You're locked in your house and have to poop, where do you go? (no bathrooms)

[LordJezo]

My dog freaked out yesterday and crapped in our place so that got me thinking of what I would do in his situation.

Some rules:

1) You cannot use the bathroom, they are sealed shut.

2) You cannot go outside, the doors and windows are sealed shut.

3) You can't use the sink.

4) you can't use a garbage can.

5) No tupperware or other sealable things

6) Has to be like a dog, dogs cant manipulate many things. You can crap under the couch or hide it under a rug, but you can't make poop in something that you can lock up and never notice.

So where would you make doodies?

I think I'd crap in the back of the closet with my water heater. It's out of the way and it wont stink up my clothes or towels. Hopefully the stink wont seep out too much into the kitchen. Also has a linoleum floor so it will be easier to clean up when I am finally able to.

[ANC]

In a tupperware I could throw out later... a no brainer.


P.S. Doodies? Really? :lol:

[Farthammer]

I would shit on the recliner as I could sit while doing just like the toilet.

[LordJezo]

In a tupperware I could throw out later... a no brainer.

Okay rule 5: no tupperware. Dog cant use tupperware so neither can you. Or plastic bags or other sealable things.

[ToiletCrusher]

I'd probably do it in a tissue box. Not only for the easy clean up but imagine the next fool who wants a tissue.

[ChrisTheCop]

Crap onto a paper towel and throw it in a garbage bag til you can throw it out.

Edit: ok..another thread where the rules change...

are we a dog?? or a person whose bathroom is locked and all the bags and tupperware are in there? geez...

I'd still say on a paper towel, or newspaper, and try to seal it in a box or something til I can get out and throw it away properly.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Newspaper in the Woods, with napkins tissues or paper towels to clean up

Ofcourse I would curb myself

[ANC]

Okay rule 5: no tupperware. Dog cant use tupperware so neither can you. Or plastic bags or other sealable things.

then in my fireplace and the stench can go up the flue.

[TooLowBrow]

in the kitty litter box

http://www.kristianhoffman.com/images/kitty-litter.jpg

[LordJezo]

Crap onto a paper towel and throw it in a garbage bag til you can throw it out.

Rule 4: no garbage cans! That includes crapping somewhere and then putting it in the garbage can.

[ANC]

I like how as we answer, you edit the rules... :lol:

[mikeyboy]

My dog freaked out yesterday and crapped in our place so that got me thinking of what I would do in his situation.

Some rules:

1) You cannot use the bathroom, they are sealed shut.

2) You cannot go outside, the doors and windows are sealed shut.

3) You can't use the sink.

4) you can't use a garbage can.

5) No tupperware or other sealable things

6) Has to be like a dog, dogs cant manipulate many things. You can crap under the couch or hide it under a rug, but you can't make poop in something that you can lock up and never notice.

So where would you make doodies?

I think I'd crap in the back of the closet with my water heater. It's out of the way and it wont stink up my clothes or towels. Hopefully the stink wont seep out too much into the kitchen. Also has a linoleum floor so it will be easier to clean up when I am finally able to.

Are you planning for the standoff when the liberals surround your home?

[ChrisTheCop]

I like how as we answer, you edit the rules... :lol:

Next, we'll all be paralyzed and have diarrhea.

[ANC]

Next, we'll all be paralyzed and have diarrhea.

:lol:

[LordJezo]

I like how as we answer, you edit the rules... :lol:

Yeah well, I am trying to convey the concept of having to crap like a dog and being forced to spend time with your own poops.

I knew their would be loopholes, I'm just trying to iron them all out as I go along. This is a new concept, it needs a little work.

[Misteriosa]

how about the time honored pet tradition of shitting in your master's shoes?

[ANC]

Yeah well, I am trying to convey the concept of having to crap like a dog and being forced to spend time with your own poops.

I knew their would be loopholes, I'm just trying to iron them all out as I go along. This is a new concept, it needs a little work.

Then why our home? Where our wives sleep? where our children come to play with their toys?


Why not just say you're in am empty room with 4 walls and no door? Just sayin'

[ChrisTheCop]

Then why our home? Where our wives sleep? where our children come to play with their toys?


Why not just say you're in am empty room with 4 walls and no door? Just sayin'

Because he wants our kids to play with the new toys we just made for them.

[ToiletCrusher]

I'd dump on my roommate's bed and then give him that slightly ashamed look when he comes home.

[KingGeno]

Just shit in the chimney and burn it for heat.

[DolaMight]

I would shit in a basket connected to a remote control helicopter and fly it through my neighbors bathroom window and air drop it into their toilet.

Unless that's against the revised rules. If so then I would just put it here
http://www.ronfez.net/forums/images/skins/rf_blue/buttons/newthread.gif
Like you did with this thread.

[jessicaduh]

i'd be too busy licking my balls to even consider it.

[ToiletCrusher]

Or, I'd roll up a corner of my rug and poop on the floor and cover it back up.

[LordJezo]

Because he wants our kids to play with the new toys we just made for them.

That and I am sure your house has some open nooks and crannies that you can use to poo in. Like the corer of the basement. This is about being forced to face your poop and deal with it like a helpless dog would.

[mikeyboy]

I think this counts as campaigning in the creep tourney.

[hammersavage]

I'd shit in my hat. Cuz I'm always threatening it anyways

[ToiletCrusher]

Ok, I think I understand the rules now..

I'd poop on my dog.

[ANC]

I'd shit in my hat. Cuz I'm always threatening it anyways

yes, but will you pull it down over your ears?

[hammersavage]

yes, but will you pull it down over your ears?

No. that's creepy.


I'd also try a sock because it seems like a good fit but would take some skill

[Furtherman]

So where would you make doodies?

On your face.

[Jujubees2]

I would take a big ol' dump on a photo of Obama to show I feel about this damn liberal administration that is taking away all our freedoms and turning us into a Socialist country!

[LordJezo]

Are you planning for the standoff when the liberals surround your home?

Naa, that was planned when talking to a neighbor a few days ago about guns. Everyone's armed and scared of Obama. He was talking about how Obama is going to take away all of our weapons and how he's making it really hard to get ammo.

Like I have been saying, the general public is worried about their future and they way Obama is destroying us all.

[jessicaduh]

by "general public," you pretty much just mean the right wing nutjobs who listen to nothing but talk radio and watch nothing but fox news.

[razorboy]

Ok, I think I understand the rules now..

I'd poop on my dog.

That'll learn him.

[Hottub]

Then why our home? Where our wives sleep? where our children come to play with their toys?


Why not just say you're in am empty room with 4 walls and no door? Just sayin'

:thumbup:

[jessicaduh]

Ok, I think I understand the rules now..

I'd poop on my dog.

wait,can't you just do it on yourself?

[Tenbatsuzen]

I think this counts as campaigning in the creep tourney.

Campaigning? This is gonna be like Reagan vs. Mondale.

[LordJezo]

by "general public," you pretty much just mean the right wing nutjobs who listen to nothing but talk radio and watch nothing but fox news.

i pretty much mean not hard leftists from internet message boards.

[RhinoinMN]

No. that's creepy.


I'd also try a sock because it seems like a good fit but would take some skill

That would look like a very poorly made ice cream cone.

[RhinoinMN]

I'd shit in a corner where the linoleum is.

[hammersavage]

I'd shit in a corner where the linoleum is.

Why not shit on your wife's ass while she sleeps?

[RhinoinMN]

Why not shit on your wife's ass while she sleeps?

I'm writing that one down. I don't think we are in that stage of marriage yet.

[mikeyboy]

I would poop on the floor and then stick a pencil in it and use it as a weapon.

<embed style = "height:385px !important; width:480px !important;" src="http://xml.truveo.com/eb/i/3076182827/a/58ef677afb89fc040e3dec6de7dd6c26/p/1" flashvars="scanscoutcode=763&pageurl=http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/761807/&file=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/video/424366/761807.flv&mediaid=761807&title=poo on a stick&tags=upright,citizens,brigade&description=the latest in weapons technology.&displayheight= 325&backcolor=0x0d0d0d&lightoclor=0x336699&frontcolor=0xcccccc&image=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/video/424366/761807.jpg" wmode="transparent" loop="false" menu="false" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" width=" 425" height=" 325" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" /><H1 style="font:bold 0.8em arial;padding:0;margin:5px;">Watch more <a href="http://video.aol.com/channel/ebaums-world" target="_top" title="eBaum"s World videos">eBaum"s World videos</a> on <a href="http://video.aol.com/" target="_top" title="AOL Video">AOL Video</a></H1>

[epo]

On Lord Jezo's gun.

[ToiletCrusher]

That'll learn him.

goddamn right!

Or, I might try to pinch a loaf into the drawer of my dvd player.

[Chigworthy]

Have a bathroom built that is not sealed. You can't just keep shitting on the floor.

[SatCam]

shit wherever then eat it

[MC Pee Pants]

Where I always shit. Just keep adding to the pile.

[CHUCKWAGONCOOK]

Well.....to be like a dog. I guess I would just take a poop on the floor then eat it.

No mess-No fuss.

And a warm meal to boot.

[xekrubx]

Right in front of the door so when it swings open it gets smudged all over the floor.

Or in a shoe.

And you say no garbage cans but in my house i have quite a few short garbage cans that stand about a foot tall and a lab or retriever could easily squat over it.

[sr71blackbird]

Suspend an open garbage bag between two chairs and hold it by sitting on the flaps of plastic and shit right into the bag. Then, tie it up toss it out.

[biggirl]

My dog freaked out yesterday and crapped in our place so that got me thinking of what I would do in his situation.

Some rules:

1) You cannot use the bathroom, they are sealed shut.

2) You cannot go outside, the doors and windows are sealed shut.

3) You can't use the sink.

4) you can't use a garbage can.

5) No tupperware or other sealable things

6) Has to be like a dog, dogs cant manipulate many things. You can crap under the couch or hide it under a rug, but you can't make poop in something that you can lock up and never notice.

So where would you make doodies?

I think I'd crap in the back of the closet with my water heater. It's out of the way and it wont stink up my clothes or towels. Hopefully the stink wont seep out too much into the kitchen. Also has a linoleum floor so it will be easier to clean up when I am finally able to.

how long am I to be locked up for....i can hold my poop for quite some time if necessary

[jessicaduh]

how long am I to be locked up for....i can hold my poop for quite some time if necessary

so you'd go in your hand? ewwwww.

[PapaBear]

I'd shit on the guy who locked up everything in my house.

[biggirl]

so you'd go in your hand? ewwwww.

I wouldn't want to ruin my hard wood floors! Btw...you made me giggle like a little girl with that post!!