I have a problem with "letting go"

[El Mudo]

My GF and I broke up close to two months ago now, and I find that I really still just can't "let go". Please note that I am not stalking her, I have not seen her/talked to her at all since things went down.

Mostly I just find myself thinking of her when I'm trying to sleep mostly. I want NOT to think about her, but a lot of times I just can't help myself. I try to focus on other things, but she always comes right back, to the point where I'm not getting much sleep any more. I guess it kinda helps now that she's seeing some other guy (I slept well for the first time in a long time last night). Trying to completely forget about her hasn't really worked all that well...I still get reminded of her from different things or sometimes randomly.

I've never really been all that able at letting things go. I internalize pretty much everything, and it always consumes my thoughts because I never forget anything (blessing and a curse).

Is it maybe that I need to find more things to consume my time (like more hobbies/activities)? Or is it indicative of some other deeper problem?

[epo]

How long did you date her?

[JerseyRich]

This is a pretty common thing.

I have had this happen...
People say, time heals all wounds...That's bullshit. Ya know what heals wounds? Another chick!
You'll stop thinking about her when your memories start to fade and you realize you are falling in love with someone else.

We all carry baggage from relationship to relationship. Just make sure it's carry on.

PM me if you just need someone to vent to. God knows I've had a rough couple of years and have plenty to bitch about...

But it gets better. Trust me.

[ChrisBrown]

My GF and I broke up close to two months ago now, and I find that I really still just can't "let go". Please note that I am not stalking her, I have not seen her/talked to her at all since things went down.

Mostly I just find myself thinking of her when I'm trying to sleep mostly. I want NOT to think about her, but a lot of times I just can't help myself. I try to focus on other things, but she always comes right back, to the point where I'm not getting much sleep any more. I guess it kinda helps now that she's seeing some other guy (I slept well for the first time in a long time last night). Trying to completely forget about her hasn't really worked all that well...I still get reminded of her from different things or sometimes randomly.

I've never really been all that able at letting things go. I internalize pretty much everything, and it always consumes my thoughts because I never forget anything (blessing and a curse).

Is it maybe that I need to find more things to consume my time (like more hobbies/activities)? Or is it indicative of some other deeper problem?

Sounds like you are going through normal breakup feelings. I wouldn't over complicate things by worrying about deeper problems at the moment. When I have gone through break ups, I have found it helpful to remind myself that I am note alone. Everyone feels just as shitty when they lose someone as you do. Just like everyone else, you will get over it and move on. During my last break up, music helped. I listened to Blood on the Tracks and Sea Changes a lot. In fact, you might want to start a break up album thread.

[El Mudo]

How long did you date her?

About 3 monfs...seems short, but it was also my first REALLY serious relationship...the first one that really went beyond more than a couple dates and into "boy friend/girl friend" territory

Its not only with relationships, its also with everything else a lot of the time...I feel sometimes like i'm living out the song "I shall be released"

*And so I remember every face....of every man who put me here*

[JimmieHats]

Young?

I saw a girl for two and a half years, we broke up two years ago. Shit still comes up from time to time. It happens, especially when you commit yourself so much to one person...

[LaBoob]

Embrace the mourning period... you'll be doing yourself and the next girl you're with a huge injustice if you move on before you're ready. Don't dwell... but just take your time getting back to normal. When you meet someone new you want to be ready and you want to know you're ready.

[JimmieHats]

Embrace the mourning period... you'll be doing yourself and the next girl you're with a huge injustice if you move on before you're ready. Don't dwell... but just take your time getting back to normal. When you meet someone new you want to be ready and you want to know you're ready.
Chuuuuuch. I've made that mistake. Messed up something that could have been real good because of it.

[Ritalin]

I don't think there's any "normal" amount of time to feel bad after a relationship goes south. Just ride it out. It will get bettter.

[disneyspy]

bein honest with my close friends and tellin em my true feelins helped me
my last xgf dropped me just before xmas and i obsessed over what i did wrong for way too long
my friends gfs set me up on dates,they were good therapy,the dates ddidnt go anywhere but i no longer feel like it was all my fault

[angelinad128]

It's only been two months...it's very normal for this to happen. Every day though it will get less and less and the thought will be fast. Just hang in there.

[Furtherman]

Know what helps? At least it has for me... next time you think of her, just realize, that she's somewhere else right now, and she's NOT thinking of you.

And other activities or hobbies help. Get some.

[A.J.]

Know what helps? At least it has for me... next time you think of her, just realize, that she's somewhere else right now, and she's NOT thinking of you.

I wish I had gotten that advice 15 years ago so I wouldn't have wasted my time possibly other opportunities. Man, I wish I could go back in time and smack the shit out of myself.

[Melrapuo]

Dated a girl for almost two years. She left me for another guy. Bitched and moaned for about a month, then gave up. She left the guy she left me for, hooked up with another guy two weeks later. All during that time, she led me on.

Some people have told me that it may be a "Grass Is Greener" type of thing. But ya know what? No matter what she said, actions speak greater than words.

It's been a little over 3.5 months since the break up, over a month since I talked to her. I still think about her, but I'm trying my best to let go. I've had other girls give me their numbers, some show interest, but I'm not gonna move onto new girls if I still have feelings for the one that left me.

Give yourself time to heal, what you're experiencing is normal. Its ok though, just know that you aren't alone. The better you make yourself, the better you can make your next relationship. Don't even sell yourself short, and take your ex off that damn pedestal.

In time, you'll look back on this and think "Damn, wish I did this early on." Everything gets better, even if it feels like it doesn't. :thumbup:

[Legit Bill]

http://site-images.ws/cust/78908/crown-royal-purple.jpg + time = Cure all.

[JimmieHats]

That's a damn good point, Bill.

[Friday]

I wish I had gotten that advice 15 years ago so I wouldn't have wasted my time possibly other opportunities. Man, I wish I could go back in time and smack the shit out of myself.

i'd be happy to smack the shit out of you now if you'd like.

:smile:

[jennysmurf]

i'd be happy to smack the shit out of you now if you'd like.

:smile:

He'd probably like that. Animal.

[A.J.]

i'd be happy to smack the shit out of you now if you'd like.

:smile:

He'd probably like that. Animal.

Tempting offer but remember the forum...

[Doctor Z]

Dude, 2 months is nothing. Give yourself some time. It took me 5 or 6 months just for me to not walk around constantly wishing cancer on my ex.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

You'll be fine. Nothing wrong with ya except maybe you care too much and take too much stock into what others think. I completely understand the internalization thing, do what you can to minimize that because it's completely useless for a functional human being.

Think of this as like some kinda emotional root canal. You got dug up in a real sensitive area, nerves are exposed, and healing takes a long painful time. That's also normal. Just don't put too much stock into negative thoughts/feelings, or as I like to call 'em, Fezzies.