Am I wrong to not want my son to hang out with the effeminate neighbor boy?

[Judge Smails]

Firstly, I know that I started a similar thread about a year ago, but I'll be damned if I can find it. Anyway, I'd like some fresh opinions. I'd like to preface by saying that I'm generally not prejudiced, am a supporter of gay rights and that my wife and I try to teach our kids to be the same way. So, am I being a hypocrite in this instance?

The kid two houses down is the same age as my son (10) but is in 5th grade, whereas my son is in 4th. The kid has a VERY effeminate speech pattern and mannerisms. He is very "delicate" and is prone to crying fits, much like my seven year-old daughter. He has no apparent interest in sports, or most things that the other boys his age seem to enjoy, including girls. When there is a group of kids together he will choose to play with the younger siblings and enjoys acting as a sort of mother hen to them. He likes playing with the room full of stuffed animals that he has and has an unhealthy attachment to his mother for a boy of his age. I guess you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to see where his life is going, but I see an apartment on Retard Island in his future.

Generally my son doesn't even like hanging out with him because they have so little in common. However, on cold and rainy days like today he's just itching for someone to come over and play with his Wii (really, really bad pun, I know). Now, I know he's not going to "turn my son gay" but I feel uncomfortable about it and feel like I need to hover around them, which is something that my son, being a ten year-old boy does not appreciate. My wife says I'm crazy and has taken to calling me Archie Bunker because I'm being so narrow-minded.

Sweet, sweet Oracle; won't you please allay my fears and put my troubled mind at ease?

[djjd]

He is very "delicate" and is prone to crying fits, much like my seven year-old daughter.

anthony got a kid he don't know about?

[TheMojoPin]

If your son is gay, he's already gay.

If he's not, he's just looking for a second player to play video games with. You said it yourself, your kid apparently doesn't like hanging out with him most of the time...so what's the big deal if every so often he wants him to come over to play video games? Unless you're gonna figure out how to play that new-fangled contraption, let 'em have their futuristic fun. You're the dad...if you don't want the kid around, say he's not allowed over anymore. Sounds like your current action plan of "hovering and looming" is more likely to get you branded by the friend as the creepy perv on the block more than anything else.

[sailor]

i can understand your concerns, but i think you're over-reacting. no need to hover or try to limit time he spends with this kid, who your son doesn't even enjoy spending time with except when there's no other options.

[Tenbatsuzen]

jeeb jeeb jeeb jeeb

[commish13]

I don't exactly understand why you have a problem with your son hanging out with the kid. You said he doesn't really like him, and that he only wants the kid around if he's really bored and there's nobody else.

You're being damn hypocritical, really. You obviously do have some issue with the neighbor boy's apparent gayness. If you didn't have a problem with it instead of just saying that you don't have a problem, then you wouldn't mind the kid hanging out now and again.

It sounds like you're afraid that if you leave, when you come back you might see them making out behind the couch or something. It ain't gonna happen. Chances are that your kid and his actual friends already have figured that this kid is a bit different, and they probably make fun of him. I know there were kids that lived closer to me than my real friends when I was younger, and while I generally had nothing in common with them, some days I would hang out with them if there wasn't anything better to do.

Just let it be. In a couple years, the only reason your son is going to hang out around this kid will be because the effeminate neighbor boy hangs out with all of the girls and your son wants to be around them.

[led37zep]

Im not a dad so I can't relate. That being said, if your son doesnt seem to mind and its nothing dangerous (ie drugs) I say you let them hang out. Let them enjoy this time where how you're labeled and what other people think don't matter. The gay kid is gonna have a hard enough time as it is.

[sailor]

Im not a dad so I can't relate. That being said, if your son doesnt seem to mind and its nothing dangerous (ie drugs) I say you let them hang out. Let them enjoy this time where how you're labeled and what other people think don't matter. The gay kid is gonna have a hard enough time as it is.

it doesn't matter to 10 year old boys how you're labeled? for real?

[led37zep]

it doesn't matter to 10 year old boys how you're labeled? for real?

nerd!

I think its on the edge of when it really starts to matter.

[weekapaugjz]

jeeb jeeb jeeb jeeb

:lol:

dammit tenbats! you stole my joke.

[Recyclerz]

I agree with everybody else that it isn't really a big deal. Your son will gravitate to kids who have more similiar interests and I think that it is actually a sign that you're doing a good job in raising your kid that he's willing to reach out to the "different" kid rather than join the mob in ostracizing him.

Of course, as you have already alluded, you're posting this on the Ron & Fez fan site, so I don't think you are going to get too many differerent opinions.

[Ritalin]

I think it would be an issue if there was an age discrepancy ie. the kid is 15 and your son is 10.

But if they're the same age and there's nothing inappropriate going on, let them be. The kid's gay isn't going to rub off on yours. They're just playing video games on a rainy day.

[angrymissy]

Firstly, I know that I started a similar thread about a year ago, but I'll be damned if I can find it. Anyway, I'd like some fresh opinions. I'd like to preface by saying that I'm generally not prejudiced, am a supporter of gay rights and that my wife and I try to teach our kids to be the same way. So, am I being a hypocrite in this instance?

The kid two houses down is the same age as my son (10) but is in 5th grade, whereas my son is in 4th. The kid has a VERY effeminate speech pattern and mannerisms. He is very "delicate" and is prone to crying fits, much like my seven year-old daughter. He has no apparent interest in sports, or most things that the other boys his age seem to enjoy, including girls. When there is a group of kids together he will choose to play with the younger siblings and enjoys acting as a sort of mother hen to them. He likes playing with the room full of stuffed animals that he has and has an unhealthy attachment to his mother for a boy of his age. I guess you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to see where his life is going, but I see an apartment on Retard Island in his future.

Generally my son doesn't even like hanging out with him because they have so little in common. However, on cold and rainy days like today he's just itching for someone to come over and play with his Wii (really, really bad pun, I know). Now, I know he's not going to "turn my son gay" but I feel uncomfortable about it and feel like I need to hover around them, which is something that my son, being a ten year-old boy does not appreciate. My wife says I'm crazy and has taken to calling me Archie Bunker because I'm being so narrow-minded.

Sweet, sweet Oracle; won't you please allay my fears and put my troubled mind at ease?

That "effeminate neighbor kid" was my brother back in the day.

Believe me, he is going to get enough shit growing up as it is.

He's not going to turn your son gay. Let them play Wii together, what's the harm?

[A.J.]

Just let it be. In a couple years, the only reason your son is going to hang out around this kid will be because the effeminate neighbor boy hangs out with all of the girls and your son wants to be around them.

QFT.

[Tenbatsuzen]

I don't think he's going to turn your son gay, but he might have to deal with a couple of issues here:

1) Is your son potentially using the kid for companionship even though you said that "he doesn't like him that much"?

2) Will your son have issues with his other friends because he hangs out with the effeminate kid? If not, is he tough enough to integrate his friendships with his "true" friends and his "wii buddy"?

[Badinia]

This is where you learn the difference between saying you're not prejudiced and behaving in a way that supports that. I know that in this generation (with regional differences), it's still acceptable to display a bias against gay people, but hopefully when your son's an adult, this will sound like dinosaur logic.

Also, I think "Dinosaur Logic" might be a good name for a band.

[Dude!]

when your kid gets home ask him if the other kid asked to play doctor
specifically urologist or proctologist

[happytypinggirl]

gotta agree with your wife on this. not sure what you're afraid of. your kid will become whoever he will become with or without hanging with this kid, and you can't keep someone away from someone they like anyway.

and what are you teaching him by keeping them apart? what kind of a role model are you being? what kind of son do you want to raise?

the fact that he doesn't even really like the kid, and you still object, puzzles me.

[reillyluck]

besides the kid throwing girly fits, does he cause trouble? the kid is probably a good kid, so i'd say let them hang out. this day in age, it's no longer taboo. it's out there. you said it yourself that your son really doesnt like to hang out with him, but playing video games seems harmless.

im sure there are worse neighborhood kids that you'd prefer him not to hang out because lets face it...there is always a douchebag kid in the area who is bad news and likes to get into trouble. the worse that can happen is your kid will be a snappy dresser.

[Gvac]

I say you take your son to a steel mill and show him some real men.

[EliSnow]

Hey, just be glad he's not listening to noise like death metal. I mean, what's the story with that awful noise?

[zildjian361]

you are a hypocrite :happy:in a good way:sad:

[Marc with a c]

you should be fine, just don't let them under your porch.

[jonyrotn]

I'd comment but my mod quotes are bad enough...

[Bossanova]

I'd comment but my mod quotes are bad enough...

I think your mod quotes are inviting:wub:

[Bossanova]

I say take advantage of the situation. Go rent happiness and get some ruffies. Watch the movie and it will explain what to do with the ruffies

[mendyweiss]

Hopefully, He Can Help Young Smails Coordinate Some Outfits That Will Get The Young Lassies Swooning !!

[BoondockSaint]

Fifty bucks says the Smails kid touches his Wii.

[paracetamol flanders]

judgey mcjudgerton;

Congratulations on stepping out of the homophobe closet. Or could it be that you are afraid that the "effeminate" neighbour boy will reveal YOUR secret friendship with Dorothy (at least you're not a Cylon. PHEW!)?

But seriously, is it not also enriching to have your son interact in a positive (er, non-sexual) way with a young, potentially stereotypically gay person? If it is at his request, and there is no real threat apart from coming down with a case of limp wrists (Wii's can really wear your wrists out), then why not let him hang with a, let's just say "different" sort of young person? You stand to learn something about your son and yourself as well, especially if your son brings up some questions based on his perception of the neighbour kid's "otherness." Or maybe it will just be fun for all concerned without incident.

Unless, of course, the Pete Townshend fodder next door IS a Cylon.

[A.J.]

Fifty bucks says the Smails kid touches his Wii.

Another fifty says he eats it.

[jonyrotn]

I see a business opportunity...
Put a web cam on them and you can charge all the creepy N.A.M.B.L.A. pervs $50 a pop to watch "Two Twinks Playing With Their Wee WIs"..Then back up the brinks truck baby, you just hit the Lotto..

[Sheeplovr]

:lol:

dammit tenbats! you stole my joke.

weekapaugjz is anthony?

[BoondockSaint]

Another fifty says he eats it.

That kid will eat anything!

[Coach]

Hopefully, He Can Help Young Smails Coordinate Some Outfits That Will Get The Young Lassies Swooning !! Damn, ya beat me!
He might need an interior decorator in a few years as well though.
Really though, no big deal.
I grew up with a friend who was gay..I am straight, but knew there was something "off"
between whom I was interested in and whom he was interested in, early on..like 8 or so. He knew I was straight as well. He went his path, I went mine, but we remained friends. Yes, I use him to pick out gifts for my mom, sister, and girlfriend. (sometimes, a gay friend is a handy thing! No Homo!)

[Kit the Eskimo]

Just let them hang out. Who else will he play Monster Rain with?

[Ritalin]

..and listen, just because your kid doesn't act effeminate doesn't mean that he's not gay.

It could be that your kid's a top.

[jauble]

Your kid will be fine, but if you are truly worried teach him how to fish with a cane pole.

[SatCam]

kid has a VERY effeminate speech pattern and mannerisms. He is very "delicate" and is prone to crying fits, much like my seven year-old daughter

Dont let him hang out with your son. Have him hang out with your daughter

[Phil_Nubbs]

Firstly, I know that I started a similar thread about a year ago, but I'll be damned if I can find it. Anyway, I'd like some fresh opinions. I'd like to preface by saying that I'm generally not prejudiced, am a supporter of gay rights and that my wife and I try to teach our kids to be the same way. So, am I being a hypocrite in this instance?

The kid two houses down is the same age as my son (10) but is in 5th grade, whereas my son is in 4th. The kid has a VERY effeminate speech pattern and mannerisms. He is very "delicate" and is prone to crying fits, much like my seven year-old daughter. He has no apparent interest in sports, or most things that the other boys his age seem to enjoy, including girls. When there is a group of kids together he will choose to play with the younger siblings and enjoys acting as a sort of mother hen to them. He likes playing with the room full of stuffed animals that he has and has an unhealthy attachment to his mother for a boy of his age. I guess you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to see where his life is going, but I see an apartment on Retard Island in his future.

Generally my son doesn't even like hanging out with him because they have so little in common. However, on cold and rainy days like today he's just itching for someone to come over and play with his Wii (really, really bad pun, I know). Now, I know he's not going to "turn my son gay" but I feel uncomfortable about it and feel like I need to hover around them, which is something that my son, being a ten year-old boy does not appreciate. My wife says I'm crazy and has taken to calling me Archie Bunker because I'm being so narrow-minded.

Sweet, sweet Oracle; won't you please allay my fears and put my troubled mind at ease?

Gay kids perpetuate gay kids. As long as your boy recipricates.

[Furtherman]

As long as they don't drink out of the same glass, he'll be fine. Because that's how ghey is spread. Gazing directly into his eyes could do it as well.