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Pantera <3 Real bad Pirate Jokes... [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:15 AM
...a good one being:

What did the pirate's secretary get?






















Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpal Tunnel.


Here's some more for your shitty repertoire.

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:17 AM
What do you get when you cross a pirate with a librarian?

Cap'n Book!

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:17 AM
What do you call a shaking pirate ship at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck!!!!

Boogie in Va
12-09-2008, 06:19 AM
What's a Pirates favorite rum??













Bacaaaaaaaaaaaardi

Snoogans
12-09-2008, 06:19 AM
What do you get when you make a joke?

a carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr wreck

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:20 AM
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:21 AM
What did the pirate name his cat?


Garrrrrfield!

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:21 AM
What's a pirate's favorite play in basketball?

A HOOK-SHOT!

johnniehardrock
12-09-2008, 06:22 AM
Why could the 16 year old pirate not get into the movies.....


It was rated AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:24 AM
What is a pirate's favorite type of currency?

The dollaarrrrrrrr!

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:24 AM
How do pirates navigate their ships?

With the staaaaaarrrrrs.

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:26 AM
What's the pirate's wife's name?

Peggy.

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:28 AM
What does a Pirate's pet lion say?

Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:28 AM
How did the pirate raise his mast?

He used a wench!

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:29 AM
How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck an ear!!!

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 06:29 AM
How much a pirate's hook and peg leg cost?

An arm and a leg!

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:30 AM
What did Captain Hook die from?
Jock Itch.

reillyluck
12-09-2008, 06:30 AM
Furtherman is the funniest pirate on the board arrrrrrrrrrr.

OGC
12-09-2008, 06:35 AM
What has five eyes, ten ears, and five legs?





Five pirates!

MisterSmith
12-09-2008, 06:36 AM
Can't do it. Just a joke, but mean spirited.

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:36 AM
How did the pirate raise his mast?

He used a wench!

How did the pirate raise his mast?




He used a wench!

Hoo Hoo...

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:37 AM
Can't do it. Just a joke, but mean spirited.

MisterSmith
Today 10:36 AM
What does a pirate do when he gets mad?

finish it!!!

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:38 AM
what does a pirate say when he takes over santa's job?
ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

OGC
12-09-2008, 06:49 AM
Hoo Hoo...

whatever arrrrrre you talking about ? :huh:

OGC
12-09-2008, 06:54 AM
This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"

And the pirate says...
Aaarrr, it's driving me nuts!!

Misteriosa
12-09-2008, 06:55 AM
Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains.

OGC
12-09-2008, 07:01 AM
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg, but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 07:03 AM
What did the pirate say to his llama?


Tina! You fat larrrrrd! Come get some dinner!

Mullenax
12-09-2008, 07:17 AM
What happens when two pirates disagree?<p>
<p>
<p>

They aarrrgue (and fight to the death)

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 07:21 AM
What does a pirate spread on his toast?


MAAAAARmalade!

Flea_Man
12-09-2008, 07:25 AM
I soooooooooo wanted to hear the convo that brought this thread on. I'm sure I missed a dozzy on Xbox Live :lol:

dryerdoor
12-09-2008, 07:27 AM
I soooooooooo wanted to hear the convo that brought this thread on. I'm sure I missed a dozzy on Xbox Live :lol:

It was real bad. And neither of us stopped with the shitty jokes.

Flea_Man
12-09-2008, 07:46 AM
It was real bad. And neither of us stopped with the shitty jokes.

:thumbup:

Skellington
12-09-2008, 11:00 AM
What type of socks do pirates wear?


ARRRRRRRgyle.

PanterA
12-10-2008, 09:45 AM
I wish I remember half the jokes we were coming up with that night.


One I do remember:

What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?

Arrrrrrrbys?

No KFC you jerks!

____________________________________________

You hear about the pirate with bad luck?

He blamed it on Kaarrrrrrrma

____________________________________________

Whats a pirates favorite tv show?

Darrrrrrrma and Greg

____________________________________________

Who's the pirates favorite local news caster?

Chuck Scarrrrrrrrrborough

PanterA
12-10-2008, 09:54 AM
Whats a pirates favorite holiday?

Arrrrrrber Day

Flea_Man
12-10-2008, 09:56 AM
what planet would a pirate most like to visit?


marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

dryerdoor
12-10-2008, 09:58 AM
How do pirates like their math homework?

hARRRRRd!

Flea_Man
12-10-2008, 09:58 AM
what did the chinese pirate contract?

saRRRRRRRRRRRRRRs

dryerdoor
12-10-2008, 10:00 AM
What do young pirates like to play?

Marrrrrrrbles!

Flea_Man
12-10-2008, 10:03 AM
who is a pirates favorite drummer?

Larrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs Ulrich

PanterA
12-10-2008, 10:29 AM
Whats the pirates favorite Star Wars character?

aRRRRRRRRR2d2

dryerdoor
12-10-2008, 10:31 AM
What do pirate captains do with their old log books?

They ARRRRRRRRRchive them!

PanterA
12-10-2008, 01:15 PM
Why didnt the other pirates like the captain?

He was very sarrrrrrrrcastic

SatCam
12-10-2008, 02:34 PM
Why did the pirate go to the doctor?

He had cancarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr