How to do deal with a Girlfriend going to a far away College.

[Duke]

Well, I am a senior now and my girlfriend is considering going to a college that is about 4 hours away. Now, nothing is set in stone, but I find myself worrying about this too much and I feel like I should be enjoying the time we have rather then worrying about the future. We have been going out for about 5 months now, and I have known her for almost 2 years. She is a major part of my life in general and I couldn't imagine her suddenly being out of it. We go to different schools as it is, (we live about 20 minutes from each other) but I feel that if I need to see her she is at least in driving distance. When she travels, I always get this weird feeling of her not being around, I feel empty to some extent. I know I could handle it, but I don't want to worry about this, I just want to enjoy the time I have now.

Now I know highschool relationships never last, but one i am naive, and two I have deep feelings for this girl. But really, I just want to be happy.

[lleeder]

To be honest, the chance it works is slim.

[Mullenax]

High school relationships... well, you said it.<p>
3 yrs ago I moved to Indianapolis for grad school and left my bf of three years in Maryland; for the first three months either he or I made the 9 hr drive on weekends so we could spend a day together. His Mom put us on a family cell phone plan so we wouldn't have to worry about minutes. He moved in with me as soon as he had enough money. Now he has a great job and we bought a house. Everything's awesome.<p>
Bottom line, it's hard but not impossible. Good luck!

[patsopinion]

ey



u dont wanna loose ur virginity in college do ya?



then get over ere

[~Katja~]

Now I know highschool relationships never last, but one i am naive, and two I have deep feelings for this girl. But really, I just want to be happy.

see... let her go, do what she wants and if she finds someone else... just let it go...
same goes for you, you may come across a new and exciting woman while in college...

do what makes you happy, but let he do what makes her happy, if you don't and you end up staying together for years to come then there may always be some resentment from back in the day...


if it was meant to be it will work out.

[PerryWinkle]

what college is she going to?

[~Katja~]

what college is she going to?

lol
too old for ya...

[PerryWinkle]

lol
too old for ya...

does she have a younger sister?

[keithy_19]

I didnt go away to school because of a relationship. One of the dumbest decisons of my dumb decision filled life.

I know that's not your situation, but the point is, I made sacrifices to be with someone. And she moved and distance played a big part in the ultimate failure of our relationship.

I know it's hard, but I say you just keep doing what you're doing now. And when the time comes, you'll find out if you can deal with the distance. You'll just know.

[KingKill]

I am close to forty trust me most high school realationships dont work out.
However my wife and I started dating at 16 and 18 and still are together. We are the only couple i know about from our circle of friends at the time who are marries with kiddies.

In short none of us online fucks know you in real life and wether this thing you are in would work or not. So you have to make a hard choice

The odds that anything anybody is right is at best is 50/50 so flip a coin.

[Duke]

Shes going to an all girls school, So I am not too worried about her finding another guy, but the distance alone is what worries me.

[sailor]

break up now. if you want to try again after college great, but it's pretty unrealistic for both of you.

[El Mudo]

Well, on a good note with the wonders of modern instant communication, there's always some way you can talk to her at any time.

My sister and her (now) husband went through this same thing for a few years where she would come home during the summer and he would stay down at college in the summer 4 hours away, and they havent seen each other in a few monfs since he got a job up in Boston (she is in the process of moving up there with him)...theyve found a way to make it work for them, but theyve got a LOT of problems with their relationship

Bottom line is, as someone's already said, if it works out, it works out...and youre still a REALLY REALLY young man, if it doesn't work out, its not the end of the world, and the sun will still come up tomorrow

[JPMNICK]

there is only one thing to do, and it will make both of your lives better, end it. if not, you will be a jealous maniac, she will be miserable, and there will buy some guy there who she runs to. then you will be even more heart broken. both of you need to enjoy college life

[suggums]

my dumb high school relationship lasted almost through my first year of college, 6 hour difference, and we broke up right after spring break. i was hopping into other beds within a week. you will probably do something similar. good luck!

edit: the best part is a couple years after your relationship ends, theres a good chance, say on new years eve, of running into your old high school girlfriend when you are both single and having one last night of fun for the memory books

[WampusCrandle]

Shes going to an all girls school, So I am not too worried about her finding another guy, but the distance alone is what worries me.

dont let the "all girl" college thing throw you off. i know girls at Smith get a crazy amount of ass from near by colleges, especially from UMASS.

look, its going to be hard, and it may not work. of course, it could.

just be prepared for anything.

[SatCam]

I told a girl I would move to RI with her when she went off to school.


thank god I broke up with her. thank god....................................




But seriously duke, when youre in college there are going to be a lot of girls who will want to bang you. And a lot of guys who will want to bang your girl. Unless you want to be the guy who tells everyone he has a girlfriend,,,, (except she lives 4 hours away and you see her every columbus day, thanksgiving and christmas) you'll have to end things eventually.

That, or an "open relationship" when you can still hookup with her when she comes back from school.

[Duke]

dont let the "all girl" college thing throw you off. i know girls at Smith get a crazy amount of ass from near by colleges, especially from UMASS.

look, its going to be hard, and it may not work. of course, it could.

just be prepared for anything.


lol smith is the college that she is talking about :wallbash:

anyways, i talked to her about this last night, and how it has sort of been bothering me and she said she worries about the same stuff. I feel a lot better knowing she feels the same way about this. I determined I am going to try not to let it bother me and whatever happens, happens.

[walking joint]

my HS relationship lasted I believe 3 days into my college life. Actually we are probably still dating as we never officially broke up. I just stopped taking her calls and after about a month and a bunch of angry messages they just stopped. i'm a pussy.

[Marc with a c]

my HS relationship lasted I believe 3 days into my college life. Actually we are probably still dating as we never officially broke up. I just stopped taking her calls and after about a month and a bunch of angry messages they just stopped. i'm a pussy.

ha. Something similiar happened to me. I thought me and my high school girlfriend were broken up when we went away. I found out during thanksgiving she thought we were still together.

[Ritalin]

lol smith is the college that she is talking about :wallbash:

anyways, i talked to her about this last night, and how it has sort of been bothering me and she said she worries about the same stuff. I feel a lot better knowing she feels the same way about this. I determined I am going to try not to let it bother me and whatever happens, happens.

Every chick I ever met from Smith was half a dyke.

Really smart dykes.

It usually wears off when they graduate and move to NY. It's just a phase.

[Kris10]

Kiss her goodbye, I don't see it lasting. Besides, you don't want to be tied down in college, there's a lot of pussy out there you haven't hit yet.

[WampusCrandle]

Every chick I ever met from Smith was half a dyke.

Really smart dykes.

It usually wears off when they graduate and move to NY. It's just a phase.

its true - and now, some dress like men - its fucking weird.

[Bossanova]

Kiss her goodbye, I don't see it lasting. Besides, you don't want to be tied down in college, there's a lot of pussy out there you haven't hit yet.

Yeah, thats about it

[DarkHippie]

Kiss her goodbye, I don't see it lasting. Besides, you don't want to be tied down in college, there's a lot of pussy out there you haven't hit yet.

QFT dont be that guy that pines for a girl while all your roommates are tagging ass left and right. nobody likes that guy, especially that guy.

[K.C.]

I'd just go in with the mindset that you're going to let whatever happen, happen.

Everyone's pretty much right about how these relationships rarely work.

I'm not going to tell you should just break up with her, necessarily, but you need to get yourself in the right frame of mind, that you two are going to probably change fairly significantly in the next year or so.

The guys who don't do that are the guys I used to see pacing back and forth in the halls, dialing on their phones every five minutes because their chick isn't answering, with visions of her pulling a train dancing in their heads.

Jealousy begets paranoia begets craziness, and before you know it, you're 'that guy.'

When you get to school, go out with your buddies there. If you meet a chick, you meet a chick. Just be honest about it. If she meets another guy, try not to take it too personally.


Other than that, there's nothing you can do. So just resign yourself to the fact that you're going to have little control over the situation, and enjoy your senior year with the chick.

[Kris10]

I'd just go in with the mindset that you're going to let whatever happen, happen.

Everyone's pretty much right about how these relationships rarely work.

I'm not going to tell you should just break up with her, necessarily, but you need to get yourself in the right frame of mind, that you two are going to probably change fairly significantly in the next year or so.

The guys who don't do that are the guys I used to see pacing back and forth in the halls, dialing on their phones every five minutes because their chick isn't answering, with visions of her pulling a train dancing in their heads.

Jealousy begets paranoia begets craziness, and before you know it, you're 'that guy.'

When you get to school, go out with your buddies there. If you meet a chick, you meet a chick. Just be honest about it. If she meets another guy, try not to take it too personally.


Other than that, there's nothing you can do. So just resign yourself to the fact that you're going to have little control over the situation, and enjoy your senior year with the chick.

It's like I'm the guy with the crude remarks and you're the woman with the long story. :lol:
You're not kidding though in what you're saying, you just have a nicer way of saying it.

[K.C.]

It's like I'm the guy with the crude remarks and you're the woman with the long story. :lol:


I tried to throw in the bit about pulling a train just make this not sound like I've been watching the Oxygen channel all day. :happy:


But I actually had that exact same conversation with at least four of friends, on separate occasions, years back, so I'm pretty used to this question.

Suffice to say, no one ever listens to me...and with everyone I've known who's attempted this, one person in the relationship always ended up being crushed by it.

[Kris10]

I tried to throw in the bit about pulling a train just make this not sound like I've been watching the Oxygen channel all day. :happy:


But I actually had that exact same conversation with at least four of friends, on separate occasions, years back, so I'm pretty used to this question.

Suffice to say, no one ever listens to me...and with everyone I've known who's attempted this, one person in the relationship always ended up being crushed by it.

My specialty is the "don't get married" speech. Been there, done that, let me save you the trouble, yet they have to try it out for themselves. Why do we waste our time??

[K.C.]

My specialty is the "don't get married" speech. Been there, done that, let me save you the trouble, yet they have to try it out for themselves. Why do we waste our time??

Yeah, I ran in to a few kids who ran off and got married.

I knew a bunch of kids who were engaged entering college, though....yeah...those usually lasted about as long as it took the first drunk chick at a party to start trying to take off her top, and then before you know it, the ring is being hocked for booze.

Ideally, the way to go, if you don't break up, is some type of open relationship. But I've seldom met guy's that can handle it if their chick actually starts seeing someone else.

[keithy_19]

Ideally, the way to go, if you don't break up, is some type of open relationship. But I've seldom met guy's that can handle it if their chick actually starts seeing someone else.

Very true. Even if the girl never tells you she's seeing someone else, the thought of it will wreck you.

[paulisded]

You've got to stop thinking about yourself.

A few years ago, I dated a much younger woman who was about to go off to college in Boston when we first started seeing each other. (No, she wasn't that young - she was 22 and I was 35 or so). I knew from the first time we hung out that she was leaving in two months, and I was fine with it.

She wasn't, though. Within a couple of weeks, she was hinting that she wanted me to tell her to stay. No way. I was not going to let her put a halt to her education for a new relationship with me.

We talked, and she finally agreed with me. She went off to college as planned...and a few months later we broke up. The main complaint was I had yet to fly out to Boston to be with her. Oh well.

[keithy_19]

You've got to stop thinking about yourself.



But don't only think of her.

:bye:

[paulisded]

But don't only think of her.

:bye:

That too.

[keithy_19]

That too.

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