Taking Hero credit for something you didn't do

[ToiletCrusher]

Mine is a lie. One year for christmas, my mother and aunt sent my grandmother on a Cruise through the mediterranean. I didn't get anything for my grandmother so, I took the card and put my name on it. She thanked me as mush as my mom and aunt and even brought me back about one hundred dollars worth of goodies.


What ya got?

[ChrisTheCop]

They use the word "hero" pretty loosely up there, eh?

[ToiletCrusher]

They use the word "hero" pretty loosely up there, eh?

yessir they do. She never left the country before so it was a big deal to her.

[Manster72]

my mom was involved in a car accident nothing serious. but i told the girl i was with that it was bad and i was concerned. she was trying to make points with my family and came from money, so she send a huge arangment of flowers. i interecpted the flowers and threw out the card and gave to my mom. made sume mom love points, called my buddy and was laughing so hard i had tears, she walked in and thought i was crying about my mom and gave me sympathy week worth of blowjobs.

[Serpico1103]

They use the word "hero" pretty loosely up there, eh?

Just like they are with "quarterback."

[WampusCrandle]

my friend and i saw a woman who was walking to her car and dropped two bags of groceries - basically, he picked them all up, put them in the bag, i took it from him because he got a phone call. the woman looked like she was in a hurry so i gave her the bag and preceded to give me ten bucks and a thank you; my friend got jack shit.

[Judge Smails]

When I was in 9th grade, a bunch of us broke into an abandoned warehouse - mostly out of boredom. We smashed up some office furniture, broke windows and glass and put M80s in the toilet tanks etc. etc. (Yeah, I'm not proud of it.)

After about an hour of this we moved on. Then I guess we got bold and moved our revelry to an adjacent building that was NOT abandoned. We knocked over some landscaping bushes and then one guy got the bright idea of breaking into a car in the parking lot. Being white kids from the suburbs - no one knew anything about breaking into cars. So, after a while he picks up a rock and throws it through the driver's window.

At this point I decided I'd had enough and told them I was leaving. While crossing a pedestrian bridge over the highway I had a great view of their shenanigans as they hopelessly tried to hotwire this car. I also got a nice view of two police cars as they pulled up the street and headed their way. I yelled "COPS!" but I guess I was too far away for them to hear me.

For a split second I considered running but then thought this would be an admission of guilt of some kind. Pretty soon they all scattered and one guy ran right for the bridge I was on with a cop running after him. I just acted shocked like I was scared, confused and clueless of what was going on. They ran right by me and to this day I thank the guy for not letting on that he knew me.

Anyway, I must have obstructed and slowed him down just long enough because when I got to the other side of the bridge my friend was sitting on the grass with his hands behind him in cuffs. I was still scared shittless but I'll never forget the look on the cop, who was on his radio, as he just smiled at me like he was trying to get across: "Fear not, citizen. We have apprehended the suspect." I always suspected that the cop assumed that I was the guy who called in the break-in.

[Contra]

I'm not really sure if that applies, but great story JS

[GreatAmericanZero]

i know all the counter-arguments of "blah blah blah we are fans of dark humor blah blah blah lacy peterson blah blah blah" but still, i was disgusted that they gave a prize to a guy that was trying to kill a dog. I know its just me and my caring of dogs, but the only thing a guy who tried to kill a dog should get is a bullet in the head. That fucking hayseed piece-of-shit probably wouldn't even know what to do with those ipod glasses things

[CofyCrakCocaine]

i know all the counter-arguments of "blah blah blah we are fans of dark humor blah blah blah lacy peterson blah blah blah" but still, i was disgusted that they gave a prize to a guy that was trying to kill a dog. I know its just me and my caring of dogs, but the only thing a guy who tried to kill a dog should get is a bullet in the head. That fucking hayseed piece-of-shit probably wouldn't even know what to do with those ipod glasses things

I kill dogs all the time LOL LACY PEDERSUN

[CofyCrakCocaine]

When I was in 9th grade, a bunch of us broke into an abandoned warehouse - mostly out of boredom. We smashed up some office furniture, broke windows and glass and put M80s in the toilet tanks etc. etc. (Yeah, I'm not proud of it.)

After about an hour of this we moved on. Then I guess we got bold and moved our revelry to an adjacent building that was NOT abandoned. We knocked over some landscaping bushes and then one guy got the bright idea of breaking into a car in the parking lot. Being white kids from the suburbs - no one knew anything about breaking into cars. So, after a while he picks up a rock and throws it through the driver's window.

At this point I decided I'd had enough and told them I was leaving. While crossing a pedestrian bridge over the highway I had a great view of their shenanigans as they hopelessly tried to hotwire this car. I also got a nice view of two police cars as they pulled up the street and headed their way. I yelled "COPS!" but I guess I was too far away for them to hear me.

For a split second I considered running but then thought this would be an admission of guilt of some kind. Pretty soon they all scattered and one guy ran right for the bridge I was on with a cop running after him. I just acted shocked like I was scared, confused and clueless of what was going on. They ran right by me and to this day I thank the guy for not letting on that he knew me.

Anyway, I must have obstructed and slowed him down just long enough because when I got to the other side of the bridge my friend was sitting on the grass with his hands behind him in cuffs. I was still scared shittless but I'll never forget the look on the cop, who was on his radio, as he just smiled at me like he was trying to get across: "Fear not, citizen. We have apprehended the suspect." I always suspected that the cop assumed that I was the guy who called in the break-in.

Just so this thread doesn't get drowned by another of Gaz's single note identical rants, this is a great fucking story. I'd give Froshman Smails a Purple Heart if I were that cop.