JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY. quote it.

[fezident]

JOHNNY:
"Whattsa matta, Danny? Sumthin' wrong at home"

DANNY:
"I can't say it in front of Ma."

MA KELLY:
"What can't ya say in front of yer Ma? That ya wanna hump your brains out?!! BAA BOOM BAA BOOM BA BOOM!"

[Jujubees2]

Those fargin bastiches

[biozombie]

Knock down this wall, this wall, and this farging wall!

[GreatAmericanZero]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18vzLo3sKJg

[biozombie]

My father hung me on a hook once....once.

[GreatAmericanZero]

The Michael Keaton break dance scene is the funniest

but who doesnt love

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ukOaQLKjLyE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ukOaQLKjLyE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Gmann]

"You fargin iceholes!!!"


I love Ivan Maroni

[GreatAmericanZero]

Remember when Peter Boyle walks out of the bathroom after the explosion with the toilet chain handle in his hand and he thinks its his "dork"?


goddammit...i don't think anyone knows funny unless they saw this movie!

[johnniehardrock]

Dom Delouise as the pope ruled
Johnny Dangerously: Hey Pope, why don't you go build yourself a new gym at the Vatican

Also a classic
Warden: Your turn, Johnny. The priest you've requested has arrived.
Charley: [pretending to be a priest] Are you ready, my son?
Johnny Dangerously: I'm ready if you are, father.
Charley: Dominus vobiscum nabisco. Espiritu sanctum. De gustibus.
Prisoner: [hands Johnny a part of a tommy gun] So long, Johnny.
Charley: Me gustibus. You gustibus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus.
Prisoner: [hands Johnny another piece of the gun] Be brave, huh, Johnny.
Charley: When's the next bus?
Johnny Dangerously: [begins putting the gun together behind the wardens back] Always, Nails.
Charley: Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio's too laude. Adeste fidelis.
Prisoner: [gives Johnny another piece] Good luck, Johnny.
Charley: Centra fidelis. High fidelis.
Johnny Dangerously: [struggling to put it together] Why didn't I take shop?
Charley: Post meridian. Ante meridian. Uncle meridian. All of the little meridians.
Prisoner: [adds another piece] Bye bye, Johnny.
Johnny Dangerously: [adds piece to gun] Bye, Rock.
Charley: Magna carta. Master charga.
Prisoner: [hands piece to Johnny] Spit in his eye, Johnny!
Johnny Dangerously: [finishes putting the gun together] OK, rabbi.
Charley: [opens his bible to reveal the guns clip] Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis.
Warden: Any last words, Johnny?
[gun cocks]
Warden: [turns to see Johnny pointing a tommy gun at him] Well said!

[TripleSkeet]

Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it!

[fezident]

Two henchmen murder a guy in a hotel.
On their way out, they see a sweet old female janitor in the hallway mopping the floor. They approach her to offer a bribe. They want her to clean up the blood and the body.

One of the henchmen says
"Wanna make a few extra bucks?"

and she says
"Hmmm... one at a time, or the both of ya together?"

[SP1!]

"Ya missed fuck face"

[jennysmurf]

We're going to have to do a thyroid search.

[Hottub]

You got those. I like those on a woman.

[Hottub]

The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously.

Did you know you're last name is an adverb?

[Hottub]

Mom, it's prohibition!

Oh, shut up! Stop acting like some fag choir boy!

[SP1!]

Oh thank you lord jesus!

[Contra]

"all you have to do is plaaaaaly baaaall!"

"Remember kid, crime doesn't pay. Well maybe it pays a little."

[SP1!]

But this parking space is for handicapped people

I am handicapped, Im crazy

I say this to my GF all the time and she has no clue why........

[jennysmurf]

I love shelfpaper!

[drusilla]

My father hung me on a hook once. Once!

[realmenhatelife]

Remember when Peter Boyle walks out of the bathroom after the explosion with the toilet chain handle in his hand and he thinks its his "dork"?


goddammit...i don't think anyone knows funny unless they saw this movie!

He yells " I got my DORK in my hand!" and its the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread.

[ChrisTheCop]

Dames are put on this earth to weaken us, drain our energy, and laugh at us when they see us naked.

[Badinia]

Ma Kelly: You've gotten to be like a daughter to me and I wanna share somethin' with ya.
Lil: Awww, what's that Mom Kelley?
Ma Kelly: I go both ways.

[Sarge]

Danny Vermin, "Its an 88 magnum, it shoots through schools".

[smo22]

I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel. You lousy cork-suckers. You have violated my fargin' rights. This suminonbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens, like me, could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin' ice holes, like yourselves.

- Roman Moronie

Words to live by, my friends.

[Foster]

go ahead with the operation doc, it will be good to see the old girl spit again

[fezident]

"Johnny and the mothers are playin' stonepipe at the Savoy theater in Vermont"





Pass it on.

[MIKEYDAKEN]

mrs. capone: can we borrow a cup of bullets al wants to go out tonight and were a bit low
johnny:well were a bit low here too...
mrs. capone: oh al's gonna be pissed
johnny:yeah well maybe al will just have to stay in tonight

[docgoblin]

Ma Kelly: I gotta talk to ya!

Mary Margaret Katherine Dineen: We don't have nothin' to say to each other!

Ma: We got plenty to talk about... We got alot in common.

MMKD: Yeah, like what?

Ma: We both scrub floors... We're both swell lookers... And neither of us is Chinese.

MMKD: Well I'll say this... You been doin' your homework!.. Whaddya want?

Ma: How much will it take for you to tell the truth?

MMKD: Nineteen Thousand Five Hundred!

(Ma hands over the money)

MMKD: Boy, Am I havin' a good year!

[Coach]

Ya shouldn'ta kicked me in the balls, my Mother kicked in in the balls once..onccccccccccc

[torker]

Bells in a Sling
http://www.maximonline.com/articles/images/7465/Roman_Moroni.jpg

[fezident]

"SpicGookNiggerKikeWopDagoCunt, walk all OVER da floor, why dontcha?!" - That irish bitch that mops the floors.

[johnniehardrock]

Desk Sergeant Skipper: Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Be on the look out for... now listen to this: Dangerously and accomplices dressed as nuns driving a sedan covered with... oh you'll love this... duckies and bunnies.
Desk Sergeant Skipper: Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Come to Dooley's bar and grill. I'm buyin'.

Johnny Dangerously: Whatcha cookin' here ma?
Ma Kelly: Beer.
Johnny Dangerously: With noodles! Great idea!

[ozzie]

"You fargon sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove um up your icehole. Dirty som-on-a-batches. My own club."

"What a mouth on that guy." (The Great Dick Butkus)

[drusilla]

i've always wanted a car covered in duckies & bunnies

[flavopop]

Hiya Tommy, ya lil muskrat ya!

[fezident]

http://www.photoshopessentials.com/images/photo-effects/fireworks/fireworks.jpg

Sounds like Johnny's gettin' laaaaid!