paper that says you sat in a classroom and a lot of people overlook the lack of a college degree if you have experience and bust your butt at a job.

[BronxJohnny]

SyndicateParish holy shit dude YES you fucking get me man. Everything you said is what im going through. I am a little worried that i'll be going from job to job though because i still am not sure what im good at or what i want too do. Really do appreciate the advice theres alot of turmoil at the hotel gig right now.

[ChimneyFish]

The answer is already with you. There is something you love in life that you would not mind doing forever. For me it was something ubsurd that nobody thought you could do as a job. For you it might be in right field, or it might be so close to you that you can't see it.

Do your research and self reflection.

I will say, these types of descisions are hard to make without personal clarity. So whenever you decide, do it from a place of honesty.

What if you're a 32-year-old, freshly laid off, self-defeatist, with employable skills to speak of, who truly has nothing that he loves doing in this world????

I am honest with myself, and I have nothing that I like to do.
I have no idea where to go from here.

[Thebazile78]

What if you're a 32-year-old, freshly laid off, self-defeatist, with employable skills to speak of, who truly has nothing that he loves doing in this world????

I am honest with myself, and I have nothing that I like to do.
I have no idea where to go from here.

How recently is "recently laid off" ?

Take a week to regroup. Then think about hobbies you might like to do professionally or things that really inspire you ... everyone has some of those, really. Even defeatists.

Then hit the library or, if you went to college, your "career services" office (usually they will offer services like aptitude testing and career counseling to alumni free of charge) to do some research on what you'll have to do in order to make a living at your (former) hobby.
Sometimes townships will run an "adult education" service with relatively inexpensive workshops on resume updating, career counseling and other services you'd probably have to shell out a couple hundred dollars to get ... all for less than $100. Look around; I am sure you'll find something to get you going.

I've started to do the "explore your options" thing myself, seeing as how I can't stand my job and they're supposed to start layoff "wave 1" next week, with a plan for more to follow in June.

(Or you could always apply to work at Macy's. Apparently they're hiring.)

[ChimneyFish]

I've been laid off for three weeks.
Just been fixing up things around my house, waiting for unemployment to start kicking in.

I didn't go to college.
Instead I made the brilliant decision to spend the greater part of my 20s shooting drugs into my arms.(I know, "Don't make ya bad person":smoke:)
After pulling myself out of that shit, I was lucky enough to have this job fall into my lap(a friend worked there at the time and got me hired).
It was a decent paying job, that was pretty low stress.
The majority of what I have done in the past few years wound up being painting.
Now I've been painting in some fashion since high school.
At this point, I'd rather go back to doing drugs, than to spend another day painting.
The problem is, I have no other "skills".

And the thing that gets me so depressed, is not that I'm 32 and have no idea what the fuck to do with my life, it's that I truely don't have a Goddamn thing that I actually can say I love doing.








Anyway, I should really apologize to Bronx Johnny for hijacking his thread.
I didn't do it consciencelessly.
I'm just in really weird place today, but I'll make it through.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Alright budday I hear ya on this and I'm gonna try to give ya "advice" even tho my life is hardly exemplary of a dude who knows where the fuck he's going... so it'll be sloppy advice probably, but I think it's legit... here goes

My experience is, if you wanna get noticed or at least do something good for yourself, you HAVE to go against your polite manners and actually BOTHER people to help you out. Not demand, or give people shit...that's a different beast altogether tho some people fuck up and generalize until they think it's one and the same. So when you say you'd be "bothering" Ron if you tried to talk to him, is complete and utter bullshit. I know cuz I've used that line of thinking and rationalizing for not forwarding my life, for not talking to that pretty girl in the classroom, and what-have-you... "Oh, I'd just bother them... it's not cool to be a bother"... that's shy-guy rationalizing why it's better not to ask ever than it is to ask in the first place.

Y'know what? Fuck that shit. Marcellus Wallace talks about the slight sting in the back of your head... and he's right. Fuck those polite notions in the ass and BOTHER people. I doubt Dave would have got anywhere if he didn't "bother" Ron. You and Hicks are great guys and I think you dudes subdue yourselves on a daily basis for the sake of respect which I think is a mark of a great heart but I personally would be happy to see you guys be more aggressive about pursuing+ expanding your careers in the biz. Ya know what Ronnie says... Rip the tits off, as they say in the Big Leagues.

Whenever I've made the right move in my life, it was when I went AGAINST my natural sensibilities to not bother people I love or respected (or chicks I wanted to go back to that); it was always when I was, in my mind, being a selfish dick who wanted something for myself. Hate ta say it, but you don't make it in gigs like radio or corporate America by being nice. Same with being a lawyer... check out how competitive doctors are with one another.
Wherever ya go, it's competition... which sucks for good guys like yourself, because I know you'd rather be cool and just let things go and be chill about it all than say "ok fuck this guy, fuck 'em all, I'm gonna do this shit for ME"... but it's what you gotta do.

Here's the other deal... never let people tell you waht to do, be, or whatever. Do what you do for you... bottom line. You're nobody's puppet. Having met ya a couple times at bar 9, I was always impressed with how cool and friendly you are. You're a smart guy too. You coined a phrase I use in my everyday life now, The Super Mario. You've impacted dumb schmucks like myself and you ain't even getting paid for it yet! So's I know that whatever you decide to do, you'll be successful in the end. Those people in the streets, most of them are there because a part of them gave up. Wife left, job kicked them out and they didn't know what to do with 'emselves... drugs... whatever... point is, they're on the streets because their heart failed them somewhere down the road... not cuz their plans failed them... and I can say with assurance brother that you got a lot of heart and it ain't failed yet. Don't let it. Give it a chance.

And to answer this thread's question... I think u only know what you wanna do in hindsight... cuz you're too busy living your life to map it out and decide where and how you wanna go from Point A to Point X or whatever the fuck you're doing... let the historians decide that for ya... don't sweat it more than ya need to.

I know this post is way too long and sucks if you don't even read 5% of it, but whatever. Hope it's helpful and not retarded.

[SyndicateParish]

And the thing that gets me so depressed, is not that I'm 32 and have no idea what the fuck to do with my life, it's that I truely don't have a Goddamn thing that I actually can say I love doing..



I hear ya bro.

I feel you more ways than one. I felt shitty a loong time. I still fight the urge to take for granted what I have. Heh, and I know the part about being laid off too. In my thing I go from gig to gig, with maybe an hour or a couple few weeks in between. Each day is pretty much a job interview. Its tough to look my lady in the eye and say, no worries sometimes, but I know if I don't, I'll just freak her out and it will all be for nothing, cus the future will still stay the future.

You honestly have to spend time researching what is out there. You can't enjoy doing something if you don't know its possible. Bartending? Porn Webmaster? Welding? Game Testing? Crab fishing? Looking up skirts as a shoe salesman? Running Support groups? Being a priest? Fucking off on disability insurance? Just don't let that dark cloud rule your shit too hard, look damn hard for that bright spot, you owe it to yourself.

[Ritalin]

Just don't let that dark cloud rule your shit too hard, look damn hard for that bright spot, you owe it to yourself.

You nailed it. Nicely said.