Is Anything "Off Limits" With Friends?

[Gvac]

When you're hanging out with your buddies is there any subject that is taboo when it comes to discussion or ball breaking?

I have a very close friend who has been married for 15 years, for example, yet he and his wife have never had children. Sometimes people will ask me why, but I wouldn't even think of asking such a personal question, as close as we are.

Another good friend walks with a bad limp from a car accident he had many years ago which shattered his knees. When we're all busting each other's chops, some of the guys will jokingly refer to that but I always feel that's a bit too hurtful, especially when it's something he can't change about himself.

Is everything fair game when you're really close to someone or do you draw a line?

[britneypablo]

When you're hanging out with your buddies is there any subject that is taboo when it comes to discussion or ball breaking?

I have a very close friend who has been married for 15 years, for example, yet he and his wife have never had children. Sometimes people will ask me why, but I wouldn't even think of asking such a personal question, as close as we are.

Another good friend walks with a bad limp from a car accident he had many years ago which shattered his knees. When we're all busting each other's chops, some of the guys will jokingly refer to that but I always feel that's a bit too hurtful, especially when it's something he can't change about himself.

Is everything fair game when you're really close to someone or do you draw a line?

<font color="deeppink">i am a habitual line drawer...

[JerseyRich]

I would never bring up the fact that you're 13 years older than me.

Too hurtful.

[sailor]

i agree with the kids thing. the limp, if he seems ok with it, i wouldn't draw the line there.

yeah, you definitely need limits. i have a recently married friend who mentioned they were trying like a year ago. i'd never think of bringing it up even though he was the one who initially brought it to my attention.

[denko]

for me nothing is over the line, and i know people that are the same way and some that are not. i guess its a matter of what may have happened to the person in question and how difficult it was for them.

example, my grandfatehr had just dies of cancer and my cousin and i were 2 of the paulbearers, along with my brother, another cousin and a family friend. my cousin turns to me and saus "well, at least he lost a lot of weight at the end, shouldn't be too heavy" and i immediately start laughing hysterically, the family friend, however, was not to keen on the joke.

so you, as the "joker" have to be aware of who can take a joke and who can not.

[edit] i tend to joke with people the same way they joke with me, if they play rough i play rough, if they just make bad hack jokes then i in return make worse hackier jokes.

[drjoek]

Who didnt grow up with a kid called Blinky?

[Ocho Cinco]

i bust on my best friend all the time, but recently he just found out his wife is pregnant. he's def rattled about it but when i was bombed i was making jokes about banging his wife while she's pregnant so i'd be banging her and his daughter at the same time and something about her being a whore before she was born...

let's just say he was not a fan, he emailed me the next day saying it was crossing the line and i def apologized. i still think it was funny but prob too soon i guess. he was truly rattled over being a dad so it was def poor timing. but yeah even w/ my best friend that was def off limits

[WampusCrandle]

I feel that nothing should be off limits. After being a friend with someone for a certain amount of time, you learn what the person does and doesn't like, and a mutual understanding of not entering each other's taboo subjects happens. One of the many things about being a friend is knowing your friends personal limits, though, if taboo subjects are brought up, they should be discussed. Or at least given an answer on why that friend wouldn't like to talk about it. I would still ask why a good friend of mine has not had a child with their wife of 15 years, or at least ask if he ever wanted to have children.

[epo]

Life is all about nuance and figuring out where that line is with the individual. Always err on the side of caution with a true friend.

[RhinoinMN]

Ass play. Definitely ass play.

[BlackSpider]

Ass play. Definitely ass play.

Too bad...

[Fatwreck86]

I have one Mexican friend and his buddies will constantly make racist jokes, and call him "wetback". Then he just laughs with them, I've i always thought, inside he was pissed.

[ToiletCrusher]

you should be able to be open with your friends but its all about how comfortable they are with reciprocating that "open" relationship.

[silks]

I never bring up ex-wives / girlfriends. I have a friend right now who is going through a particularly rough divorce, with a child involved, and I won't say a word unless he wants to talk about it. He and I have been best of friends for close to 30 years.

[Thebazile78]

My best friend and I have a no-holds-barred relationship.

We bust on each other, our families and our exes, among other things, because that's the way we've always been since we met ... 15 years ago.

Of course, hearing us talk to each other sounds like we're being completely insensitive sometimes but we've gotten to the point that the way we are together means we don't pull any punches.

In my opinion, it's good to have at least one friend with whom you can be completely, utterly and brutally honest ... it's too tense trying to tiptoe around a lot of feelings.

[sr71blackbird]

I have a best friend that I need to be sensitive about certain topics with and it causes me tension because I do not always know where that line is, as she seems receptive sometimes but not others (she is menopausal). I wish I had someone I could be completely open with.

[TripleSkeet]

I guess it depends on the friend. But for the most part me and my friends are ruthless. I think the only thing that would draw the line is the death or terminal illness of a loved one, and that would be it.

One of my best friends just split with his wife after 13 years. When he told me he had moved into an apartment my first question was "Did you get laid yet?" and when he said no I called him a pussy.

Also, a bunch of us were talking trash to each other on Facebook and I atom bombed him by putting a up a picture where I photoshopped his head onto a picture of Milhouses dad from the Simpsons pointing at his new race car bed. Brutal, but hilarious.

[Death Metal Moe]

I can't have friends that have boundaries, or at least close ones. It's not dark, black humor or shocking shit all the time but if the jokes and ball busting go in that zone, it's all game.

Deaths, personal flaws, awful jokes about life's injustices, whatever. It's all open in my mind. Its intellectually dishonest otherwise.

[beachbum]

Kid touching jokes can be funny.Touching your kid jokes cannot.

[Dell]

no limits have be explicitly given, but we don't talk about our own or the others spouses or exes (good or bad)...

[docjon]

i feel that if you have to draw a line, then you don't feel you can trust that it is just ball busting. not all friends you have in life can have that relationship, but i feel if you wanna be friends then you gotta be able to have your balls busted no matter the subject. the true measure of a friend is if they are there when they are needed most and that they are in your life.

[Death Metal Moe]

i feel that if you have to draw a line, then you don't feel you can trust that it is just ball busting. not all friends you have in life can have that relationship, but i feel if you wanna be friends then you gotta be able to have your balls busted no matter the subject. the true measure of a friend is if they are there when they are needed most and that they are in your life.

I agree. There's 3 people I can say I joke around with like that in my life, that's about it. People who I've been there for and have been there for me.

There's other friends who I draw lines with, and to be honest, they are either more like acquaintances or just aren't as close a friend.

[Gvac]

I know what a lot of you are saying, and believe me - my friends and I can be brutally honest with one another.

We also have a healthy respect for one another and wouldn't dream of bringing up a personal matter unless the one in question did first.

[MacVittie]

with my closest friends nothing is off limits. but that's probably only 2-3 people. with most of my friends we stay within social norms of conversation.

[biggirl]

My close friends and I hold nothing back from each other. If one of us thinks we are crossing the line we start by "this may be too personal to ask, but......" and then we say "you don't have to answer, no big deal". And we have no hurt feelings towards each other.

I don't like talking about people's salaries, politics, and religion....the norm.

As I have entered my mid to late twenties I am a lot more open about many things that I would have been too mortified to share in my teens.

[underdog]

You know, I was going to answer nothing was off limits (nothing is to me), but I thought of the last time I hung out with my best friend. We were out drinking because I found out he was getting a divorce. As much as I wanted to know what happened, it never came up. So I guess certain things are always "off limits", but it totally depends on who you're talking about. Before the divorce news, nothing would have been off limits with this friend. Life changes, I guess.

[Gvac]

Life changes, I guess.

It really does. When you get a few years of adulthood under your belt you start to realize that everyone undergoes their own personal struggles and just as you'd like to keep some of yours private, so would those close to you.

[underdog]

It really does. When you get a few years of adulthood under your belt you start to realize that everyone undergoes their own personal struggles and just as you'd like to keep some of yours private, so would those close to you.

It wasn't even that he told me it was off limits, it just was to me. Which is something amazing for me.

He was always my type of friend that we could hang out for hours and never really say anything of meaning. Friends like that are really, really important in life. Sometimes you just want company and you don't want to explain why.

[PapaBear]

If I've been friends with someone for a little while, then realize I've never heard them bring up anything about their parents, I make it a point to not ask them anything about them. If you've known someone for a decent amount of time, and they've never mentioned their parents, there is usually some back story that isn't good.

[A.J.]

Don't ask me about my business.

[boosterp]

My disabilities are ok to joke about, my buddy being hispanic no problem, but outside our circle and our family's circle it is a different ballgame.

[Marc with a c]

we like to consider that wide open gate there "off limits"

[Aggie]

Don't ask me about my business.

Or you might have to kill us.

[topless_mike]

<font color="deeppink">i am a habitual line drawer...

nice cleavage in your avi.

[Kris10]

I'm offensive to begin with but there are things that I just assume are off limits depending on the friend. As far as myself though, I'm an open book and anyone can say anything and I take it with a grain of salt.

[denko]

We also have a healthy respect for one another and wouldn't dream of bringing up a personal matter unless the one in question did first.

and thats the thing, i'm all for a good rape joke, or cancer, aids, whatever, but if my friend's sister had cancer and was raped and given aids, i might save that one for another friend.

[A.J.]

Or you might have to kill us.

I'll kill you softly with my song.

[WampusCrandle]

I'll kill you softly with my song.

Will you be telling her whole life?

[CountryBob]

Its all fun and games when you think that nothing is off limits to joke about until someone crosses that line with you. I write it off as bad timing but one of my good friends started busting my ass about not having any family to spend christmas with ( 1st one after my mom had died). I about killed that fucker. If not for a few buddies to pull me off him - I would have killed him. Later, I felt totally terrible about it and apologized alot - it took a few years for him to come back around.

[bigredd]

Isn't the point of breaking balls getting into your friends' kitchens a little? You should know where your real friends lines are drawn if there are any.

[Gvac]

The whole "Fez vs. ESD" argument reminded me of this thread.

[ToiletCrusher]

How's your ball bag itching?

Is that off limits?

[Enabler]

A friend is getting ready to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. Not a recent ex-girlfriend in any way. But Im still stunned that in all these years neither of us have ever busted balls over that fact. We both have a lot of ammo there. Its like we're doing each other a favor by never bringing it up. Very Cold War-esque. I guess thats my line. Because Ive said and heard some pretty horrendous shit between friends.

[keithy_19]

I have a friend who's sister has down syndrome. I sometimes would say that something is retarded and not even think about the fact her sister has a condition. She would always get kind of upset, so I don't use that phrase anymore.

[just-a-trucker]

I believe you have to pick your moments. No matter what the subject is. My dad dropped dead on his front porch at the age of 69. The next day at the funeral home the director asked when he had retired. I couldn't help myself of course and said, "yesterday". Even my mom laughed at that. It kind of helped to lighten the load if you know what I mean. Sometimes even the darkest humor is still funny no matter the situation.

[boosterp]

I believe you have to pick your moments. No matter what the subject is. My dad dropped dead on his front porch at the age of 69. The next day at the funeral home the director asked when he had retired. I couldn't help myself of course and said, "yesterday". Even my mom laughed at that. It kind of helped to lighten the load if you know what I mean. Sometimes even the darkest humor is still funny no matter the situation.

Most certainly, it helps alleviate discomfort.