Father's Day

[TeeBone]

A simple question-------What was the best piece of advice your Father gave you?



Happy father's day to all the Fathers out there.
(both of you)

[lleeder]

Leave it on the ass or face.

[Hottub]

Stay golden.

[Mike Teacher]

Dont do that.

[RhinoinMN]

Leave it on the ass or face.

No tits?

You were deprived.

[Mike Teacher]

Oh, and...

Never, ever put anything in writing that you wouldnt want to see on the front page of next days paper. Holy shit has that served me well.

[lleeder]

No tits?

You were deprived.

Not degrading enough.

[RhinoinMN]

Don't tell your mother.

[ahhdurr]

never argue with:

a drunk
a crazy person
a man with a gun
a woman

He told me those are the (unofficial) NYPD guidelines.

[lleeder]

never argue with:

a drunk
a crazy person
a man with a gun
a woman

He told me those are the (unofficial) NYPD guidelines.

3 out of 4 of those represent O&A listeners.

[TeeBone]

Thanks to all the 'Fathers of Comedy' for their posts.

[Hottub]

Take 2, then bunt
Measure twice, cut once
Wear an undershirt
Check your oil
Goddam it! I said don't do that!

[KC2OSO]

Take 2, then bunt
Measure twice, cut once
Wear an undershirt
Check your oil
Goddam it! I said don't do that!

Nice.

I got "Cut the line, lose the design."
I also got "Don't trust anyone who doesn't wear an undershirt."

I also got:
Don’t get a tattoo, they’ll be able to find you.
Don't take any woolen knickers.
Don't lie, you're no good at it.
and a bunch of other stuff.

I try to be as good a dad as he was. He was a strange and wonderful man.

I lose my shit now and then and holler when I find my tools in the woods like he did. I don't spend as much time as I'd like to with my son, like he did. I see my son heading in directions and doing things that scare me, like he did. When I think back on some of the stupid shit that I did as a kid...man.

One thing I've improved upon as a dad is ass-beatings. First off, my wife won't have it. Second, I'm not sure it does that much. I used to get them pretty frequently. I've whacked my son on the ass three or four times in ten years.

Meh, being a good dad is hard as hell sometimes. I mess up from time to time, like he did. I just hope my kids think back someday on their dad as fondly as I look back on mine.

Thanks dad! (http://www.njmikec.com/images/Acker Bilk - Strangers On The Shore.mp3)

[BoondockSaint]

This year marks the 38th year of a Father's Day tradition between my father and his neighbor. 38 years ago my father's neighbor, as a father's day gift, hung a full can of Schaefer Beer from the doorknob on the back door of my father's house. My father kept it and the next year taped a "Happy Father's Day" note to it and hung it on his back door. And this year the tradition continues on, with the same can, on the same string, and 37 pieces of paper taped to it.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f245/jfm75/HPIM0605.jpg

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f245/jfm75/HPIM0604.jpg

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f245/jfm75/HPIM0607.jpg

[MadMatt]

This year marks the 38th year of a Father's Day tradition between my father and his neighbor. 38 years ago my father's neighbor, as a father's day gift, hung a full can of Schaefer Beer from the doorknob on the back door of my father's house. My father kept it and the next year taped a "Happy Father's Day" note to it and hung it on his back door. And this year the tradition continues on, with the same can, on the same string, and 37 pieces of paper taped to it.

Well, even after 37 years the beer can't taste any worse... :lol:

[badorties]

i didn't have much of a relationship with my dad, and when he would showed up we'd talk about mattingly, winfield and if the 80's yankee would ever win

the only real converstion/advice he ever gave ... when i was thirteen, he showed up for my sister's communion, and we had a little talk away from the family ... just shooting the shit, and i mentioned that i started listening to stern -- his response was that if i was listening to stern at 13, there'd be no need to talk about the birds and the bees

on a much bettter note, this will be my first ever father's day with my five month old son, and i expect it to be a real kick ass kind of day

[Bellyfullasnot]

My dad passed away 11 years ago and I miss him as much today as I did when he died.

The one piece of advice/ words of wisdom that I remember him always telling us was: "Expect the unexpected."

Happy Father's Day!

[A.J.]

A simple question-------What was the best piece of advice your Father gave you?

"It's always someone's daughter."

[Gvac]

A simple question-------What was the best piece of advice your Father gave you?

"Always be honest - you'll never have to worry about being caught in a lie."

and

"You speak to a man once; a jackass twice."

[djjd]

never argue with:

a drunk
a crazy person
a man with a gun
a woman

He told me those are the (unofficial) NYPD guidelines.

3 out of 4 of those represent O&A listeners.

listener's, hell 3 out of those 4 are anthony

[marky2bucks]

boys will make mistakes, men learn from them

[JerryTaker]

My father always taught me that my presence was a burden to those around me. I didn't deserve anything, and I wasn't good enough as a person.

I carry those lessons around with me to this day.

[Phil_Nubbs]

My father abandoned me...then he died.

Terrific!

[razorboy]

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c297/razorboy_/dec19th2007130.jpg


My Dad told me to keep a look out for assholes. Love you pops.

[Reynolds]

My father abandoned me...then he died.

Terrific!

The only way to get back at him is to do the same exact thing to your own children.

[Reynolds]

If you want to watch a heartwarming story about fathers to share with your father or son, check out the season finale of This American Life on Showtime OnDemand. Episode 12 John Smith

[PopPop]

Stand still and take your beating. If you run it will only be worse. Only by example mind you, drinking massive amounts of alcohol everyday will end up being bad for you. I do miss him. He left us December 7th 2007. Happy Father's day Pop.

[spankyfrank]

Don't get married.

[DiabloSammich]

Check your mirrors.


He could have been talking about driving, or coke. I haven't figured out yet.

[drjoek]

A simple question-------What was the best piece of advice your Father gave you?







Don't make me turn this car around, because I will you better know that.

[Freakshow]

Don't get caught.

[Ritalin]

My Dad once told me "you are who you are", and he didn't mean it in a bad way at all.

Stuck with me.

[SlicedAlone]

Throw the first punch. Just make sure you do it from behind so she doesn't know who did it.

[paracetamol flanders]

Get out of my life forever.

[TeeBone]

Don't make me turn this car around, because I will you better know that.

Before our battle of wits begins, please allow me the chance to have my brain removed so you and I can start even.
This thread isn't about you. Its about advice your Father gave you.