Apparently, you do not want Jesus as your co-pilot [Archive]

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furie

01-23-2009, 04:09 PM

Jesus Told Me to Ram that Car, Says Driver (http://www.loweringthebar.net/2008/12/jesus-told-me-to-ram-that-car-says-driver.html)

Contra

01-23-2009, 05:08 PM

Jesus "took the wheel"

Fez4PrezN2008

01-23-2009, 05:15 PM

I think he really ment to say a guy named Jesus Hernandez sold my stash so I chased after him and rammed him. At least that would be more believable. Way to go and make Christianity look even more crazy. I love it how the cop then perpetuates the crazyness.

"A police lieutenant had a different explanation for why there were no injuries. "God must have been with them," he said, "because any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal [crash]." Well, we know God was with at least one of them, but maybe He really was trying to help rather than holding down the gas pedal."

Gvac

01-23-2009, 05:17 PM

I NEVER listen to Jesus when I'm driving. He tries to tell me what to do, but let's face it - he wasn't even here when cars were invented. How much can he really know about driving?

Snoogans

01-23-2009, 05:19 PM

One time when I was at a traffic light, I wasn't looking, and Jesus put my car into neutral. I hit the gas and didn't move and almost shit myself. Funny guy, that Jesus

BlackSpider

01-23-2009, 05:20 PM

My GPS gives me turn-by-turn directions in Jesus' voice...

Gvac

01-23-2009, 05:21 PM

My GPS gives me turn-by-turn directions in Jesus' voice...

That's cheating.

KnoxHarrington

01-23-2009, 05:54 PM

Soon, I discovered this rock thing was true: Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil, Jesus was an architect prior to his career as a prophet. All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world. So there was only one thing I could do -- ding a ding dang my danga langa ling long.

Gvac

01-23-2009, 05:55 PM

What's that, Jesus? Kill Knox Harrington?

Why?

He's my buddy!

STOP TALKING TO ME!!!

beachbum

01-23-2009, 05:58 PM

I generally have a hard time pulling Jesus' voice out of the crowd noise in my head.

instrument

01-23-2009, 06:10 PM

Crime scene investigators could find no tire tracks..................

~Katja~

01-23-2009, 06:55 PM

My GPS gives me turn-by-turn directions in Jesus' voice...

how do you know it's his? or do you mean this dude??
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1034/1223072875_72386b6693.jpg

Morningkill

01-25-2009, 03:22 AM

Jesus is a backseat driver and always complains that he wants some pepsi. YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PEPSI, JESUS, YOU'RE DIABETIC.

Fuck you, Jesus.