Dinner for Friend: Should you pay?

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I have dinner tonight with a friend. Yes, it's a Grrl. No, it's platonic. She has a boyfriend, though she broke up with him like 3 times this summer. Crazy Korean chick?

Anyway. My normal compulsion is to pay for the table. I'm worried though that if I offer to pay for her that I'll send some weird message by mistake. Also, I've been wondering if you're supposed to pay for every girl you eat dinner with, or if that's a stereotype/sexist thing. I know this should be on a case-by-case basis, but it's been a general rule for me to assume that I ought to pay for 'em.

And exactly which goddamned culture is it that gets offended if you tip a waitress?

Thoughts/Prayers would be appreciated.

[~Katja~]

wait for her cues.
when the bill comes see if she is going to get money out, then you can offer to pay but if she says no then don't force it.

If you feel you should not pay then just ask the waitress for separate checks, but that's kinda strange.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

wait for her cues.
when the bill comes see if she is going to get money out, then you can offer to pay but if she says no then don't force it.

If you feel you should not pay then just ask the waitress for separate checks, but that's kinda strange.

Seperate checks annoy the hell out of me. I hate people who feel compelled to do that. It just takes too long and it's always awkward. Kinda comes off like a "fuck you" to everyone else at the table. Maybe I'm being sensitive.

[ChrisTheCop]

Youre having dinner with her because you want to have sex with her.
Even if eventually.

You pay.

[Fezticle98]

Did you invite her? Then you should pay.

If she invited you, then just pay for your own.

[sailor]

generally someone will grab the check and try to pay for the table. try to pay, but if she's insistent on paying her share, don't be a freak over it.

[LaBoob]

Watch her to see what she does, if she's trying to stave off any awkward, "Is he gonna pay for me" crap she might have her card ready to throw in with yours, or insist on putting in some cash or something.

It's nice for a guy to pick up the check, even if it's just a friend. It does NOT mean she's going to have to put out, and hopefully she's "with it" enough to know that and not feel uncomfortable. Hopefully next time you two go out as just friends she'll pick up the bill, and you should absolutely let her.

[Furtherman]

I don't see paying for a meal as some kind of "message". Just pay it.

If you thrust your hand down her pants, then there's your "message".

[MobCounty]

Men pay the bill. If there are two men, they alternate paying for dinners. Women don't get to be offended, cus' their job is to sit there and eat for free.

Splitting the bill, is for people who eat at Arby's or Cracker Barrel.

[Knowledged_one]

dont worry about the bill worry about finding some GHT to slip into her drink

[~Katja~]

Youre having dinner with her because you want to have sex with her.
Even if eventually.

You pay.

that means all men should continue to pay for all women they take out, cause lets face it... they all just want to end up in their pants

[ChrisTheCop]

that means all men should continue to pay for all women they take out, cause lets face it... they all just want to end up in their pants

Exactamundo.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I don't see paying for a meal as some kind of "message". Just pay it.

If you thrust your hand down her pants, then there's your "message".

Good words. Should this message cum before or after the Kimchee? :laugh:

[Thebazile78]

I've almost always offered to pay at least once or twice.

If it's just friends, we split the bill or whoever makes more money pays.

Or we alternate picking up the check if we see each other often.

[joethebartender]

wait for her cues.
when the bill comes see if she is going to get money out, then you can offer to pay but if she says no then don't force it.

If you feel you should not pay then just ask the waitress for separate checks, but that's kinda strange.

NEVER ask for separate checks!
I say open the check cover while it's on the table so you both see the amount, figure in a tip and then just say whatever it is each and put your half on the table.

[EddieMoscone]

And exactly which goddamned culture is it that gets offended if you tip a waitress?


Don't know if they are offended, but I just got back from japan and they do not tip in restaurants, bars, etc. I assume the servers there get paid more than $3 and hour.

[ChrisTheCop]

And exactly which goddamned culture is it that gets offended if you tip a waitress?



Don't know if they are offended, but I just got back from japan and they do not tip in restaurants, bars, etc. I assume the servers there get paid more than $3 and hour.

Iceland too. I tipped my hot waitress and she gave it back to me, explaining that's not done there. Waiting is a real job there with benefits, insurance, even retirement plans.

Later, I saw her in a club, and offered to buy her a drink. That, apparently, is also something thats not done. She says, "it's not a part of our mating process" and that it's actually an insult to think someone needs a handout and cant take care of themselves. But allowed me to buy her a beer if she could buy me a shot. We ended up hooking up that night.

:smoke:

[patsopinion]

if you want to fuck her then u shud at least offer

[debit]

generally someone will grab the check and try to pay for the table. try to pay, but if she's insistent on paying her share, don't be a freak over it.

I agree 100%

[foodcourtdruide]

generally someone will grab the check and try to pay for the table. try to pay, but if she's insistent on paying her share, don't be a freak over it.

I agree, and she may insist on treating next time, just go with it. You're not her daddy or her husband, just treat her like a friend. I have the same moral conundrum sometimes, but in the end I always find my compulsion to pay as sexist.

[MobCounty]

that means all men should continue to pay for all women they take out, cause lets face it... they all just want to end up in their pants

Exactly times two.

I will help every woman out there. There is no such thing as a female that a man likes as a 'friend' that he would not F if he were single, or experienced a moment of low moral fortitude. There are no exception.

The only exception is when the man 'unwillingly or unwittingly' has to hang out with the woman.

[MobCounty]

Later, I saw her in a club, and offered to buy her a drink. That, apparently, is also something thats not done. She says, "it's not a part of our mating process" and that it's actually an insult to think someone needs a handout and cant take care of themselves. But allowed me to buy her a beer if she could buy me a shot. We ended up hooking up that night.

:smoke:

When's your next trip? :clap:

[ChrisTheCop]

When's your next trip? :clap:

I would go back in a heart beat.
The women over there look like what we consider models.
But because they ALL look like that, theyre AVERAGE, and have that average girl mentality
(aka--theyll talk to me!)

Also, they think Americans are crude, so a nice one catches them off guard. lol.

[Recyclerz]

Iceland too. I tipped my hot waitress and she gave it back to me, explaining that's not done there. Waiting is a real job there with benefits, insurance, even retirement plans.

Later, I saw her in a club, and offered to buy her a drink. That, apparently, is also something thats not done. She says, "it's not a part of our mating process" and that it's actually an insult to think someone needs a handout and cant take care of themselves. But allowed me to buy her a beer if she could buy me a shot. We ended up hooking up that night.

:smoke:

So THAT'S why Chris is the president of the Tri-State Area Sigur Ros fan club. :wink:

[ChrisTheCop]

So THAT'S why Chris is the president of the Tri-State Area Sigur Ros fan club. :wink:

and thats the end of our show, bjork.

[Foster]

I always offer to pick up the check when I eat with a friend, it doesn't matter if its a man or woman. My friends usually do the same.

Except if I know the check is going to be a lot; then I go to the bathroom when I see it coming.:flush:

[Don Stugots]

Men pay the bill. If there are two men, they alternate paying for dinners. Women don't get to be offended, cus' their job is to sit there and eat for free.

Splitting the bill, is for people who eat at Arby's or Cracker Barrel.

dont worry about the bill worry about finding some GHT to slip into her drink

that means all men should continue to pay for all women they take out, cause lets face it... they all just want to end up in their pants


my thoughts exactly.

[earthbrown]

pay it, it is the only thing to do as a man.


K

[Sinestro]

Split it 50/50. Unless she tells you that she'll get it next time you guys go out.

If you invited her, then I say you're kinda obligated to pay if you haven't discussed it with her.


And if she goes to town and buys all the expensive stuff on the menu expecting you to pay for everything, that should be the last time you should take her out (unless you're trying to get with her or something). You're not her soup kitchen.

[Sinestro]

I have dinner tonight with a friend. Yes, it's a Grrl. No, it's platonic. She has a boyfriend, though she broke up with him like 3 times this summer. Crazy Korean chick?

Anyway. My normal compulsion is to pay for the table. I'm worried though that if I offer to pay for her that I'll send some weird message by mistake. Also, I've been wondering if you're supposed to pay for every girl you eat dinner with, or if that's a stereotype/sexist thing. I know this should be on a case-by-case basis, but it's been a general rule for me to assume that I ought to pay for 'em.

And exactly which goddamned culture is it that gets offended if you tip a waitress?

Thoughts/Prayers would be appreciated.


So how did it go?

[ChrisTheCop]

So how did it go?

You only gave him a minute!

But yeah... didja get laid?

[Don Stugots]

did she hob your knob?

[ChrisTheCop]

Did she give old one eye a ride to the optometrist?

[Sinestro]

How were the clams?

[Don Stugots]

Did she wax the helmet?

[ChrisTheCop]

Did she demonstrate her impression of Palmela Handerson?

[Don Stugots]

Did you round third?

[ChrisTheCop]

Did she use your testosterone treat as Tijuana toothpaste?

[Don Stugots]

Can we smell your fingers?

[ChrisTheCop]

Didja park the beef bus in tuna town or not???

[Don Stugots]

Did you make her lay in the wet spot?

[ChrisTheCop]

Did she get a stick in her candy apple?

[Don Stugots]

Did she take it in the poop shoot?

[earthbrown]

Did she take it in the poop shoot?

that usually takes more than dinner, thats dinner and shots!!!


K

[ChrisTheCop]

Didja bury any of the following?:

The baldy?
The general?
The baby leg?
The bone?
The Weasel?
The weenie?

[Don Stugots]

that usually takes more than dinner, thats dinner and shots!!!


K

you never know.

[ChrisTheCop]

half an hour, NiCE. I guess I win.

[DarkHippie]

Did you make her eat the Leather Cheerio?

[Sinestro]

Did she cook you breakfast?

[SatCam]

Did you pay for the meal?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

If u are single and not gay, you pay












unless she is ugly

[lleeder]

Pay for her.

[lleeder]

If u are single and not gay, you pay












unless she is ugly

I can picture that being rapped by Crazed.

[sailor]

If u are single and not gay, you pay












unless she is ugly

how would you know what the un-gay do, pit-shaver?

:king:

[Friday]

i ALWAYS pull out my wallet to pay for my share when out with any friend... even with a boyfriend. and even just to leave tip. some people i know will never let me pay... and some i know appreciate me being able to pay for my share.

these days, even the friends i would go dutch with are more than happy to pay... because they know i take care of my friends when i have expendable cash.

but i think that if she is just a friend ... and it isnt her birthday or an especially pricey restaurant that you have invited her to.... then she should be ok with paying.

if you decide to pay, however, that just makes you a hell of a nice guy... and that can bring perks in the trust area.... or the other, more fun areas.... depending on how your relationship progresses.

[K.C.]

This is quite the complicated question. My answers are as follows:

Male friend
No, except in the 'I have no cash scenario'

Female friend, not interested in romantically
Depends on the expense of the meal relative to the money I can spend. Most likely, though, I'd pick up the tab.

Female friend, romantically interested
Yes, but I would at least like the offer to pay...I don't like it when it's assumed. Even if she does assume, though, I'll likely pay, but keep that in the back of mind as something that annoys me.

If I have no cash
Yes, generally, I'll just drop a 'I'll put it on my card, you can get me later' sort of thing. I

If I have cash
There will be varying amounts. Say the bill is $64 and I have a fifty, yet it's evenly split tab in terms of what's been ordered...I'll probably drop the fifty, and just ask for a little bit from the other party.

If I'm with a group of three or more friends (male or female)
Unless I've been at the casino, and finished up a few hundy, we're splitting that tab or someone's getting a fork in the eye.

[Sinestro]

The dude specifically said it was a platonic relationship:innocent:, but if she ordered the lobster.........:devil2:

[Don Stugots]

The dude specifically said it was a platonic relationship:innocent:, but if she ordered the lobster.........:devil2:

then she has to put out.

[Sinestro]

How about if she invites another female friend. Do you pay for both of them??? Since he's such a nice guy.

[thejives]

We ended up hooking up that night. :smoke:

Wait. Hold on.

someone on .net got laid?

[1234Dracula]

Wait. Hold on.

someone on .net got laid?

Don't worry. I'm sure he's still a virgin in this country.

[thejives]

Don't worry. I'm sure he's still a virgin in this country.

Thanks. :breathing through paper bag:

[bigredd]

On what grounds did you ask her to dinner? If it was to cheer her up after a rough patch then you tell her that in a round about way while picking up the check...just wanted to let you know that we're not all assholes type deal. If she feels like blowing you that's her bag...bad pun not intended but recognized.

[ChrisTheCop]

Wait. Hold on.

someone on .net got laid?

Don't worry. I'm sure he's still a virgin in this country.

Thanks. :breathing through paper bag:

Another saturday night, and I aint got nobody.

you both will be happy to know.


Where the fuck is CCC to tell us....the REST of the story?

http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/GIFSANDJPGS/DEVIL29.JPG

[SatCam]

guys -- I only pick up the tab if im feeling lucky or if they picked up the tab in the past

girls -- I always pay............................................... . and then make a lame joke about "desert"

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Sorry for the dealay folks didn't mean to leave ya hangin let me tell ya,

[jonyrotn]

that means all men should continue to pay for all women they take out, cause lets face it... they all just want to end up in their pants
Yup..Wanna go out to dinner with me?




I always pay, 100% of the time..If she gives you any shit just tell her you don't want her dirty money or tell her she can pay for breakfast, that will knock her off ballance long enough for you to grab the bill..Once you have the bill you have the power..At this point you can tell her the waiter thought she was so beautiful that he gave you guys the meal for free, or some other charming shit like that..
If you're having cash issues, wait till she's bombed then take her half plus a little extra for your troubles out of her purse..