why.........

[nellie]

does my mom bug me about how i dress, no matter what i wear, it's never feminine enough for her!!!!!! i don't find that crap comfortable. i like guy's jeans, a nice tee-shirt, and sneakers. i usually wear mets stuff and i sometimes wear my red sox hat. but why does she care?!!! i'm the one who's wearing the clothing not her.

i am the inner child..... quiet, sensitive, and shy

[Gwen]

people are egotistical and self conscious and want you to be a memeber of the herd. Im a member of the herd, but im happy here. If you have the guts to do your own thing f-what everyone else says.

<img src=http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/sheeplovr2/images/1gwensquirrel.jpg>
"Uhhh, but I can't whistle if I eat too many crackers"- Butters

[Sheeplovr]

why cant girls let things like that slide and just do what u want she cant do anythign about it

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS

[nellie]

just do what u want she cant do anythign about it

what?

i am the inner child..... quiet, sensitive, and shy

[Sheeplovr]

Exatly

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS

[nellie]

Exatly


:-)

i am the inner child..... quiet, sensitive, and shy

[Jennitalia]

my grandmother still gives my mom problems if what she's wearing doesn't fit up to her standards. thank god she leaves me alone, maybe because she knows what i'd say. i usually do what i want, not what others want me to do because it's something they'd prefer


<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

[HordeKing1]

NELLIE - Some parents tend to view their children as narcissitic extensions of themselves.

Although you're the one wearing the clothing, it doesn't match your mom's conception of how she would dress. She believes that you should share her feelings. When you don't it can cause her to confront issues involving her self-concept.

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[Meatball]

Instead of jumping to the conclusion that the parents are acting out of some negligent narcisistic intent, why not assume they simply want their daughter to be succesful one day ?
A parents job isnt to make their child " happy" or be their friend, but to prepare her for adulthood which includes marriage and a career. The parents are correct in pointing out that dressed like a man - their daughter is hindering her ability to get hired or be dated by men. I see it as one of simple practicality rather than a jump to negligence.
Its " In" today to let our kids be independent but you can do both, by letting her dress the way she wants AND letting her know there are consequences to her descision.

[Chet]

Tell your mom that you like kissing girls and that is how girlkissers dress. She'll definitely appreciate and respect that. :)

Oh, and Mortician, I'm sure all opinions are welcome here, but this is Horde King's Kingdom. So it wouldn't be wise to dispute his divine omniscience, nnnnnkay?

<img src= http://chet-young.8m.com/images/chet_young21.jpg>

This message was edited by Chet on 12-15-01 @ 12:48 AM

[RF Godfather]

people are egotistical and self conscious and want you to be a memeber of the herd. Im a member of the herd, but im happy here. If you have the guts to do your own thing f-what everyone else says. Gwen hit the nail on the perverbial head. For me I think it is so much easier to be a follower than to lead. I like laying back in the weeds with the other minions and the "crowd."

If you got to be original, more power to ya. Take no prisons cuz you are your own person.

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I am the One who reeks of "limited" rockedness! Yoink! Narc! Meow!

THE PROTOTYPE<marquee> RFW UNCROWNED UNDISPUTED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!</marquee>

[HordeKing1]

MORTICIAN - The dynamics are pretty clear and very commmon.

Narcisistic is not the same as negligent.

Dressing in traditional stereotypical female clothing does not make one successful. Nor does it interefere with dating. Your prejudicial attitudes and stereotypical masculine gender roles are showing.






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[Meatball]

"Narcisistic is not the same as negligent."

Didnt say they were the same - you did, infered in your tone that the parents narcisismn is part of the childs problem.

"Dressing in traditional stereotypical female clothing does not make one successful. Nor does it interefere with dating. Your prejudicial attitudes and stereotypical masculine gender roles are showing"

Ask any 10 men at random if they had a business and was interviewing for a open position and 2 identical female candidates with equal qualifications applied, except one was dressed like a man and one like a lady, who they would hire?...same question in a social situation - like it or not, you know the answer, what SHOULD be rarely has anything to do with reality.

If dressing like a man for a man and dressing like a woman for a woman is "prejudicial attitudes and stereotypical masculine gender roles " than i plead guilty as charged.

[HordeKing1]

You completely missed my point.

1. Whatever inference you drew that was not explicity stated is filtered through your social schema.

2. We are not talking about a child. We're talking about a teen.

3. It is the parent who has the problem. Nellie is happy with the clothes she chooses. It's ego syntonic to Nellie, ego dystonic to the mother.

4. Nellie didn't mention any job considerations in her post - you did.

5. Regarding dressing for work, you certainly seem to expect women to dress in certain stereotypical manners. Thats your gender bias talking. Fortunately women no longer have to wear the restrictive clothing they were forced to in the 19th and early 20th century. Historically, by the way, Churches were the biggest proponent AGAINST change - not surprising, religions are against pretty much any progressive social reform that empowers people. That's one of many reasons most feminists are either anti-organized religion in general or outright atheists or agnostics.

You wrote: "If dressing like a man for a man and dressing like a woman for a woman is "prejudicial attitudes and stereotypical masculine gender roles " than i plead guilty as charged."

Thank you, you made my case.

http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking2

[Zipgun]

Thanks HordeKing.

I was just gonna call him a chauvinist, but you put it so much better.

<img src=http://www.virtue.nu/atamichimpo/skidmarksig7.jpg width="300" height="100>

[Meatball]

Of course im referring to things not implicitly stated in her e-mail ( jobs, dating) ..she asked WHY?? and im telling her.

Some of you think me a chauvenist. This boils down to a parents responsibility to teach a child the TRUE ways of the world and not the fantasy world your living in. As an Employer in a large company for years, im telling you it WILL hurt her..alot. Thats what the parents need to tell her - the facts. In a perfect world things like dress wouldnt matter, but they do, they say alot about a person. So will a potential date. Now Nellie may chose to ignore these warnings and dress the way she wants..thats her choice, but nothing wrong with telling it like it is.

[HordeKing1]

Your gender bias and chavanism is clear in the assumptions you made.

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