Become an Illegal Alien today and save!!

[extracheese]

The following is an actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his
senator ...............................

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I
am writing to Ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of
Homeland Security in an Effort to determine the process for becoming an
illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted.

If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal
alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to
become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the
last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

[HBox]

It is my sincerest wish that this ass gets his wish granted.

[Friday]

Become and Illegal Alien

been there...done that. :smoke:

[epo]

An actual letter or an email forward that has been floating on the interwebz for the past couple of weeks? Or both?

Either way, I hope Senator Harkin takes him up on his offer.

[Meatball]

It is my sincerest wish that this ass gets his wish granted.

Your witty rejoinder ignores all the facts of the post. But what are facts, when our country is swirling head first down the toilet eh?

Why is he an ass? Because he wants the same rights as a citizen afforded our illegal brethren?

[HBox]

Your witty rejoinder ignores all the facts of the post. But what are facts, when our country is swirling head first down the toilet eh?

Why is he an ass? Because he wants the same rights as a citizen afforded our illegal brethren?

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

You still have to pay SS taxes. And you will never be able to collect on them. So if you think never retiring and being subject to deportation every single day is paradise, I'm not gonna stop you.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year.

Spoken like someone who has never stepped foot in an emergency room. But hey, if you want that quality of care you are welcome to it! I'm gonna let you in on a little secret buddy: emergency rooms have to treat EVERYBODY who shows up, not just illegal immigrants. That's just a dirty lie the liberal media is feeding you to try and deprive you of the top notch care provided in ERs across the country! ANYONE can get free care out of the emergency room! So go! NOW!

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
States for my son.

Now he has a point here. I'm damned tired of illegal immigrants flooding our colleges and law schools. With all the hundreds of thousands of dollars these damn illegals are raking in they can easily afford college! It's not like they are toiling away for 80+ hours a week for pittance wages so they can barely feed their family. NO!

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

AGAIN! Liberal media lies! ANYONE can drive without a license and insurance. And ask anybody who has driven without a license and insurance and they will tell you tales of a stress free drive into PARADISE.

[foodcourtdruide]

The following is an actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his
senator ...............................

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I
am writing to Ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of
Homeland Security in an Effort to determine the process for becoming an
illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted.

If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal
alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to
become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the
last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

I think it's hilarious that people complain about treating illegal immigrants in emergency rooms. Please think for two seconds. What would the alternative be? Do you REALLY want to live in a country where human beings are dying and we deny them medical treatment? In their world, every now and then you'll see a person dying on the ground and ask, "hey why don't we help that person?" and your answer will be "because they're illegal, let them die".

Also, exactly how much income tax (the idea that they don't pay taxes is incorrect. Illegal aliens pay sales tax) do you think an illegal person would be forced to pay? Do you think they're not claiming millions of dollars each? Most of them make very little and would contribute very little.

Also, regarding the costs of citizenship, I think it's funny he doesn't mention filing fees or lawyers fees associated with gaining citizenship. Also, if the cost of citizenship was SO high, doesn't he realize NO ONE would try to gain it? Thus, perpetuating the problem of having illegal aliens?

And as HBOX correctly mentioned, the anxiety of being deported and the inability to travel freely outside the country is very difficult.

I'm not saying we should welcome-in millions of illegals a year or that there isn't an issue with illegal immigration in this country, but the notion that illegal immigrants have it easier than ordinary citizens is fucking retarded. It's incredibly stupid and it's the rights version of false outrage.

[Death Metal Moe]

Although he doesn't have all his facts straight, I can understand his frustration.

As someone who has seen a family member wait for a decade to get into the country legally and seen the amount of money it take while some filthy animal walks over the border and now politicians want to get them rights, I am in tune with his anger.

[RoseBlood]

I work for Long Island Family Care which is a state funded out-patient program for the psychiatrically and/or physically challenged. Many of the patients that are taken in have long histories of schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder.

Out of 210 patients 20 of them are undocumented. There is an allocated budget set aside specifically for the indigent. We are currently at full capacity with the number of illegals the program can handle, yet every day we get community and on-site referrals for illegals to come into the program. Most of the on-site referrals come from crisis-residence which is suppose to be emergency, temporary housing, however many (some illegals) have been living there for nearly a year. I dont know all the laws and the budgets but I do see how much money some of the undocumented have drained from the program.

I thought I was of the mindset all humans in a country as wealthy as ours should have basic human rights. In my heart I still believe that, however I understand the frustrations American Citizens feel towards the illegal aliens, cause sometimes I feel it too.

It's difficult to see family and friends who have worked hard every day of their lives, who have made an honest living struggle financially only to see their taxes go up and their rights seemingly slip away. How do you tell someone who contributes to society in every way that they can't get health care cause the company that employees them can no longer afford it.

I can sympathize with most Americans who find themselves in this predicament and then turn around and hear about the undocumented in our program who rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars in hospital bills, which they will never have to pay for, live rent and tax free, get all their Rx meds free, as they are paid through the state, to hear/see this is quite frustrating.

Yet given all these facts, I still say we taxpaying, legal citizens are better off. Anytime I think these people are getting a "free ride", I remind myself that they are severely ill individuals with no one to take care of them and very little hope that they will ever be able to care for themselves. I don't have the answers but I do know I wouldn't want to live in a world where these people would have no place to turn and be left to their own devices to roam the streets.

[RoseBlood]

Oh and P.S... anyone know the zoning laws in North Babylon cause I might have been bit by an "undocumented" GOAT!!!

[TheMojoPin]

Although he doesn't have all his facts straight, I can understand his frustration.

As someone who has seen a family member wait for a decade to get into the country legally and seen the amount of money it take while some filthy animal walks over the border and now politicians want to get them rights, I am in tune with his anger.

It probably cost most of those "filthy animals" more (or at least relatively) to cross the border.

[Sue_Bender]

It probably cost those "filthy animals" more to cross the border.

They're people.

Like you're supposed to be.

[KnoxHarrington]

Why do I get the feeling the ass who wrote this letter will be the first to bitch when, say, the cost of produce skyrockets?

Illegal immigration is a fake issue pushed by douchebag politicians to keep dumbasses angry.

[PapaBear]

It probably cost most of those "filthy animals" more (or at least relatively) to cross the border.

They're people.

Like you're supposed to be.
I'm pretty sure that was "sarcasm".

[topless_mike]

I can understand his frustration.


I can as well.

being married to an immigrant, i can tell you that its not the american people that should be pissed off.. its the immigrants that came here legally.

my wife and her family had to move to berlin then to rome in order to arrive here (from communist romainia) back in 87. all their paperwork was done, and they became citizens shortly thereafter and now are living the american dream. they have friends that came here on a work visa with no intentions of ever leaving, and when their visa ran out, they just acted like nothing happened. THAT should piss you off.

i can never ever hate somebody for coming here to make their lives better. the usa is a beautiful country that offers opportunities not available in many other countries. but if you are going to do it, follow the rules. thats all i ask.

[drjoek]

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[Yerdaddy]

Who needs to be an illegal alien when Obama's already promised to make me into a welfare queen?

[A.J.]

Who needs to be an illegal alien when Obama's already promised to make me into a welfare queen?

You'd live like a King over there on welfare money.

[ralphbxny]

It probably cost most of those "filthy animals" more (or at least relatively) to cross the border.

They're people.

Like you're supposed to be.

(Eagerly awaiting Mojo's Response)

[epo]

Why do I get the feeling the ass who wrote this letter will be the first to bitch when, say, the cost of produce skyrockets?

Illegal immigration is a fake issue pushed by douchebag politicians to keep dumbasses angry.

Illegal Immigration in 2008 = Gay Marriage in 2004.

Neither matters, but both rile up the right people.

[K.C.]

As an illegal Irish immigrant who rode in on a Sea Doo jet ski from a freighter parked off the East Coast, in international waters, to enter this country...

...let me just tell you, this is THE life! No need to drive without a license...my welfare check which I receive illegally from the government provides me with enough to take limos everywhere.

And you saps who pay for this so-called 'medical insurance'...if I step on a rusty nail, I just sit in the ER and bleed out for about eight hours and BOOM...free medical care!

The only concern I have is impregnating women who won't have abortions. If one of them pops out a kid, that could put my illegal status in danger...and once you've lived a tax free lifestyle, and ALL it's perks...you can't go back.

So I always carry mr. clotheshanger just in case.