My social life has taken a turn for the worse

[keithy_19]

I'm 20 years old and I don't do much. I love going out to places and I enjoy random stupid things, but I just don't have many people to do it with. Since I graduated high school my friends have dwindled down to few and far between. I know that a lot of the time friends from high school don't stay friends after high school, but it just made me think that maybe I didn't have many friends at all when I was in high school.I got along with everyone and had everyone liked me as a person, from what I know of anyway, but I guess it never really was friendship and more of just some aquaintnence shit.

Everyone is back from college and I just feel like they're all out having a blast and it's me and the one or two people who I'm close with doing nothing and wasting the "best years" of our lives.

The girl I'm dating was at a party tonight with a bunch of her friends and she just called me. She sounded like she was having a blast and said she'd meet up with me right after she smoked.

That made me incredibly lonely. Not because the girl I'm seeing is at a party and I'm not with her, but the fact I don't have anyone to party with. There's no one to drink with, so if I want to drink I usually have to do it alone which defeats the purpose of drinking and having a good time. So I stay away from that. Same goes for smoking. I don't feel like smoking a joint if it's just gonna be me mellowing it. Once in a blue moon is ok, but I'd rather be with people having a good time.

I just look at where I am right now, and it sucks. I can't get a job (and I'm trying), I hate college, and I don't know how to just go and make new friends.

[britneypablo]

the high school thing dont worry about...i thought the same thing at one point but then i myspaced some of my old friends and half of them are single parents now and smell like dirty spoiled mangos im sure of it....but anyways

its hard to make new friends when u dont have money to do anything which im guessing u dont because u dont have a job....i know the feeling of that because i dont have one either...

why didnt u go party with this chick is my first question...or is it like ur just kinda seeing her but shes not ur girlfriend im confused on that one first off

but places to meet people: my favorite place is the gym....theres always people there looking to meet other people and make new friends...and they are the same people who like to go out and party so ull meet those types too....if u dont need to drink to have a good time be a DD and people will pay ur way into things...

im sure i can say more but ill wait till someone bashes my idea ;)

[LaBoob]

I think everyone goes through this to an extent...
Maybe you should enjoy what you have and work to maintain the relationships you have right now, and work on the relationships you want to be stronger. High school friends aren't always real friends and it's true that those friendships seldom last. It's no big loss (in the long run) because you'll make new friends throughout your life.

You should think about making more of an effort to make new friends. You're in college... the easiest place to meet people. Join a club or go to events and put yourself out there... it's awkward and a little embarrassing, but it's a learning experience... you need to learn to be more social. I talk from experience... you don't want to look back at your college years and realize you wasted opportunities to make lasting connections.

And really, that's what it's all about... you don't have to hunt for a new bff, just try to establish connections with people. Eventually a friendship will develop.

When I was your age I did a ton of stuff by myself and when I look back at those days I miss that. Now it seems the only time I go out and have fun is if someone asks me to do something. I'd like to get back to enjoying things on my own again. It seemed more fulfilling. But then... the whole time back then I was wishing I had a huge group of friends to surround myself with.

[grlNIN]

I was never into the party scene. I went to board functions when i was in High School and would get balls wasted but once i turned 21 i pretty much just stayed home and drank (aside from holiday parties and random summer last minute things).

Now that i am focusing on school with all of my energy i never go out, i communicate with friends solely through AIM and Myspace. I don't go to bars, hardly drink but if i do it is done at home.

The only social aspect of drinking that has changed from my being 20-21 to 23 is that instead of drinking at home alone, i drink at home with my boyfriend and even that is seldom.

You are too uptight, kid but i'm not going into the whole do this do that dont think this do think that speech because you won't listen. You know how i know? In 1-2 months you will post a thread with the same exact formula, to a T.

Your life is not dramatically different from anyone else's at 20 (sans your disability) so you need to stop draining your energy and brainpower to come up with ways of how lonely you are, how shitty your relationships are, how great this girl you have been seeing is, how you want to do drugs, etc.

I understand the board is a place for advice, suggestions and quirky commentary on life in general but sometimes life is just life and you need to stop getting so goddamn hung-up over it and start learning and living it.

[MobCounty]

I'm 20 years old and I don't do much. I love going out to places and I enjoy random stupid things, but I just don't have many people to do it with. Since I graduated high school my friends have dwindled down to few and far between. I know that a lot of the time friends from high school don't stay friends after high school, but it just made me think that maybe I didn't have many friends at all when I was in high school.I got along with everyone and had everyone liked me as a person, from what I know of anyway, but I guess it never really was friendship and more of just some aquaintnence shit.

Everyone is back from college and I just feel like they're all out having a blast and it's me and the one or two people who I'm close with doing nothing and wasting the "best years" of our lives.

The girl I'm dating was at a party tonight with a bunch of her friends and she just called me. She sounded like she was having a blast and said she'd meet up with me right after she smoked.

That made me incredibly lonely. Not because the girl I'm seeing is at a party and I'm not with her, but the fact I don't have anyone to party with. There's no one to drink with, so if I want to drink I usually have to do it alone which defeats the purpose of drinking and having a good time. So I stay away from that. Same goes for smoking. I don't feel like smoking a joint if it's just gonna be me mellowing it. Once in a blue moon is ok, but I'd rather be with people having a good time.

I just look at where I am right now, and it sucks. I can't get a job (and I'm trying), I hate college, and I don't know how to just go and make new friends.

I feel that brutha.. I was sad a good long time. I say, road trip my brutha. Can you scratch together a couple hundred bucks, one friend and a car with good MPG? Leave all that shit behind for a couple weeks, just camp and do shit on the cheap. Go to small towns, hang out during the day, and party at night, be the big traveling man on campus for a while.

Your 20, you can absolutely dump every piece of shit object, person or plan in your life and start the fuck over if you wish.

Do yourself a favor, do not settle for anything at this point...
Do yourself an even bigger favor and invest in yourself. Nobody else will. Do what it takes to get a clear head and get on track for the future. If that means questioning a lot of the baggage, then by all means do so.

Cheers, bruddah,
MC

[One Dead Fred]

When I was around 20, I was in a pretty similar situation as you. I moved to a place I thought I'd have more opportunity. If you are broke where you are at, why not be broke in a more stimulating place? Just a thought.

[keithy_19]

When I was around 20, I was in a pretty similar situation as you. I moved to a place I thought I'd have more opportunity. If you are broke where you are at, why not be broke in a more stimulating place? Just a thought.

You need money to move...

And, it's not that I'm unhappy with the surroundings. I have some great things going on for me. I have a family that I love and who loves me, I'm with a girl who is awesome, I just feel like maybe I should be doing more.

[JPMNICK]

You need money to move...

And, it's not that I'm unhappy with the surroundings. I have some great things going on for me. I have a family that I love and who loves me, I'm with a girl who is awesome, I just feel like maybe I should be doing more.

dude you live in NYC area, get on a train and go to the city. there is tons of cool shit to do there for free, or on the cheap.

get on facebook connect with some old friends and just invite youself along. no one is going to go out of there way to make sure you are entertained on a friday night, but just call some one and as what is going on. they will let you know where they are going to be and go there to hang.

and when you get there do not be a douche. dont be a drag by talking about exes or anything, just go with the flow and enjoy, do not try to hard

[patsopinion]

is it strange that keith's problems are one of my favorite parts of this board

and this dude never seems to post on hot chick or post pergatory
its always a fucking life and death struggle for him

[keithy_19]

dude you live in NYC area, get on a train and go to the city. there is tons of cool shit to do there for free, or on the cheap.

That is true. I've been meaning to go check out the Joe Strummer mural.

get on facebook connect with some old friends and just invite youself along. no one is going to go out of there way to make sure you are entertained on a friday night, but just call some one and as what is going on. they will let you know where they are going to be and go there to hang.

I should make myself more available. I'm a very social guy. If I'm at a party I'm not a wallflower. I guess it's the whole getting there thing. I don't like inviting myself places. I don't want to come off as being that guy who goes to the parties but wasn't really invited. Not that people will really care if I show up.

and when you get there do not be a douche. dont be a drag by talking about exes or anything, just go with the flow and enjoy, do not try to hard

I don't. I'm a fun person to be around. I think so anyway. I'm energetic and make people laugh.

The problem is getting myself to those situations.

[keithy_19]

is it strange that keith's problems are one of my favorite parts of this board

and this dude never seems to post on hot chick or post pergatory
its always a fucking life and death struggle for him

I've also psoted in the various NHL threads. I think the Devils losing made me into a hermit...

[SatCam]

Hey dude I am an introvert, but the one thing I stay away from is drinking and smoking (alone especially........) Also having a job helps a ton, not only money, but people to talk to and to befriend, and just feeling productive in general.

[Clement Clemens]

Don't take any wooden nickels.

[JackBurton Says]

Wish i had advice for ya. I was in the Marines when i was 20. Living in NC and occasionally going to Japan it was one of the best times in my life. I'd suggest joining buuuuuuut yeah I was in before this whole mess now sooooooooo.......:down:

[lleeder]

Is it against this forums rules to say your girlfriend is probably sucking multiple ethnics cocks an you are queer pussyboy?

[Bossanova]

Is it against this forums rules to say your girlfriend is probably sucking multiple ethnics cocks an you are queer pussyboy?

Im not sure, but I know it hates this reaction to your post.

(Pointing at Keithy) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH


Dude, just turn gay already

[Sue_Bender]

Is it against this forums rules to say your girlfriend is probably sucking multiple ethnics cocks an you are queer pussyboy?

Holy Fuck, you're fantastic!

[ahhdurr]

Your 20, you can absolutely dump every piece of shit object, person or plan in your life and start the fuck over if you wish.


MC

Praise Jyeeeesus!!

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I've never ever liked going to a single party, especially the frat variety. Hell, I'm uncomfortable at bars initially. The only reason you go and do these things is to meet people and talk to 'em, or hang out with people you already know. Also, it's good to just leave the house if you are able.

I live next to a train that goes straight to Hoboken so if I wanted to, I could legally get blitzed every single night. I don't, mainly cuz I hate drinking except when I'm doing it with friends. Even then, it's hit or miss. I just recently had to drive my best friend's drunk ass home while having to fight with him to get him to not hop in his truck. It wasn't exactly fun.

So don't think you're missing out on going to those parties insofar as you think everyone is having this incredible life experience that you're missing out on. You should go to parties with your chick, and just be yourself. If you have a beer or two then, fine, but only if you feel like it.

Bottom line. Simplify your objective, simplify your thoughts, at least in the context of where you are. I used to sit around and feel similar things at your age, and someday you'll just look back and laugh at how pointless it is to agonize over paranoid imagination. I don't tihnk you'll listen to anyone who says anything here mainly cuz like you, I wouldn't take anyone's good advice for a long time.

Go and volunteer at an animal shelter or help out a blood drive if you can't find a job. Keep yaself busy.

[Sinestro]

You're in college (at least I think you are.). There's so many people to meet and shit. I wish I was in college again. I met so many people and I never was a socialite or anything. Stop thinking too much and let yourself be, that seems to be one of your problems.

If your not in school, you're still young to go out and meet people, you just have to have confidence in yourself. And if you feel uncomfortable going out alone, fuck that shit. Cool people go out alone and others gravitate towards them. That's you. Get to it.

[KingGeno]

Might as well take advantage of your YOU time, and improve yourself. It is obvious there is something mentally holding you back from not caring and just enjoying life. I have these problems sometimes, and almost everyone does. Unless you are rich, then you can normally buy a fix.

Join a gym, become a brick shithouse. Get a new job. Pick up a new hobby, like an Ebay seller or something. Travel more. The more and more you just sit around, the deeper that a cavern can get.

Happened to me after I broke up with my fiancee about 6 years ago. Got real heavy into the MMORPG world, gained tons of weight, and hated everyone just cu I hated myself. It isn't healthy, I wasted a lot of my life, but I realize that now and improved it.

And your 20! You are in the development time of yoru life. You'll start to move into certain habits, dump certain habits, add/remove friends, balance everything around you. Only you can improve it though. As long as you don't give a fuck, just enjoy your life.

[El Mudo]

Point one: Youre 20 years old

Point two: If these are the "best years" of your life, then whats going to happen the other 50 or so odd years on this planet? I HATE when people say your 20s in general or your early 20s are the best years of your life

You got a ton of time left bro...you'll find your niche. Find other people with similar interests. Join an adult kickball league. Join a book reading club or find other hobbies to express yourself with