Things that ruin your weekend or summer

[sr71blackbird]

I have been pretty tapped out for a few months and really in need of money, so when they started opening up overtime where I work, I jumped on it. I have been getting like 4 hours a night and 8 hours on saturday for a few weeks and it seems like no end is in sight. The overtime is not the problem though. Its my family and other relationships that seem to be ruining my weekends and summer.
I was told by my mother yesterday that there are many parties coming up. Graduations and other get togethers. I have my nieces wedding in two weeks. Birthday parties and other stuff too, all over the next 10 weeks or so, and its driving me nuts and really pissing me off!
Like I said, I need the money and these parties are just another drain on my available money. Sure, the overtime is helping, but its starting to seem like I am sacrificing any free time I have to make other people happy. I basically blew up on my mother, lashing out at her for this and saying bad things. I feel really bad and wish there was a way around it, but I think I am going to have to be a dick and just not go to these functions. I wish I can get her to go along and understand and cover for me, but she acts like "you will miss your relatives when they are dead" or whatever.
Is it just me? As I drive around, I see people laughing and exercising and having a good time, and I am just working my ass off trying to make ends meet and I cant remember the last time I walked in a park or went to a beach or whatever. I wonder when is it my turn?
I feel like I never have time for fun or blow off steam or relax. Is anyone else in the same boat?
Are there things that ruin your weekends or the summer in general?

[JPMNICK]

just don't go to the parties, really no one cares. unless it is for your immediate brother or sister, or parents, you do not have to be there. it would be nice to be able to go to everything, but in the end no one cares or remembers. just do not make a big deal of it.

and instead of going to the party, use those days to do something for yourself, something that does not cost money, like going to a park or fishing or something. some of my most relaxing days are putting old R&F MP3's on my player and going to this small river and fishing for a few hours after dinner during the summer. i might stay 1.5 or 2 hours, usually catch nothing, but it is fun and relaxing. plus i get to hear pantera in studio which makes it all that much better

[Team_Ramrod]

Right now you are at a point in your life when this is necessary, sacrificing the income that you need in order to appease family isn't an option.... Fuck guilt, fuck feeling obligated. You're obligated to the grocery store to pay for the food you take, you're obligated to the utility company to pay for the lights you put on in your house.

We all go through times where it is necessary to sacrifice things we want, usually it's just for a short time to get us back on our feet. Keep going hard at what you are doing, don't worry about making everyone else happy, just take care of what you need to.


Family events are just a waste of time anyway... Make your money.

[sr71blackbird]

I know, but I wish my mom would be on my side and understand and kind of tell my aunts and uncles and cousins when she talks to them, so that I do not have to deal with it. I understand her point and how she loves me and wants me to enjoy my family while I have them, but I get these guilty feelings and thats almost as bad. I will only go to the weddings that I had committed to, but Id like her to help me out. I don't think I am asking much. Shes good at making me feel guilty!

[Sinestro]

What's so hard about your mom telling people that you couldn't make it to whatever function because you're working.

You have to tell your mother sometimes to F off, you're an adult now and have shit to do and take care of your own business when she tries to lay a gult trip on you.

[sr71blackbird]

What's so hard about your mom telling people that you couldn't make it to whatever function because you're working.

You have to tell your mother sometimes to F off, you're an adult now and have shit to do and take care of your own business when she tries to lay a gult trip on you.



I believe she thinks this will guilt me into going to the events so that she can see me more. as it is I see them on most Sundays and I suspect shes lonely and feeling let down and maybe she does not like explaining it to my aunts and uncles whenever she goes to these things without me..
I did kind of tell her to F off but not quite that harshly.
I think that the older generation also had an easier life than we do, They did not have as much work to do nor the same kinds of stress. Back then, a man working was enough to pay for a home and have a car and whatever, go on vacations etc, and not be in debt.
Now, you really need two full time incomes just to keep your head above poverty and this seems to be lost on the older generation.

[Foster]

The proper thing to do is appologize to whoever invited you yourself, about not being able to make it to the event(s). Explain that you have to work, but still send a card or something to the lucky couple or whoever.
Leave you Mom out of it....just inform her you won't be going to the festivities.

[led37zep]

I've missed faaaar too many events due to my work schedule and I was usually harder on myself than my friends and family.

Its hard to balance the two but I honestly believe the choices I made back then have allowed me to make enough money and climb the ladder enough where I'm now in a position to take time off and attend those weddings and graduations.

The whole point is your family may be bummed but they have to understand if you don't work you can't pay your bills.

[nukinfuts]

I think functions like weddings if they are for your niece or immediate family are something that you have to go to, however graduation parties and birthday parties are definately optional since these kids probably get a crap load of stuff from their parents and other people. Those kids could probably give a shit whether or not you are there they just want the gifts and cash. It sucks when you don't have time for yourself...and the stress will drive you nuts.

[sr71blackbird]

Today was really the first time I had a few hours to myself just to unwind in many many weeks. I am jealous of people that can just up and go on a trip somewhere. Id be happy to just have an afternoon where I could go for a walk on a nature trail and get some fresh air.

[Crispy123]

I hear you blackbird. I have been busting my ass working and my wif has lef me and my hose is about to get foreclosed. 08 is the summer of shit!

[Reephdweller]

SR71 may have a different viewpoint of things as far as I'm concerned with the way I handle family events. However I look at my free time as my time. It may seem selfish from my other family members perspectives but yet I know that events I've missed are forgotten and my family still loves me no matter what. I do what I want to do and what is in my best interest first and foremost.

For example, if I make plans to go to an event whether it is a board event or hanging out with friends or doing something with Amy in advance. I always get negative reactions later down the road if I can do this family thing or that during the same time. For example, back in April I booked us tickets to a Phillies game for June 21st, my sister asked me today if I was going to my nephews graduation that is on the same day. I am not going to be able to go to it and it will cause drama but it's done, I already bought the tickets and made reservations a long time ago. I'll get flack that I'm purposely avoiding family or whatever they want to say but I can't help it if I made these plans well in advance. Regardless of the hell I'll catch for it we're still going to go to the game I'm not wasting that money or blowing off what I want to do. I really don't get why that kind of thing isn't understood more but it's what it is.

[jauble]

Go to the family events....just remember these two words "drunk" and "nude". There will be zero pressure for you to show up next time.

[Sinestro]

For example, if I make plans to go to an event whether it is a board event or hanging out with friends or doing something with Amy in advance. I always get negative reactions later down the road if I can do this family thing or that during the same time. For example, back in April I booked us tickets to a Phillies game for June 21st, my sister asked me today if I was going to my nephews graduation that is on the same day. I am not going to be able to go to it and it will cause drama but it's done, I already bought the tickets and made reservations a long time ago. I'll get flack that I'm purposely avoiding family or whatever they want to say but I can't help it if I made these plans well in advance. Regardless of the hell I'll catch for it we're still going to go to the game I'm not wasting that money or blowing off what I want to do. I really don't get why that kind of thing isn't understood more but it's what it is.




You can go to a Phillies game anytime. Family is family. Your sister kid graduation only comes once. C'mon uncle Reef.

[JPMNICK]

You can go to a Phillies game anytime. Family is family. Your sister kid graduation only comes once. C'mon uncle Reef.

if she wants him there that bad, she will make it for another day. lets see how bad she REALLY wants him to be there. if she does not reschedule it, then in reality she does not give a shit. i doubt the kid who is graduating has a lot of other shit to do, so make it for the night before or the day after.

[RhinoinMN]

Floods.

[Sinestro]

if she wants him there that bad, she will make it for another day. lets see how bad she REALLY wants him to be there. if she does not reschedule it, then in reality she does not give a shit. i doubt the kid who is graduating has a lot of other shit to do, so make it for the night before or the day after.

How are you going to reschedule graduation??? If it's a graduation party fine, send a gift. if it's the ceremony, why not go. You could go to a phillies game anytime.

[AngelAmy]

How are you going to reschedule graduation??? If it's a graduation party fine, send a gift. if it's the ceremony, why not go. You could go to a phillies game anytime.

we already bought the tickets...I guess you like flushing money down the toilet but we dont.

That's all I am going to say about that so we don't go off topic.

[Reephdweller]

You can go to a Phillies game anytime. Family is family. Your sister kid graduation only comes once. C'mon uncle Reef.

That's easy enough to say if I hadn't already bought tickets and made reservations - but I did and it wasn't cheap so I'm not going to throw that money and all our plans away for that. Do I feel bad about it, sure I do and I spoke to my sister today about it. I want us to be there but it's just not possible.