A Moral Connundrum What should I do?

[drjoek]

Im looking for a little advice here I would appreciate consideration.
I am logged onto facebook, It allows me to comunicate with a few people including my son at college. Im not there to troll for underage girls. My daughter has an account too. I was scanning one of her friend list friends and came across one of her friends from grammer school who she really isn't close friends with. So I'm browsing the girls profile pics. Alright I'll admit shes a cute chick but thats not the point. BUT among her many pics are a a couple pictures of her toking up on a big old bong.

So the moral connundrum.
Do I narc her out to her folks?
Do I drop a picture in the mail annimously?
Do I mind my own business?

This is a 17 yo girl and from all the pics I see shes not on a great chosen path in life. I only know the family from PTA in grammer school but they are nice people.

Only serious replys would be appreciated

[Furtherman]

Mind your own business.

A few party pictures does not make a delinquent.

She's 17! Of course she's hittin' the bong. Most do.

[Don Stugots]

look away and forget about what you seen.

[dino_electropolis]

Tough call....a few years back, id tell ya to mind your business (especially if this girl is no longer a close friend with your daughter, thus presenting no threat of effecting her)....but if the parents are cpu savvy, i would send them a link to the the pic....printing the pic alone is sufficient, but the worst thing about it is her complete openess online, sharing pics of her doing illegal (albeit, greeeeeeat) things with reckless abandon.

If you know the parents email, set up a fake account on hotmail or wherever, and send the link.

[boobieman]

I say nothing. You do stuff when your younger and sometimes it is not the smartest thing to do. Heck when I was 17 I did pot laced with Angel Dust. Stupidest thing I ever did. If she is not hurting anyone else, no big deal. Let her have her mistakes and she will deal with it.

Maybe the pic could be a fake too.

Find any other pics that are sexy..please post them...Sorry I said that.


SSSEEEYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[mendyweiss]

I Would Leave Out The Parents For Now

Can Your Daughter Talk To Her And Tell Her Those Pics Are Not THe Most Appropriate Pics For FaceBook ? See If She Can Nicely Ask Her To Remove Them.

[Furtherman]

If you know the parents email, set up a fake account on hotmail or wherever, and send the link.

I have to disagree. Not only would you be a rat, but you'd be a rat who didn't have a balls to face them yourselves.

Then the girl, and the parents, would always be wondering who did that - and they would wonder if they were still being watched. That's more creepy than some pictures of what 17 year olds do.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

mind your business


parents may take it as an insult or that you are creepy and are stalking her through facebook


kids will be kids, if she is bragging through her pictures, she will eventually get caught

[Misteriosa]

stay out of it... just make sure you know what your girl is doing...

[JPMNICK]

def do not say anything. it is not worth the headache.

and maybe the parents know about it and are ok with it.

[Knowledged_one]

I would say just let it be let her own parents find it out on their own

Eventually these kinds of things come back to haunt these people in the end anyway

Which now thinking about it, maybe you could have your daughter send her a message as these kinds of pictures get back to colleges/jobs applied for and will cost this girl

If your daughter sends the message and she doesnt take it down there is no more you can do

Remember you cant save everyone

[dino_electropolis]

I have to disagree. Not only would you be a rat, but you'd be a rat who didn't have a balls to face them yourselves.

Then the girl, and the parents, would always be wondering who did that - and they would wonder if they were still being watched. That's more creepy than some pictures of what 17 year olds do.

I hear ya....its just that kids aint like they use to be like when i was a kid....and i was a kid like only 10 years ago.

Sure, me and my freinds would smoke some weed, but we didnt have the shit that kids have easy access to today: meth, coke, guns, etc.....

If this girl only smoked weed once in a while, i doubt she would be posting pics of it online....to me, it seems like if she dont care about a little weed, she is (or could easily get into) doing harder shit.

[oldladyfacepuncher]

not your kid

It's just pot

Good luck explaining to her parents how you found the picture.

[drjoek]

Tough call....a few years back, id tell ya to mind your business (especially if this girl is no longer a close friend with your daughter, thus presenting no threat of effecting her)....but if the parents are cpu savvy, i would send them a link to the the pic....printing the pic alone is sufficient, but the worst thing about it is her complete openess online, sharing pics of her doing illegal (albeit, greeeeeeat) things with reckless abandon.

If you know the parents email, set up a fake account on hotmail or wherever, and send the link.
I could just print it and drop it in the mail I don't know them enough for email but their address is in the book
I say nothing. You do stuff when your younger and sometimes it is not the smartest thing to do. Heck when I was 17 I did pot laced with Angel Dust. Stupidest thing I ever did. If she is not hurting anyone else, no big deal. Let her have her mistakes and she will deal with it.

Maybe the pic could be a fake too.

Find any other pics that are sexy..please post them...Sorry I said that.


SSSEEEYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
From what I can see its not a fake. the sexy pics theyre there too this chicks got all the bases covered

I Would Leave Out The Parents For Now

Can Your Daughter Talk To Her And Tell Her Those Pics Are Not THe Most Appropriate Pics For FaceBook ? See If She Can Nicely Ask Her To Remove Them.
My daughter isn't more then facebook friends they don't go to the same school or anything. I
I have to disagree. Not only would you be a rat, but you'd be a rat who didn't have a balls to face them yourselves.

Then the girl, and the parents, would always be wondering who did that - and they would wonder if they were still being watched. That's more creepy than some pictures of what 17 year olds do.
I can live with being a rat if Im doing them some good but your right who knows if they would consider it good I for one would like to know this is going on thats why I brought it up

mind your business


parents may take it as an insult or that you are creepy and are stalking her through facebook


kids will be kids, if she is bragging through her pictures, she will eventually get caught
Yeah she seems to be on that path

stay out of it... just make sure you know what your girl is doing...
My wife an I have a very nice open relationship with her and drugs an alcohol are discussed openly. Shes an elite athlete and is very much adverse to drinking and drugs So I feel pretty confident we're on top of that

def do not say anything. it is not worth the headache.

and maybe the parents know about it and are ok with it.


Good point

[oh_kee_pa]

i'd be willing to bet if they are online they are joke pic's meant to get a laugh...

and if you do rat her out i dont see where anything good can come out of it for you...
how do you answer the question "why are you looking at pictures of my 17 year old daughter?"

[drjoek]

i'd be willing to bet if they are online they are joke pic's meant to get a laugh...

and if you do rat her out i dont see where anything good can come out of it for you...
how do you answer the question "why are you looking at pictures of my 17 year old daughter?"

I feel pretty confident these are not joke pics they are captioned and everything and lets just say they are not stand alone bad behavior pics among her national honor society pics. They are in the middle of all kinds of sketchy behavior.

The "why am I looking at her pics" point is really hitting home

[Furtherman]

The best way to communicate with someone, other than face to face, is over the phone.

Drop the facebook, it's for kids.

[FUNKMAN]

there could just be flavored tobacco in that bong...

[KatPw]

Im looking for a little advice here I would appreciate consideration.
I am logged onto facebook, It allows me to comunicate with a few people including my son at college. Im not there to troll for underage girls. My daughter has an account too. I was scanning one of her friend list friends and came across one of her friends from grammer school who she really isn't close friends with. So I'm browsing the girls profile pics. Alright I'll admit shes a cute chick but thats not the point. BUT among her many pics are a a couple pictures of her toking up on a big old bong.

So the moral connundrum.
Do I narc her out to her folks?
Do I drop a picture in the mail annimously?
Do I mind my own business?

This is a 17 yo girl and from all the pics I see shes not on a great chosen path in life. I only know the family from PTA in grammer school but they are nice people.

Only serious replys would be appreciatedI think this is a great opportunity to talk to your daughter about the dangers of using cannabis before the brain is done forming, and the illegality of it and repercussions due to it's illegality. This is an opportunity to reinforce the information she already knows. Talk to her about the picture of her friend, and why seeing a picture like this on a social networking site alarms you. Ask your daughter her thoughts on her acquaintance's behavior, and if she feels if this is a one time thing or if this girl is truly heading down a bad path. Perhaps your daughter would be willing to be a good influence on this girl, especially if she is the type of girl that is easily swayed by peer pressure. I don't advise dropping the dime on this girl, if you do not know her parents you don't know what type of people they are. It might bring the girl a world of hurt that could not be predicted.

[Knowledged_one]

Just send her a facebook message with the line Dave Chappelle said in Half Baked - Down with Dope Up with Hope

http://img.printfection.com/14/99811/GG3LA.jpg

[Furtherman]

Kids are uncomfortable with their own parents checking up on them. You bring up another girl's behavior... one that she's not even close friends with anymore... you'll go from dear 'ol dad to creepy 'ol dad pretty quickly.

Stugots said it best... look away and forget it.

[Foster]

heres's what you do

invite the parents over
at some point bring up the subject of facebook
then say something like "hey! i wonder if your daughter has a facebook account"
then go to the computer

job done

[MisterSmith]

My wife an I have a very nice open relationship with her and drugs an alcohol are discussed openly. Shes an elite athlete and is very much adverse to drinking and drugs So I feel pretty confident we're on top of that


In that case, I would bring it up with your daughter. Something like "I saw X's profile on Facebook and noticed some questionable pics. Do you think she is OK?"

Your daughter might know more about the situation than you do, and if she is as standup as you seem to be, then your daughter might be able to broach the issue with her friend and have more impact than going to her parents.

I applaud your thoughts on this, but with teenagers things can be tricky. Going to the parents might backfire. But if your daughter isn't able to provide info and/or isn't in a position to talk with the girl then you might want to go to the parents.

[RhinoinMN]

there could just be flavored tobacco in that bong...

But she is still only 17. Tobacco would be illegal.

[Furtherman]

But if your daughter isn't able to provide info and/or isn't in a position to talk with the girl then you might want to go to the parents.

Yikes... this is another family we're talking about, right? Not yours. If this girl was a niece or a cousin, then you have some right to go to the parents, because it's YOUR family, and it's your responsibility to keep it together.

I'll bet if you go back on facebook and cruise around, you'll find a dozen more girls from your town on there and they'll be pictures on their pages that might seem, to YOU, like "the wrong path" (which is really presumptuous on your part by the way).

Are you going to tell your daughter about all of them? Are you going to contact their parents? You going to safety monitor the internet? What about all the stuff they're doing and there are no pictures being taken?

See? Let it go. Do not get involved in something that is none of your business.

[MisterSmith]

Yikes... this is another family we're talking about, right? Not yours. If this girl was a niece or a cousin, then you have some right to go to the parents, because it's YOUR family, and it's your responsibility to keep it together.

I'll bet if you go back on facebook and cruise around, you'll find a dozen more girls from your town on there and they'll be pictures on their pages that might seem, to YOU, like "the wrong path" (which is really presumptuous on your part by the way).

Are you going to tell your daughter about all of them? Are you going to contact their parents? You going to safety monitor the internet? What about all the stuff they're doing and there are no pictures being taken?

See? Let it go. Do not get involved in something that is none of your business.

But if it something that is bothering Doc enough to post on here, it must be nagging at him pretty hard. Of course we can't save everybody, but if there is an existing relationship and it seems important enough to consider interfering it might be worth the personal peace of mind.

However, I also think that interfering is a last resort.

[frye hole]

she could have been doing a lot worse in the pictures.
ignore it.

[extracheese]

I think you should send the pic to her parents. Your erring on the side of caution. If you do nothing and the kid grows up into a problem, then her family will wish someone had tipped them off when she was still reachable.
If you send it and its not welcome, so no big deal - no harm really done.

If I was a parent and my child was acting that way, and I didnt know about it, I would LOVE to be tipped off, even from a stranger.

Your doing that parent a favor. As for the kid being ratted on, they are still a minor and have no rights as far dangerous behavior goes.

[Houston]

Would you say something if she was drinking a beer?

Definite no no, mind your own business.

[Caseyelan]

stay out of it... just make sure you know what your girl is doing...

this.

[sr71blackbird]

I have seen similar pics and sometimes it is just a pose the girl took to lead people to think she does that stuff, so others think she is a "bad ass". Its like guys posing in front of hot rods or making gang signs or mugging for the camera or whatever.

[drjoek]

Based on the feedback and further thought I think Im going to leave this alone.
Thanks for all the input.

[Dougie Brootal]

whatever you do... send us all a facebook friend request.

[grlNIN]

None yo' bidness.

Don't be a sneaky creeperton, stop snooping around your kids' and their friends profiles.

[IamPixie]

Mind your own business.

A few party pictures does not make a delinquent.

She's 17! Of course she's hittin' the bong. Most do.

what she said. didn't you smoke pot when you were 17? If not, you were a square I'm afraid.

[MacVittie]

If another parent had similar information about your child, what would you want them to do?

[jonyrotn]

This whole situation reminds of a silly saying my mom used to lay on my siblings and I when we would tattle tale on one another..

She would line us all up against the wall in a dark room and shout at the top of her lungs, "You guys wanna be little bitches!?! Because in this house snitches get stitches!!".. Then the snitch-ee got to put a potato sack over the head of the snitch-er and whip him or her with a bicycle chain..

Your deal may not fit exactly into my "mom" example but if you do open your pie hole and drop dime on this chick, I'll loan her my bicycle chain and potato sack and even hold her bong while she whips you like you're in an Alex Haley novel..

I say, be a fuckin man..Just shut your mouth and try and bang
her..You know what she likes, offer her some weed and some nitrous and have a party in her pants..

Just sayin..

[Mullenax]

If she's dumb enough to have these pictures on her facebook for everyone to see, she's dumb enough to get herself caught. You don't need to intervene. She's almost an adult anyway.

[ahhdurr]

From what I can see its not a fake. the sexy pics theyre there too this chicks got all the bases covered


Pls send link!! I have many BMW.

[Sue_Bender]

Your deal may not fit exactly into my "mom"

:lol:

[SatCam]

late response here but, she's 17, and I think she's old enuff to make her own decisions. we're not talking about a pre-teen here. if her parents found out, what do you think they will do? there is really nothing they can do, the girl made the dumb decision already. we're talking about pot here