Fez's secret speculation thread

[drjoek]

So what do you think is Fez's big secret and when will it be revealed. Guess away

[Badinia]

He seems happy about it, but definitely doesn't want the news out yet:

Fez is pregnant. He's gonna be a beautiful Mommy.

[landarch]

I hate that I have to listen to the show via recorded midnight replay. The next day.


Dammit.

[boobieman]

Fez's secret is he is actually married to a women in Niagara falls Ontario Canada....They wear the same size clothes.

Linger LLLLLOOOONNNGGEEERRRRR


SSSSYEYEYAAAAAAAAA

[boobieman]

Fez's secret is that Fez is actually ESD...so all the word counts are wrong...Fez actually says more on the show then anyone else....Ouch?


SSEYEYAAAAAAAA

[TheGameHHH]

EDIT: My line was already taken so im removing it, fuck me.

[epo]

We'll know on October 23, 2008.

I'm sure the Sirius listeners know it already. I can't wait for that 9 day delay to catch up.

[SP1!]

With ronnies line about banana splits I thought about deserts and thought fez might have went on a date with his desert sharer and he has told ronnie he has fallen for him.....

[disneyspy]

he got a monkey heart this past weekend and is off his meds

[zildjian361]

Fez's secret is he is actually married to a women in Niagara falls Ontario Canada....They wear the same size clothes.

Linger LLLLLOOOONNNGGEEERRRRR


SSSSYEYEYAAAAAAAAA

not that old gag:sleep:and Babbay booey to you all:tongue:

[jennysmurf]

If Fez had let Ron tell Johnny Fairplay, we'd all know by now.:dry:

[marcpsych]

With ronnies line about banana splits I thought about deserts and thought fez might have went on a date with his desert sharer and he has told ronnie he has fallen for him.....

The most surprising thing about that would not be Fez falling in love but Fez sharing a dessert.

[Meataball23]

Fez popped his ass cherry for 4.5million dollars.

They got a ruler and everything.

[jennysmurf]

Fez popped his ass cherry for 4.5million dollars.

They got a ruler and everything.

I thought Fez WAS the millionaire.

[Meataball23]

I thought Fez WAS the millionaire.

Haha my bad.

ESD got 3.7million dollars from Fez.

They got a ruler and everything.

[disneyspy]

the tag says win a steak,whos buyin it and where do i get to eat it if i tell?
anybudday notice all the spy talk today?

[drjoek]

With confirmation a porterhouse from Smith and Wolinsky will be all yours on me:clap:

[disneyspy]

i dont know shit

[boobieman]

Fez is actually the father to one of Sarah Palin's kids...MMMM Which One Which one....



SSEEEYAYAAAAAA

[brettmojo]

Fez has been cast as Patrick Star in the upcoming live action Sponge Bob Square Pants movie.

[KnoxHarrington]

Oh, when you XM listeners hear what it is in 14-16 days, you're gonna be shocked.

[TooLowBrow]

Fez has been cast as Patrick Star in the upcoming live action Sponge Bob Square Pants movie.

fez wouldnt be caught dead in bikini bottoms... speedo bottoms on the other hand...

[patsopinion]

he peead in someones but

[IamFogHat]

You know what's funny is basically the entire show I was oscillating between 1)listening for subtle hints from Ron that hardcore listeners would get and therefore figure out Fez's secret and 2)that it was one of those real life things that we have no business knowing or wanting to know and Ron was just fucking with Fez knowing it would stay that way. And at this point I'm more inclined to the latter, but the former was fun during the show.

[FunkyDrummer]

He finally used that dinner certificate he got for his birthday...

[Ritalin]

He finally killed his mother.

[jimmyolsenblues]

fez sounded very happy today.....yes I actually believe that fezzie is happier today than last week.
whatever the secret is ....i am happy for Fezzie. I really am.

[MacVittie]

He's seeking treatment to control his incessant pit- and ass-sweating.

[Floppygrandma]

I just want to get a 14-16 day head start on the congrats for mooch...

[AnnoyedGrunt]

Didn't Ron ask if he had called Kathleen yet? I bet Bri-Bri is out and Todd-Todd is in.

[cogsdoc]

My guess is that Fez had a wet dream about Mooch (he had just left when the secret was revealed)

I took significant childish glee in Ron tormenting Fez with the secret all day.

[jennysmurf]

My guess is that Fez had a wet dream about Mooch (he had just left when the secret was revealed)

I took significant childish glee in Ron tormenting Fez with the secret all day.

Me too. Tee hee.

Don't make us bad people.

[alabamatrucker]

After a dinner filled with lots of food and drinks between ron,fez and mooch. They all got drunk and ron talked mooch into fingering fez's hairy arse. :clap:

[Farmer Dave]

I'll bet ESD's gay brother was in town for the funeral. They hooked up and Fez got a nice vroom vroom for himself.

[ahhdurr]

He's got a gun and there's gonna be a riot up in this motherfucker!

[sailor]

i bet it involves a certain southern washer salesman.

[Knowledged_one]

The secret is that Bobo the houseboy is really his dad

[Dash77]

Maybe Coco popped his cherry..Using a dildo..

[CHUCKWAGONCOOK]

With confirmation a porterhouse from Smith and Wolinsky will be all yours on me:clap:
In that case......I've got to give this some thought.
?
?
?
Fez was able to achieve and keep an erection while engaging and finishing a sexual act with a.....WOMAN!:glurps:

[drucifer]

"Ron, I have a huge cock and it's for sale!"

or "Ron, I fucked my niece - FACE!"

[mikeyboy]

Fez adopted Sheepy.

[KingModem]

The Roosevelt Island Diner is running a 2-for-1 early bird supper special.

[deliciousV]

I believe that Miss Fez has taken a lover.......

[DOHO@HOME]

Fez adopted Sheepy.

Do you mean fucked Sheepy

[Baby DEW Year]

Maybe it's not sexual. The secret is ...his real name is Todd! sssshhhhhhhhh

[Dr Steve]

The most surprising thing about that would not be Fez falling in love but Fez sharing a dessert.


ha, I've seen him do it! :smile:

[Earlshog]

After years of hard work Fez has perfected the character "camel toe curtis".... his debut will be Friday on Sirius / Nov 2 on XM

[Ron Marie Douglas]

It's obvious that "Todd" is finally going to be straight with us and tell us about his wife and three kids that live in Westchcester where he coaches little league and attends PTA meetings.

[GreatAmericanZero]

maybe its that Skippy isn't actually a cat...but a 12 year old Korean boy he adopted and is raising as his own

[biozombie]

way to bring the hot back, gaz.

[OurHeroZero]

I think he finally bit the bullet. He's going in to have the plastic surgeon slap a pair of tits and a vag on him.

[vagina envy]

Fez has a pizza in the freezer and he plans on eating it next week while sitting on his shower bench. Its going to be the best.

[keverlast]

Fez is pondering a recent marriage proposal,

[Kaci Jo]

fez saw the dark night

[OGC]

After years of hard work Fez has perfected the character "camel toe curtis".... his debut will be Friday on Sirius / Nov 2 on XM

That's just silly.



Nov 2 is a Sunday.

[Hottub]

No more dial-up.

[~Katja~]

No more dial-up.

you think he may have gone wireless?

that's just outrageous news.

[Bellyfullasnot]

He's moving off Roosevelt Island. Now gimmee my steak!

[Korda]

Ed finally sold a washboard, and the repo men won't be coming for the trailer this month. Financial security in sight, a Tennessee wedding is imminent.


Linger longer.

[Patient zer0]

fez found polups on his ovaries and won't be having children











a booo!

[Boomer]

Fezzy just booked his next vacation and the destination was NOT Florida.

Medium Rare with a crumbled blue cheese encrusting.

[IamFogHat]

fez found polups on his ovaries and won't be having children

a booo!

Ed finally sold a washboard, and the repo men won't be coming for the trailer this month. Financial security in sight, a Tennessee wedding is imminent.


Linger longer.

Fezzy just booked his next vacation and the destination was NOT Florida.

Medium Rare with a crumbled blue cheese encrusting.

He's moving off Roosevelt Island. Now gimmee my steak!

Quadruple boo my friend, quadruple boo.

[PredominantlyWhiteWally]

Maybe it's not sexual. The secret is ...his real name is Todd! sssshhhhhhhhh

NO, DONT TELL MISSES WHATLEY


.....ITS HILLIER!

dont tell them that

[Willmore]

Fez will finally unshackle himself from he comedic black hole that is Ron Bennington and will be joining Howard Stern for the all-new Howard and Fez show, featuring the ass-stylings of Eastside Dave.


To be honest, Howard only wanted ESD, but Fez tagged along.

[PapaBear]

The other day, Ron asked (regarding the secret) "are you back in?". Fez said "no". The closet is way too obvious. So, Fez is finally out of...

The CIA?:unsure:

[Willmore]

By the way, if it is Fez finally saying he is gay, I don't know if we can trust him. He could just do it to avoid the constant speculation/teasing that clearly annoys him. So if he admits it, he might just be trying to avoid all that and not actually have had any sort of sexual awakening.

Though it is possible, it's similar to what Stephen Fry went through - decades of denial and asexuality stemming from lack of confidence and self-loathing before finally admitting his sexuality and living with it.

[djjd]

he confessed his true love for ron, by admitting that he'd made love to a "ron bennington's got his own" cupcake

[biozombie]

I hope it has something to do with the number of dicks in his ass.

[keverlast]

Fez will be gettn a "PACE MAKER" to regulate his fuckn heart.

CONFIRMED

[ChimneyFish]

The world is actually shaped like an isosceles trapezoid.

[CHUCKWAGONCOOK]

HERE IT IS YALL,

The big reveal is that Fez finally got laid. It was a woman. And that woman was his ex-girlfriend from Niagara Falls,Canada. You see, they are back together again.

Congratulations Fez Marie!

[alabamatrucker]

Fez will be gettn a "PACE MAKER" to regulate his fuckn heart.

CONFIRMED


With fez having those stress test completed im wondering if maybe the doctor did tell him he needs a pacemaker to regulate his gay heart. Interesting theory. :sleep:

[Serpico1103]

Someone took him up on his offer, "There's seven dicks in my ass, and there's room for one more."

[Badinia]

Fez and (someone) sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
A Vermont Marriage
Then comes Fez with a hysterical miscarriage

(I mean hysterical as in a product of his mind, not as in funny. There's nothing terribly funny about miscarriages.)

[Serpico1103]

Fez and (someone) sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
A Vermont Marriage
Then comes Fez with a hysterical miscarriage

(I mean hysterical as in a product of his mind, not as in funny. There's nothing terribly funny about miscarriages.)

I don't know, did you hear Earl's miscarriage story?

[earlsgmaclit]

Fez got aquitted on all child molestion charges

[yojimbo7248]

he's joining the Brother Wease show.

[Dave's AA Sponsor]

he made cumsies

[Serpico1103]

he made cumsies

How did it taste? Like a dust ball?
Remember what the second "A" stands for in "AA"

[Dave's AA Sponsor]

How did it taste? Like a dust ball?
Remember what the second "A" stands for in "AA"


it tasted fruity

[earlsgmaclit]

it tasted like Earl's fathers Ass

[earlsgmaclit]

Fez secert is he is Obama's lover

[hereintheUK]

I think this has something to do with Rory Hamptons. Fez hasn't sounded this great since Rory left the show.

[Recyclerz]

I think this has something to do with Rory Hamptons. Fez hasn't sounded this great since Rory left the show.

That's what I was thinking too.


Although Ron's teasing on Wednesday's show about how he and Fez are so opposed to gay marriage may be the hint to indicate that Fez has decided to accept who he is and to be OK with it.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Just glancing at thread titles I saw this and thought it read Fez's Secret Ejaculation

[drjoek]

Whatever it is, its the best
Love the old/new Fez
:clap:

[yojimbo7248]

That's what I was thinking too.


Although Ron's teasing on Wednesday's show about how he and Fez are so opposed to gay marriage may be the hint to indicate that Fez has decided to accept who he is and to be OK with it.

I was thinking the same thing. All of the talk about gay marriage and Ron joking that he and Fez think that gays are evil makes me think that at the very least Fez will come out. Maybe he is even engaged and planning a Canadian or MA wedding.

[keverlast]

Fez has a PACEMAKER helpn out his old fuckn heart. This explains his chirpy presence of late. Believe me life can go down hill when the ole ticker is flickering. This procedure is possible to have done over a weekend.:thumbup:

[drjoek]

Gay marriage was appoved here in CT at the same time as this secret and the new improved Fez. Coincidence? I don't think so. Has anyone mentioned that Fez is back?!

[blacknoi]

Fez drank a 5 hour energy, but got 10 hours worth.

[AKA]

Just glancing at thread titles I saw this and thought it read Fez's Secret Ejaculation

He's never been able to keep that a secret.

http://www.yellowstonenationalpark.org/images/1920s-OldFaithfulGeyser-at-Sunset.jpg

[Patient zer0]

fez blew obama a few years ago in a limo for coke

[marcpsych]

I think this has something to do with Rory Hamptons. Fez hasn't sounded this great since Rory left the show.

Great call, dude. I have been thinking the same thing. Either Rory coming back or a Rory/Staples combo, which would be great. Fez never sounded better than when he would spontaneously bust on Staples, AKA calling him "Flabby Hoffman" when Billy went to some sort of protest.

I think that part of the reason that Fez became so depressed after WNEW (although stayed great on air through the WJFK days and the beginning of the XM days) is because he doesn't have a biological family with him, and so the people in the WNEW milieu became his "real" family. So it was a huge shot in the balls to him when that all suddently and shockingly ended. Ron still had his "real" family at home, but Fez's was torn asunder when they were booted off WNEW in the aftermath of the O&A St. Pat's incident (despite earning number 1 ratings in their time slot).

Fez does seem to be coming back after being in a tremendous slump, which is awesome. I am glad that he seems to be feeling significantly better. He seems qualitatively better this time, which is great.

Go Fez!!

:king:

[labiaReceiver]

I think Fez finally got his name changed to ACE.

[suggums]

in all seriousness i would guess fez got laid, which would be awesome

[west milly Tom]

I think Fez ate his cat.
Makes more sense then him getting laid. :)

[west milly Tom]

In truth though, the first thing that came to.my mind
Was Rory Hamptons

[Philly Franko]

Fez got a free ticket , where the Tarp covered tropicana field for the ALCS...for game 6 and 7.:thumbup:

[west milly Tom]

I wonder if Fez is a bottom or top.

[kingofthething]

gay buttsex with a guy, regularly:king:

[Unshavenfan]

???
I must know

[disneyspy]

hes straight

[Judge Smails]

http://www.retroland.com/retrotalk/userfiles/calgon.jpg

[Unshavenfan]

I knew it ! AH HA

:clap:

[BlackSpider]

isn't this a thread already???

[IMSlacker]

Fez's Secret: Fez hates duplicate threads. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=73704)

[WillfulBoy]

I think the secret is either that he finally had a date with Ed and tossed his first salad. Or maybe its that he finally figured out how to use the tip calculator function on his cell phone.

:clap::clap: Yea Fez! :clap::clap:

[MacVittie]

I think Fez's secret is that he's out. Ron's been saying a lot of ridiculous anti-gay things in the last few weeks and Fez defends it pretty adamantly. I think Fez is accepting who he is and telling a few people at a time, like Ron and HTG. A direct quote from him today was, "There's nothing wrong with gays in radio."

[Hottub]

isn't this a thread already???

Fez's Secret: Fez hates duplicate threads. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=73704)

No. The original one is good.

[drjoek]

No. The original one is good.


My sentiments exactly

[Serpico1103]

Fez, if this is the proper forum to address you;
You don't love your mother and she does not love you.
You don't love her enough to trust that she would accept you. Do you see as that bad a person that she would reject her own son? Than you do not love her.
She does not love you, because you hide the real you from her. She loves the character you play when you see her.
I am saying this because you fear losing her love if you are honest with her. But, you don't have her love. So, you have nothing to lose by telling her.
Good Luck.

[NKT]

My guess:

"Pee in the Butt"

[helterskeletor]

I think Fez's secret is that he's out. Ron's been saying a lot of ridiculous anti-gay things in the last few weeks and Fez defends it pretty adamantly. I think Fez is accepting who he is and telling a few people at a time, like Ron and HTG. A direct quote from him today was, "There's nothing wrong with gays in radio."

That's way too obvious.

[AnnoyedGrunt]

You don't think there might be some hidden messages in Fez's Christmas song, do you?

[Charlie_Don't_Surf]

hes straight

dude...... i've thought that would be the ultimate twist if they were fucking with us and it turns out he found himself a nice girl and turned her out.

[drucifer]

Sunday night Scientology?

[jlehane]

The cat is buried in a flower pot feeding a lovely PALM tree his mom sent from Fla. He has a YEN for a Chinaman. Fez is dating Stalker Patty after that killer Patty Smith set. Another latent memory surfaces from the psychiatrist office that is so free-ing that he can cut his umbilical cord finally at age 63. Fez is planning to elope to live with Pat from Moonachie in the trailer park and tidy the place up a bit. His new fave flick is Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Fez joined a nudist colony for Pee-Shy men. Fez has homo-erotic dreams about vegetables,but only dreams about women as cartoons like the teacher in Charlie Brown making muffled horny conversation. Wah Wah waaaah wah wa wa wa ah wah wahhhhhhhhh.Wah wah wah wah. http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a221/jlehane3/CTnJivinIMG_0082_Large_crop.jpg

[Rube]

Fez is an Alien. (http://www.thirdtierboard.com/forums/showthread.php?p=97554#post97554)

[NewYorkDragons80]

Based on their discussion this week, Ron said it was 4 years ago and mentioned a specific person. They've hinted at it in the past, but I think the secret is that Fez was in love with or dating Rory Hamptons.

[spainlinx0]

It seems like it has been an open joke for a long time that Fez was in love with Rory. I don't remember Rory being gay, or maybe he was gay for a night and got freaked out and abandoned Fez.