Man V. Shark

[ecobag2]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k142/newmanruby/photo03.jpg

The War on Sharks Continues (http://www.nypost.com/seven/03122009/news/nationalnews/moment_of_tooth_159201.htm) with a new twist.

A more detailed account...


AP Newswire

Sources indicate that the war on sharks has taken a new turn. Not only are long distance mechanical and/or chemical methods being considered in ongoing government and "comedic team" efforts to exterminate sharks but lightly armed humans are being employed against the underwater predators in an attempt to "strike fear into the hearts" of sharks in their own territory.

Initial efforts are proving effective. One special operative of late spent over 2 hours in underwater combat with a 12 foot tiger shark known in the Gulf of Mexico to wage frequent guerilla warfare against snorklers, spearfishers and even SNUBA enthusiasts. The days of this tiger's reign of terror are over.

Press outlets are reporting the first recorded hand to hand kill for humans as an accident that took place during a spear fishing expedition. The special operator involved - known only as "Big Dick Beeninya" to the public, has successfully feigned remorse to such an extent that execution and PR for the incident has overall been considered a success.

One thing's for sure - the question over whether one should rather fight a shark or a tiger has been settled.

[Judge Smails]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k142/newmanruby/photo03.jpg

Photo: courtesy Gregg Hughes Underwater Boxing Federation

[ecobag2]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k142/newmanruby/photo03.jpg

Photo: courtesy Gregg Hughes Underwater Boxing Federation

I love the GHUBF

[Furtherman]

First of all, that fake AP story is meh.

Second of all, that story of the two hour struggle is suspect. And the guy taking the pictures was... what? Helping? He couldn't get help? He let that guy fight for two hours with a shark?

The story is fishy, at best.

[TripleSkeet]

From what I read the fish was first shot with a harpoon and then they were trying to kill it to put it out of its misery.

Heres my question, how the fuck do you wrestle a shark with just a snorkle? Honestly. Did the shark just sit there and wait while he went up for air? I think these guys killed the shark, then jumped in the water and took pictures of him wrestling a dead fish.

[topless_mike]

its hack.
guy was spearfishing, and the tigershark swam towards him.

if he knew anything about sharks, its that they are very skittish and will always give a curiosity bump.

i cant say i blame him, though. something like that coming at me in the water, and i'd release a floater in my divesuit. he was able to take the shark, because it had no interest in eating him (at the moment). if it was hungry, game over pal.

i've snorkeled with sharks in the area (albeit a large nurse shark, about 35ft down), and your mind is always working on "what ifs".

[topless_mike]

here's a tip

scared of sharks? dont want to be eaten? stay the fuck out of the water.


snoogans, you may hijack that and repackage it.

[TripleSkeet]

its hack.
guy was spearfishing, and the tigershark swam towards him.

if he knew anything about sharks, its that they are very skittish and will always give a curiosity bump.

i cant say i blame him, though. something like that coming at me in the water, and i'd release a floater in my divesuit. he was able to take the shark, because it had no interest in eating him (at the moment). if it was hungry, game over pal.

i've snorkeled with sharks in the area (albeit a large nurse shark, about 35ft down), and your mind is always working on "what ifs".

Ok, but if you shoot it with a spear gun, will it stay there and wrestle with you for 2 hours? Or when you go up for air will it just swim away? Because I have a hard time believing it was strong enough to wrestle with, but not to swim away.

[topless_mike]

Ok, but if you shoot it with a spear gun, will it stay there and wrestle with you for 2 hours? Or when you go up for air will it just swim away? Because I have a hard time believing it was strong enough to wrestle with, but not to swim away.

you hit that with a spear gun, and it will indeed try to swim away.
and a 12ft TS has alot more muscle than a human. it would have dragged him until
a) diver let go to surface for air
b) diver drowned

either way. i hope this guy gets eaten next time.

[TheMojoPin]

This man is a hero for all of humanity to embrace.

Fuck sharks.

[topless_mike]

Fuck sharks.

I expected something better from you...

[TheMojoPin]

I've explained my sound condemnation of sharks in great detail on this board numerous times already. No need to rehash it...they know what they did.

And they're gonna pay.

[topless_mike]

I've explained my sound condemnation of sharks in great detail on this board numerous times already. No need to rehash it...they know what they did.


http://l.yimg.com/img.movies.yahoo.com/ymv/us/img/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/jaws/richard_dreyfuss/jaws2.jpg

Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, ah, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks. And that's all.

[TheMojoPin]

That hippie bastard.

Quint knew where it was at.

He must be avenged.

A THOUSAND SHARKS FOR EVERY HUMAN LIFE LOST.

[Snoogans]

here's a tip

scared of sharks? dont want to be eaten? stay the fuck out of the water.


snoogans, you may hijack that and repackage it.

ive already made this point a thousand times. I hope they do wipe out all the sharks, then once the planet gets over run with what they eat, and the whole system gets fucked up and we all die, I'll just be laughing my ass off.


LEAVE THE SHARKS ALONE

[TheMojoPin]

I don't want to kill all sharks...just the jerks.

Bulls, Tigers, Great Whites, White Tips...DEAD.

[nate1000]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k142/newmanruby/photo03.jpg

Photo: courtesy Gregg Hughes Underwater Boxing Federation

HEY!

The first rule of underwater Fight Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT UNDERWATER FIGHT CLUB!!!

[Snoogans]

I don't want to kill all sharks...just the jerks.

Bulls, Tigers, Great Whites, White Tips...DEAD.

the only jerks are bulls, ill give you that. White sharks are practically blind, they arent attacking humans. In fact they dont like us, so when they do bite us, thats why they just let us go. And white tips dont really bother people UNLESS THEY INVADE THEIR AREA. Again, none of these sharks come on land.

You get eaten by lions when you walk in the jungle, no one gets upset about that

[WampusCrandle]

A THOUSAND SHARKS FOR EVERY HUMAN.

sounds like a tasty dinner for me!

[TheMojoPin]

the only jerks are bulls, ill give you that. White sharks are practically blind, they arent attacking humans. In fact they dont like us, so when they do bite us, thats why they just let us go. And white tips dont really bother people UNLESS THEY INVADE THEIR AREA. Again, none of these sharks come on land.

You get eaten by lions when you walk in the jungle, no one gets upset about that

Fuck this "invade their area" shit. The ocean is huge, for one, and White Tips purposely follow ships and shit. They're the ones "invading the area!" That's why they're right there to chow down on the survivors of shipwrecks.

Fucking dicks.

And oooooh, Mr. Great White is just biting by accident! Too bad that accident takes a giant chunk out of you or most of a limb.

Just like chimps, they need to be taken down before it's too late.

[Snoogans]

Fuck this "invade their area" shit. The ocean is huge, for one, and White Tips purposely follow ships and shit. They're the ones "invading the area!" That's why they're right there to chow down on the survivors of shipwrecks.

Fucking dicks.

And oooooh, Mr. Great White is just biting by accident! Too bad that accident takes a giant chunk out of you or most of a limb.

Just like chimps, they need to be taken down before it's too late.

umm again, we arent supposed to be on the ocean on ships. You are fuckin insane if you dont think Lions and shit are out there following whats in the safari jeeps, just waiting for some dummie to step out.


If you dont wanna get bit by a shark, dont go in the ocean. You have to cross the ocean, fly if you dont wanna be on the water. But dont act like humans belong in the water, and that sharks are wrong. They eat what comes in the water, thats WHAT THEY DO. And we still go in. Who fucked up?

[TheMojoPin]

umm again, we arent supposed to be on the ocean on ships. You are fuckin insane if you dont think Lions and shit are out there following whats in the safari jeeps, just waiting for some dummie to step out.


If you dont wanna get bit by a shark, dont go in the ocean. You have to cross the ocean, fly if you dont wanna be on the water. But dont act like humans belong in the water, and that sharks are wrong. They eat what comes in the water, thats WHAT THEY DO. And we still go in. Who fucked up?

This planet is ours. Everything else needs to be put in line.

The warning sign:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tn99uXbPrPs&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tn99uXbPrPs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Snoogans]

see thats the problem. The ocean is NOT ours. Its the ONLY part of the planet we dont naturally exist and cant exist. Maybe that should tell you something. And good for that shark.

If someone came in my house, he better be ready for the same fuckin fight.


the ocean isnt ours. Never will be

[hammersavage]

The ocean is NOT ours. Its the ONLY part of the planet we dont naturally exist and cant exist.

I'm gonna tell the sky the bad news.

[Snoogans]

I'm gonna tell the sky the bad news.

we live in the sky technically. Atmosphere extends all the way to the ground. Mountains go up into the sky and we live on those. NO ONE lives underwater

[TheMojoPin]

we live in the sky technically. Atmosphere extends all the way to the ground. Mountains go up into the sky and we live on those. NO ONE lives underwater

Yet. As soon was take care of those finned sonsofbitches it's all ours.

[topless_mike]

The ocean is huge, for one, and White Tips purposely follow ships and shit.

just following the gravy train

[hammersavage]

I'm gonna tell the core the bad news.

[Snoogans]

Yet. As soon was take care of those finned sonsofbitches it's all ours.

I tell you what. If you can go underwater for 20 minutes with no artifical air and not die, then ill accept we own the oceans. Any time you're ready

[TheMojoPin]

I tell you what. If you can go underwater for 20 minutes with no artifical air and not die, then ill accept we own the oceans. Any time you're ready

So by that logic, when we're on the surface sharks should leave us the fuck alone since they can't live outside of the water.

SHARK-LOVING HYPOCRITE.

[nate1000]

Sorry, boys, but I am officially dumber than when I started reading this thread.

I thought pot talk was reserved for Mondays?

[topless_mike]

that white must have been a juvy. no more than 4-5 feet long

[nate1000]

that white must have been a juvy. no more than 4-5 feet long

that's a Tiger and every inch of eight feet.

[Snoogans]

So by that logic, when we're on the surface sharks should leave us the fuck alone since they can't live outside of the water.

SHARK-LOVING HYPOCRITE.

you are still in the water. No one has been EATEN by a shark while not somewhat immersed in the water. Stop it. Your point is terrible, and you lose.

I win


Good day, sir

[topless_mike]

that's a Tiger and every inch of eight feet.

tigers have round snouts.
this is pointy. almost made me thing it was a mako at first glance.

[Snoogans]

tigers have round snouts.
this is pointy. almost made me thing it was a mako at first glance.

it has a very tiger like tail though. It definately wasnt a white

[hammersavage]

you are still in the water. No one has been EATEN by a shark while not somewhat immersed in the water. Stop it. Your point is terrible, and you lose.


Tell it to the guy Greg Norman blew.

[TheMojoPin]

you are still in the water. No one has been EATEN by a shark while not somewhat immersed in the water. Stop it. Your point is terrible, and you lose.

I win


Good day, sir

Fuck that. People get rocked by sharks all the time because they're on a surfboard. STAY OFF THE SURFACE, SHARKY. GET TO THE BACK OF THE OCEAN.

[topless_mike]

it has a very tiger like tail though. It definately wasnt a white

in the mojo vid, that is a white.
the tail fin and underbelly coloration give it away.

[topless_mike]

that's a Tiger and every inch of eight feet.

not in the video...

[TripleSkeet]

we live in the sky technically. Atmosphere extends all the way to the ground. Mountains go up into the sky and we live on those. NO ONE lives underwater

Except the manager that lives in this place...

http://www.likecool.com/Poseidon_Underwater_Hotel--Building--Home.html

[Snoogans]

artifical air. He isnt living in the water

[scottinnj]

"comedic team" efforts to exterminate sharks...

WTF? We're gonna drop Dice and an "opener to be announced" into the drink to kill this evil scourge?

"Hickory Dickory Dock...That shark just bit off my cock!"


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

[scottinnj]

STAY OFF THE SURFACE, SHARKY. GET TO THE BACK OF THE OCEAN.

Racist.

[TheMojoPin]

Racist.

I think I'm actually a specist.

[scottinnj]

I think I'm actually a specist.

There's medication for that. Ointments, I do believe.

[Snoogans]

I think I'm actually a specist.

Ive sent out your thoughts to all my shark friends. A couple bulls are sneakin their way into Lake Michigan. Watch your back

[TheMojoPin]

How great would it be if some warships went and hung out where Great Whites do their fucking "Air Jaws" thing (see?!? Soon they will fly!) and then just unleashed those anti-missile galting guns on those white-bellied devils?

[Snoogans]

How great would it be if some warships went and hung out where Great Whites do their fucking "Air Jaws" thing (see?!? Soon they will fly!) and then just unleashed those anti-missile galting guns on those white-bellied devils?

They jump out of the water. No one seems to have a problem when dolphins or whales break. Or even most normal fish. STOP DISCRIMINATING.

ACLU on yo ass

[TheMojoPin]

I hate dolphins, too.

They're the rapists of the sea.

[scottinnj]

Ive sent out your thoughts to all my shark friends. A couple bulls are sneakin their way into Lake Michigan. Watch your back

I Knew it. Snoogans is Aquaman's secret identity. Traitor to all air-breathing mammals, you are.
http://www.dearreid.com/grc/aquaman.jpg

[Snoogans]

I Knew it. Snoogans is Aquaman's secret identity. Traitor to all air-breathing mammals, you are.
http://www.dearreid.com/grc/aquaman.jpg

you seem to be confusing me with Vinny Chase

[scottinnj]

you seem to be confusing me with Vinny Chase

Nah. Your one-liners are funnier.

[Snoogans]

Nah. Your one-liners are funnier.

Im also a way better actor. And I'm fuckin serious about that.

[scottinnj]

Im also a way better actor. And I'm fuckin serious about that.

I got nothing dude. You're too fast for me. A fucking comedic ninja-quick and deadly.

[Snoogans]

I got nothing dude. You're too fast for me. A fucking comedic ninja-quick and deadly.

ohh.....well then just go get me some coffee or something.....

[scottinnj]

ohh.....well then just go get me some coffee or something.....

Well I can say my time spent on this board has made me look like a genius at work, but that's not saying much.

[Snoogans]

Well I can say my time spent on this board has made me look like a genius at work, but that's not saying much.

are you like Kevin?

ya know, read funny shit on the board, steal it, and have a group of friends who think you are hilarious?

[scottinnj]

are you like Kevin?

ya know, read funny shit on the board, steal it, and have a group of friends who think you are hilarious?

Nope, it just makes my shit better. The stuff on the board is "practice time" for the real world.

If I use something from the board, I always give credit to the writer, usually I'm telling someone at work about a funny line one of you said.

Edit: And it's usually a line bashing the NY Giants or the Mets. My guys can't get enough of that.

[disneyspy]

Nope, it just makes my shit better. The stuff on the board is "practice time" for the real world.

If I use something from the board, I always give credit to the writer, usually I'm telling someone at work about a funny line one of you said.



i once told some friends that in hippos thread about loosin his job marc w/ a c had said "keep your chins up" they thought i was goin tarded so i;ve never told anyone i read a messageboard since

[scottinnj]

<script src="http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/js/2.0/video/evp/module.js?loc=dom&vid=/video/world/2009/03/16/biddulph.australia.sharks.itn" type="text/javascript"></script><noscript>Embedded video from <a href="http://www.cnn.com/video">CNN Video</a></noscript>

[Snoogans]

SWIM IN A POOL YOU FUCKIN MORONS. Anyone who even gets on the sand of the beach in Australia deserves to be bit by one of the 40 million sharks in the water. GET IN A POOL, OR STAY IN THE SAFETY NETS. OR DIE

[A.J.]

we live in the sky technically. Atmosphere extends all the way to the ground. Mountains go up into the sky and we live on those.

Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there

http://www.planete.qc.ca/quisuisje/images/jon-anderson-yes.jpg

[A.J.]

How great would it be if some warships went and hung out where Great Whites do their fucking "Air Jaws" thing (see?!? Soon they will fly!) and then just unleashed those anti-missile galting guns on those white-bellied devils?

My ships have just the thing to stop these aquatic assassins.

http://www.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/ORD_Phalanx_CIWS_Firing_lg.jpg

[topless_mike]

SWIM IN A POOL YOU FUCKIN MORONS. Anyone who even gets on the sand of the beach in Australia deserves to be bit by one of the 40 million sharks in the water. GET IN A POOL, OR STAY IN THE SAFETY NETS. OR DIE

:thumbup:

[topless_mike]

white-bellied devils?

so white things are the devil now?
racist.

[TripleSkeet]

Im also a way better actor. And I'm fuckin serious about that.

They didnt hire him for his acting chops, they hired him because girls want to fuck him. Looks like hes got you beat there.

[topless_mike]

Looks like hes got you beat there.

snoogs is very fuckable.

[Snoogans]

They didnt hire him for his acting chops, they hired him because girls want to fuck him. Looks like hes got you beat there.

you put me on a hit TV show and id get WAY more pussy then that fag vinny chase. He gets pussy on the show cause its written in the script. you think he was pullin in huge sums of pussy of fuckin Drive Me Crazy?

[TjM]

This man is a hero for all of humanity to embrace.

Fuck sharks.

Sharks are amazing


Fuck that diver

[TjM]

Fuck this "invade their area" shit. The ocean is huge, for one, and White Tips purposely follow ships and shit. They're the ones "invading the area!" That's why they're right there to chow down on the survivors of shipwrecks.

Fucking dicks.

And oooooh, Mr. Great White is just biting by accident! Too bad that accident takes a giant chunk out of you or most of a limb.

Just like chimps, they need to be taken down before it's too late.

They were there first. Humans don't belong in the fucking ocean

[TheMojoPin]

Yeah, but we're here NOW, and we rule.

Sharks have only gotten smaller and weaker over the course of history.

It's time for us to help them GTFO.

[Snoogans]

Yeah, but we're here NOW, and we rule.

Sharks have only gotten smaller and weaker over the course of history.

It's time for us to help them GTFO.

watch out on the water:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6Nis1Lz3ngQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6Nis1Lz3ngQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[TheMojoPin]

Sharks used be epic...they used to be monsters! Their evolutionary scale is like the exact opposite of ours. THE SEAS BELONG TO US NOW.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Sharks used be epic...they used to be monsters! Their evolutionary scale is like the exact opposite of ours. THE SEAS BELONG TO US NOW.

Manifest Destiny states that Sharkes are for pussies

Let's machine gun all the baby sharkes!!

[TjM]

O SHIT!!!

WE ARE FUCKED!

http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/210/pbcreature.png

[Snoogans]

Sharks used be epic...they used to be monsters! Their evolutionary scale is like the exact opposite of ours. THE SEAS BELONG TO US NOW.

so eventually their will be 60 foot humans?

BULLSHIT. Sharks have been here way longer. I hope you find your way into the florida oceans and are simultaneously bit by a white shark and a crocodile

[TjM]

oops

[TheMojoPin]

That would never happen. I'm cool with crocodiles.

[Snoogans]

Since when has Brodur been overrated?

Also Farve also has the most INT's. Slightly above average at best

did you click the wrong thread?

[Snoogans]

That would never happen. I'm cool with crocodiles.

but you hate sharks? SHARKS NEVER CAME ON LAND TO KILL. Not like CROCODILES DO


You are so ass backwards

[topless_mike]

Manifest Destiny states that Sharkes are for pussies

Let's machine gun all the baby sharkes!!

They are one step ahead of you.
I'll see your machine gun and raise you:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_76AfGbIzxyg/SA4lIHL_ZOI/AAAAAAAAABk/f23nnN8XbvY/s400/Sharks+with+Laser+Beams.JPG

[Snoogans]

They are one step ahead of you.
I'll see your machine gun and raise you:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_76AfGbIzxyg/SA4lIHL_ZOI/AAAAAAAAABk/f23nnN8XbvY/s400/Sharks+with+Laser+Beams.JPG

we couldnt get those


all we have is ill tempered sea bass

[TheMojoPin]

but you hate sharks? SHARKS NEVER CAME ON LAND TO KILL. Not like CROCODILES DO


You are so ass backwards

Crocodiles are like us. We go where we want and rule both the seas and the land.

[Snoogans]

Crocodiles are like us. We go where we want and rule both the seas and the land.

and eat people

[topless_mike]

Crocodiles are like us. We go where we want and rule both the seas and the land.

Sharks pwn Crocs.

[TheMojoPin]

and eat people

Hey, shit happens.

[Snoogans]

Hey, shit happens.

why isnt it just shit happening with sharks when people INVADE THEIR HOMES

[TheMojoPin]

Sharks pwn Crocs.

False.

[TheMojoPin]

why isnt it just shit happening with sharks when people INVADE THEIR HOMES

Because sharks are dicks.

[Snoogans]

thats not real. I hate those dumb shows. It depends on the individual animal



And Mojos are dicks too, we arent tryin to exterminate them

[topless_mike]

cause we've all got a lil mojo in us, baby

http://blogs.rockymountainnews.com/bridget/AustinPowers.jpg

[ecobag2]

This man is a hero for all of humanity to embrace.

Fuck sharks.

Propganda: 1

Sharks: 0

We all lose.

[Gvac]

One step closer to my master plan of paving and chlorinating the oceans.

[Snoogans]

One step closer to my master plan of paving and chlorinating the oceans.

which would kill the entire world, including you

[Gvac]

which would kill the entire world, including you

Not at all.

[Snoogans]

Not at all.

we arent seriously gonna discuss this are we?

[Gvac]

we arent seriously gonna discuss this are we?

You can be as serious as you'd like.

I'm telling you we have no need for that God awful salt water or the hideous beasts that live in it.

[Snoogans]

You can be as serious as you'd like.

I'm telling you we have no need for that God awful salt water or the hideous beasts that live in it.

that may be true. but the ecological changes that would occur from killing everything in the ocean would effectively ruin the planet everywhere

not to mention the economical impact

[Gvac]

that may be true. but the ecological changes that would occur from killing everything in the ocean would effectively ruin the planet everywhere

Says who?

[Snoogans]

Says who?

science and economy

[Gvac]

You want to talk economy? Do you know how much money a safe and clean ocean could bring in? Not to mention how many jobs we'd create getting men to pave it.

[Snoogans]

You want to talk economy? Do you know how much money a safe and clean ocean could bring in? Not to mention how many jobs we'd create getting men to pave it.

not as much as the massive amount that comes in from commercial fishing, recreational things. You would put way more people out of jobs and alot of countries would fail because of it

[topless_mike]

One step closer to my master plan of paving and chlorinating the oceans.

pick one.
you cant have both.

[ecobag2]

One step closer to my master plan of paving and chlorinating the oceans.

They say the deep end is pretty deep.

And no one finishes a lap.

[Furtherman]

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/io9/2009/05/reallifemegashark.jpg

Enormous Shark’s Secret Hideout Finally Discovered (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/05/baskingshark/)

Oddly enough, it wasn't on Shark Island.

[topless_mike]

its quite awe-inspiring that something this large (as well as the whale shark and greenland shark) wont eat me.

i really like his tracking technique. that pop off tag is a great idea.

[high fly]

They say the deep end is pretty deep.




.......which means you can have really tall high-dives...