Jesus Christ

[topless_mike]

did Jesus Christ ever jerk off ?
i mean, he was a healthy man, im sure women threw themselves at him.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

not with those abs


people j/o to him

[midwestjeff]

not with those abs

people j/o to him

Yeah, we call those people Jews.


No wait, that's what we call the people that killed him.

Or maybe that's Romans. I get confused.

[evedder]

it doesnt hurt when I bleed
but memories they eat me

[Snoogans]

Jesus, I like him very much. But he no help...with curve ball

http://sayhey.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/pedro.jpg

[Don Stugots]

it doesnt hurt when I bleed
but memories they eat me

i missed you. welcome back.

[hammersavage]

Know him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks.

[evedder]

i missed you. welcome back.

Be it no concern
Point of no return
Go foward in reverse

This I will recall
Everytime I fall

[Kevin]

Know him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks.



The intrest on that 12 bucks must be ridiculos.

[hammersavage]

nah, my bank doesn't take jew money no matter what. Dang it!

[Snoogans]

nah, my bank doesn't take jew money no matter what. Dang it!

neither does the Inn

[brettmojo]

I don't know, but I hear he was well hung...

Oh wait, he was crucified? Shit I can't keep all those fictional religious stories straight.

He was black though right? That much I know.

[Kevin]

nah, my bank doesn't take jew money no matter what. Dang it!



You shoulda gave it to the Yankees, they LOVE that jew Bloomberg money.

[FezsAssistant]

since we're on the topic of fictional characters...does Bigfoot ever jerk off? or does he fuck holes in trees? or deer?

[brettmojo]

since we're on the topic of fictional characters...does Bigfoot ever jerk off? or does he fuck holes in trees? or deer?
Absolutely. Masturbation is quite common and frequent in the primate family.

[cougarjake13]

did Jesus Christ ever jerk off ?
i mean, he was a healthy man, im sure women threw themselves at him.

yes


he did it no handed

[Coach]

Yes, But after the Crucifiction he could do it without using his fingers.

[Thebazile78]

did Jesus Christ ever jerk off ?
i mean, he was a healthy man, im sure women threw themselves at him.

Read this book:

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend (http://www.amazon.com/Lamb-Special-Gift-According-Childhood/dp/0061438596/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230868787&sr=8-2)

You'll laugh.
You'll cry.
You'll hurl.

And I consider this particular novel in line with Rufus's stories about "The Man" in the film, Dogma, which is to say, not in the least bit sacreligious.

[Marc with a c]

you know he at least shoved that boner through one of his hands at least once.

[Coach]

you know he at least shoved that boner through one of his hands at least once.hence my post.

[Marc with a c]

fuck me sorry

[flipper21]

people j/o to him

Hence the inspiration for the tune "O Come, All Ye Faithful".

[Coach]

This Is weird, I just remembered having this discussion my Sophmore year at Catholic High School in religion class.

[Slumbag]

This Is weird, I just remembered having this discussion my Sophmore year at Catholic High School in religion class.

It's not weird as long as it was IN religion class, and not in a priests bedroom while he rubbed oil on you.

[Coach]

It's not weird as long as it was IN religion class, and not in a priests bedroom while he rubbed oil on you.Whew, okay!

[jennysmurf]

I'm pretty sure this thread is a ticket straight to hell. Besides, it's like talking about your parents doing it or something. It just never happened okay? Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep in the fetal position.....

[epo]

Read this book:

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend (http://www.amazon.com/Lamb-Special-Gift-According-Childhood/dp/0061438596/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230868787&sr=8-2)

You'll laugh.
You'll cry.
You'll hurl.

And I consider this particular novel in line with Rufus's stories about "The Man" in the film, Dogma, which is to say, not in the least bit sacreligious.

As a boy he would kill lizards and re-generate them...he's a maniac!

[Kevin]

As a boy he would kill frogs and re-generate them...he's a maniac!

Alive, dead, alive, DEAD...

Waits a few seconds...

JUST KIDDING..

ALIVE!

Turns around..

And runs giggling like a school girl,, as the confused terrified frog looks on.

[TEXAG]

You should reads your bibles sirs, there's all kind of crazy shit in there ! Like, did you know Jesus was a Jew ?

Yea ?

[PanterA]

Lets just say, there were many 13 man circle jerks in the desert.

[Recyclerz]

Lets just say, there were many 13 man circle jerks in the desert.

So I'm guessing history/theology would be a lot different if Judas wasn't always getting stuck eating the "ookie cookie"? :innocent:

[PanterA]

So I'm guessing history/theology would be a lot different if Judas wasn't always getting stuck eating the "ookie cookie"? :innocent:Well he shouldnt have always came first.

[Coach]

You know what always bothered me about Jesus' time? The didn't eat pigs, yet they raised them. Were they the sanitation of a village?
More Importantly, did Jesus Invent the chair so he could lean back and Jack?

[PanterA]

2 words. Piggy Pussy

[A.J.]

Why would he have to when he could just miracle himself someone to service him.

[Thebazile78]

Why would he have to when he could just miracle himself someone to service him.

But, don't forget that he's the same dude who spent all his time with prostitutes & tax collectors in all those Bible stories.

I'm sure J.C. got more ass than a toilet seat.

[TraceyMcScotch]

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[A.J.]

But, don't forget that he's the same dude who spent all his time with prostitutes & tax collectors in all those Bible stories.

I'm sure J.C. got more ass than a toilet seat.

He was just keeping his Messiah hand strong.

[topless_mike]

what would you call it?

the holy load?
a blessed batch?

and how would you go crank it if you knew your dad was watching from above?

[Furtherman]

and how would you go crank it if you knew your dad was watching from above?

What do you think he was doing in that cave for three days. god can't see through rock!

[flipper21]

what would you call it?

the holy load?
a blessed batch?

and how would you go crank it if you knew your dad was watching from above?

Jizzus