My friend commited suicide

[Duke]

I found out today one of my friends, took his own life last night. I cannot believe this happened, we were great friends my freshmen and sophmore year but we slowly drifted apart as he got into more drugs. Its a shame, he was a good kid that got into doing bad things. But I cannot believe he is gone. He was only 18, he had only been an adult for 3 months.

I feel like all the warnings were there and most of my friends agreed he was heading on the wrong path. I mean even on his myspace it says as his status "living the final good hours" and his last log in was 12-1-08. I feel somewhat guilty for this happening. But at the same time I had no idea he would of done this. I can't picture him suddenly not in school anymore.

[PanterA]

This is a part of life. People we meet, know, and befriend all die. I think the best thing you can do is hold on to the good times you've had with your friend and learn from his mistakes.

I'm sorry for the loss.

[Kevin]

I had a friend that committed suicide last year also. Like you and him we had drifted apart since HS. He was doing great until some company that he was working for screwed him out of something. It was so creepy going to his myspace after he died. You have to stay strong Duke, and know that you could have done nothing for him. He was probably past th the point of help for a young kid such as yourself to really give him.

[Farmer Dave]

That does suck. Don't be afraid to talk to a school conselor if it's really bothering you.

[Thebazile78]

That does suck. Don't be afraid to talk to a school conselor if it's really bothering you.

When one of our sopranos committed suicide (on school grounds no less) the entire Guidance department set up shop in the auditorium for people who needed the time to deal with it. They held group counseling sessions for the next few days, including right after the funeral service, at which our extra-curricular choral groups performed.

I am very thankful for those group sessions; without them, many of us who knew this person would have been very lost for a long time.

Since I was at the funeral as a performer, and they played it after the girl's father and younger brother spoke their "eulogy" pieces, I still can't listen to Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven without thinking about that funeral. It was gut-wrenching.

Don't think it was your fault. Your friend (or former friend, as the case may be) chose to get involved with drugs ... and not to get any help with the problems that probably led to his involvement with them. There were more things going on in his head than you can handle, seeing as how you're not a licensed counselor or anything. This was probably a decision he'd been making for a long time, plotting it out and figuring out exactly what to do.

It's really sad, but please don't blame yourself. It's hard to be friends with someone with severe depression or drug problems; you have to consider your own mental health first in situations like these. And you can only save yourself.

It sucks. Really, it does. But it'll start to hurt less as more time passes. Remember the happy times and talk to a counselor or clergyperson about how you're feeling now. It'll help.

[Gwen]

Duke, I am sorry for your loss. I think this thread has offered some good advice for you, most notably in the posts of Pantera & TheBazile. Try to find comfort in those still with you, and don't dwell on the "how could I have helped" thoughts. Remember the good times, the positive memories and you'll get through the darker days ahead.

[Death Metal Moe]

Sorry Duke. That sucks.

[KingGeno]

I've come into this thread and left a few times. I've been apprehensive about replying..

I'm very sorry for you, your friends and your family for the loss. I had a friend commit suicide last year. No note was left. Even if one was left that doesn't answer that burning question that will always be there. By being there for mutual friends, family, and just talking about the good times and offering help you will get through it. If it is confusing, you may want to look into sitting down with someone to talk about it. An outside perspective could end up helping you out through these tough times. Just be there for anyone that you feel needs their spirit picked up, or if your spirit needs help being picked up.

Best of luck. God bless.

[GvacMobile]

Terribly sad news brother, and I'm sorry for your loss.

There's a thread around here somewhere with people discussing loved ones who took their own lives. if you find it I hope you understand how pervasive suicide is (however unfortunate that may be) and how no one is to blame.

All the best to you.

[Caseyelan]

We are sorry for your loss.
It never feels like things can be the same, truth is... they won't be.
But, we all can rise above it.

[KingGeno]

It's common for people to be angry about what he did. But that will not bring him back, nor can you convey that anger towards him. That is a big barrier to work past. Just remember the good times with him and find solace amongst friends and family, and ask any questions that may be bothering. Talking will help.

[topless_mike]

thats a tough thing to swallow, man.
but i dont think there was anything you could have done. sounds like his mind was already made up.

you've got a message board full of friends that are here for ya.

[spoon]

Sad news Duke, sorry to hear. Perhaps he saw you trying to hit a softball!? I kid of course, but it's good to see you around the board again. As others here stated, make sure to lean on your pals at home, school and here to help you cope. Good luck kid.