You see Ron, you've really had a wonderful life

[Judge Smails]

I'm not sure if this has been covered before. If perchance it has, then I offer my sincere apologies to the online community.

Here goes: On more than one occasion Ron has mentioned how he was very sick as a child and almost died. How would this have affected the lives of those around him?

Here's how I see it playing out:

Todd Hilliard was forced to move back in with his parents after the cancellation of The Ron Diaz Funtime Happy Morning Zooapalooza Show due to abysmal ratings. After an incident that occured during his bi-monthly driveway hose-down something snapped and he brutally beat both of his parents with a mint-condition, still in the box, original Batmobile. Once his parents obtained a restraining order against him, he was forced to move to Miami where he turned tricks on the streets of South Beach in order to survive. He died of complications from AIDS in 1998.

David McDonald died of hypothermia while sitting in his car while parked on the West Side of Manhattan after "running away" from his parents' home as an adult. He was found with a Ranch 1 french fry cup on his penis and Don and Mike playing on the radio.

Earl Douglas is currently the PD and CEO of 102.7 WBRC in New York, the premier all black radio station in the nation, which he, and his close personal friend Spike Lee, bought from CBS radio in 2002. He is currently married to Beyonce Knowles and has three children. He is also on the advisory committee to elect Barack Obama and has been offered a cabinet position in a possible Obama administration.

Mikeyboy worked through his internet and satelite radio addiction and committed himself to his legal career. In 1998 he became Attorney General of NY and in 2006 was elected Governor. He was forced to step down in 2008 due to a scandal involving his arbitrary banning of certain state employees which was apparently done on a whim for his own amusement.

Just Jon started a financial information website which is credited for bringing about the largest boom economy in the the history of the word and helped spark what has been termed "The New American Century".

What do you guys see happening to the various lives that have been touched by Mr. Bennington?

[A.J.]

Molly's Cupcakes went out of business within a year.

[EliSnow]

Just Jon started a financial information website which is credited for bringing about the largest boom economy in the the history of the word and helped spark what has been termed "The New American Century".


No, this is what would have happened if Legos didn't exist.

[MIKEYDAKEN]

Molly's Cupcakes went out of business within a year.

and with that the cubs never make the post season

[Furtherman]

Mooch would be shoveling peat.

[Dougie Brootal]

Judge Smails: Threw Ass Play out there, touched his son's jizz and then pulled down his pants and exposed himself to a 13 year old girl, and no one was there to make a note of it.

[Mullenax]

Everyone would be wearing fabric pants, never knowing the true freedom of smoke pants.

[Dougie Brootal]

original lilly and jivin got back together, via myspace, and she was accidently killed while beig choked and punched in the face by jivin during one of their depaved sex sessions. jivin is currently awaiting trial for manslaughter and sodomy in clinton correctional facility.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Harry Elvis: Get's his own HBO special named Sweatpants

Iris: never born

Paulo: some other DJ's glutton for punishment

Wackbag: was forced to make an Opie Line of the Day thread that eclipses 2 Pages in 4 years

[drjoek]

Hottub remained a Creep.

[Furtherman]

Wackbag: was forced to make an Opie Line of the Day thread that eclipses 2 Pages in 4 years

Whoever said you weren't funny is a god damn liar.

[Furtherman]

The following was heard outside a 7-11 between a payphone and a bee-infested trashcan.

Oh My God!!! My Chick Just Called And Told Me Her Really Hott Asian Friend Is Down With A Threesome, With Us, Me Included!!!!! Holyshit!holyshit!holyshit!

Yea... they'll buy that. First person I know that comes along....

[djjd]

Mooch would be shoveling peat.

no he'd be giving interviews on dutch tv (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SirutCHZ-QI)

[Dougie Brootal]

The following was heard outside a 7-11 between a payphone and a bee-infested trashcan.

you cold heartless bastard...

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Federal agent Hicks, svelt and nubile, looks nothing like the narc that arrests Henry Hill in Goodfellas. He burns Peruvian drug fields in his spare time while rocking out to the Eagles Greatest Hits volume 1.

Albert 'Shotgun Al' Dukes is the most feared man in town. Nobody disrespects him because of his tendency to hulk out and knock motherfuckers on their ass. He's known for his catch-phrase I'll Sue You!!!™ right before he verifies that his fist in your face is not a bit. He would later star in a Commando remake.

Billy 'White Shoes' Staples is the quarterback we all wish we could be. He later is known for being the oldest living man in the world 200 years from now. He credits his longevity with his healthy lifestyle and has written several very legible compendiums that have saved millions of lives from self-destruction.

[MIKEYDAKEN]

GAIL-O still alive and not crazy

[disneyspy]

the disney spy-commited suicide after bein at the same company for 20 years
and livin in poverty

[drjoek]

Marc with a c replaced Al Jaffe at MAD Magazine updating "snappy answers to stupid questions". Makes a fortune pursues his true love dancing,real hard. Sadly happytypinggirl still won't dance with him. Dies unfullfilled.

[Hottub]

Joseph K. dropped out of dental school to follow The Dead.
He never heeded the warnings about the Brown Acid.

RIP, Joe.

[Mullenax]

Men everywhere go wanting for a superhero with the powers of a man and the problems of a man.

[Foster]

the Crazed One stands outside a smokeshop for hours each day staring at a payphone.
he is constantly overcome by an unexplained feeling of deja vue

[patsopinion]

patsopinion never dreamed of becoming an intern, he lived a numb and somewhat fulfilling existance as a bag boy at safeway

[drjoek]

Guy loses a cell phone, must pay extravigant replacement charges. Spends weeks trying to to build his address book.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Marc with a c replaced Al Jaffe at MAD Magazine updating "snappy answers to stupid questions". Makes a fortune pursues his true love dancing,real hard. Sadly happytypinggirl still won't dance with him. Dies unfullfilled.

Joe K makes jokes that aren't completely inside that baffles all else who reads them. Nor does he run bits into ground, and is Mikeyboy's favorite poster. His wife Casey thinks the world of him, and nobody will ever feel joek fatigue. Gladly eats shit on request. His epitaph will read "Paltalk"- and nothing else. Nothing else.

[Marc with a c]

franklyn has a weekly article for the economist

sheepy never went to prom, remained a virgin into his early to mid 20s

evedder remains dormant on fez.net and actually leads a normal life without all this internet weirdness.

[GreatAmericanZero]

Tommy Z-man will be the least funniest/talented man on earth


oh wait, thats the way it is now

[Marc with a c]

dave and casey wouldn't have met, and on that same level i wouldn't have shaken judge smails' hand.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Armand: Would not have to use a Fake American Name like Kevin to fit in

[epo]

King Hippos: Wouldn't have to live in a world in which his brother is much more famous than him.

[patsopinion]

the blacks would have gotten away with it without having anyone to blame them

[suggums]

Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison: Still touring!

Gail O: Happily married to Paul and sober for nearly two decades. They have three children, one of whom is severely retarded.

106.7 FM in DC: Still hasn't filled that evening slot.

Opie and Anthony: Friendless despite their minor success, Opie commit suicide in 2004. Anthony was killed in a shootout with police less than a month later.

[patsopinion]

fez would still be beating up retarded chicks and coming home to find bobo working in his moms bathroom

[Marc with a c]

sonny fox would have one radio show

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Fez and Dave would have shared popcorn at Dark Knight and Iron Man

[patsopinion]

Fez and Dave would have shared popcorn at Dark Knight and Iron Man

fez doesnt know how to share

[RADIO-SHARK]

A mentally disturbed jingle writer named Sleeves would be LOCKED UP instead of recording CDs.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

the person above me would be calling in the Bob Grant show with prank calls

[RADIO-SHARK]

the person above me would be calling in the Bob Grant show with prank calls



Bob Grant...who,s he???

[patsopinion]

Bob Grant...who,s he???

eeeeexactly

[Enabler]

Forrest Gump 2: Wins 9 Academy Awards


Shirley Phelps Roper: Still insane.

[robot artist]

Lilly: On the professional front, Lilly was a wunderkind on the international stage - taking over her father's business at the age of seventeen - by twentyone she'd opened international companion restaurants in New York, Los Angeles, Toronto, and London (but unsurprisingly not one in the Muslim world).

Her fame as a top chef with a foul mouth led to that career in television she'd always longed for, where she created and hosted multiple hit shows - Lilly's Kitchen Nightmares, Hell's Kitchen Hath No Fury, and most popular of all, The Vroom-Vroom Room (uncensored on cable), which explored Lilly's penchant for combining hot sex and hot cooking.

[PapaBear]

Chichester 15, Sun Valley 20.

[patsopinion]

without ron bennington carney would be considered a respectable vocation

[Slumbag]

Lenay D would have a normal childhood, instead of being forced against her will to do a radio show.

[PapaBear]

Lenay D would have a normal childhood, instead of being forced against her will to do a radio show.
That's debatable, but she probably wouldn't be stalked so much by a certain someone.

[patsopinion]

That's debatable, but she probably wouldn't be stalked so much by a certain someone.

damit lordjezo
first sheepy
now lenay

when will your tyranny end

[Sue_Bender]

Either way, I still shit standing up.


Fuck you, Queer Cakes!!

[patsopinion]

Either way, I still shit standing up.


Fuck you, Queer Cakes!!

hrm
strange reaction

u having problems sleeping again?
go fer a walk
drink some erbal tea

[PapaBear]

That's debatable, but she probably wouldn't be stalked so much by a certain someone.

damit lordjezo
first sheepy
now lenay

when will your tyranny end
Uhh... What?:unsure:

[patsopinion]

Uhh... What?:unsure:

i thought jeezo was stalking lennay?...

[Furtherman]

There would be a large surplus of cigars.

[MIKEYDAKEN]

DON VITO never goes into that food coma runs for governor of pa and bam margera is put to death for his stupid stunts.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Now we're just getting silly.

[MIKEYDAKEN]

Now we're just getting silly.

hey i can dream can't i?