Bunny™
12-10-2008, 05:28 PM
So my lady and I get invited to a dinner party this past Saturday night...it's to be our first experience dining on authentic Indian (dot-head) food. We're not paying for it, so what the hell.
The location: Akbar Restaurant in Edison NJ. (http://www.akbarrestaurant.com/)
For starters, the place is pretty big, it's attached to a Holiday Inn. The parking lot is also pretty big..but if you wanted to park on the premises, you had to valet only. We did not. I will not do valet unless it's a 5-star establishment. Since I do not go to 5-star establishments, I have never valet parked. Especially this night, it was fucking freezing out, there was apparently just one slow Indian fella parking the line of 15 (and counting) vehicles that were idling unattended with the driver doors ajar.
I'll park in the woods, thanks.
So we sit, some shit gets ordered, smells pretty good...not too curry-y and since Melissa and I are both fans of the spicy foods, we expect to be in for a treat.
The Treat: We're no more than 3 minutes in to eating some sort of spicy chicken neck, when she hands her loaded fork over to me.
"Omigod, is this a bug?"
It was NOT an onion.
It was NOT a bug.
It was a fried cockroach
POW
As composed as I have ever seen her, she excuses herself from the table and adjourns to the ladies room to Karen Carpenter her appetizer.
All right, we'll just drink the Indian beer. I forget what it is called, but it comes in a huge bottle and is somewhat pale. Very tasty...and it comes to the table sealed in a bottle. No more open containers or plates for us, please!
I offered to run across the parking lot to pick up a pair of Value Meals at McDonalds.
Now cockroaches enjoy McDonalds too, (but you don't see them (usually)....
Out of sight, out of mind.
I worked at a McDonalds in Weymouth Mass almost 15 years ago, and the place was FUCKING INFESTED with roaches, but you never saw them in the dining area.
So back to the table are we.....management types and this and that (most of the people in our party were Punjabs and while aware of the situation, this didn't deter them from devouring more food.....fucking disgusting people these are - it's true, stereotypes don't just happen out of thin fucking air...especially the ones about Indians/Paki's/Winnipegians...etc) were offering more plates and can we get you anything we're so sorry blah blah.
We both explained very politely (for the situation) that we would not accept anything else that came from the kitchen, and that their time would be better spent serving other customers. Leave us to our beer...and keep it coming, since we had no intention of paying for anything anyways.
I was maybe halfway through my second delicious Allaholic beverage when Melissa and I almost simultaneously spotted movement across the wall behind her seat.
It was roach #2 looking for his broiled friend.
Best Night Ever.
We left in what some would consider a "huff". I think a chair fell over. Also, I'm sure some of the patrons and employees learned some new words as we made our way out the door.
The Edison Dept of Health got an exclusive review of the events of our evening.
They must have liked what they heard because as of this afternoon, the Akbar is shut down.
Heh
http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/5675/akbarsucksum5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
The location: Akbar Restaurant in Edison NJ. (http://www.akbarrestaurant.com/)
For starters, the place is pretty big, it's attached to a Holiday Inn. The parking lot is also pretty big..but if you wanted to park on the premises, you had to valet only. We did not. I will not do valet unless it's a 5-star establishment. Since I do not go to 5-star establishments, I have never valet parked. Especially this night, it was fucking freezing out, there was apparently just one slow Indian fella parking the line of 15 (and counting) vehicles that were idling unattended with the driver doors ajar.
I'll park in the woods, thanks.
So we sit, some shit gets ordered, smells pretty good...not too curry-y and since Melissa and I are both fans of the spicy foods, we expect to be in for a treat.
The Treat: We're no more than 3 minutes in to eating some sort of spicy chicken neck, when she hands her loaded fork over to me.
"Omigod, is this a bug?"
It was NOT an onion.
It was NOT a bug.
It was a fried cockroach
POW
As composed as I have ever seen her, she excuses herself from the table and adjourns to the ladies room to Karen Carpenter her appetizer.
All right, we'll just drink the Indian beer. I forget what it is called, but it comes in a huge bottle and is somewhat pale. Very tasty...and it comes to the table sealed in a bottle. No more open containers or plates for us, please!
I offered to run across the parking lot to pick up a pair of Value Meals at McDonalds.
Now cockroaches enjoy McDonalds too, (but you don't see them (usually)....
Out of sight, out of mind.
I worked at a McDonalds in Weymouth Mass almost 15 years ago, and the place was FUCKING INFESTED with roaches, but you never saw them in the dining area.
So back to the table are we.....management types and this and that (most of the people in our party were Punjabs and while aware of the situation, this didn't deter them from devouring more food.....fucking disgusting people these are - it's true, stereotypes don't just happen out of thin fucking air...especially the ones about Indians/Paki's/Winnipegians...etc) were offering more plates and can we get you anything we're so sorry blah blah.
We both explained very politely (for the situation) that we would not accept anything else that came from the kitchen, and that their time would be better spent serving other customers. Leave us to our beer...and keep it coming, since we had no intention of paying for anything anyways.
I was maybe halfway through my second delicious Allaholic beverage when Melissa and I almost simultaneously spotted movement across the wall behind her seat.
It was roach #2 looking for his broiled friend.
Best Night Ever.
We left in what some would consider a "huff". I think a chair fell over. Also, I'm sure some of the patrons and employees learned some new words as we made our way out the door.
The Edison Dept of Health got an exclusive review of the events of our evening.
They must have liked what they heard because as of this afternoon, the Akbar is shut down.
Heh
http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/5675/akbarsucksum5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)