What Shades of Shit Alarm You?

[Sue_Bender]

I've heard of the term "Cancer Shits" and the like.

Sometimes I'm quite taken aback in the color and consistency of my backward output.

"Fish flakes", "Baby Shrimp", "Greasy Bits", "Pickle Juice", "Wet Sand", "Mud Water"...

What are the strangest shits (dangerous or otherwise) you've passed and lived to tell about?

[Bob Impact]

Does this thread have a color?

[Sue_Bender]

Does this thread have a color?

Yes...

Thanks to you!

[Bob Impact]

Yes...

Thanks to you!

Good, then Sienna is the color of shit that alarms me.

[Vodka Mule]

The real bitches brew may be a consistency of salt water taffy and marble meringue.

As Procol Harem said, its a whiter shade of pale that manifests your worst fears.

[Sue_Bender]

Good, then Sienna is the color of shit that alarms me.

You have no imagination, Budday.

[Bob Impact]

You have no imagination, Budday.

True, I'm cranky for no good reason tonight. I'll say red. Red shit is probably really bad.

[Vodka Mule]

True, I'm cranky for no good reason tonight. I'll say red. Red shit is probably really bad.

No, Red Sonja is really bad..

Your crankiness is unacceptable.

[DiabloSammich]

It's like my grandfather always said, "If it's brown, flush it down, if it's yellow, let it mellow."




Of course, I think he was referring to the Civil Rights Movement. Grandpa was a little wacky.

[Bob Impact]

No, Red Sonja is really bad..

Your crankiness is unacceptable.

Eat my ass, champ.

Edit: and yes, I'm kidding.

[Vodka Mule]

Eat my ass, champ.

Edit: and yes, I'm kidding.

Well, I don't kid around..

If ass is your niche, i can certainly make you cringe.

edit: Not Kidding!

[Bob Impact]

Well, I don't kid around..

If ass is your niche, i can certainly make you cringe.

edit: Not Kidding!

Sexy talker Betty Crocker.

[Vodka Mule]

It's like my grandfather always said, "If it's brown, flush it down, if it's yellow, let it mellow."




Of course, I think he was referring to the Civil Rights Movement. Grandpa was a little wacky.
Diablo,

My grandfather once said, "If it's brown, kick it away from your drinking fountain".

[Sue_Bender]

Diablo,

My grandfather once said, "If it's brown, kick it away from your drinking fountain".

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::drunk::drunk:: drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::d runk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::drunk::clap::cla p::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::c lap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::cla p::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::thumbup::th umbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup ::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thu mbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


:nono:









Racist.

[Vodka Mule]

Sexy talker Betty Crocker.

I didn't know Betty Crocker had a recipe for chicken al a cunt.

Sexy....

P.S.
Not much of a talker

[Clement Clemens]

What do the faces mean?


I'm pretty regular. Does it matter?

[Sue_Bender]

What do the faces mean?


I'm pretty regular. Does it matter?

No. Move to a friendly thread, brother.

People are gross 'round here.

[LaBoob]

Diesel fried sausage.

And one time a whole apple came out... is that cause for alarm?

[FUNKMAN]

not alarmed by color, only texture... depends on how it feels when I'm squeezing it

mostly alarmed when it's like water for too long

one thing regarding color: when you lay a big log and part of it extends out of the water. the part in the water is dark and the part out is lighter... looks two-toned

[britneypablo]

on time my shit was RED like BLOOD RED and i started freakin out...i thought i was gonna die, then i remembered i had taken a few hydroxycut hard-core which are capsules with blood red liquid in them....ever since then ive warned anyone who i sold that stuff to that they do not have bloody shit, its just the pill....

grapefruit shit is my fav..the little pieces stay whole....if u can eat grapefruit, peanuts, and corn all in one sitting, i recommend it for the most tuti-fruiti shit event

[Tall_James]

What Shades of Shit Alarm You?

Any shit on my shades would alarm me and cause me to fire my cleaning crew.

That or I would have to give up my feces-flinging rhesus monkey "Chim-Chim".

[reillyluck]

It's not the color that worries me, its how many times you go and when they wake u up out of a sound sleep.

Try eating two fiber one bars and tell me how you feel.

[britneypablo]

those fiber one bars give me bad gas....makes me walk around sounding like im stepping on a family of frogs...(not like i dont fart and pick my nose in public so its not to much of a problem)
but they def do taste better then my psyilum husks which taste like wet chalk

i forgot to mention some really good shit...get some Sonne's #7 which is actually a bentonite clay formulation and mix it with some fiber powder of ur choice, do it on an empty stomach twice a day for like 2 weeks....
just about the best cleanse u can do....u will see stuff come out of u, u didnt know exsisted...

as bad an nasty as it tastes....if ur ever worried about colon cancer, this is a great method to clean yourself to help prevent getting colon cancer..
they say the man that lived the longest in the olden days had the cleanest colons...

[LaBoob]

those fiber one bars give me bad gas....makes me walk around sounding like im stepping on a family of frogs...(not like i dont fart and pick my nose in public so its not to much of a problem)
but they def do taste better then my psyilum husks which taste like wet chalk

i forgot to mention some really good shit...get some Sonne's #7 which is actually a bentonite clay formulation and mix it with some fiber powder of ur choice, do it on an empty stomach twice a day for like 2 weeks....
just about the best cleanse u can do....u will see stuff come out of u, u didnt know exsisted...

as bad an nasty as it tastes....if ur ever worried about colon cancer, this is a great method to clean yourself to help prevent getting colon cancer..
they say the man that lived the longest in the olden days had the cleanest colons...

Do you work in a health food store?

[FUNKMAN]

can make your poo look blue... purple doesn't rhyme

http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/specials/sprig/img/products/DB_welchs.jpg

[britneypablo]

LaBoob: i kinda still do work in one, i just dont go to work anymore...kinda of a weird thing...its like my boss text messages me every other day asking me when i wanna work and i just say not yet....
i worked/work in the Vitamin Shoppe and before that i worked at a gym....so im into the whole health stuff (not that i eat healthy bc im a carb queen) but i KNOW alot....most of my friends are bodybuilders (even the girls) and so ive just learned a lot about different supplements on that end and ive learned alot for old people because they are the best vitamin customers...

im into pretty hardcore though, i dont take any prescribed type medicines (unless i was about to die or something but i dont take anything for pain, headaches, colds, etc.) but i always like to help people decide what they can take to really help them and their ailments because there is nothing more rewarding then when someone comes in crying saying their doctor wont test them for parasites and in fact thinks they need mental help at this point they will try anything to stop the pain they are going through....so i love researching it and giving them something that can really help...and the rewarding part is when they come back and tell u that u changed their life for one reason or another...parasite is just my favorite one that came in...but of course u have the weight loss people, the arthritis people, ....i wont go on and on about it bc i like to keep my bad-ass-girl image but if u or anyone else u know wants help deciding which things work and which dont, and what is good and bad about a supplement, id be happy to give u my research and do any research that u might need :) (that was a long 'serious' statement there so sorry for any typos!)

[LaBoob]

LaBoob: i kinda still do work in one, i just dont go to work anymore...kinda of a weird thing...its like my boss text messages me every other day asking me when i wanna work and i just say not yet....
i worked/work in the Vitamin Shoppe and before that i worked at a gym....so im into the whole health stuff (not that i eat healthy bc im a carb queen) but i KNOW alot....most of my friends are bodybuilders (even the girls) and so ive just learned a lot about different supplements on that end and ive learned alot for old people because they are the best vitamin customers...

im into pretty hardcore though, i dont take any prescribed type medicines (unless i was about to die or something but i dont take anything for pain, headaches, colds, etc.) but i always like to help people decide what they can take to really help them and their ailments because there is nothing more rewarding then when someone comes in crying saying their doctor wont test them for parasites and in fact thinks they need mental help at this point they will try anything to stop the pain they are going through....so i love researching it and giving them something that can really help...and the rewarding part is when they come back and tell u that u changed their life for one reason or another...parasite is just my favorite one that came in...but of course u have the weight loss people, the arthritis people, ....i wont go on and on about it bc i like to keep my bad-ass-girl image but if u or anyone else u know wants help deciding which things work and which dont, and what is good and bad about a supplement, id be happy to give u my research and do any research that u might need :) (that was a long 'serious' statement there so sorry for any typos!)

I've been in the industry myself for 11 years so I was just picking up the fellow health/vitamin nut signs.

I was a sales rep for a vitamin manufacturer/distributor but they laid me off so I'm considering going outside the industry (:down:). A lot of my former customers want me to work for them because they know how valuable it is for someone to have experience, but I'm not sure if they can pay me enough. I might have to work in two at the same time. Meh.

Parasites are scary things... it's estimated that 85% of Americans suffer from them but those chances increase if you have pets. Natural Balance makes a pretty good cleanse. Usually just seeing the pictures the internet has to offer is enough to scare people into taking it.

[britneypablo]

i have a girl crush on u laboob

so now that i put that out there...

i agree with u on the money not being right...it seems like with everyone "going green" and getting into organics and whatnot that there would be a lot of money in this kind of work but i dunno what really goin on in that...

what i hate is the doctors we have these days....it seems like half of them are getting kick back from prescription companies and push drugs on patients that do not necessarily meet their needs the best just because of that sub conscience thing where they know they get a kickback...i know that description is a little incoherent but im sure u know what im getting at

that why i love supplements bc i feel like the people who are actually into it really love to help others learn about it and in my case i really wanna sell a person what i think will help them the most....im not like an expert or anything but ive tried like everything bc of free samples...ive even rubbed nitrous creme on my face to see what happens...(painful dont try it) and ive talked to people who swear by certain things that work for them and as it turns out, they usually work for others as well...

im still a little unversed on homeopathic stuff but im gettin there....

[Sue_Bender]

Parasites are scary things...

Agreed!


And this board is full of 'em!





Now I've got to take "Natural Balance" 'cause you girls have got me paranoid.

[Bob Impact]

Agreed!


And this board is full of 'em!

http://forum.voetbalzone.nl/images/smilies/rimshot.gif

[Sue_Bender]

http://forum.voetbalzone.nl/images/smilies/rimshot.gif

Aha!

I see that Bob's here to bust some balls...





Just don't bust a nut in the process.


Pervert.

[Bob Impact]

Aha!

I see that Bob's here to bust some balls...





Just don't bust a nut in the process.


Pervert.

Too late

[SatCam]

What Shades of Shit Alarm You?

None anymore :glurps:

[DolaMight]

at times when suffering from violent diarrhea I contemplate the art I could create by aiming my ass not at the toilet but at a canvas. Shart.

[LaBoob]

at times when suffering from violent diarrhea I contemplate the art I could create by aiming my ass not at the toilet but at a canvas. Shart.

Crapson Pollock?