child sexual abuse

[reeshy]

I had to attend a course last month on sexual abuse for my job...As I was watching a certain video tape about child abuse,,,I started having flashbacks..


I was sexually abussed as a kid...for years I never thought about it....now all I can do is dream and think about it...now it hurts like hell and I don't what to do about..

Here I am , a mature heterosexual man, who now has doubts about my sexuality and can't do anything about it because the son of a bitch who raped me when I was 5 is fucking dead...

What cdo I do now!!!!

[ecobag2]

They say that the best method of dealing with this issue is to deal with the issues that arise in your life that may or may not be a result of it. So in essence, identify what your pain is now because the things you deal with and the pain you have, whether they are a result of sexual abuse or not, are what you're dealing with. Period. So you address those things and move on.

-there are support groups
-books
-therapy
-the information superhighway

on and on and on.

All sorts of good stuff out there for you reeshy. Fuck it dude. Really. Don't let it eat you to death. It wont be easy brother but it's kind of like any childhood abuse in the sense that you couldn't do anything about it, it's not your fault (no GWH jokes pls), and it's a bitch going through the therapy.

If you want to make it to the other side though, you will.:happy:

[DarkHippie]

That's hardcore, Reesh. I don't think there is anyone here that is qualified to help you with this, other than just listening. I know I cant even imagine your situation, how horrible you must be feeling.

I think your best bet is to seek professional help. Don't try to tough it out on your own. this is what therapists are for.

As an aside, its good to see you on the board again, buddy :)

[mdr55]

Why don't you go to your employer and ask for a referral to the appropriate resources. Also I'm sure there are support groups out there for you to check out.

[TjM]

Holy shite. That awful man


I would guess therapy would be a good place to start

[Stankfoot]

Here I am , a mature heterosexual man, who now has doubts about my sexuality and can't do anything about it because the son of a bitch who raped me when I was 5 is fucking dead... What cdo I do now!!!!

Reeshy - Everybody's right. Check out what kind of therapy is available through your job and talk to somebody.

But I don't think you should let something someone did to you when you were five make you question your sexuality.

But I'm no expert. Hang in there.

[WhistlePig]

Why do you have doubts about your sexuality? Just because you just remembered? Sometimes this shit is best left buried. I don't believe psychiatrists who say you have to drudge all this shit up to feel better. Sometimes it really doesn't make a difference though society is saying it should. I remember clearly being molested (felt up) at around age 12 but really have no horrible feelings about it. I didn't like it, but it didn't wreck my life and I don't feel any ill will toward the "family friend" that did it. Should I hate him and be in years of therapy? Or does society say these things are much worse than they are?
I'd say bury the feelings again or if you really feel like you can't deal with it see a shrink.

[RoseBlood]

Why do you have doubts about your sexuality? Just because you just remembered? Sometimes this shit is best left buried. I don't believe psychiatrists who say you have to drudge all this shit up to feel better. Sometimes it really doesn't make a difference though society is saying it should. I remember clearly being molested (felt up) at around age 12 but really have no horrible feelings about it. I didn't like it, but it didn't wreck my life and I don't feel any ill will toward the "family friend" that did it. Should I hate him and be in years of therapy? Or does society say these things are much worse than they are?
I'd say bury the feelings again or if you really feel like you can't deal with it see a shrink.

Experiences like this can't be generalized; there's so many variables that make each persons experience different. I know many probably share in your opinion and I can't say one way is better or worse than mine or anybody elses. Like children, you have to take each person as an individual and make adjustments to their personalities, coping skills etc.

Based on his short post, he makes it clear he's having alot of trouble coming to terms with these memories. You may have been able to bury your memories and carried on with your life, but many can not and benefit from help.

What happened to you was unfortunate, but not life altering for you or for most. I along with, probably the majority of women, have been "felt-up" at least one time in their lives. Not saying it's a life-changing experience, but it also depends on circumstances. The times I was "just felt-up" merely left me feeling skeeved out, but hardly left any big impression on my life. I think it's something you learn to deal with as a female, but that's not to say someone else would feel the same way as myself.

Also, we are not just talking about being felt up once by a family friend. We are talking about being raped at a very young age. There are other factors that need to be taken into consideration before assuming one can just get over it: the nature/closeness of the relationship, how often it happened, the severity, how young the person was.. etc.

I don't know alot about it but male sexual abuse should be dealt with differently than female sexual abuse. When a boy is molested by another male, a whole set of issues can arise that don't with females.. sexuality is one of them and also the fact boys are less likely to report anything than girls.

I don't think "society" as you say, makes these things out to be much worse than they are. There is fair and documented reason why its finally being acknowledged and shown in the negative light it should be shown.