Christmas gift conundrum

[skyscraper]

Oh no, it's a moral conundrum (CONUNDRUM!)
my brother, 2 sisters, and mother bought my recently-retired father a 42 inch plasma tv for Christmas last week. I was not with them, did not know they were doing this. The thing was about $1000.
Now they are asking me to chip in for it. they did not consult me about buying it, nothing. I don't want to be cheap, especially for my father, but it doesn't seem right for them to be asking me to chip in for something that's going to run me a few hundred bucks without asking me first.
Oh Oracle, whatever shall I do?

[KingGeno]

I understand. I get roped into this type of trap all the time, and i hate it.

What I would do is say "No, I'm not putting in for the TV. But I am going to buy him a seperate BluRay player or something." That way, he gets the TV, but you expand upon his new HDTV gift. That's what I would have done.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

shell out the cash he's your pops and deserve to see TV in HD

[skyscraper]

shell out the cash he's your pops and deserve to see TV in HD

of course he deserves it, that's not the issue. I'd hire a personal valet to chew his food for him if I could.
I'm just pissed at my family for making this decision without me. my wife and I have 2 young kids of our own for whom to play santa, to say nothing of myriad nieces and nephews. I am but a lowly architect, my wife a marketing manager. we do ok but don't go around buying plasma tv's on a whim assuming other people will pay for it.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

of course he deserves it, that's not the issue. I'd hire a personal valet to chew his food for him if I could.
I'm just pissed at my family for making this decision without me. my wife and I have 2 young kids of our own for whom to play santa, to say nothing of myriad nieces and nephews. I am but a lowly architect, my wife a marketing manager. we do ok but don't go around buying plasma tv's on a whim assuming other people will pay for it.


I see, pay the $$, now the ball is in your court, u can hold it over on them

if you dont pay the $$, this will be used against you alot

[~Katja~]

can you afford to pay your even part? then do it, else say had they asked you before you would have recommended a cheaper model and tell them you are only able to chip in a certain amount.
Ultimately you don't have to worry about a gift anymore and probably would spend a bunch on something random anyway.

[mikeyboy]

Probably not what you want to hear, but I would think you would be able to get a good 42" plasma for less than a grand.

[skyscraper]

can you afford to pay your even part? then do it, else say had they asked you before you would have recommended a cheaper model and tell them you are only able to chip in a certain amount.
Ultimately you don't have to worry about a gift anymore and probably would spend a bunch on something random anyway.

I definitely would have recommended a better deal. there is a Tweeter store near us that is going out of business, everything is 50-70% off. I am sure they could have done much better had they not been that impulsive.
I am sure we can afford the money, I am just irritated about it. I am not looking forward to bringing this up with Mrs. Skyscraper.

[Friday]

I understand. I get roped into this type of trap all the time, and i hate it.

What I would do is say "No, I'm not putting in for the TV. But I am going to buy him a seperate BluRay player or something." That way, he gets the TV, but you expand upon his new HDTV gift. That's what I would have done.


i am in agreement with Geno on this...

[~Katja~]

I definitely would have recommended a better deal. there is a Tweeter store near us that is going out of business, everything is 50-70% off. I am sure they could have done much better had they not been that impulsive.
I am sure we can afford the money, I am just irritated about it. I am not looking forward to bringing this up with Mrs. Skyscraper.

so they were in line at walmart last friday then thinking they were getting the deal of a life time?
ugh... well, I think you should tell them they should return or cancel it and show them better options that will save all of you guys a decent buck.

[angrymissy]

You say:

"I had $$$ budgeted for Dad's gift, that is what I can pitch in" and give them whatever you were planning to spend.

[KingGeno]

Good call!

I am sure they will understand, being that you have your own family to worry about it also. Can't be killing yourself in the wallet over it. I think you'll have to suck it up, voice your displeasure for their bad planning, but also note that you are in full agreeance with getting something great for dad.

Or do what I originally said and be the black sheep, buy him something great to expand the HD experience, and then have your family hate you until next year. At least they will leave you alone.

[Zorro]

I say throw in the money, but let them know you are pissed about it and they should ask next time. They didn't do this to anger you they probably were just thinking it would be nice for your Dad to get a big gift from his kids, or they just weren't thinking...cut them some slack


...can you really buy a 42" Plasma for less than 1000 bucks? I apparently have been living in a cave. Last time I was in the store looking they were thousands. It was 2004 though.

[skyscraper]

the other part of it is, I am always the last one in on anything. I am the last to hear any family news, the last to be told about anything. this is just the latest example.
I certainly don't want to take this out on my dad, so I think I really like Geno's suggestion of getting the blu-ray player. fuck the rest of them though.

[~Katja~]

the other part of it is, I am always the last one in on anything. I am the last to hear any family news, the last to be told about anything. this is just the latest example.
I certainly don't want to take this out on my dad, so I think I really like Geno's suggestion of getting the blu-ray player. fuck the rest of them though.

sounds like it is the perfect time to speak up for once.
You say you are always the last to know and the last to be in on things... you are probably a bit anti social and don't care for the typical siblings and family gossip and therefor get left out.
I think you need to speak up that you don't care for the one part but certainly expect to be part of any monetary future decisions or else you won't chip in.

[midwestjeff]

Stop ruining Christmas. You have the 200, then throw it down.

Your Dad will be happy. Your family will be happy. Your wife should understand.

Pointing fingers and claiming that a better deal could have been had is some Scrooge shit.

If you didn't have the 200, then it is a different story.

Edit---You are the last to know means you should work on staying in touch.

[skyscraper]

Stop ruining Christmas. You have the 200, then throw it down.

Your Dad will be happy. Your family will be happy. Your wife should understand.

Pointing fingers and claiming that a better deal could have been had is some Scrooge shit.

If you didn't have the 200, then it is a different story.

Edit---You are the last to know means you should work on staying in touch.

this from the guy who would give a year of his life for the ability to tie his shoes.

[drjoek]

Throw in with the family but tell them next year that everyone comes to an agreement on the present next year if they want your cash.

[midwestjeff]

this from the guy who would give a year of his life for the ability to tie his shoes.

At least my family keeps me in the loop.

[Yosammity]

Self righteous satisfaction is expensive: Buy him a bigger, better, more expensive TV yourself.

[skyscraper]

this from the guy who would give a year of his life for the ability to tie his shoes.

I never quote myself, but do you think it's remarks like that that keep me out of my family's news loop?

[~Katja~]

Stop ruining Christmas. You have the 200, then throw it down.

Your Dad will be happy. Your family will be happy. Your wife should understand.

Pointing fingers and claiming that a better deal could have been had is some Scrooge shit.

If you didn't have the 200, then it is a different story.

Edit---You are the last to know means you should work on staying in touch.


you are insane, 100 bucks extra in everybody's pocket during holiday season when everything is expensive and money is tight is not a bad thing.
Are you paying double for things just cause you happen to have the money? Crazy Talk!

[midwestjeff]

you are insane, 100 bucks extra in everybody's pocket during holiday season when everything is expensive and money is tight is not a bad thing.
Are you paying double for things just cause you happen to have the money? Crazy Talk!

Was it established that Mr. Scraper was only spending 100 dollars on dear old Dad before the family asked for 200?
I deduced 200 from the figures he gave.
His conundrum does not imply that he can not afford to throw down the 200.
It implies that he is mad because it is expected.
And really, once we start dating, you will appreciate my generousity.

[~Katja~]

Was it established that Mr. Scraper was only spending 100 dollars on dear old Dad before the family asked for 200?
I deduced 200 from the figures he gave.
His conundrum does not imply that he can not afford to throw down the 200.
It implies that he is mad because it is expected.
And really, once we start dating, you will appreciate my generousity.

no, my math was based on the fact that you can get a tv of that size for 4-500 less, hence the 100 extra EACH.

[midwestjeff]

no, my math was based on the fact that you can get a tv of that size for 4-500 less, hence the 100 extra EACH.

Right, but the deal is done.
If Mr. Scraper was in better contact with his family
he could have presented the option of a better deal.
But he isn't. They made a decision, a group of people, without him.
The problem is not losing 100 dollars,
the problem is not talking to the wretched fuckers that share your blood.

[mikeyboy]

Is it me, or is MidwestJeff much more angry since CHUCKWAGONCOOK indoctrinated him into his nudie posting club?

[skyscraper]

Right, but the deal is done.
If Mr. Scraper was in better contact with his family
he could have presented the option of a better deal.
But he isn't. They made a decision, a group of people, without him.
The problem is not losing 100 dollars,
the problem is not talking to the wretched fuckers that share your blood.

it's not as bad as you are making it out to be; yes I feel like I am the last to know things but it's not as though we're not on speaking terms. they just happened to be out shopping and picked up this tv and figured they would figure out the finances later; it's for Dad, so let's just get it done. that's all.
christ, sorry I brought that part up.
and yes, to you I am Mr. Scraper Sir.