An explanation

[Tenbatsuzen]

I usually don't post to this forum that much because I usually don't like to share personal details about my life. Sure, you know what TV I have and you know my fear of forkfuls of gravy, but you don't know a lot of deeply personal shit.

I'm still not going to get personal about what is going on in my life, but I'll bottom line it.

I've said some pretty horrible shit on this board in the last week or so. It's not because I want to be the "oooooh, shocking!" poster or something like that. Nor is it some Machievellian scheme to get people to freak out.

I've been wrestling with some serious shit in the back of my head, because I've been dealing with some fears I've had for a long time coming back to haunt me bigtime. That, and seeing a lot of happiness and good things going on in my friends' lives, has turned me into a pile of rage, sadness, jealousy, and other garbage.

That in turn leads to myself projecting in different ways.

To give you an idea, I've been sleeping soundly for the past week. That may be a great sign for some people - for me, it means that things are horribly wrong.

I'm not going to apologize for my statements that I made because I did mean what I said; but perhaps those were thoughts that were better internalized than spewed on the board. But if you want an explanation on why I've been fucked up lately, well, there you go.

[sink]

Wanna eat my ass and hold hands?

[Friday]

Wanna eat my ass and hold hands?

mindreader

[Don Stugots]

Wanna eat my ass and hold hands?

i love it when you talk dirty.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Wanna eat my ass and hold hands?

have sin be the gimp and we'll call it a date.

[weekapaugjz]

Hope you work your shit out. Based on your personality on the board, you don't seem like a quitter, so I'm sure you'll be able to turn things around.

[Thomas Merton]

Huh

Dont know you at all or your board character/schtick other than you are a frequent and consistently interesting poster

But you might have articulated as well as possible the randomness and risk involved with being a "voice" on a message board

thanks for your candor

[Lil oc]

Wanna eat my ass and hold hands?

can I watch? In a purely "sisterly" way of course.

[JPMNICK]

lets all give matty the respect of the forum rules, he posted here for a reason.

matty - everyone hits shitty patches in life. it takes a lot to admit you were wrong. best of luck getting to the bottom of what is bother you and taking it on

[jetdog]

lets all give matty the respect of the forum rules, he posted here for a reason.

matty - everyone hits shitty patches in life. it takes a lot to admit you were wrong. best of luck getting to the bottom of what is bother you and taking it on

he didn't admit he was wrong about anything. in fact he stressed that he was not sorry for anything that he did. this is just a confusing confession of nothing.

[Friday]

this is just a confusing confession of nothing.

...except that he wants to engage sinfiction and sink in a rousing ass-eating session.
with the lovely lil watching, of course.

[TheMojoPin]

Again, note the forum.

[keithy_19]

Keep your head up, budday.

[moochcassidy]

chin up champ.

[brettmojo]

I've been wrestling with some serious shit in the back of my head, because I've been dealing with some fears I've had for a long time coming back to haunt me bigtime.

You're interview with Peter Gammons sucked ass.

[Tenbatsuzen]

You're interview with Peter Gammons sucked ass.

A-Rod is the Donovan McNabb of New York. He can never do anything right.

[jauble]

Hope things get better. I liked some of the dialog we had before I moved.

[topless_mike]

its all good yo.
we all bottom out at some point. things can only get better, right?

you've got a house... a job... and a beautiful and loving wife.

srsly... its all good.


ps- dont play with chimps.

[Kevin]

To give you an idea, I've been sleeping soundly for the past week. That may be a great sign for some people - for me, it means that things are horribly wrong.



This one really made me think...

What does this mean? Can u explain it without giving up anything you do not want people to know?

Just seemed a very odd statement to me.

I would have thought your life was going great..

Got married, bought a house, you even hinted at having kids..

This kinda came out of nowhere..

I just got out of a situation where a fam member really went through some tough shit, mentally. So i kinda get what you are going through.

Wish you nothing but the best

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Life moves too fast and it always seems better on the other side of the pond but that's just your mind fucking with you. Ron said all that should be said about jealousy. Nobody's as happy as you make them out to be, even when they're happier than you.

Regardless of how some people on this board may want you to be, never apologize for who you are or what you say, even if what you say is shit. You can't let a bunch of nofaces tell you how to think or feel. You project your own opinion, and while it's clear we agree there are better times and places than others for full honesty (again, unlike what some here say), you do not threaten anybody with your views.

They just exist. I personally enjoy seeing people lose their shit over something else you said. Maybe I just like sweet boys like you and Spoon.

p.s. Free Spoon.

p.p.s. RIP Matty 2009

[drjoek]

You really ought to apologize for statements that you make AND internalize them in the future.I never really got your contention that it was OK to say things or post them then pick and chose what you stand behind and not take ownership for what you don't want to.

I accept your apology anyway.

[Freitag]

You really ought to apologize for statements that you make AND internalize them in the future.I never really got your contention that it was OK to say things or post them then pick and chose what you stand behind and not take ownership for what you don't want to.

I accept your apology anyway.

When did I say I apologize or pick or choose for what statements I stand behind? The crux of this is saying, "OK, I shouldn't have said that at this particiular time", but I still stand behind the statements.

I swear, some of you are reading what you want to read.

[Freitag]

This one really made me think...

What does this mean? Can u explain it without giving up anything you do not want people to know?

Just seemed a very odd statement to me.

I would have thought your life was going great..

Got married, bought a house, you even hinted at having kids..

This kinda came out of nowhere..

I just got out of a situation where a fam member really went through some tough shit, mentally. So i kinda get what you are going through.

Wish you nothing but the best


My life is great. This is mainly stemming from stress and paranoia. A combination of it is work and personal.