Death Anniversary...What do you do?

[Friday]

In the jewish tradition, we always lit a Yahrzeit candle the night before the anniversary day for my grandma and grandpa. And while I often burn candles here in my home, I have not done this for my mom, as she was not jewish.

But I do admit to feeling a bit of inner sadness this week.. considering her final days began on Thanksgiving 2 years ago and ended 6 days later... all of which plays like a vivid, slow moving picture show memory for me.

However, today, the actual anniversary, I feel ok. I am sick so I am hanging out with kittehs, eating some chinese food (her favorite), and I was just wondering....

how do You commemorate the passing of a loved one? Is it just a day like any other? or do you somehow feel obligated to...or have an inner desire to do something in their honor?

[reillyluck]

the closest living relative to me that died was my grandmother. she raised me, so it was pretty hard to deal with. still is sometimes. on her anniversary every june 21st, i light a St. Anthony candle and pray to it. i dont blow it out, i just let it burn out on its own.

St. Anthony's legacy meant a great deal to her, so i keep the following of him through me.

[Gvac]

In the jewish tradition, we always lit a Yahrzeit candle the night before the anniversary day for my grandma and grandpa. And while I often burn candles here in my home, I have not done this for my mom, as she was not jewish.

But I do admit to feeling a bit of inner sadness this week.. considering her final days began on Thanksgiving 2 years ago and ended 6 days later... all of which plays like a vivid, slow moving picture show memory for me.

However, today, the actual anniversary, I feel ok. I am sick so I am hanging out with kittehs, eating some chinese food (her favorite), and I was just wondering....

how do You commemorate the passing of a loved one? Is it just a day like any other? or do you somehow feel obligated to...or have an inner desire to do something in their honor?

I never visit cemeteries because I don't believe that it's that person's final resting place. I don't really dwell on their death either, but I do take a few minutes to remember them and the influence they had on my life. I usually get a nice smile out of it.

To me, that's the greatest impact someone's life can have; to continue to bring joy to those they touched in their life, even when they're gone.

[Foster]

you're doing it

you're remembering her and enjoying something she enjoyed

[KatPw]

Hugs to you Friday.

I cry. I light some candles, maybe look though some photo albums. I don't go to the grave on the anniversaries, I'm usually a wreck after we go to the grave so I limit that to twice a year. My dad's anniversary is harder, since it's Christmas day. That day I don't even leave the house. But talking about them and talking about the fun, happy stuff on those days really helps.

[jonyrotn]

Whatever you did today is exactly the way you should have bereaved the anniversary of your mom's passing..
I would bet everything I have that your mother knows precisely how much she is missed and honored by you Friday..You're a great daughter and an even better person..Stay strong and enjoy your Kung pow chicken..

[DarkHippie]

i light a Yartzeit candle. If that would make you feel better, you can do the same. after all, rememberance is for you, not the deceased.

*hugs*

[sailor]

have birthday cake and visit the cemetery.

[RoseBlood]

There is no right or wrong way, we remember lost loved ones the only way we know how. What you are doing Friday is beautiful and I'm sure your mother would be proud.

I have lost loved ones but I have been lucky enough to have never lost anyone in my immediate family.

Personally, one of the greatest things anyone could do for a loved one is to speak of that person fondly especially to those who didn't know him/her. You don't have to bore people or talk about them everday but every so often tell a funny story about that person or pass on some wisdom that person taught you to another.

When everyone who ever knew that person is long gone, it makes me sad to think their memory may be forgotten. It is cliche but it's true, remember their spirt and let others remember them too.

[Lady Resin]

My sister, brother and I use to go to the cemetery on the dates of my mom and dads passing. When my dad passed away my mom took us out for lunch at a great local Italain resturaunt. We did it every year. When my mom passed away in '06 the three of us did the same. But now my brother has crazy job hours and my sis has the baby, I go to the cemetery by myself and have lunch at the same place and remember the good times.

[drjoek]

My Mom died on Super Bowl Sunday 1994. Each year my Dad has a Mass said for her at their church we all make it there then have lunch together before we disperse to watch the game.