Why cant i get over it

[biggestmexi]

For some reason I cannot get over a past gf. I think about her from time to time. Every now and again. I saw her yesterday and my heart dropped/stopped. I didnt say anything to her. Is there something wrong with me? Why does this happen. I try not to think about her. But when i see her days after I cant stop thinking about her.


yes it was first lay

[~Katja~]

how did the relationship end and how long were you with her?

I have found myself thinking about one and the same person even when I was not with him for quite some time. But I had this perfect image of him. All the moments we had were all just happy or exciting ones and we never really ended things... so it was easy to just wallow in the beautiful memories and revive them to feel better about the absence.

[biggestmexi]

Well it pretty much started down hill after something ron likes to mention a lot about. (The last is what he told a trooper to get out of a ticket.) On and off for maybe a month after that and then plplplp.

[epo]

As Katja said, you've obviously seemed to romanticize this person and built her up in your head in retrospect. Don't worry, it's a mistake that many people make.

Just remember, an ex always seems to look better after the relationship. I don't try to understand that phenomena, but it completely exists.

[LaBoob]

A lot of people have a "the one who got away"...

I think I have about 50...

For some people it's a way of fantasizing about the ideal aspects of past relationships, but it's a great way to ruin the relationship you're currently IN. You have to remember that there's a reason relationships end, and even remind yourself of the negative aspects of the relationship... the ones we usually forget about in hindsight.

For other people, specifically those who believe there's ONE person for everyone, it can be agonizing to think that the ONE person for you is in your past, not your present or future.

It sucks because we're always told right after a breakup that in time the pain will go away, but for some people it never does... sure, it gets easier to deal with as the days go by, but it never really does go away for good.

And running into an ex is mortifying... I went to a bday party at a bar once with a current boyfriend, and I knew an ex of mine (my first boyfriend ever) would be there... I was so over him that it wasn't all THAT difficult to see him, but in the middle of the party another ex, completely unrelated to the party, walked in and I FREAKED. I think that was my first anxiety attack. I wound up pretending I never saw him and left shortly after that :sad:.

[britneypablo]

for a long time, a friend and I had a competition of de-virginizing people....Devirgination Nation....that was the name of the competition...anyways the rules are self explanatory...
the point is, we both achieved very highly in this competition and at the end, we had alot of the opposite sex "in love" with us....often times many of them still try to get in touch with me presently and he says the same thing happens to him..even after about 4 or so years.....thats because people dont ever seem to get over their first lay if it was with someone they cared about....thats what i think ur problem is.......please dont become someone instant messaging her begging for another chance....

[Dougie Brootal]

for a long time, a friend and I had a competition of de-virginizing people....Devirgination Nation....that was the name of the competition...anyways the rules are self explanatory...
the point is, we both achieved very highly in this competition and at the end, we had alot of the opposite sex "in love" with us....often times many of them still try to get in touch with me presently and he says the same thing happens to him..even after about 4 or so years.....thats because people dont ever seem to get over their first lay if it was with someone they cared about....thats what i think ur problem is.......please dont become someone instant messaging her begging for another chance....

I TOLD YOU, I CANT FORGET YOU! PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE! I CAN MAKE THIS WORK! I KNOW IT!

[biggestmexi]

for a long time, a friend and I had a competition of de-virginizing people....Devirgination Nation....that was the name of the competition...anyways the rules are self explanatory...
the point is, we both achieved very highly in this competition and at the end, we had alot of the opposite sex "in love" with us....often times many of them still try to get in touch with me presently and he says the same thing happens to him..even after about 4 or so years.....thats because people dont ever seem to get over their first lay if it was with someone they cared about....thats what i think ur problem is.......please dont become someone instant messaging her begging for another chance....

thats what ron said. And its very well true.

and this wasnt exactly like you did

[MM2]

For some reason I cannot get over a past gf. I think about her from time to time. Every now and again. I saw her yesterday and my heart dropped/stopped. I didnt say anything to her. Is there something wrong with me? Why does this happen. I try not to think about her. But when i see her days after I cant stop thinking about her.


yes it was first lay

Everyone has that one person (some maybe more than one) that they think about almost every day of their lives, no matter what. Its just a fact of life. When you love someone and it ends, that love doesn't just disappear, its going to be there forever.

Just like Ron says, there is always someone you think about everyday but never talk about.

There is something to what people have said about building the person up in your mind. I'm sure that's part of it, but its not going to change anything. You really cared about this person and she owns a piece of you, and there really isn't anything you can do to get that piece back. Even if you win the lottery, meet the hottest chick in the world, and have the happiest life possible, those thoughts and memories will still be there. Sucks sometimes, but there is nothing you can do about it.

When you run into her, just try to do something to get your mind off of her, trust me, I know that's hard to do, but that's about your only option.

[hammersavage]

for a long time, a friend and I had a competition of de-virginizing people....Devirgination Nation....that was the name of the competition...anyways the rules are self explanatory...
the point is, we both achieved very highly in this competition and at the end,

Where the fuck were you when I was in high school? we're the same age, it coulda worked...

[biggestmexi]

Everyone has that one person (some maybe more than one) that they think about almost every day of their lives, no matter what. Its just a fact of life. When you love someone and it ends, that love doesn't just disappear, its going to be there forever.

Just like Ron says, there is always someone you think about everyday but never talk about.

There is something to what people have said about building the person up in your mind. I'm sure that's part of it, but its not going to change anything. You really cared about this person and she owns a piece of you, and there really isn't anything you can do to get that piece back. Even if you win the lottery, meet the hottest chick in the world, and have the happiest life possible, those thoughts and memories will still be there. Sucks sometimes, but there is nothing you can do about it.

When you run into her, just try to do something to get your mind off of her, trust me, I know that's hard to do, but that's about your only option.

Good Points. And that is what i was thinking about when i said like ron said. I just forgot the words exaclty.

It was just wierd when i was in the store a song was playing when i saw her. The lyrics were something like When i see you my heart stops. But it was a newer song

[Furtherman]

Once you get another girl you'll get over her.

[RAAMONE]

Once you get another girl you'll get over her.

exactly

[biggestmexi]

Once you get another girl you'll get over her.

not really

[Dougie Brootal]

Once you get another girl you'll get over her.

until the new one starts fuckin up, at least.

[Furtherman]

not really

Have you had the next girl yet?

[britneypablo]

you can remember all the good things about her and your heart can stop everytime you see her but lets put it into perspective, shes crap thats why u arent with her, in addition she probably has a really pussy std....maybe that will help you, imagine her vagina, covered in puss...

[LaBoob]

you can remember all the good things about her and your heart can stop everytime you see her but lets put it into perspective, shes crap thats why u arent with her, in addition she probably has a really pussy std....maybe that will help you, imagine her vagina, covered in puss...

a pussy pussy? Confusing...

[britneypablo]

a pussy pussy? Confusing...

i see what you mean, i will clarify but saying the vagina is *--erupting in puss (often making splat noises on the side of someone else's cheek)--*

[~Katja~]

i see what you mean, i will clarify but saying the vagina is *--erupting in puss (often making splat noises on the side of someone else's cheek)--*

thank you. I think I will imagine that on the guy's dick I had been with *(I am surprised he actually did not have it...)
now i'm healed.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

someone lock this thread for men to post before some 1 gays it up


now back to your regularly scheduled Vagina talk

[denko]

you're not allowing yourself to get over her. this pain or longing for her is your way of staying connected to something that has passed you by. you have to be honest with yourself and come to grips with this.

and like furtherman said, get into some new pussy and you'll forget she ever exsisted. i'm paraphrasing of course.

[biggestmexi]

Have you had the next girl yet?

yes and a 20mnth old i am happy with this relationship now. so i dont understand it.

[Furtherman]

yes and a 20mnth old

20 month old? You've got bigger problems than thinking about your ex.

[biggestmexi]

20 month old? You've got bigger problems than thinking about your ex.

how true. But i havent really thought about her in a while before this. but i just saw her the other day and just started the wheels rolling gone going now.

[Doctor Z]

You will dude... I can tell you that. You eventually will.

Right now, in your mind it seems like that day can never come. But it will.

[Doctor Z]

how true. But i havent really thought about her in a while before this. but i just saw her the other day and just started the wheels rolling gone going now.

I think what FM was implying was that it's fucked up that you're dating a 20-month old.

[biggestmexi]

the good thing is, is that Ron and Fez help keep my mind off of her.

I think he was implying that it's fucked up that you're dating a 20-month old.

OOOHHHH.

And the thing is is that I KNOW that there are thing I dont like about her. smokin, drinkin, bar hoppin, party hardy. But i just cant help it.

Hey i have over 1,000 posts. Neat. But this thread was it . Sad

[MM2]

the good thing is, is that Ron and Fez help keep my mind off of her.


OOOHHHH.

And the thing is is that I KNOW that there are thing I dont like about her. smokin, drinkin, bar hoppin, party hardy. But i just cant help it.

Hey i have over 1,000 posts. Neat. But this thread was it . Sad

People keep saying that new pussy will make you forget but I can't disagree more. When you truly care about someone that love never goes away and its always gonna bring back those feelings when you see that person. You are happy in your current relationship have a kid, and all that is great. Just be happy about that and try to get your mind into other things, like the buddays!

Whether they want to admit it or not, everyone has one of these past loves that they will never get over. It could even have been a girl in elementary school, who knows, but we all have them and it sucks for all of us but you just gotta be happy with what you've got...and a happy relationship with a 20 month old is alot more then alot of people have...so be happy with that!

[britneypablo]

i dont remember where i read this statistic, but i read somewheres that more men kill themselves over lost love then women....

when a man unconditionally loves a woman, that means through anything....ANYTHING...so when they lose it, its worth dying....

when a woman unconditionally loves a man, we still have conditions regardless of how much we say/think we are in love, like they cant cheat, think we are fat, or embarrass us....

if you agree, then maybe we can say this sorta thing has something to do with the way we perceive these lost loves and ex's

if you dont agree, then maybe its because we all know women attempt suicide for attention and men generally carry through when they decide to do it...

[Doctor Z]

You can take a 20-month old out to bars? Must be a hell of a fake ID.

But seriously...
Don't listen to people who say "new pussy will make you forget all about her." Bullshit.
For some people this is true. Clearly for you, it's not. Everyone's different and deals with shit differently. Chances are, you're gonna spend your time with the "new pussy" thinking how much you wish it was your ex, and how much better your ex was at this, and that, etc.

The trick isn't getting new pussy. (Though it's PART of it, so don't dismiss it completely.) You just have to give yourself as much time as you need to heal. But ALWAYS look FORWARD. Don't look back at shit. Looking back, missing certain things, wishing those days would return... all a destructive waste of time. Keep your mind looking AHEAD, not back. I can't stress that enough. What's done is done. No use looking back. Take what valuable experience it's provided you, and move forward with it.

ALSO, take up a hobby. When I had my soul destroyed by a woman, I sulked for months. I don't feel bad or guilty about this, cuz it's what I needed to do. It's how I needed to deal with it at the time. But something that helped me come out of it and speed up the process was that I bought a camera. I picked up photography and filled a lot of my spare time with it. It was a therapeutic and artistic outlet for me, and helped me clear my head a lot. Plus it sure beats sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself.

Hope I helped somewhat. This advice is kinda fit for someone just getting through a breakup, which it doesn't sound like is your case, but I still think it can be applied to your situation.

[biggestmexi]

helped very much.

I have hobbys as well. Detailing my car is one a long with photography is a back up.

[barjockey]

Dwelling on the past is useless. Learning from the past priceless. Cliche' but true

[Sue_Bender]

For some reason I cannot get over a past gf. I think about her from time to time. Every now and again. I saw her yesterday and my heart dropped/stopped. I didnt say anything to her. Is there something wrong with me? Why does this happen. I try not to think about her. But when i see her days after I cant stop thinking about her.


yes it was first lay

So...


She was hot?

[Sinestro]

how true. But i havent really thought about her in a while before this. but i just saw her the other day and just started the wheels rolling gone going now.


It was destiny. Did you talk to her? You may not get another chance at love.

[biggestmexi]

So...


She was hot?

Suprisingly in my eyes she was. some people might not say so but i Always did.:sad:

[Dirtybird12]

For some reason I cannot get over a past gf.

You can't get over her because you are weak. You have no confidence in yourself.
Probably have some abandonment issues and more than likely lead a dull life - sitting around and waiting for some magical being to flop down from the sky and make you feel warm and fuzzy...


man up. find another broad and stop wasting your limited time on this planet missing someone from your past. Focus on your finding peace within yourself and not relying on
another person for your mental comfort.