My wife has left me

[topless_mike]

alone for tonite until tomorrow.

i dont know what to do.

im bored already, and its only been 6 minutes.

[ChrisTheCop]

you could practice peeing.


Other than that, TMC is showing Apocalypse Now at 1am.
I Am Legend is on demand.
Red Sox-Mariners at 10, if you have extra innings.

[Dan 'Hampton]

or your laundry.

[sailor]

boo.

[led37zep]

My chick has left me till Thursday.


wanna sword fight?

[ChrisTheCop]

boo.

yeah, he could re-read To Kill A Mockingbird...

[JPMNICK]

craigslist hooker

[K.C.]

make a sock puppet wife and talk to that.

[HBox]

My wife left me before I even met her.

The cunt.

[Kevin]

My wife left me before I even met her.

The cunt.

The nerve of some people, did not even take the time to know you.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Scream "NOOO" over and over really really loudly (enough so that you think people outside might hear you) whilst hanging upside down and jacking off and then sacrifice your shoes to the microwave. After that take a nap in a hottub.

[Kit the Eskimo]

you could practice peeing.


Other than that, TMC is showing Apocalypse Now at 1am.
I Am Legend is on demand.
Red Sox-Mariners at 10, if you have extra innings.

I'll be there 13 rows behind the Sox dugout. Hopefully they are baffled by Dickey's knuckleball.

[ChrisTheCop]

I'll be there 13 rows behind the Sox dugout. Hopefully they are baffled by Dickey's knuckleball.


List # 113 on things I never thought I'd say:

I am jealous of an Eskimo.

[led37zep]

Scream "NOOO" over and over really really loudly (enough so that you think people outside might hear you) whilst hanging upside down and jacking off and then sacrifice your shoes to the microwave. After that take a nap in hottub.

Ew.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind


but ew.

[bigredd]

Do something nice for the ol bitch...or fire up a bowl and watch some serious TV. TBS has Family Guy after Family Guy after Family Guy after Family Guy going on right now. Cook yourself a gnarly meal and put on a pound or two.

[Friday]

alone for tonite until tomorrow.

i dont know what to do.

im bored already, and its only been 6 minutes.

DAMN YOU!!

My heart JUMPED when I read this title!!!

Now get some beer and start posting!

My chick has left me till Thursday.


wanna sword fight?

What time should I come over? :wub:

:tongue:

[KingGeno]

Rub poop on your face, and run around like a commando. Your houseplants can be the vietcong.

[led37zep]

What time should I come over? :wub:

:tongue:

Um...Friday has a sword?


I have to admit I really didn't see this one coming!:tongue:

[King Hippos Bandaid]

watch tv drink a few beers and know that you wont hear Mikkkkkkkkkke for the night


maybe a fast food run is in order, dont throw out the wrappers until the last minute


id say order a pizza but there are way too many rules for that

[SatCam]

i dont know what to do.

put on your shirt for the nite

[drjoek]

http://johnthenewsking.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/belushi_toga.jpg

[Friday]

put on your shirt for the nite

and take OFF your pants! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[KC2OSO]

Set a new personal batch/day record.

[Jughead]

Shit that scared me to death...Bass players never have any one leave them....:smile:..Well Not very often....

[topless_mike]

and take OFF your pants! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

honey, they done been off since she left the house.

[topless_mike]

watch tv drink a few beers and know that you wont hear Mikkkkkkkkkke for the night


maybe a fast food run is in order, dont throw out the wrappers until the last minute


id say order a pizza but there are way too many rules for that

NO Fast Food
That is not part of my new lifestyle.

[Friday]

honey, they done been off since she left the house.

i should HOPE SO!

mine are off all the time. no wife here to cramp my styleeee!

[britneypablo]

whenever i have alone time, i put anything minty all over my body....especially the soft areas

peppermint, spearmint, andes mints...

if u cant find those in massive amounts just put gold bond powder all over yourself...but dont breath it in, its cancer....

good times

[spadanko]

Go to a massage parlor

[Friday]

.

if u cant find those in massive amounts just put gold bond powder all over yourself...
good times

this quote may be used as proof that you are actually a man.....

[britneypablo]

this quote may be used as proof that you are actually a man.....

even ive mistaken my extremely large clit for a penis....im the hyena of the human species

[led37zep]

even ive mistaken my extremely large clit for a penis....im the hyena of the human species

Thats true.

I've been to Cary, NC.

They are known as the Big Clit Capitol of the South.

[britneypablo]

oh watch some spike tv while ur wife is gone and watch those bizarro asian game show voice over shows.....i love those

[AngelAmy]

I say boobey trap the house in case robbers try to break in

[PapaBear]

I say boobey trap the house in case robbers try to break in
I really wish I could find a clip of the teddy bear trap in Cape Fear!

[Reynolds]

Hold a lubricant audition.

[britneypablo]

I say boobey trap the house in case robbers try to break in

robbers love boobs, u might be able to have a party if u get enough of them over :clap:

[~Katja~]

Shit that scared me to death...Bass players never have any one leave them....:smile:..Well Not very often....

is that right???





that may explain some insanity I have come across...

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I hope you left the toilet seat up

[EliSnow]

Starting tomorrow, my wife and kids are heading to her mother's until next weekend, when I go and meet them. While they are gone I can: finish Halo 2 on the PC; play Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii; watch No Country for Old Men; the new Batman animated movie, Donnie Darko, Blood Simple and about 5 other movies that I own but have never watched (including Touch of Evil and the Third Man); and watch first season episodes of Dexter that I've downloaded.

Plus, I'll probably be adding to my post count here a lot.

For food, one night will be cuban burger night, one night will be mexican food night (which the wife doesn't like), one night chinese, one night pizza and wings, and/or I don't know what I'll eat the last night.

Plus, since our 5 month old and 3 year old won't be in the house, I should be able to sleep solid for the first time in a long time.

So I'm thinking by Tuesday morning, I'll be sick of being alone.

[Foster]

For food, one night will be cuban burger night, one night will be mexican food night (which the wife doesn't like), one night chinese, one night pizza and wings, and/or I don't know what I'll eat the last night.



I'm guessing Tums

[sailor]

i vote over-sized jewish deli sandwich

http://d0.biggestmenu.com/00/00/a5/c67522d27fed1a3c_m.jpg

[Hottub]

Make an appointment with a cardiologist.
Your vas deferens and urethra need a good flushing. (Plus your forearm muscles need a workout)
PM a new sig to every active member.
Plan your route to Bergen Bar Night IV. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=72032)

[Drunky McBetidont]

Starting tomorrow, my wife and kids are heading to her mother's until next weekend, when I go and meet them. While they are gone I can: finish Halo 2 on the PC; play Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii; watch No Country for Old Men; the new Batman animated movie, Donnie Darko, Blood Simple and about 5 other movies that I own but have never watched (including Touch of Evil and the Third Man); and watch first season episodes of Dexter that I've downloaded.

Plus, I'll probably be adding to my post count here a lot.

For food, one night will be cuban burger night, one night will be mexican food night (which the wife doesn't like), one night chinese, one night pizza and wings, and/or I don't know what I'll eat the last night.

Plus, since our 5 month old and 3 year old won't be in the house, I should be able to sleep solid for the first time in a long time.

So I'm thinking by Tuesday morning, I'll be sick of being alone.


what is a cuban hamburger? it sounds interesting. they have cuban sandwiches everywhere here in florida.

[EliSnow]

what is a cuban hamburger? it sounds interesting. they have cuban sandwiches everywhere here in florida.

It's not much different from a cuban sandwich. I've described the recipe in the I'm Starvin forum (search for Bobby Flay and cuban), but you grill a burger til it's rare, than you take a bun, put mayo/dijon mustard on top and bottom of the bun, swiss on the bottom, then the burger, then a slice of ham, then swiss, then pickles slices, then the top of the bun, then you wrap in tin foil and either place in a panini press or on the grill with a brick on top of the burger for another 2-3 minutes.

[SatCam]

It's not much different from a cuban sandwich. I've described the recipe in the I'm Starvin forum (search for Bobby Flay and cuban), but you grill a burger til it's rare, than you take a bun, put mayo/dijon mustard on top and bottom of the bun, swiss on the bottom, then the burger, then a slice of ham, then swiss, then pickles slices, then the top of the bun, then you wrap in tin foil and either place in a panini press or on the grill with a brick on top of the burger for another 2-3 minutes.

damn now im stavin

[Drunky McBetidont]

It's not much different from a cuban sandwich. I've described the recipe in the I'm Starvin forum (search for Bobby Flay and cuban), but you grill a burger til it's rare, than you take a bun, put mayo/dijon mustard on top and bottom of the bun, swiss on the bottom, then the burger, then a slice of ham, then swiss, then pickles slices, then the top of the bun, then you wrap in tin foil and either place in a panini press or on the grill with a brick on top of the burger for another 2-3 minutes.

i guess i know what lunch is tomorrow.
yum

[EliSnow]

So, on day three of my being alone, and I'm tired of it.

First night, I finished Halo 2 (took me about 10 minutes -- didn't know I was that close) and I watched Batman Gotham Knight. Had pizza and wings for dinner.

Last night, I grilled some BBQ chicken breasts, and roasted some peppers and an onion, and made sandwiches with it. Had them along with some rice. Pretty good meal, but I didn't like the buns I used for the sandwiches. Watched an episode of Dexter and played Metroid Prime.

Tonight, I'm taking the left over chicken, peppars and onions and making queusadillas. I'm going to do some laundry and watch "No Country for Old Men" and maybe some more Dexter.

Right now, it's hard to believe I spent about 6 years living by myself.

[Freitag]

Right now, it's hard to believe I spent about 6 years living by myself.


You know, I felt the same way when I was away from my wife. I'm OK if we're apart for a night, but more than that, I get miserable.

I had to take a business trip recently, and that night away SUCKED. I was in a boring city, I was bored by the meetings, and the hotel didn't capture my attention.

[Freitag]

So Liz is leaving me for two nights as she heads down to visit her mother and cook indian food.

I am drastically poor, and there's frozen pizza in the house.

It's gonna be lord of the flies by the end of the weekend.

[Tall_James]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D3j_fdSpkmE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D3j_fdSpkmE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Tall_James]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D_P-v1BVQn8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D_P-v1BVQn8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Freitag]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D3j_fdSpkmE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D3j_fdSpkmE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

...you want me to DUI?

[Tall_James]

...you want me to DUI?

No.....

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Oof60kDFqAc&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Oof60kDFqAc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Freitag]

No.....



How about I just break your stuff and I throw 50s at you when I'm done?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

get home alcohol and enjoy South Florida vs Kansas


you have Smackdown that you can DVR,( if you have DVR)


that should last you until you pass out from the booze

[JPMNICK]

go down to new brunswick and try to pick up college aged chicks. it is dirt cheap to drink down there and you pull out a 50 dollar bills and those girls love it

[Freitag]

go down to new brunswick and try to pick up college aged chicks. it is dirt cheap to drink down there and you pull out a 50 dollar bills and those girls love it

Uh, how do you think Liz and I got together in the first place?

[JPMNICK]

Uh, how do you think Liz and I got together in the first place?

yea but she is leaving you now, so it is time to find a new liz

[Tenbatsuzen]

yea but she is leaving you now, so it is time to find a new liz

Does New Liz come with the same hateful brother?

BTW, I have no idea what I want to eat. Part of me wants Wendy's, part of me wants Chinese.

[JPMNICK]

Does New Liz come with the same hateful brother?

BTW, I have no idea what I want to eat. Part of me wants Wendy's, part of me wants Chinese.

def wendy's. nothing is more sad then living alone and having left over chinese food containers.

[EliSnow]

Well, I'm all alone for the next three nights. Wife went to her mom's with the kids.

I'll be playing some video games tonight, with movies tomorrow night.

[Contra]

Your wife took your kids and went to stay with her mom? Are you sure she's coming back?

[EliSnow]

Your wife took your kids and went to stay with her mom? Are you sure she's coming back?

Yes. Three days is the max she can deal with her mother.

[razorboy]

Yes. Three days is the max she can deal with her mother.

As long as "mother" isn't some sort of code.

[EliSnow]

As long as "mother" isn't some sort of code.

Nope. It's the woman who gave birth to her.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Yes. Three days is the max she can deal with her mother.

Did your wife get "the talk" with terms like "your father's penis"?

[Hottub]

Nope. It's the woman who gave birth to her.

Her mom's box?:wacko:

[Aggie]

I'd be too scared to announce to the board my husband went out of town. Someone might come find me.

And then I'd shoot you with my gun and I'd have to deal with all of the paper work. Not worth it.

[Rab]

Jerk off loudly..try on her panties on..then look threw all her private stuff..

[EliSnow]

Did your wife get "the talk" with terms like "your father's penis"?

Damn, I must have really skeeved you out if you're trying to return the favor.

[sr71blackbird]

Call her sister and try and have phone sex with her.

[EliSnow]

Call her sister and try and have phone sex with her.

No sister. And I'll just be playing video games, thank you.

[Hottub]

No sister. And I'll just be playing with myself, thank you.

Yeah. We know.

[drjoek]

Eli Snow, posting after dark!!!!

[sr71blackbird]

www.redtube.com
www.pornhub.com


You are welcome

[EliSnow]

Eli Snow, posting after dark!!!!

Maybe tonight. I'm planning on watching some movies on blu-ray tonight with full surround sound blaring. I can do some posting at the same time.

[EliSnow]

www.redtube.com
www.pornhub.com


You are welcome

Wow! You mean there's porn on the internet? Will wonders never cease!

[ecobag2]

Well, I'm all alone for the next three nights. Wife went to her mom's with the kids.

I'll be playing some video games tonight, with movies tomorrow night.

Man this rocks. Enjoy!

[mikeyboy]

Wife left for Scotland yesterday. Kids left with my sister-in-law and her husband today for MD and PA. I've got a whole week on my own.

[hammersavage]

let your hair grow out. get unkempt.

[biggirl]

Wife left for Scotland yesterday. Kids left with my sister-in-law and her husband today for MD and PA. I've got a whole week on my own.

what are you going to do with yourself?

[mikeyboy]

let your hair grow out. get unkempt.

ok.

now what?

[hammersavage]

bar night. get wasted

[biggirl]

ok.

now what?

what you should do is go for a new look...cut your hair, clean shaven...then your kids and wife won't know who you are when they get back and may leave again.

[Hottub]

Reorganize and rip all of your cd's and dvd's.

[SatCam]

what you should do is go for a new look...cut your hair, clean shaven...then your kids and wife won't know who you are when they get back and may leave again.

why do you think they left in the first place?

[HBox]

Wife left for Scotland yesterday. Kids left with my sister-in-law and her husband today for MD and PA. I've got a whole week on my own.

Watch Synecdoche, New York. Should make you very comfortable with everything that is going on.

[PD]

bar night. get wasted

what he said.

[topless_mike]

fart on the couch.
leave the toilet seat up.
take a dump and leave it there overnite.

[TooLowBrow]

fart on the couch.
leave the toilet seat up.
take a dump and leave it there overnite.

but no ones there to appreciate it

[disneyspy]

under nuke some turkey nuggets
make up a new game show
watch your wrestlin videos

[topless_mike]

make up a new game show


i have an idea. how about a game show that the contestants sit in these over-sized recliners and wear really bad 80's pastel shirts. they use a remote to choose from a variety of questions. losers like, get sucked backwards through a wall or something.

[Hottub]

Help Earl update the file library.
When that's done, go in and label every single picture in the gallery.


While drinking beer, of course.

[hammersavage]

I'll do it

[biggestmexi]

I'll do it

yeah cause your not known for ruining things!

[hammersavage]

yeah cause your not known for ruining things!

you don't get the bit. leave it to funny people

[biggestmexi]

you don't get the bit. leave it to funny people

i was just referring to earlier.

[hammersavage]

i was just referring to earlier.

go post for a whole page buddy

[Hottub]

I'll do it

:wink:

And not just the beer part.

[~Katja~]

ok.

now what?

bowling in Linden this Saturday!

[Hottub]

Jersey Rich will meet you at the train station.

[~Katja~]

foster usually picks up people along the road from LI too...

[Hottub]

Running out of excuses.

[biggirl]

foster usually picks up people along the road from LI too...

Who is this foster guy? :wink:

[mendyweiss]

Wife left for Scotland yesterday. Kids left with my sister-in-law and her husband today for MD and PA. I've got a whole week on my own.

http://www.womendiary.net/picture/ashlee-dupree-splitzer.jpg

[Gvac]

Wife left for Scotland yesterday. Kids left with my sister-in-law and her husband today for MD and PA. I've got a whole week on my own.

I'll be there at 9.

I've got a busy week planned for us.

[lleeder]

I'll be there at 9.

I've got a jizzy week planned for us.

Ewwww...

[mikeyboy]

I'll be there at 9.

I've got a busy week planned for us.

You're a dirty fucking liar. I even ordered pizza.

I'm the last person in the world to get Rock Band 2, but that came in the mail this week. As a result, I've been playing a lot of video game drums in my underwear with my imaginary videogame band, BandageFat. This game is fun, but I imagine it's more fun with more than one person. I suppose I could try to sing and play drums at the same time, but I'm no Levon Helm.

I'm also realizing that if I was single I would have the worst dietary habits.

[biggirl]

You're a dirty fucking liar. I even ordered pizza.

I'm the last person in the world to get Rock Band 2, but that came in the mail this week. As a result, I've been playing a lot of video game drums in my underwear with my imaginary videogame band, BandageFat. This game is fun, but I imagine it's more fun with more than one person. I suppose I could try to sing and play drums at the same time, but I'm no Levon Helm.

I'm also realizing that if I was single I would have the worst dietary habits.

you should have had a rf.net rockband party this week. It would have been so much fun!!!

[Gvac]

I'm the last person in the world to get Rock Band 2, but that came in the mail this week.

I don't even own a video game console.

Aren't you in your 40's?

[mikeyboy]

I don't even own a video game console.



You need to borrow a few bucks? Just say the word. I'm cool with that.

[boosterp]

Mikey is rediscovering his youth. This time though with technology.

Gvac, rescue his diet please! Remember he's a jew and they don't eat pork or something. :dry:

[topless_mike]

I'm also realizing that if I was single I would have the worst dietary habits.

ahh, the bachellor's food groups.
chips and beer for dinner, with a late nite order of chinese.

[Hottub]

Smokin" weed smokin whizz" doin" coke drinkin' beers drinkin' beers beers beers. Rollin fatties, smokin blunts. Who smokes blunts? Mikey smoke blunts.

[topless_mike]

Smokin" weed smokin whizz" doin" coke drinkin' beers drinkin' beers beers beers. Rollin fatties, smokin blunts. Who smokes blunts? Mikey smoke blunts.

and i bet he can afford the finest greens. not this newark pep shit or schwag that you find.
filled with stems and sticks and seeds.

[mikeyboy]

I think I might go see a movie tonight. Should I choose "The Hangover" or "Funny People"?

[biggirl]

I think I might go see a movie tonight. Should I choose "The Hangover" or "Funny People"?

why not see both?

[hammersavage]

I think I might go see a movie tonight. Should I choose "The Hangover" or "Funny People"?

Ooo, that's close.

Has to be a comedy? No 'Hurt Locker' or '500 Days of Summer'?



Go with 'Funny People'. It's slightly better but both are good

[disneyspy]

I think I might go see a movie tonight. Should I choose "The Hangover" or "Funny People"?

i kinda liked "the hangover",one of those funny shows with no real meaning just stupid things lined up,dont leave before the credits

[mikeyboy]

Ooo, that's close.

Has to be a comedy? No 'Hurt Locker' or '500 Days of Summer'?



Go with 'Funny People'. It's slightly better but both are good

Doesn't have to be a comedy, but I'm not in the mood for too heavy tonight. These are all of the films at the theater within walking distance (I already saw Bruno and Harry Potter):


Julie & Julia (PG-13, 123 min.)
11:45am | 2:30pm | 5:10pm | 7:50pm | 10:30pm
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (PG, 153 min.)
11:35am | 3:10pm | 6:40pm | 10:00pm
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (PG-13, 118 min.)
11:30am | 2:00pm | 4:30pm | 7:10pm | 9:50pm

* No Passes

Aliens in the Attic (PG, 86 min.)
12:40pm | 2:45pm | 4:50pm | 7:00pm
Orphan (R, 123 min.)
12:50pm | 3:20pm | 5:50pm | 8:10pm | 10:45pm
Funny People (R, 136 min.)
12:30pm | 1:30pm | 4:00pm | 5:00pm | 7:20pm | 8:30pm | 10:20pm
Bruno (R, 88 min.)
9:30pm
The Hangover (R, 96 min.)
12:10pm | 2:40pm | 5:40pm | 8:00pm | 10:50pm
A Perfect Getaway (R, 98 min.)
12:20pm | 2:50pm | 5:30pm | 7:30pm | 10:10pm
G-Force: in Disney Digital 3-D (PG, 90 min.)
12:00pm | 2:20pm | 4:40pm | 6:50pm | 9:10pm

[hammersavage]

Julie & Julia was lovely. Streep's more so, but I thought Amy Adams was likable enough to tolerate her half.

[hammersavage]

Hangover is funnier but not as funny as people are saying.

Funny People tells a good story about a cool subject.

but like ds said, the Hangover pretty much builds to the credits.

[Gvac]

Julie & Julia was lovely.

Just so everyone knows, I didn't edit that.

Seriously.

[boosterp]

G-Force was entertaining for a kid's movie.

[Tenbatsuzen]

I'm alone, it's cold, and I'm hungry.

I'm hungry but I'm not sure if I want White Castle, McDonalds, or an omelette from the diner.

I'm watching Michigan/Iowa.

Suggestions?

[FrogSlayer]

sounds like a good time to grill

[topless_mike]

I'm alone, it's cold, and I'm hungry.

I'm hungry but I'm not sure if I want White Castle, McDonalds, or an omelette from the diner.

I'm watching Michigan/Iowa.

Suggestions?

what did you have?

[Freitag]

what did you have?

Nothing. I went to sleep.

[JohnCharles]

Nothing. I went to sleep.

You were gone for so long, we started to think that she also pays the internet bill.