Helping a friend cope with dying sister

[sr71blackbird]

My friend's sister is dying from MS and she is very distraught. What can I do to help her? I already told her I will be there for her. Is there anything to say or offer other than that?

[Furtherman]

That's the best you can do. Maybe check up on him every once in a while with a phone call, but leave it as a personal family matter.

[Death Metal Moe]

My suggestion is just be honest. Offer any help you can and don't offer to do more than you can. Since everyone is different I don't think there's a model you can follow for what a grieving person would want and what a care giver can offer.

It all just blows from all sides.

[instrument]

this is an odd question...

i have a friend that's slowly losing her mind from ms, i've known her for ten years and its awful to see.

what else could you do?

[TripleSkeet]

Honestly dude, theres nothing you can do but be a shoulder to cry on. I dont think theres anything you can say to make her feel better, and trying could only make it worse. A hug is about all you can offer. Sometimes thats what people really need.

[foodcourtdruide]

All you can do is be there. Don't be too aggressive or you'll have a negative impact on her.

[sr71blackbird]

My friend is withdrawing because of it. I just wondered if I should try and do more than just say I will be there for her. The MS has destroyed her sisters mental ability as well as her ability to walk. She is basically bedridden at this point and blind.

[topless_mike]

dont try to be the savior.

she's being swamped with the usual "i'm here for you" rhetoric from probably everyone that knows the deal. if she's your friend, and you guys are tight, its understood that you are there for her, without it being said.

when shit gets thick, you'll know what to do.

[Death Metal Moe]

My friend is withdrawing because of it. I just wondered if I should try and do more than just say I will be there for her. The MS has destroyed her sisters mental ability as well as her ability to walk. She is basically bedridden at this point and blind.

If she's not the primary caregiver you would offer to take her out for something to eat or something similar, if that's not too forward, to help get her mind off it for awhile.

[topless_mike]

If she's not the primary caregiver you would offer to take her out for something to eat or something similar, if that's not too forward, to help get her mind off it for awhile.

i agree.
she's probably mad overwhelmed about all this. she needs not a good time, but something OTHER than bad shit.

[sr71blackbird]

Thanks. I do a lot of that stuff now anyway. She tells me she has not slept in days and she's not eating well etc. We saw her sister on Saturday night and she was in her bedroom, and my friend goes into her room and lays down with her for a while and talked, while I hung out with her husband and just talked about random shit. When she came out of the room, I saw she was very upset and she told me later her sister was totally out of it and her mind is shot. She didn't know who she was and stuff. That really bothered her and I tried to offer whatver hope I could but I was at a total loss. I had nothing I could say that would help and I felt powerless and useless. Since then she has been in a deep funk and I really do not know what to do. I guess she just needs to go though it on her own. I try and be a good friend.