Judging people for stupid reasons

[reillyluck]

Have you ever not liked someone because of your friends or family? i just wonder because i find it ridiculous that people will do this. I know tons of people that wont associate with individuals because their pal has problems with them.

sometimes it sickens me to know that people cant think for themselves. My motto is..as long as you cause no harm to me, we're cool.

Have you ever fell victim to this? or have you been "that person"?

Discuss....

[ToddEVF]

usually when someone doesn't associate with someone that has problems with a friend its a loyalty thing.

[ibanez23]

I think it depends on the reason your friend doesnt like them.If they did something to that friend that was really nasty or showing bad character as a human being.Why befriend them in the first place.

[reillyluck]

yeah, i get the loyalty thing, but is it fair?

Not the basis of why i started the thread but just an example: my friend millie is friends with this girl Ivy. I cant stand Ivy, yet millie hangs out with her and i have no problem with that. would it be fair to Ivy if Millie just stopped talking to her because i dont like the girl? NO. who am i too get in the way of that? i'd be less of a friend if i let that happen.

[Sinestro]

how come you don't like Ivy? what she do to you?

[reillyluck]

how come you don't like Ivy? what she do to you?

i have a circle of friends since the 5th grade with her included. she would always talk shit behind our backs, stole stuff and would always pin one against the other. all of us (except millie) decided not to deal with her anymore.

we all respect millie's wishes though. Millie will have get together's, she'll even be there. none of us make her feel unwelcome. she's her friend and if she loves her, we just have to accept that.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

you are cool about it

some bitches will hold a grudge if you speak to someone who they dont like


its silly

I hate losing friends via a Divorce

My wife friends got divorced, the Husband an I become really good friends

too bad for me she grew up with the Wife

I haven't spoken to the Husband since

[reillyluck]

you are cool about it

some bitches will hold a grudge if you speak to someone who they dont like


its silly

I hate losing friends via a Divorce

My wife friends got divorced, the Husband an I become really good friends

too bad for me she grew up with the Wife

I haven't spoken to the Husband since

did your wife or his ex tell you to not hang out with him or did you just stop talking to him because of the situation? what led to the disconnection?

[grlNIN]

usually when someone doesn't associate with someone that has problems with a friend its a loyalty thing.

That's pretty much it.

I have this happen a lot unfortunately because i live in a part of NJ where towns are relatively small so for 4 or 5 towns=everyone knows everyone, are friends through someone else, or has heard of the person at least.

I am loyal to my friends & family, so if said person has done something to offend/insult/hurt them but would like to be friends with me, or cool with me then tough shit. In my eyes they've already proven their character through their actions with the person i know.

I would feel like if i went ahead and became friends with that person it would be doubly insulting and hurtful to my already true friend and i am not the type of person to do that.

It may be prideful and it may be stupid to not give the person a real chance at friendship but i know the type of people my own friends are and if they do not like the person i know it's for a real reason.

PS- I have this happen to me via my boyfriend's sister who is friends with 2 of his absolute WORST ex-girlfriends. I can't even begin to tell you how hurtful and insulting it is. It also pretty much destroys any semblance of trust or respect i have for the girl and negotiates the terms of our relationship.

[reillyluck]

excellent points!!!

what i just dont understand is how people judge for "no reason". hell even the mutual friends between "ex's"

me and my ex have mutual friends together. i mean years!! because we dont talk to one another does that mean our friends have to choose sides? that's what i find to be crazy. why should our friends do that when the relationship had nothing to do with them? if that was the case, we'd loose our best friends!!!

another example: i talk to this girl in human resources. a girl in my department cant stand her for whatever reason. everytime she sees me talking to her she's like "uggh...you know i hate her, why do you talk to her?"

im like "because we work together and if i need a questioned answered who else am i going to go to?"

[grlNIN]

Well i think that if there's a really absurd reason as to why they are no friends or don't speak then it can be looked over, just as a means to keep things civil.

I wouldn't go out of my way to avoid someone that my friend doesnt like "just because", that is pretty childish.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

did your wife or his ex tell you to not hang out with him or did you just stop talking to him because of the situation? what led to the disconnection?

wife told me, but friend told wife

[Sinestro]

i have a circle of friends since the 5th grade with her included. she would always talk shit behind our backs, stole stuff and would always pin one against the other. all of us (except millie) decided not to deal with her anymore.

we all respect millie's wishes though. Millie will have get together's, she'll even be there. none of us make her feel unwelcome. she's her friend and if she loves her, we just have to accept that.


So Ivey hasn't changed since 5th grade?? She still does that stuff you listed above even as an adult? Thank goodness for Millie for going against your little clique. But if Ivey still does that stuff as an adult, fuck her................is she cute?

So what does Millie see in her that she treats Ivey as a friend if she does all that stuff you said Ivey did?

[reillyluck]

So Ivey hasn't changed since 5th grade?? She still does that stuff you listed above even as an adult? Thank goodness for Millie for going against your little clique. But if Ivey still does that stuff as an adult, fuck her................is she cute?

So what does Millie see in her that she treats Ivey as a friend if she does all that stuff you said Ivey did?

she did it up until two years ago....thats when i stopped associating with her. she still pisses millie off, but she's better than me for putting up with it. Millie is also the godmother of Ivy's daughter. btw...Ivy is 28.

and yes...she's cute. :smile: see im no haterrrrrrrrrr.

[Sinestro]

My sister had a group of friends (friend a,b,c) where they did alot of stuff together.

I had a friend (friend z), who went out with friend b for awhile. Friend z broke up with friend b and went out with friend a (they almost got married). My sister was caught in a fued as friend b,c froze out friend a. So my sister was caught in the middle of this fued. Whenever my sister would throw parties, she had to have 2 separate parties and we couldn't invite or mention friend z and friend a if friend b and friend c were present. This went on for a couple of years. It took awhile for my sister to tell her friends to get over it and grow the fuck up.

Eventually friend z broke up with friend a.

And everyone is friends again or cordial to each other when there's that big get together and we all meet at the Peach Pit to talk old times.

[Sinestro]

she did it up until two years ago....thats when i stopped associating with her. she still pisses millie off, but she's better than me for putting up with it. Millie is also the godmother of Ivy's daughter. btw...Ivy is 28.

and yes...she's cute. :smile: see im no haterrrrrrrrrr.


Damn that Ivey, using her kid as a peacepipe to be friends with you all. That sneaky bitch!:furious:



you got any pics of your crew in your myspace?

[reillyluck]

Damn that Ivey, using her kid as a peacepipe to be friends with you all. That sneaky bitch!:furious:

:lol:

maybe we can all meet up at the peach pit and discuss this over pie. I love pie.

[nukinfuts]

another example: i talk to this girl in human resources. a girl in my department cant stand her for whatever reason. everytime she sees me talking to her she's like "uggh...you know i hate her, why do you talk to her?"

im like "because we work together and if i need a questioned answered who else am i going to go to?"

That is why I as a woman would rather work with men than in an office full of women because things like that happen and suddenly you are back in high school again. It seems like men don't hold grudges like women do and I envy them for that, I have never heard a man say something like "why are you talking to him, I hate him". I also hate to admit that men do anything better than women but I really do think that they are able to have friendships without worrying what their buddy is going to think.

[A.J.]

EDIT: Sorry, forgot the forum.

[Ritalin]

I am unabashedly guilty of this. If I think a person is a big enough douchebag, then anyone who is meaningfully associated with that person is suspect to me.

[Bossanova]

I must say that I usually let people fight their own battles. I don't worry about what people will think of me if I still speak to someone. They obviously already know that I listen to no one if they are tight with me so fuck'em if they care. Also if I have a problem with someone, I always go out of my way to keep it between me and said douche.

[DiabloSammich]

I have been known to stop listening to certain radio shows based on how they treat certain individuals.

Just sayin.

[Bossanova]

I have been known to stop listening to certain radio shows based on how they treat certain individuals.

Just sayin.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What could that even mean?

[Justice4all]

I am unabashedly guilty of this. If I think a person is a big enough douchebag, then anyone who is meaningfully associated with that person is suspect to me.

I used to be like that, but I know that it would be wrong to hold one person accountable for the sins of another.

If I didn't like or trust several friends because they were friends with one or two douchebags I knew, my list of people I talk to would be very short.

you gotta let your friends choose for themselves. I let their actions towards me speak and not the actions of others.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Can't stand people who get all mad at people they have no gripe with just because some fucking friend got their douche on with them.

Family is a different thing tho. For some reason anyone having a serious fight with a family member automatically becomes someone I dislike. Someone beat up my brother in high school, I don't like 'em even tho my brother used to beat me up and dreamed of kicking his ass when I was older.

So friends can go screw, family is a big deal. Least far as I am concerned. I'm a very loyal friend, I just don't let their experiences define my own. Blood...is different. Dunno why.