Chimpanzee Attack

[MC Pee Pants]

Anyone else see this on the news?
http://www.wpix.com/landing/?Police-Shoot-Kill-Chimpanzee-After-Bizar=1&blockID=215051&feedID=1404

How terrifying would it be trying to fight of a 170lb chimp?

[MacVittie]

any chimp comes at me I'll dig his eye out with my thumb

[MC Pee Pants]

They're so strong, it'll break your arms in a heartbeat.

[Slumbag]

Man, that lady is retarded.
You don't keep a chimp, in a house, wearing a diaper.

From the article:
According to records on Travis, the 15-year-old chimp was toilet trained, dressed himself, and could even log in to a computer to look at pictures. The animal has also appeared in ads for Old Navy and Coca-Cola.
Yeah. OJ Simpson can do all that shit, too. Doesn't mean he won't rip your fucking head off.

[Coach]

How terrifying would it be trying to fight of a 170lb chimp?Slightly more than 1/3rd the terror of trying to fight a 500lb gorilla

[high fly]

That chimp went ape!

[cougarjake13]

Man, that lady is retarded.
You don't keep a chimp, in a house, wearing a diaper.

From the article:

Yeah. OJ Simpson can do all that shit, too. Doesn't mean he won't rip your fucking head off.






i need an ani difranco ruling here

[TheMojoPin]

I've never bought into the idea of living in fear of a home invasion, but with a zoo like only a mile away from me and hearing about how insane chimps are, I now fear a chimpanzee home invasion. Who cares how many locks I have?!? Those fuckers are getting here if they want to, and there's nothing I can do about it.

[JohnGacysCrawlSpace]

He was stabbed and shot, wrestled with police, and tried to steal a car...that nigga ummm chimp got street cred.

[TheMojoPin]

http://photos-683.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v133/206/11/502092683/n502092683_124530_3770.jpg

[MC Pee Pants]

I was wondering who make the first one. How ridiculous wuld a gorilla look trying to get around with its arms broken or cut off?

[made cummsies]

Chimpanzee Attack
and here I thought this was going to be about earl going nuts


Man, that lady is retarded.
You don't keep a chimp, in a house, wearing a diaper.]
No kidding. Diaper or no diaper its a wild animal and isn't a pet

[Dude!]

I've never bought into the idea of living in fear of a home invasion, but with a zoo like only a mile away from me and hearing about how insane chimps are, I now fear a chimpanzee home invasion. Who cares how many locks I have?!? Those fuckers are getting here if they want to, and there's nothing I can do about it.

like they're dumb enough to invade some
pink eye infested rat hole

[ecobag2]

That chimp went ape!

Nice.

Hey - maybe we're focused on the wrong species here.

Bears? Sharks?

... Chimps?

Are they working together? Does anyone have intel on this situation?

[CountryBob]

I think that the Canadian Geese are in on it as well. I have been attacked on 2 seperate occasions - and barely escaped with my life. Damn snakes with wings!

[Gvac]

I heard the vile old twat that owned this beast on the radio this morning. She was saying how well she treated this savage animal, feeding it filet mignon, lobster tails, and wine.

That's not funny...it's revolting.

People are losing their jobs, their homes, their retirement money, etc and this pathetic old whore is spending a fortune spoiling a monkey?

She should be locked up for psychiatric evaluation.

Who knows? Maybe that chimp was banging her.

[KingGeno]

This lady is nuts, and how she came to obtaining a monkey is ridiculous. Things should be banned at being pets. We can't go one or two months without a similar story breaking about some stupid crazy douche twat or some stupid redneck derelict scumbag being killed or allowing their "loving like a son/daughter" pet killing someone else.


Amazing that this lady was feeding this chimp filet mignon and lobster. I would pose as a pet to a crazy lady for that kinda treatment....

Edit: Just read G's "banging her" part, and I wouldn't be suprised. I must reevaluate my "pose as a pet" part. It could take days.

[instrument]

Wouldn't doubt it, people will bang anything

[ToiletCrusher]

Absolutely insane.

If you have to drug your primate with Xanax just so it would be civilized in your home, you need to rethink your entire life.

This woman had what was coming to her. The news story even said that the chimp had stolen her car at one point. That isn't normal behavior even for a suicidal 16 year old human.

These animals were never meant to share a house with people. The first time the chimp tried to break out of the house or anything crazy, I'd rather send it to a zoo or an animal sanctuary.

She got what was coming to her.

I feel bad for the chimp that got drugged, stabbed, beat with a shovel, and shot three times.

Where is PETA on this one? Animal cruelty?

[robot artist]

They did a segment on the CBS Early Show this morning about this incident. Without a break, they followed it immediately with a contest segment, and the graphic at the bottom of the screen read Singing Family Face Off.

[Misteriosa]

chimps have long been known to be very violent creatures. they are omnivores (like us) and routinely go to war with neighboring troops for territory. they also shred the babies to pieces when a new Alpha chimp takes over...

here is a video of a chimp patrol/fight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7XuXi3mqYM

[Furtherman]

http://www.ronfez.net/forums/image.php?u=6498&dateline=1234898913

These people are making me thirsty!

[Dude!]

i heard some of the details of this attack
on O&A yesterday
and it kept me from falling asleep last night

i won't be listening to the 911 tapes

[El Mudo]

Chimpin' ain't easy

[TheMojoPin]

Perhaps it is telling that humans and chimps are like 99% similar genetically-speaking.

Perhaps the chimp should be tried for murder.

[Gvac]

Perhaps it is telling that humans and chimps are like 99% similar genetically-speaking.

Perhaps the chimp should be tried for murder.

That's actually a long standing myth that's become accepted as fact.

We're actually around 93-94% similar.

[TheMojoPin]

That's actually a long standing myth that's become accepted as fact.

We're actually around 93-94% similar.

Close enough.

Why couldn't we be more closely related to the noble gorilla? They're much less goofy looking and tend to use their powers for good.

[robot artist]

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/ef39f1eb8b.jpg (http://www.freeimagehosting.net/)

"Would you like to touch my monkey?
Touch him! Love him! Liebe meine abst-monkey!"

[Furtherman]

We're actually around 93-94% similar.

Close enough.

I just recently read it's actually around 95%.

Our closest relatives are the chimpanzees, with the bonobo species leading the pack.

[nate1000]

I just recently read it's actually around 95%.

Our closest relatives are the chimpanzees, with the bonobo species leading the pack.

http://z.about.com/d/tvdramas/1/0/M/Z/fringe-waltbishop.jpg


"Genetically, cows and humans are distinguishable by only a few lines of DNA."

"The only thing better than a cow is a human. Unless you need milk, then you really need a cow."

[nate1000]

And BTW- this chick needs to be locked up and forgotten.

[JimBeam]

I think he was actually 200 lbs and not the 170 originally reported.

Also, and not to get all Wild Kingdom here, he wasn't a monkey he was an ape. Monkeys have tails.

She got what was coming to her.

Actually her neighbor is the one that got attacked so in fact nothing has happened to the owner of the chimp ... yet. I'm sure she'll be facing a civil suit of some kind.

I know it's not really something to laugh at but I wanna see the footage of the cops retreating to their cars and having the chimp chase them.

From what I read yesterday Connecticut passed a law in October 2003 that said owners of any exotic animals had to have a permit for the animal but that any owned prior to October 1st were grandfathered.

This thing was 15 so I'm guessing she had it prior to the law being passed.

[Misteriosa]

http://z.about.com/d/tvdramas/1/0/M/Z/fringe-waltbishop.jpg


ahhh!!!!!! ruunn!!! its the evil steward, Denethor, from lotr!!!

[ToiletCrusher]

http://fatadelic.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/planetofapes.jpg

[A.J.]

I hate every chimp I see. From chimp an a to chimp an z.

[ToiletCrusher]

I hate every chimp I see. From chimp an a to chimp an z.

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/7333/pictures/Drzaius.jpg

[RogerPodacter]

the lady said that she tried to use a shovel against the monkey before she stabbed it with a knife. i dont understand how she could have just swung that thing like a baseball bat and knocked that moneky hard. i know she was an old lady. but does anyone think a younger person could have used a shovel and defended themselves against this thing? at least gotten the monkey off the old lady before it ripper her face off? i just cant see how the monkey could stand a chance if i'm swinging a shovel at that bitches head.

[Dude!]

the lady said that she tried to use a shovel against the monkey before she stabbed it with a knife. i dont understand how she could have just swung that thing like a baseball bat and knocked that moneky hard. i know she was an old lady. but does anyone think a younger person could have used a shovel and defended themselves against this thing? at least gotten the monkey off the old lady before it ripper her face off? i just cant see how the monkey could stand a chance if i'm swinging a shovel at that bitches head.

the chimp survived being stabbed
ate a womans hands and face off
including her teeth
it ripped the door off the cop car
was shot several times by the cops

and was still able to run into the house
before dying

a shovel wasn't going to do squat against that crazed animal

[Furtherman]

Study: Belligerent chimp proves animals make plans (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090309/D96QN3P01.html)

A canny chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead just like humans, a Swedish study said Monday. Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared.

According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.

"It could be that he is a genius, only more research will tell. On the other hand our research showed the same in orangutans and bonobos so he is not alone,"

This is why I get worried whenever I see chimps just hanging around. You never know what they're up too.

[TheMojoPin]

Study: Belligerent chimp proves animals make plans (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090309/D96QN3P01.html)

The war is all but inevitable. Each chimp counts for 5 fully grown men. God help us if they figure out how to use guns.

[Furtherman]

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[topless_mike]

Study: Belligerent chimp proves animals make plans (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090309/D96QN3P01.html)



This is why I get worried whenever I see chimps just hanging around. You never know what they're up too.

i see them just hanging around every day on my drive to work. i dont need a swedish study to know that they make plans.

[TheMojoPin]

Do the winners at life who make the hack "black people = monkeys" every single time honestly think they're being funny or clever?

[Furtherman]

I'm talking about actually seeing this outside my apartment.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/33/89532242_f2f56e23c8.jpg?v=0

They're up to something, I tells ya!

[topless_mike]

Do the winners at life who make the hack "black people = monkeys" every single time honestly think they're being funny or clever?

it made me chuckle. and im sure a few others, as well.

dont find it funny? dont comment on it.

[Friday]

Do the winners at life who make the hack "black people = monkeys" every single time honestly think they're being funny or clever?

Sadly...the answer is Yes, they do. :thumbdown:

[topless_mike]

my question is this.

what on earth would possess you to even have one of these as a pet?
people that have apes/chimps/bats as pets have issues.

[TheMojoPin]

it made me chuckle. and im sure a few others, as well.

dont find it funny? dont comment on it.

Ah, yes, ye olde "it's my right to say whatever I want, but you shouldn't."

Seriously, EVERY fucking time, someone has to go there. Forget any of the larger arguments about racism or whatever...IT'S HACK.

[TheMojoPin]

my question is this.

what on earth would possess you to even have one of these as a pet?
people that have apes/chimps/bats as pets have issues.

I would say the say the same about anyone with snakes, lizards, ferrets, etc., etc.

Though personally, I don't see the appeal of having an animal inside your home at all. We're disgusting enough to begin with.

[Furtherman]

I don't think I've heard of anyone ever having a pet bat!

[TheMojoPin]

I don't think I've heard of anyone ever having a pet bat!

You don't know the right people.

[topless_mike]

Though personally, I don't see the appeal of having an animal inside your home at all. We're disgusting enough to begin with.

including cats / dogs / kids ?

[TheMojoPin]

including cats / dogs / kids ?

Damn right. I like a clean home.

[A.J.]

I don't think I've heard of anyone ever having a pet bat!

I believe the Munster family on 1313 Mockingbird Lane had one.

[TheMojoPin]

I believe the Munster family on 1313 Mockingbird Lane had one.

Easy to forget when they also had a fucking dragon under the stairs.

And wasn't the bat just Grandpa?

[topless_mike]

i do have to admit, it is hack.
i will try to refrain, but cannot speak for the rest of the savages around here.

i hereby withdraw my chimp comment.

[Furtherman]

Easy to forget when they also had a fucking dragon under the stairs.

And wasn't the bat just Grandpa?

The dragon was Spot.

And yes, I do recall Grandpa taking his bat form, but I don't recall an actual pet bat.

[A.J.]

Easy to forget when they also had a fucking dragon under the stairs.

And wasn't the bat just Grandpa?

The dragon was Spot.

And yes, I do recall Grandpa taking his bat form, but I don't recall an actual pet bat.

Yeah, it was Grandpa but it was the closest ever I saw to a pet bat.

[RoseBlood]

I would say the say the same about anyone with snakes, lizards, ferrets, etc., etc.
I know it's hard to believe, but there are some people who genuinely love and care for snakes, lizards, ferrets. I don't mind lizards and loved playing with my brothers bearded dragon. I'd never own a snake or a ferret though.

We're disgusting enough to begin with.
Speak for yourself.

[TheMojoPin]

I loved playing with my brothers bearded dragon.

Helloooooo mod quote.

Speak for yourself.

And speaking for myself, I am so much cleaner than most of the rest of you.

[sr71blackbird]

The Munsters did not have a pet bat, but they did have a pet Crow. Or Raven.

[disneyspy]

The Munsters did not have a pet bat, but they did have a pet Crow. Or Raven.

spot was a monster that lived under the stairs

[Furtherman]

The dragon was Spot.

spot was a monster that lived under the stairs

Draaaaaagon.

The war is all but inevitable. Each chimp counts for 5 fully grown men. God help us if they figure out how to use guns.

They're getting closer.

Monkey 'kills cruel owner with coconut thrown from tree' (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4970905/Monkey-kills-cruel-owner-with-coconut-thrown-from-tree.html)

The animal threw the missile from the top of a tree after becoming frustrated with his tiring labour, according to reports.

Leilit Janchoom, 48, had employed the monkey to pick coconuts which he could then sell for around 4p each.

The animal – named Brother Kwan – found the work tedious and strenuous but Mr Janchoom refused to let him rest, dishing out beatings if he refused to climb trees.

It is believed that the monkey eventually snapped, and targeted his owner from a high branch with one of the hard-skinned fruits.

[hammersavage]

He can be the Mets 5th starter. What an arm!


I hope Karl Pilkington never reads this thread.

[TheMojoPin]

They're getting closer.

Monkey 'kills cruel owner with coconut thrown from tree' (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4970905/Monkey-kills-cruel-owner-with-coconut-thrown-from-tree.html)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Though this story can't help but be hilarious since I keep picturing a comical "DOINK!" sound when the coconut hits the guy's head.

[A.J.]

They're getting closer.

Monkey 'kills cruel owner with coconut thrown from tree' (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4970905/Monkey-kills-cruel-owner-with-coconut-thrown-from-tree.html)

From the same article:

News of the attacks comes after scientists disclosed this week that a chimpanzee at a Swedish zoo became so annoyed at being gawked at by tourists in a zoo that he started creating weapons to hurl at them.

Zoo riot!

[TheMojoPin]

Zoo riot!

Ew.

I can only imagine what he made those weapons out of.

A gun is bad enough, but a shit gun?

We're doomed.

[sr71blackbird]

This is what this woman looks like now:



GRAPHIC/GROSS (http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2009/11/11/news/photos_stories/screen-capture145609--500x380.jpg)



LINK (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/connecticut_woman_reveals_her_face_UyRIAA19fOecsBD OAW6iEP)

[Dude!]

oh my god

[sr71blackbird]

Real bad.

[Dude!]

Real bad. Only a monkey could love her now

not even a monkey
could love her

[Dude!]

ha ha

i got your quote in
before your edit

it isn't that bad anyway

[topless_mike]

oof.
thats rough.

read the article. this i dont understand.

Earlier this month, Nash's family filed notice with the state of Connecticut, asking for permission to sue the state for $150 million after she claimed officials failed to prevent the attack.

what did the state do?

[Dude!]

oof.
thats rough.

read the article. this i dont understand.



what did the state do?

it's what they didn't do:
forbid people from keeping
apes as pets

greedy relatives are going
to ride this gravy train
all the way

[sr71blackbird]

So you break the law and keep an illegal animal in your house and when that animal attacks you, its the states fault for not enforcing the law?

Doesnt everybody speed in their cars, but how often do you get a ticket?

[PatFromMoonachie]

Susan Boyle's face is lookin pretty good, right about now, huh? ...Sharon, comment?

..God Bless! (trying to stay out of hell!:unsure:)

[Dude!]

So you break the law and keep an illegal animal in your house and when that animal attacks you, its the states fault for not enforcing the law?

Doesnt everybody speed in their cars, but how often do you get a ticket?

that's the point...
in CT it was legal

[sr71blackbird]

Its legal to own a chimpanzee in Connecticut? WTF I thought no one could own one, unless it was a zoo or a circus or something... Thats crazy. Still, if it is legal to own a dog with a bad temperment and it attacks you or someone else, isnt it kind of known that the dog can be viscous? At some point, doesnt it become the persons responsibility? I can see the womans friend suing the woman who had the chimp...

[Judge Smails]

This is what this woman looks like now:



GRAPHIC/GROSS (http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2009/11/11/news/photos_stories/screen-capture145609--500x380.jpg)



LINK (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/connecticut_woman_reveals_her_face_UyRIAA19fOecsBD OAW6iEP)


That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more!

http://www.hbshows.com/images/POPEYE_AND_FRIENDS_VOL_1-18.jpg

[CofyCrakCocaine]

That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more!

http://www.hbshows.com/images/POPEYE_AND_FRIENDS_VOL_1-18.jpg

:lol::clap::lol::clap:

i suppose we'll both pay horribly for this grim glee at someone's expense.

[JohnGacysCrawlSpace]

Maybe they should have spared the D.C. sniper and put this thing down instead.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Maybe they should have spared the D.C. sniper and put this thing down instead.

Ouch. Too mean. You take after Fez.

[Dude!]

Ouch. Too mean. You take after Fez.

lighten up...

i bet you that the priest
who's married to the
pregnant basketball
would love to get
his groove on with
the faceless one

maybe even a 3-way

[A.J.]

This is what this woman looks like now:



GRAPHIC/GROSS (http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2009/11/11/news/photos_stories/screen-capture145609--500x380.jpg)



LINK (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/connecticut_woman_reveals_her_face_UyRIAA19fOecsBD OAW6iEP)

Here is the before pic:

http://media2.wtnh.com//photo/2009/03/17/Chimp_attack_Nash88cdbb69-b855-497d-aa49-01038326dc070000_20090317191343_320_240.JPG

[sr71blackbird]

Wait, so this is the friend of the woman with the chimp, right? So shouldn't she be suing the woman who had the fuckin chimp instead of the state? If I had a wolf and it attacked you at my house, wouldn't I be responsible? If it wasn't a wolf and it was my dog.. Or my crocodile, or my poisonous snake or my gun..whatever..

[meanmrbill]

Wait, so this is the friend of the woman with the chimp, right? So shouldn't she be suing the woman who had the fuckin chimp instead of the state? If I had a wolf and it attacked you at my house, wouldn't I be responsible? If it wasn't a wolf and it was my dog.. Or my crocodile, or my poisonous snake or my gun..whatever..
She's suing both the state and the owner. But, suing the state does seem like a stretch.

[topless_mike]

Wait, so this is the friend of the woman with the chimp, right? So shouldn't she be suing the woman who had the fuckin chimp instead of the state? If I had a wolf and it attacked you at my house, wouldn't I be responsible? If it wasn't a wolf and it was my dog.. Or my crocodile, or my poisonous snake or my gun..whatever..

she is. fitty mil. read the fuckin article.
she wants a hunnit n fitty from da state.

[Furtherman]

Wait, so this is the friend of the woman with the chimp, right? So shouldn't she be suing the woman who had the fuckin chimp instead of the state?

She is suing her too.

[strawberrypop]

It's gotta suck to know that wherever a picture of your face is posted on the internet, it's prefaced by a huge WARNING! GRAPHIC PHOTO IN YOUR FUTURE! message.

That's worth at least 25 mil.

Ya'll should really put up that message before posting pictures of hammersavage at these little get-togethers, by the way.

[Aggie]

Ya'll should really put up that message before posting pictures of hammersavage at these little get-togethers, by the way.

x2 i'm scarred for life.

[strawberrypop]

For real! I think i developed PTSD.

[hammersavage]

x2 i'm scarred for life.

another dream about me?

For real! I think i developed STD.

Thanks for sharing. LITERALLY

[strawberrypop]

Your face looks like it has an STD. Um, unrelated to any I may have, thankyouverymuch.

[CountryBob]

Who in their right mind keeps a chimp in their home? I think she was having sexual relations with it - True Jungle Fever!

[Dude!]

monkey girl should get
one of these:


http://img.breitbart.com/images/2009/5/5/ap-p/f9b7bb0d-a4e1-400d-adbf-3562add99e1b.jpg

[jauble]

Its legal to own a chimpanzee in Connecticut? WTF I thought no one could own one, unless it was a zoo or a circus or something... Thats crazy. Still, if it is legal to own a dog with a bad temperment and it attacks you or someone else, isnt it kind of known that the dog can be viscous? At some point, doesnt it become the persons responsibility? I can see the womans friend suing the woman who had the chimp...

I prefer a more fluid dog.

[mikeyboy]

I prefer a more fluid dog.

:laugh:

[jauble]

:laugh:

I'm glad someone got it.

[opie's twisted balls]

The second woman who was attacked and had her face removed by the naughty monkey decided it was time to appear on Oprah.

Link to full story (http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20091111-tows-charla-nash-chimp)

Charla has dreams for her own future. "I'm not a candidate for a hand transplant because I have no eyesight," Charla says. "I'm hoping somewhere along the line I'll be evaluated and that maybe when I get a face transplant. The hand transplant will be done with it because they have to be done at the same time from the same donor."

from this......
http://i47.tinypic.com/1222o8l.jpg

to this.....
http://i47.tinypic.com/29c57yq.jpg



If you had the misfortune to be attacked by a cranky simian and looked like that mess would you want to go on living?

[TooLowBrow]

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heres a big fuck you to chimp eaten face

[spoon]

wow, that is just awful

how does she even communicate without her mouth and hands!?

i'd be on a monkey killing spree right now if that ever happened to someone i knew

[PapaBear]

She needs a nose job.

[opie's twisted balls]

how does she even communicate without her mouth and hands!?

assistance monkey?

http://scienceblogs.com/culturedish/Debby%20and%20Richard%20Driving.jpg


And ya, while I'd be pissed off at the chimp who would attack any friend or family that would be nothing like the rage directed at the asshole who owned the damn thing.

[TooLowBrow]

She needs a nose job.

oh, kramer!

[TooLowBrow]

assistance monkey?

http://scienceblogs.com/culturedish/Debby%20and%20Richard%20Driving.jpg




i hope that woman is blind and the monkey is the one doing all the steering

[TooLowBrow]

assistance monkey?

http://scienceblogs.com/culturedish/Debby%20and%20Richard%20Driving.jpg



SHES TOO CRIPPLED TO DRIVE BUT NOT CRIPPLED ENOUGH THAT SHE CANT DRESS A MONKEY IN JEANS?!!!?



NO WAY!!!

[PapaBear]

oh, kramer!
Kramer was right, wasn't he?

[opie's twisted balls]

and christ on crutch harpo has gotten fat again

http://i45.tinypic.com/30ro3z5.jpg

time for Gayle and/or Stedman to lay off on feeding Oprah bonbons

[TooLowBrow]

assistance monkey?

http://scienceblogs.com/culturedish/Debby%20and%20Richard%20Driving.jpg




there are so many things wrong with this picture

your assistant should never have a shirt that says 'dont pet me, im working'


AND hes wearing layers

[opie's twisted balls]

there are so many things wrong with this picture

your assistant should never have a shirt that says 'dont pet me, im working'


AND hes wearing layers
and the little feller's not even buckled in! Won't someone think of the monkeys!!!

[TooLowBrow]

i cant even text while driving

shes crippled and she can drive while pretending that the primate dressed as a man sitting in her lap is an assistant, and he gets to help steer!

[opie's twisted balls]

and he gets to help steer!
bluetooth enabled hands free monkey?

[sr71blackbird]

I would rather die, but I have a feeling that if your face is ripped off that you lapse into unconsciousness. Then, the doctors arrive and try and save you and drug you up and induse a coma and before you know it, weeks have passed and you are alive and wake up blind, face missing and no hands. I cannot imagine how that feels. Then it slowly sinks in that no only are you blind, but you are disfigured hideously and can't even grasp a knife to slit your own wrists. Why go on? Nothing good will come of this for this poor woman.

[boosterp]

assistance monkey?

http://scienceblogs.com/culturedish/Debby%20and%20Richard%20Driving.jpg


And ya, while I'd be pissed off at the chimp who would attack any friend or family that would be nothing like the rage directed at the asshole who owned the damn thing.

:lol::lol::lol:

That poor monkey.

[MC Pee Pants]

I'd try to make some money & go around making mumbles about chimp safety. Get it? Mumbles? Like Speeches? But she cant speak, she mumbles cuz she has no mouth? Cuz a chimp ripped it off in a frenzy, the ate it, and he couldnt have been more pleased with the out come? Get it?

[boosterp]

and the little feller's not even buckled in! Won't someone think of the monkeys!!!

Racist.

[TheGameHHH]

that's bananas. i would go ape shit if that happened to me. im just a little curious george about what the doctors did to reconstruct her. i hope they weren't monkeying around

[Misteriosa]

Chimp Attack Victim Reveals New Face (http://jezebel.com/5830178/chimp-attack-victim-reveals-new-face)

Today Charla Nash, who was mauled by a friend's chimpanzee two years ago, revealed the results of the face transplant surgery she had in May. Nash is only the third person in the U.S. to undergo an full face transplant, and so far she's making amazing progress. She also had a double hand transplant, but doctors had to remove the hands due to complications from pneumonia.

Nash said in a statement:

"I will now be able to do things I once took for granted. I will be able to smell. I will be able to eat normally. I will no longer be disfigured. I will have lips and will speak clearly once again. I will be able to kiss and hug loved ones. I am tremendously grateful to the donor and her family."


http://fastcache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/39/2011/08/ap110811025441.jpg

compared to the gaping maw that was her face, this is fantastic. modern medicine at its finest.

[A.J.]

Was the donor the actress who played Tony Soprano's mother?

[Dude!]

http://fastcache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/39/2011/08/ap110811025441.jpg

compared to the gaping maw that was her face, this is fantastic. modern medicine at its finest.

hopefully they sprung for
the extra hundred bucks
to whiten her teeth

[Misteriosa]

hopefully they sprung for
the extra hundred bucks
to whiten her teeth

those teeth got ripped out with the rest of her face :down:

im sure she has shiny new ones now.

[CountryBob]

I'd like to see the donor's face before they died - and compare to it now...

[StanUpshaw]

How terrifying would it be trying to fight of a 170lb chimp?

GSP by 5-round decision.