Should I stay or should I go now?

[drjoek]

After listening to Daves answer to the question posed to him toward the end of the show I thought I'd find out what everyone thought about going along to please their spouse. It may have been a bit but Dave was way off with his response that its more important that he be happy than his wife.

Wrong answer




To me you got to do what it takes to make your spouse happy. Be it moving away from Skee ball and cotton candy at the Jersey shore:wallbash:


Where does everyone else stand on this?

[Tallman388]

I do a lot to make my wife happy, I've actually found that it puts me in a good mood to put her in a good mood. But, I certainly don't just go along with things to make her happy, that would make me miserable and put a wedge between us. So I agree with your assessment.

[Dougie Brootal]

im not married but i do have a long time girlfriend and i would move to make her happy. ive been looing for a reason to get far enough from my old friends that theyd never find me anyways!

[underdog]

I would think almost every single person truly in love would do whatever they could to make their partner happy.

Why does it matter where you live if you have the love of your life with you?

[zathrus]

Finally, I found some smart men in this world. Thank you!!!! I was beginning to think that I married the last good guy.

[smiler grogan]

I'd be gone daddy gone, wherever we need to go.

[Coach]

Wow..that's a tough one..and IMO pretty much a Loss Loss situation..If you say no..then you are an asshole. If you say yes..and move where she wants to..then you end up being miserable in a place only she wants to be, and you are still an asshole for making yourself miserable..the only option would be to find a place you mutually like..away from old friends..but close enough to visit both sides..and make new ones.

[jauble]

I almost moved for someone but before that could happen we split up the move had nothing to do with it. Even if I did move and the breakup still happened I think I would still be ok because as was said on the show new places = new chapter of life. I would never end a relationship because I didnt want to move but if I found myself hating the idea then perhaps the relationship was not all it was cracked up to be.

[PapaBear]

I moved for a girl when her family moved away. Also, when I met my first wife, she moved to live with me. I had no regrets.

[realmenhatelife]

I kindof felt like this conversation was a way to ask the question 'would dave quit drinking for his family' without actually bringing it up specifically? Anyone else get that feeling?

I'd probably move, I'd like an excuse to move and it gives you that opportunity to not just move somewhere on your own. As long as she could justify it, cus I have known girls (schizophrenic girls) who says stuff like 'quit your job and we'll just drive around the country' which is not such a reasonable request.

[KnoxHarrington]

To me, that whole conversation pointed up possibly my least favorite thing about ESD on the radio: the way that, occasionally, he will sink his teeth into a stupid argument, and rather than back off even as it becomes apparent how stupid his argument is, he defends it more aggressively. My suspicion is that he knows that if he admits he's wrong, the argument ends, and the show moves on to something else that might not let him monopolize mic time.

I mean, overall, I love Dave and think he's good for the show. It's just that this is something he does all too often.

[LaBoob]

I actually asked someone to move with me one time... I was looking for a change, a commitment, and an adventure... I got none of the above. Nonetheless, I think anybody who is the one doing the asking needs to ask themselves if THEIR partner's happiness is important to THEM. I also think the person being asked needs to know that the person doing the asking isn't taking their happiness lightly (hopefully).I think true love is enjoying time and space with a person no matter where you are or what the circumstances are.

[Freakshow]

I'm not married, but I think if I was I would move just about anywhere. If she had a job lined up or wanted to be close to her family. I wanted to move somewhere (anywhere) after college anyway, but never made it work. Oddly enough I think at the bottom of my list would be the New York suburbs. After that is Flordia. Everywhere else would be pretty cool, in my opinion.:thumbup:

[Caseyelan]

I kindof felt like this conversation was a way to ask the question 'would dave quit drinking for his family' without actually bringing it up specifically? Anyone else get that feeling?


No.

[undressa]

omg, how r u?

[Rockvillejoe]

to accede to your spouses wishes in order to "make her happy" is a huge mistake. this marriage "thing" is not a 50/50 or 60/40 contract, but rather a 100/100 percent contract.

ESD will eventually resent his wife for ruining his life, by him perceiving her demands as selfish. and he will then hold it against her, causing a major rift in the relationship. which in turn will create him eventually spiralling down into an alcoholic funk, and all of the problems that alcoholism creates. namely unprotected sex with hepatitus b drug users, DWI arrests, and cirhossis of the liver.

not even mentioning the damage that his kid will suffer as the recipient of verbal and physical abuse in a dysfunctional home....no, i say ESD and his wife must come to a more balanced resolution in order for this already shaky reunion to make it into its 2nd year.
thank you.

[Caseyelan]

to accede to your spouses wishes in order to "make her happy" is a huge mistake. this marriage "thing" is not a 50/50 or 60/40 contract, but rather a 100/100 percent contract.

ESD will eventually resent his wife for ruining his life, by him perceiving her demands as selfish. and he will then hold it against her, causing a major rift in the relationship. which in turn will create him eventually spiralling down into an alcoholic funk, and all of the problems that alcoholism creates. namely unprotected sex with hepatitus b drug users, DWI arrests, and cirhossis of the liver.

not even mentioning the damage that his kid will suffer as the recipient of verbal and physical abuse in a dysfunctional home....no, i say ESD and his wife must come to a more balanced resolution in order for this already shaky reunion to make it into its 2nd year.
thank you.

You do realize the topic was hypothetical?


(oh, I am feeling fine by the by)

[Gvac]

Silly Casey.

Don't you know EVERYTHING on the radio is real?

[Caseyelan]

Silly Casey.

Don't you know EVERYTHING on the radio is real?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Furtherman]

I'd have no problem moving for my woman. Moving on the dance floor.

*cue Disco Inferno*

[A.J.]

spiralling down into an alcoholic funk, and all of the problems that alcoholism creates. namely unprotected sex with hepatitus b drug users, DWI arrests, and cirhossis of the liver.

I do all that and I'm single.

[Friday]

I'd have no problem moving for my woman. Moving on the dance floor.

*cue Disco Inferno*

mind reader!!

[Rockvillejoe]

[QUOTE=Caseyelan;1725214]You do realize the topic was hypothetical?


no. i actually have the attention span of a 2 year old. i capriciously respond when my gut tells me to spout on about things that may or may not have any relevance. i actually haven't caught the show in quite some time, but do enjoy this forum nonetheless. i am waiting for the sirius/xm merger to recoonect.

having said that, please accept my musings as food for thought. i goof around on this site, but know that marriage is indeed a serious topic and the hardest thing we do as adults. far harder than raising children, making money. you name it. just for the record, and this isn't anything groundbreaking in the fact department, but marriage does indeed require maximum, constant effort and total consideration to your spouse. and, hypothetically or in reality, you guys have a little more difficult task in my view.

you guys did not have the luxury of a lot of time as a nurturing couple in building a strong foundation for your marriage. that foundation can be very helpful during the iinevitable forthcoming "dark hours" all marriages must endure.

having said that. it doesn't mean that you 2 can't live happily ever after regardless of how long you 2 were together prior to having kids. just identify and avoid all of the typical pitfalls that you 2 will encounter. money issues, philosphy differences in child rearing, and an inability to come to common ground on important issues that affect the family unit. such as the hypothetical topic on this thread........and alcohol.

with dave having an apparent predilcition to alchohol, this could derail any future happiness if you 2 are not careful. in my view, and i am no bible belt teetotaler, but your marriage is doomed if you 2 continue to drink. you must stop now before it becomes all-consuming and causes major damage. all for the sake of the marriage. this is one example of why maximum effort for a successful marriage is necessary.

anyway, i've pontificated enough. i'm beginning to make myself nauseous with my dr. phil-like diatribes.

[MobCounty]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've seen what Dave would do for a few bucks. I can't imagine what he would do for the love of his life.:wub:

[ahhdurr]

Moving is probably one of the extremes but anytime there's a situation where I'm going to get screwed a little so my wife can be happy I have to start thinking in terms of value. I just start asking myself "how important is this ? b/c now that's going to change ... how important is this in comparison with my relationship with my wife? with what that means for my family and my future goals?"

Eventually I say something like "go ahead you cunt - you'll be doing it alone." Then I go get a six pack, a hooker and some coke.

[underdog]

to accede to your spouses wishes in order to "make her happy" is a huge mistake. this marriage "thing" is not a 50/50 or 60/40 contract, but rather a 100/100 percent contract.

ESD will eventually resent his wife for ruining his life, by him perceiving her demands as selfish. and he will then hold it against her, causing a major rift in the relationship. which in turn will create him eventually spiralling down into an alcoholic funk, and all of the problems that alcoholism creates. namely unprotected sex with hepatitus b drug users, DWI arrests, and cirhossis of the liver.

not even mentioning the damage that his kid will suffer as the recipient of verbal and physical abuse in a dysfunctional home....no, i say ESD and his wife must come to a more balanced resolution in order for this already shaky reunion to make it into its 2nd year.
thank you.

This could be one of the dumbest posts I've ever read.

[Tazznum1]

Hypothetical questions are really questions that are festering in the other person's mind and is a test to see how their mate would do for them. Rarely are hypothetical questions just fodder for talking.

[Furtherman]

This could be one of the dumbest posts I've ever read.

Just replace "ESD" with Rockvillejoe, and you'll see what it really means.

[Caseyelan]

Hypothetical questions are really questions that are festering in the other person's mind and is a test to see how their mate would do for them. Rarely are hypothetical questions just fodder for talking.

I think its a radio show.

Right?

For entertainment.

Ok then

[mikeyboy]

I think its a radio show.

Right?

For entertainment.

Ok then

There you have it.

She confirmed it.

Marriage and baby = bit.

[Tazznum1]

I wasn't referring to the show, I was talking about hypothetical questions. Yeah, I know the show is for entertainment. That is why some relationships are a joke on there.

[A.J.]

Yeah, I know the show is for entertainment. That is why some relationships are a joke on there.

Not Fez and his fiancee in Niagra Falls.

[Tazznum1]

That was real. I still question the relationship with Dawn Cumia, Anthony's sister for some reason. For some reason it nags on me that it might have been a bit.

[drjoek]

There you have it.

She confirmed it.

Marriage and baby = bit.

Ah HA I was right all along.
What about that whole Midnight Rider bit, he didn't really beat Dave at wrestling did he?

[cash is god]

Lilly Is Awful

[underdog]

Lilly Is Awful

I like how you're such a pussy that you have to log in under a fake account and just trash Lilly.

Boo.

[Rockvillejoe]

Just replace "ESD" with Rockvillejoe, and you'll see what it really means.

shhhhh. i actually feel my dumbest was the whole hemhroid arc. but thanks for reading it....