"rules" vent

[chili]

Last Friday I met this chick at a bar. We swapped numbers, I called her the next day and left a message, and haven't heard back since. That's the condensed version. Judging the situation based solely on those facts I should be a rational human and move on, enjoy the memories of a cool evening talking to a really cool chick and use it to build on my self confidence for future endeavors.

But I'm not the most rational person. I never meet chicks at bars who I really mesh with on a personal level. I mean me and this chick talked about art and movies and music, about pot and shrooms and creativity. We really seemed to have a connection. Sure most of that was the moment and the alcohol and whatnot. I'm aware of that. But this was different than any other chance encounter I've had at a bar. I'm probably being naive here, though I usually prepare myself for the worst rather than assume everything is peachy.

I know the common practice is to drop it. I've given the requisite follow up phone call, heard no response. Move on, whatever. I guess what I'm asking is, should I go against my better judgment and try and call this girl again? Maybe in a situation where me and my friends are out and invite her and her friends so it's not as, I don't know, awkward?

I would appreciate any guidance I could get here.

edit: I'm pretty much strongly leaning towards dropping the whole issue and moving on.

[TooLowBrow]

i think it matters...
are you the guy who calls girls when they arent expecting it and they show up?

or are you the guy whos just gonna look foolish by calling?

[TheGameHHH]

its over, move on......and im not being a dick thats just the reality of the situation

[PapaBear]

I would NEVER call a third time without a response to the first two. Who knows... Maybe she can't call back right now. But if that's the case, she'll call when she can. You don't want to come off sounding desperate.

[IamPixie]

I say send her one more text message. if you don't hear anything after that, move on.

[TheGameHHH]

I say send her one more text message. if you don't hear anything after that, move on.

Pixie, just as a quick side note......is that Rihanna in your sig? cause shes probably the most beautiful woman walking the earth

[chili]

I would NEVER call a third time without a response to the first two. Who knows... Maybe she can't call back right now. But if that's the case, she'll call when she can. You don't want to come off sounding desperate.

To be clear I've only called once. But I guess theres not a lot of difference between calling once and no response and calling twice.

[PapaBear]

To be clear I've only called once. But I guess theres not a lot of difference between calling once and no response and calling twice.
I misread your post, I think. I see nothing wrong with a second call. Or like, Pixie said, a text.

[Tallman388]

You've made the effort and gotten nothing back for it, move on.
Have faith that you hit all the right notes at the bar, it'll happen again and maybe next time she'll return your call.

[IamPixie]

Pixie, just as a quick side note......is that Rihanna in your sig? cause shes probably the most beautiful woman walking the earth

yes it is- oh how I love her.

[OGC]

I would say give it one more try, either by calling or my text. Who cares if you come off as desperate. If she thinks you sound desperate, she won't call and you have lost nothing. If there was some kind of miscommunication and the first call didn't reach her, you give her another chance.

Go for it. You have nothing to lose.

Keep us informed.

[IamPixie]

I say text because it puts less pressure on her in the moment. If I got a phone call, even from a guy i was interested in, I would freak out and not answer because of anxiety. Send her a little text message relating to something you connected about when you met her. Remind her why you hit it off. No commitment. If you don't hear from her-she can go fuck herself.

[Team_Ramrod]

Don't text; If she is like Pixie and gets anxiety and doesn't answer you can leave her a voicemail.

A text is the easy way out.


At least that's how I look at it when guys I meet at the bar text me...

[Justice4all]

I say don't bother with either and just drop it. If she is interested she would call you by the weekend to make plans.
If not...sorry bro but it's a big sea with plenty of fish in it.

BUT...if you do HAVE to try back one more time, do what Pixie said, text her. It's kind of like a follow up email 'did you get my call'.
If nothing in 24 hours or more...then definately move on.

That's my $.02

[chili]

Thanks everyone. I think I'm just going to let it go.

[Furtherman]

Call one more time. Because even though a third call would seem foolish, you won't regret a second call. Oh about a love untold.

[LaBoob]

I hate unresloved situations like this... I would rather regret making one too many efforts to contact someone than wonder for a long time whether there was a chance at a connection, but because I played it too cool, I missed out on something that had potential.
Neither situation is a pleasant one to deal with, but that is the risk you run when you put yourself out there. What helps is knowing that this situation is as old as time, and you are far from the only person to experience it.