Definition of a Liar

[sr71blackbird]

As far as I know, everyone has different circles of friends. Some of my friends are not the friends of some of my other friends. Some of my friends are not even aware of the existence of my other friends. I have one friend who I consider much closer to me than some of these other friends. Call her Friend 1. I revealed to Friend 1 that I have hung out with this other friend (Friend 2) on a few occasions. I speak to Friend 1 every day basically. When I told Friend 1 that I hung out a few times with Friend 2, she became furious with me and said that I can no longer be trusted and that I lied to her by not ever mentioning that I went out socially with Friend 2. Both Friend 1 and 2 are females.
Just to be clear, there is zero romance involved with any of these people or any of my "friends".
I was taken aback at being called untrustworthy and a liar in particular. By definition, and I am liar for not mentioning it? When I speak to Friend 1 daily, most of the time she asks me how I am doing and what I did this evening, or whatever.
But the few occasions that I did go out with Friend 2, either it was late when I came home and I did not speak to Friend 1 or she did not ask me what I did or whatever.

She is saying that by my not mentioning anything about it, that I am "lying" to her.
Is this a lie? Does it make me a liar? She thinks that because I did not mention it, that I am being untrustworthy. Is that true?

[drjoek]

To long to read

[Gvac]

And too confusing.

If you really want a definition of a liar I could do it with one picture.

[hammersavage]

And too confusing.

If you really want a definition of a liar I could do it with one picture.

Henry Rollins?

[SatCam]

As far as I know, everyone has different circles of friends. Some of my friends are not the friends of some of my other friends. Some of my friends are not even aware of the existence of my other friends. I have one friend who I consider much closer to me than some of these other friends. Call her Friend 1. I revealed to Friend 1 that I have hung out with this other friend (Friend 2) on a few occasions. I speak to Friend 1 every day basically. When I told Friend 1 that I hung out a few times with Friend 2, she became furious with me and said that I can no longer be trusted and that I lied to her by not ever mentioning that I went out socially with Friend 2. Both Friend 1 and 2 are females.
Just to be clear, there is zero romance involved with any of these people or any of my "friends".
I was taken aback at being called untrustworthy and a liar in particular. By definition, and I am liar for not mentioning it? When I speak to Friend 1 daily, most of the time she asks me how I am doing and what I did this evening, or whatever.
But the few occasions that I did go out with Friend 2, either it was late when I came home and I did not speak to Friend 1 or she did not ask me what I did or whatever.

She is saying that by my not mentioning anything about it, that I am "lying" to her.
Is this a lie? Does it make me a liar? She thinks that because I did not mention it, that I am being untrustworthy. Is that true?

ok bro I read the post I know what youre talking about


But seriously i couldve sworn you were married? what happened?


Also I do think you were dishonest to the first chick. There is obviously a romantic thing going on. She feels threatened by the other woman. Maybe that is over-reacting, but it sounds like you and woman #1 have two different views on what your relationship is all about

[sr71blackbird]

I am married. The friendship with Friend 1 has been going on for years, and there is no hankey pankey going on with anyone at all. I think friend 1 is just jealous for me being friends with anyone else. I am sorry the post was too confusing and I thought I did a good job of clarifying the situation, but I guess not.

[WampusCrandle]

I don't see how it is lying. Unless you purposefully held the information from her, you aren't a liar.

[A.J.]

If you really want a definition of a liar I could do it with one picture.

:laugh:

[sr71blackbird]

I think I need a female view on this. But I really need to understand this. To me, lying is saying you did nothing when you did something else. Or saying you were out with Bob when you were really out with Betty. You know? I can't see how not saying anything makes you a liar.

[boosterp]

If you did not intentionally withhold information from Friend 1 then it is not a lie.

[Friday]

the reaction of Friend 1 seems extreme.
does she not like Friend 2? is there bad blood there? is she in high school?

i don't see the problem with you spending time with different friends in different circles without disclosing information to all parties.
sounds like Friend 1 is a bit jealous and possessive ... which is always fun when you are just friends. :wacko:



If you really want a definition of a liar I could do it with one picture.

i say go for it.

[TjM]

It's not a lie...If you believe it

[sr71blackbird]

Friday, Friend1 is in her 50's and Friend 2 is 25. But neither of them is too aware of the other. When I went out with Friend2, she was with her BF, and I told Friend1 this when I had told her. She still freaked out on me. I have known Friend1 for years and just met Friend2 maybe 6 months ago.
There should be no reason for jealousy, unless Friend1 has stronger feelings than she let's on. But I never question where she goes or who with and I doubt she would tolerate it if I did. She would have no trouble saying "none of your business" if I did ask (which I don't).
So what do I do? Am I wrong? Did I lie by omission? Is she in a position to be able to get upset by a lie of omission even though she is just a friend and I am married?

[Thebazile78]

Friday, Friend1 is in her 50's and Friend 2 is 25. But neither of them is too aware of the other. When I went out with Friend2, she was with her BF, and I told Friend1 this when I had told her. She still freaked out on me. I have known Friend1 for years and just met Friend2 maybe 6 months ago.
There should be no reason for jealousy, unless Friend1 has stronger feelings than she let's on. But I never question where she goes or who with and I doubt she would tolerate it if I did. She would have no trouble saying "none of your business" if I did ask (which I don't).
So what do I do? Am I wrong? Did I lie by omission? Is she in a position to be able to get upset by a lie of omission even though she is just a friend and I am married?

I have one question:

Who died and made Friend 1 your parole officer?

[K.C.]

I have one question:

Who died and made Friend 1 your parole officer?

Yeah, Friend1 sounds like a huge bitch.

I wouldn't worry about it if I was this guy.

[nate1000]

Dude, WTF?
There is only one woman in your life from whom this kind of crap can be (marginally) tolerated (and that is a stretch, in my opinion.) Anyone else should get kicked to the curb until they figure out appropriate behavior.

[jessicaduh]

Dude, WTF?
There is only one woman in your life from whom this kind of crap can be (marginally) tolerated (and that is a stretch, in my opinion.) Anyone else should get kicked to the curb until they figure out appropriate behavior.

yep, completely unacceptable. even in a wife.

[CYYYFYYY]

Sounds a tad odd that friend number 2 was never mentioned to friend number 1. I can see Woman number 1 being a tad upset but that is it. It is nothing with nothing. You are married and nothing is going on with these women so I think Woman number 1 needs a shrink. If you wife has no issues with woman number 1 and 2, neither should they. Is your wife Woman number 3 or is she woman 0

[jessicaduh]

yep, completely unacceptable. even in a wife.

that is, unless you had intentionally kept the friendship secret from the wife.

[west milly Tom]

Just to be clear, there is zero romance involved with any of these people or any of my "friends".



Start hanging out with dudes and this will never happen again.

[sr71blackbird]

Its not a sceret friendship with any of the women in my life, I just make distictions with different people. Mostly women seem to like being with me and I get along very well (usually) with all of them.
Since I started this thread I have told Friend1 that she has no right to get upset with me for having other friends and social meetings with them. She was still steamed about it and I suspect she will hold it insider her as a mark against me as being "secretive" in not keeping her in the loop of my social circle. She probably also feelsthat there is a chance that she may "lose" my friendship to another person and since she's in her 50's and single, she's probably a bit lonely. But you are right that she has zero right to say what she said, and she stepped over the boundary, but I am very forgiving and will keep it in mind if it happens again.