I want a family member to go to jail.

[PapaBear]

My 24 year old Nephew has been a train wreck for years. He's been battling addiction to hard core drugs and stealing for years. When they put him on Methadone, he got addicted to that, too. For about two years, my family bent over backwards (and spent a lot of money) to keep him out of jail for various charges. Every time the courts gave him another chance, he'd blow it.

I spent a month in jail after my coke bust ten years ago, and it was enough to set me straight. I kept telling my family that that's exactly what he needed. He finally did end up spending about four months in jail. Though it was a constant struggle to stay away from his old "bad friends", he was doing much better for a while. Well, now he's back in the shit hole again. He's doing drugs again, lost his job, and we just found out that he stole $1500 from my mother with her credit card and some stolen checks.

His father has put a trespass order against him so he can't go to his house. He showed up at my mother's house today, and (as requested by my dad) she told him to get out. She wouldn't even let him get a shirt that he left there. No one knows where he is, now. I'm at the point where I believe the only way he is ever going to get clean is if he spends at least a year in jail (preferably not prison, because it's too easy to get drugs in prison).

My mother is a wonderful, caring person, and I'm furious that he stole from her again. Before the last jail stay, he stole several things from her and pawned them, so this isn't the first time.

Just needed to vent. That is all.

[Kris10]

Sorry your family is going through all of this with your nephew. I hope he gets the help he needs before its too late :down:

[AngelAmy]

sorry to hear your family is going through this

i know it sounds like spending that time in jail will do him some good but it may not be the case. he has to want to work at it and actually work at it.

my 23 year old brother has been arrested many times for several different things and every time we think that maybe this time will be the time he finally straightens out but it never seems to happen. he always goes back to the same old friends, same old behaviors, and the same old excuses.

maybe im just jaded from my own experiences, didnt mean to be such a downer

[~Katja~]

it was hard enough to walk away from my husband for similar shit.. I don't think I could ever walk away from my kid...

I understand why you think jail might be what straightens him out, but what worked for you may not work for him...
Does he realize he has major problems and needs help? Or does he still glorify it all?

[Hottub]

It worked for you, thank God, but not all people can take a hint. Given a chance to straighten up, think about your life, family and friends is the way the system is supposed to work. The problem is too many people's issues are too deeply rooted.
And from what I have read, the system is more incarceration than rehabilitation, anymore.
I guess it's up to the individual. Take this opportunity to get your shit together, or just count the days and wait for your next score.

Sorry you have to go through this, bro.

[PapaBear]

sorry to hear your family is going through this

i know it sounds like spending that time in jail will do him some good but it may not be the case. he has to want to work at it and actually work at it.

my 23 year old brother has been arrested many times for several different things and every time we think that maybe this time will be the time he finally straightens out but it never seems to happen. he always goes back to the same old friends, same old behaviors, and the same old excuses.

maybe im just jaded from my own experiences, didnt mean to be such a downer
You were actually the first person I thought about when I went to post this thread.

[AngelAmy]

You were actually the first person I thought about when I went to post this thread.

yeah, it's funny you even post it because my mom told me he just got picked up the other day for a warrant out for his arrest. he says he doesnt know anything about it but i dont believe anything he says anymore.

[~Katja~]

if he is still young and feels entitled (and stealing from family kind of mean just that) he most likely will just get bitter and feel lost and left behind in jail.

[PapaBear]

it was hard enough to walk away from my husband for similar shit.. I don't think I could ever walk away from my kid...

I understand why you think jail might be what straightens him out, but what worked for you may not work for him...
Does he realize he has major problems and needs help? Or does he still glorify it all?
He definitely knows. The reason he was staying with my mother was because none of his old friends knew where she lived. Unfortunately, I think his girlfriend is a bad influence on him. Also, though getting a job was an important part of his recovery, he chose a fast food restaurant for work (or, at least, that was what he was able to get). I'm sure he had plenty of access to people with drugs working there.

[AngelAmy]

while he was in jail my brother went from saying about how he'll change and never want to go back there to then starting to have feelings that he'll be all alone out in the world once he gets out...once he got out he tried to straighten up a tad by trying to pay his fines but i think he started to get discouraged by the fact that no one will hire him because of his record. since he got out he has gotten picked up a few different times for warrants out for his arrest...he's lucky he hasn't gone back.

i dunno what will happen after this time around but he doesnt seem to be changing his actions no matter what happens.......ok im done for reals this time

[Tallman388]

My family has a similar situation. My 27 year old cousin is a well seasoned junkie. He's been in and out of jail regularly for almost 10 years. He's got warrants in enough places that he basically can't leave the house. He got out of prison in PA about 2 months ago and my aunt has been covering for him with his parole officer the whole time. It's even to the point where she can't even bring him to family functions because of everything he's done. He embodies the idea that if you don't want help, you won't get clean. I hope for your nephew's sake he doesn't end up like my shitbag cousin.

[Stuft]

My family has a similar situation. My 27 year old cousin is a well seasoned junkie. He's been in and out of jail regularly for almost 10 years. He's got warrants in enough places that he basically can't leave the house. He got out of prison in PA about 2 months ago and my aunt has been covering for him with his parole officer the whole time. It's even to the point where she can't even bring him to family functions because of everything he's done. He embodies the idea that if you don't want help, you won't get clean. I hope for your nephew's sake he doesn't end up like my shitbag cousin.

Very similar situation in my family, as well. My 27 yr old cousin isn't into the hard stuff (he doesn't shoot up) but will huff, smoke, and/or ingest anything he can get his hands on. He has been diagnosed w/ several mental disorders and when he takes his mood stabilizers, he does fine. My aunt and uncle actually moved a state away to try to help keep him clean but he ended up getting locked up for a parole violation. The truth of the matter is that he doesn't care when he doesn't have a place to sleep or a shower to take or clean clothes to wear or even if he has food to put in his mouth. Facts are, if the kid doesn't WANT help, even being offered a clean and sober alternative, there is not a damn thing any outside person can do, family or not.

Thoughts and prayers, Papabear!

[britneypablo]

<font color="deeppink"> the hardest 2 years of my life (and my family's life) so far were the 2 years my little brother was in prison...it doesnt change the person who goes very much...it just gives them new habits that are not desirable either and makes it impossible for them to get a job...i hope he gets his stuff together before a little jail time ends up turning into some prison time.

[TripleSkeet]

Im in the same boat with my 26 year old brother. He's got this mindset of "I just want to quite crack and heroin, but keep smoking pot and drinking." and he just doesnt realize it doesnt work that way. He refuses to even take a hiatus from the other stuff for awhile.

Now jail doesnt work on everyone, but to be honest hes a pussy with a big mouth, so I think the first few beatings will probably knock some sense into him. Hes getting ready to go on probation with random drug tests, 3-1 odds say he will fail one eventually.

Your family is taking the right step though. If the kid has a problem and doesnt want to admit it, and hes not in jail, then the only way hes gonna hit rock bottom is dumping him on the street with no place to go. Let him sleep outside with no money for awhile. When hes begging for change and has to decide if it should go to food or drugs maybe that will give him a glimpse as to whats important in life. But if your family takes him back in without him willing to go live in a free rehab and legitimately trying to change his life all they are doing is enabling the kid and eventually they wont have to worry anymore because theyll be burying him.

[santino]

jail is never the answer. you need to find something outside of yourself to live for or you'll never change.

[TripleSkeet]

jail is never the answer. you need to find something outside of yourself to live for or you'll never change.

I love your wrestling promos but your advice stinks. ;)

[santino]

worked for me

[Gvac]

Wow. My heart goes out to you, PapaBear, and all the other posters dealing with family members in the throes of addiction.

There are no easy answers, obviously, and I suppose everyone either finds their way sooner or later or simply doesn't make it.

I wish the best for all of you and for those dealing with their demons.

[WampusCrandle]

All the best to you and your family, PapaBear! We can only hope he shapes up soon! Good luck!

[topless_mike]

papabear,
sux dood. sorry to hear you guys are going through this. it sounds like your family has done everything they can to help him, but he cant/wont "get it" until he wants help himself.

let him go. you guys have tried, and he's obviously made his choice. what happens to him, well, its his own destiny.

[Misteriosa]

substance abuse is something that runs deep in my family. ive struggled to help get my dad sober for years. he used to pawn our jewlery and valuables for money (its why im not big on wearing jewelry). he used to take me with him to the liquor store. we've put him in programs and rehab centers but he cant stay away from the booze (he likes that horrible cheap wino stuff too http://www.mazeguy.net/sad/no.gif). we've done so many interventions but nothings worked.

he didnt want it for his marriage. he didnt want it for his kids. he didnt want it for his brothers and sister.

ive finally come to the realization that he has to hit absoulute rock bottom before he can *want the change for himself*.

hopefully your nephew can see the light before its too late.

big :aaws: for you http://www.mazeguy.net/romantic/hug.gif

[angrymissy]

Does his mother (your sister?) coddle him and make excuses? Because I have an Uncle who is the same way... has never worked, steals from everyone in my family, has become violent, was "clean" but arrested for copping dope from an undercover twice in 1 yr, and my Grandmother constantly bails him out and makes excuses that he is "sick". And she is a fucking hard as nails, take no shit kind of lady with everyone else... He's now pushing 50 and still living with her, leeching off her, and getting into shit...

My cousins and I have desperately wanted to somehow set him up to go to jail for a long time, but I know she would deplete everything she had to once again lawyer up and bail him out.

Unfortunately, best thing you can do is cut ties. I refuse to acknowledge he fucking exists anymore after the shit he has pulled.

[CountryBob]

Tough stuff to deal with. I have a sister that married the worlds biggest loser and we just found out that for years they have been scamming my grandmother for all of her life savings and put her in 10's of thousands of $$ in debt at 85 years old. The problem is the husband has poisioned my sister and she turned on all of us when their plot was exposed. They live a life of drug use and lie about everything while feeling entiltled that all of the family should support them. I have completely shunned them and i dont have any contact with my nephews. This was a hard choice for me but it has worked out ok for 2 years now. When people dont want to help themselves it is impossible to provide help for them and being family, that makes it much harder to accept. I do think that who ever you nephew runs with (girlfriend, friends, etc) are a major reason of his not changing his ways. Until he elliminates his association with bad elements - i feel that he wont change. I wish your family good luck and hope he straightens himself up before it is too late.

[topless_mike]

Unfortunately, best thing you can do is cut ties. I refuse to acknowledge he fucking exists anymore after the shit he has pulled.

i share your thoughts on this.

[grlNIN]

My brother, who just turned 27 in January has been in deep strides of trouble since he was 15/16. He's a recovering(?) heroin addict (takes after pops) amongst prescription medication and alcohol. He has never really had a "job", has lived with family until he became such a burden he had to go and live with friends, there was a period of time where he was homeless, etc, etc, as you can imagine.

There is not 1 month that goes by where a new warrant doesn't surface or have to be paid (which my recovering father foots), he doesn't save money because he doesn't have money because he doesn't have a job because he is a total scumbag. My father made bad choices and by brother has taken it upon himself to use this as an excuse for the "problems" in his life (which my eldest brother and myself have successfully put behind us). He is the stereotypical middle child and the worst part is he has a 4yr. old son that he barely sees and very very rarely helps to financially support.

I can completely get behind your family cutting out your nephew out and your mindset of him needing jail. Although some people will just never change (like my brother), it's not a place you would ever wish upon anyone, let alone a family member and one so young at that. It's really heartbreaking to watch someone just drift around the edges of life.

[KingModem]

I was the same way for my grandfather. He eventually rolled his pickup in a ditch and died, and after autopsy, it was determined he had a BAC of .476 at the time of death.

I wish he would have went to jail, but dead is just as well.

[PapaBear]

Does his mother (your sister?) coddle him and make excuses?
Actually, his past family life wasn't that great, but that's not a total excuse to the way he turned out. He's my brother's son. They divorced when my nephew was a baby. His mother was a total psycho who fought tooth and nail for custody, and when she got it, dumped him off on my brother 24/7. She didn't want her son. She just wanted to spite my brother. She later remarried, got divorced again, and eventually died of cancer.

My brother did his best, but he worked 12 hour shifts all night. By the time my nephew got to the age where he could stay at home without a sitter, he took full advantage of having the house to himself every night. And of course, since bro worked all night, he slept during the day. A lot of mistakes were made with my nephew, but his problems now are totally his fault.

[sr71blackbird]

I hope he gets help too, and it seems like you say, that he will need to be isloated from the bad influences for a long enough time to get him off the drugs. The "friends" he has are where I am sure he gets the drugs from and the ideas to do the bad shit. He needs to get them out of his life too. Jail and prison are full of people who did bad shit, so I am not so sure that that's the safest place to be, but the only benefit would be if he cannot access drugs. I doubt I am saying anything you do not already know, but I hope he gets isolated from the bad influence and meets people who turn his life around.

[A.J.]

Does his mother (your sister?) coddle him and make excuses? Because I have an Uncle who is the same way... has never worked, steals from everyone in my family, has become violent, was "clean" but arrested for copping dope from an undercover twice in 1 yr, and my Grandmother constantly bails him out and makes excuses that he is "sick". And she is a fucking hard as nails, take no shit kind of lady with everyone else... He's now pushing 50 and still living with her, leeching off her, and getting into shit....

Sounds like MY uncle and grandmother.

[sr71blackbird]

If you could force him to watch THIS (http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1243648809/Drug_Reaction_Causes_Body_Parts_to_Rot_While_Addic ts_Are_Alive), which is the result of injecting antidepressants into the body, and it causes your skin to rot off your body. It is in Russian and it is disturbing, especially near the end and the girl you will see. Her bones have come through her skin and she sobs in agony as doctors attend to her wounds. It is very painful looking and disturbing. But if someone hooked on drugs saw it, it might spark in their mind to get away from drugs, lest this be their fate.


**GRAPHIC WARNING**

[Evolved]

I though this was going to be about your uncle, PedoBear.

[PapaBear]

If you could force him to watch THIS (http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1243648809/Drug_Reaction_Causes_Body_Parts_to_Rot_While_Addic ts_Are_Alive), which is the result of injecting antidepressants into the body, and it causes your skin to rot off your body. It is in Russian and it is disturbing, especially near the end and the girl you will see. Her bones have come through her skin and she sobs in agony as doctors attend to her wounds. It is very painful looking and disturbing. But if someone hooked on drugs saw it, it might spark in their mind to get away from drugs, lest this be their fate.


**GRAPHIC WARNING**
Funny you should mention this. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday. He has MRSA. I'm guessing he got it from a dirty needle.

[PapaBear]

I'm sick of this fucker!!! My father has been letting him stay nights at our house for over a week so he can go to rehab during the day. My daughter is afraid to come out of her room when he's here. I have to lock my bedroom door when I go to work, because he's a thief. And now...

I walk by the den and I smell beer. I see he has a 22 ounce can of something and there are three empties in the trash. I tell my dad and he says, "Oh, I thought it was beer too, but he said it's one of those energy drinks." So, I look in the trash, and this "energy drink" says "contains 12% alcohol". At 12%, four of those things are like 15 to 20 beers!

I'm so glad he has a place to stay at night so he can go to "rehab". I can't take this shit!!!

[Friday]

I'm sick of this fucker!!! My father has been letting him stay nights at our house for over a week so he can go to rehab during the day. My daughter is afraid to come out of her room when he's here. I have to lock my bedroom door when I go to work, because he's a thief. And now...

I walk by the den and I smell beer. I see he has a 22 ounce can of something and there are three empties in the trash. I tell my dad and he says, "Oh, I thought it was beer too, but he said it's one of those energy drinks." So, I look in the trash, and this "energy drink" says "contains 12% alcohol". At 12%, four of those things are like 15 to 20 beers!

I'm so glad he has a place to stay at night so he can go to "rehab". I can't take this shit!!!

15-20 beers? not so much...

to put it in perspective for you... a glass of Pinot Noir contains about 13.5% alcohol.

so... at best... he is drinking 4-5 glasses of wine. maybe a bottle... which isn't all that much.

if he has been a habitual or addictive drinker in the past, then he is drinking the minimum to keep him stable and get some sleep. not enough to make him really impaired or wasted at all.

[PapaBear]

15-20 beers? not so much...

to put it in perspective for you... a glass of Pinot Noir contains about 13.5% alcohol.

so... at best... he is drinking 4-5 glasses of wine. maybe a bottle... which isn't all that much.

if he has been a habitual or addictive drinker in the past, then he is drinking the minimum to keep him stable and get some sleep. not enough to make him really impaired or wasted at all.
It's 88 ounces of beer at 12%. That breaks down to over 7 cans of regular beer which is only about 4%.

[biggirl]

I'm sick of this fucker!!! My father has been letting him stay nights at our house for over a week so he can go to rehab during the day. My daughter is afraid to come out of her room when he's here. I have to lock my bedroom door when I go to work, because he's a thief. And now...

I walk by the den and I smell beer. I see he has a 22 ounce can of something and there are three empties in the trash. I tell my dad and he says, "Oh, I thought it was beer too, but he said it's one of those energy drinks." So, I look in the trash, and this "energy drink" says "contains 12% alcohol". At 12%, four of those things are like 15 to 20 beers!

I'm so glad he has a place to stay at night so he can go to "rehab". I can't take this shit!!!

That sucks...I feel bad for you and your daughter...I agree with you in your very first post that he is only going to learn the hard way...my family has gone through this with my younger step brother. He has finally shaped up after being kicked out of several homes (including mine) and spent a lot of time in jail. He has been clean for quite a few years now. I love him and am so happy that he is clean now. He is actually one of the nicest guys I know.

[hammersavage]

15-20 beers? not so much...

to put it in perspective for you... a glass of Pinot Noir contains about 13.5% alcohol.

so... at best... he is drinking 4-5 glasses of wine. maybe a bottle... which isn't all that much.

if he has been a habitual or addictive drinker in the past, then he is drinking the minimum to keep him stable and get some sleep. not enough to make him really impaired or wasted at all.

you don't think 15-20 beers is that much? that's crazy. and also missing the entire point of rehab.

[TooLowBrow]

you gotta lay down the law.
youll let him stay, but he cant drink
hes in fucking rehab!
does the rehab know hes relapsed?

[Friday]

you don't think 15-20 beers is that much? that's crazy. and also missing the entire point of rehab.

a 12% drink at 5 drinks does not equivocate 15 beers.
in order to calculate the BAL we would need to know the time frame.

I do think 15-20 beers is alot. but if they are ingested over 6 hours time... that is not the same as it would be in an hour.
Just as drinking 4 glasses of Pinot Noir over 3 hours would not be the same as chugging a bottle of wine in a half hour.

also, many people attend AA meetings because they are clean... but i know a couple of folks who go because they need motivation to just keep it at a minimum. they aren't ready for the real deal yet... but if they can keep regular, then they feel they will be eventually.
everyone works at their own pace in AA.

[PapaBear]

does the rehab know hes relapsed?
I don't know. His father's chick's daughter is in the same rehab right now. I'm thinking about telling her. I don't know if I should or not. BTW... He's the one that got the daughter into drugs.

[PapaBear]

a 12% drink at 5 drinks
Where are you getting the 5 drinks number? It's 7.3 drinks at 12%.

[TooLowBrow]

you don't think 15-20 beers is that much? that's crazy. and also missing the entire point of rehab.

thats true, if hes drinking a bottle of wines worth a night just to stay normal, its not a good thing


....unless hes jack kerouac



papabear, make him a loafs worth of baloney sandwiches and tell him to hitchhike to california

[hammersavage]

a 12% drink at 5 drinks does not equivocate 15 beers.
in order to calculate the BAL we would need to know the time frame.

I do think 15-20 beers is alot. but if they are ingested over 6 hours time... that is not the same as it would be in an hour.
Just as drinking 4 glasses of Pinot Noir over 3 hours would not be the same as chugging a bottle of wine in a half hour.

also, many people attend AA meetings because they are clean... but i know a couple of folks who go because they need motivation to just keep it at a minimum. they aren't ready for the real deal yet... but if they can keep regular, then they feel they will be eventually.
everyone works at their own pace in AA.

those 4 beers at 22 ounces at 12% alcohol is the equivalent of 19.46 standard beers. I don't give a fuck how long he drank them for. For someone in rehab, that is unacceptable. And he's not in AA meetings, he's in rehab

[hammersavage]

and who gives a shit about the math. he lied and was drinking while attending rehab.

[PapaBear]

those 4 beers at 22 ounces at 12% alcohol is the equivalent of 19.46 standard beers. I don't give a fuck how long he drank them for. For someone in rehab, that is unacceptable. And he's not in AA meetings, he's in rehab
Exactly. And for the record, he drank it all in about 2 hours. A junkie can't be drinking. PERIOD!

[TooLowBrow]

I don't know. His father's chick's daughter is in the same rehab right now. I'm thinking about telling her. I don't know if I should or not. BTW... He's the one that got the daughter into drugs.

id be afraid that he'll drag her back in.
theres nothing more attractive to a rehaber than a chance to relapse, and relapses try to drag everyone they know down with them

[biggirl]

a 12% drink at 5 drinks does not equivocate 15 beers.
in order to calculate the BAL we would need to know the time frame.

I do think 15-20 beers is alot. but if they are ingested over 6 hours time... that is not the same as it would be in an hour.
Just as drinking 4 glasses of Pinot Noir over 3 hours would not be the same as chugging a bottle of wine in a half hour.

also, many people attend AA meetings because they are clean... but i know a couple of folks who go because they need motivation to just keep it at a minimum. they aren't ready for the real deal yet... but if they can keep regular, then they feel they will be eventually.
everyone works at their own pace in AA.

It really doesn't matter, he is lying and drinking. He is taking advantage of the help being given to him.

As far as working at your own pace, who drinks 12% BEER..it doesn't seem like handling the problem at hand...

[Friday]

if he is in Rehab then he should be in Rehab... supervised 24/7.
this is the only way to do rehab if it is being done correctly.

if he is home, then he is not in rehab... he is an a voluntary AA control program.
and nothing can bind him to that commitment but his own free will.
and your family has every right to kick him out if he is not under lease or ownership contract.

so get rid of him.
is this your home? do you own it? if so, then kick him to the curb ... it's your right.
if not... then i guess you will have to suck it up and deal for the time being... or find a place of your own i guess.

sorry to offer a differing opinion in the interest of discussion!!

[TooLowBrow]

has this guy used 'i was walking the dog' as an excuse to stop at an across the street bar?

i wouldnt be surprised if he has 2 kids this time next year



:)

[PapaBear]

Though I take care of my dad, it's still his house. I've tried to convince him, but he believes every lie the fucker tells him. I'm not really convinced he really his going to the rehab facility anyway. It is a residential place, but they also accept day patients. I'm afraid the only way my father will be convinced is if he actually gets caught stealing something from the house. Maybe I'll leave my camera equipment out when I go to work tomorrow. My father is letting him stay, because everyone else has had too much stolen from them in the past.

[hammersavage]

sorry to offer a differing opinion in the interest of discussion!!

and then we answered back. then you answered. that's how discussions work, no need to be sorry

[KC2OSO]

::clenches fist::
The great thing about all this is that we have a justice system.

Our version of the pedophile uncle is now in not jail but is in prison. Sentenced.

I have wanted to cave his fucking face in on a few occasions but he'll now get what he deserves.

Fucking pervert.

Fucking disowned.

[TooLowBrow]

set up cameras

set up a trap!

trap him on camera!

this will so trump lleaders prank calls!

maybe youll get footage of him trying to fit through a doggie door
or maybe youll get shots of him peeing in your coffee pot

at least youll have proof to show your 125 year old dad(who still has you under his thumb, pussy)

[hammersavage]

well, ok

[PapaBear]

set up cameras

set up a trap!

trap him on camera!

this will so trump lleaders prank calls!

maybe youll get footage of him trying to fit through a doggie door
or maybe youll get shots of him peeing in your coffee pot

at least youll have proof to show your 125 year old dad(who still has you under his thumb, pussy)
By "leave the camera out" I don't mean to record him. I'm thinking about leaving it out so he will steal it.

[TooLowBrow]

By "leave the camera out" I don't mean to record him. I'm thinking about leaving it out so he will steal it.

good idea

then he can use it to buy drugs and youll be in the market for a newer camera!

[PapaBear]

good idea

then he can use it to buy drugs and youll be in the market for a newer camera!
He can use it to buy drugs, and I know where he pawns the shit he steals. It's win/win.

[TooLowBrow]

He can use it to buy drugs, and I know where he pawns the shit he steals. It's win/win.

so youll buy your stuff back, while secretly aiding his addictions.... sneaky:unsure:

[PapaBear]

so youll buy your stuff back, while secretly aiding his addictions.... sneaky:unsure:
No... Demand my stuff back from the pawn shop, and watch him fail his next drug test at his probation office. I'm joking, but I actually do think about it. I had a coke problem 10 years ago. The best thing that ever happened to me was, when I got busted, it took a month before I got a bail hearing. I haven't done coke since.

[hammersavage]

No... Demand my stuff back from the pawn shop, and watch him fail his next drug test at his probation office. I'm joking, but I actually do think about it. I had a coke problem 10 years ago. The best thing that ever happened to me was, when I got busted, it took a month before I got a bail hearing. I haven't done coke since.

that don't make you a bad person

[TripleSkeet]

You have a responsibility to one person in this story and one fucking person ONLY. Your daughter. If this jerkoff is drinking while going to rehab then hes NOT rehabbing. Hes placating your old man so he has a place to sleep. I should know, my brother is doing the same thing.

You need to have a sitdown with your dad, explain to him how you have a responsibility to take care of your daughter in a safe environment, and basically tell him that if this dicknose is going to keep drinking / using then either he or you will have to leave the house.

This is based on the assumption you have another place to go or the means to set yourself up somewhere and take care of your kid, if you dont, I feel for you and dont know what to do. But maybe the prospect of having to depend on an irresponsible junkie for his well being might bring your old man back to his senses. Its a hard decision for a parent, I know from what my dad puts up with, but the fact you have a kid involved means he has to start making some hard fucking decisions.

For the record, I rarely bring my kids to my parents now even though they are 2 minutes from me. And I have calmly explained that if they do bring my kids there and they somehow find a needle (like my parents and other brother have done) that I will rip through their fucking house like the incredible Hulk and give my brother an extended hospital stay while probably causing at least $40,000 worth of damage in my wake.

[KC2OSO]

step up and do something.

[boosterp]

If this is court ordered rehab then call his probation officer. All you have to do is wait for this fucker to drink again and place the call. Alcohol stays in your system for as little as 4 hours up to 16 hours depending on several factors. But 4 drinks containing a higher volume of alcohol within such a short time and this fucker will test positive the next morning.

As said, you have a responsibility to you and your daughter, to a lesser extent your dad. This junkie is putting all 3 of you at risk by creating the environment of a junkie in relapse. Junkies are known not to be the smartest of the bunch and do some very stupid and jeopardizing things.

Also, do not set him up, if your dad found out it could haunt you.

[Dude!]

You have a responsibility to one person in this story and one fucking person ONLY. Your daughter. If this jerkoff is drinking while going to rehab then hes NOT rehabbing. Hes placating your old man so he has a place to sleep. I should know, my brother is doing the same thing.

You need to have a sitdown with your dad, explain to him how you have a responsibility to take care of your daughter in a safe environment, and basically tell him that if this dicknose is going to keep drinking / using then either he or you will have to leave the house.

This is based on the assumption you have another place to go or the means to set yourself up somewhere and take care of your kid, if you dont, I feel for you and dont know what to do. But maybe the prospect of having to depend on an irresponsible junkie for his well being might bring your old man back to his senses. Its a hard decision for a parent, I know from what my dad puts up with, but the fact you have a kid involved means he has to start making some hard fucking decisions.

For the record, I rarely bring my kids to my parents now even though they are 2 minutes from me. And I have calmly explained that if they do bring my kids there and they somehow find a needle (like my parents and other brother have done) that I will rip through their fucking house like the incredible Hulk and give my brother an extended hospital stay while probably causing at least $40,000 worth of damage in my wake.

good for you

papabear, if you want to stay in the house fine
but get your daughter the hell out of there stat
have her stay at a friend's house
she should not be subjected to this
she is in danger

[PapaBear]

Ugh!!! Most of our problems are solved, but this punk is still a thorn in our sides somewhat. He finally got the boot a few weeks ago (my daughter is back with her mom for the school year). The last straw for my father was when we found out his "sponsor", the one that gave him "rehab pills" he claims left the powdery residue in the sandwich bag that had one corner ripped out of it (He must think I'm retarded), is actually a heroin dealer! Hmm... no wonder this mysterious "sponsor" was constantly buying my nephew very expensive clothes and shit, and giving him money (he was buying my nephew's silence because people have been getting busted in his circle). I could hardly contain my laughter when he said of the guy, "He's a good guy. He's been clean for six years. He just sells heroin to make money."

Everything was fine until tonight. I got home from work, and he was in my driveway, on his cell phone. My dad said someone was on the way to pick him up for the night. An SUV showed up a few minutes later and took him away. About a half hour later, he shows back up at the door claiming his buddy had dropped him off, and he was jumped by three black guys. Bullshit! The guys who picked him up beat the shit out of him. For now, he's locked in our garage trying to call people. We don't want him bleeding his Hepatitis infected blood in the house. My only concern now is, these "buddies" who beat him up, know where we live!

Why the fuck can't the cops lock this shit up? He's got warrant after warrant out on him. They picked him up a few weeks ago for an old warrant that stemmed from being picked up with needle with traces of heroin in it. Even though he's on probation, they still let him go on his own recognizance! Such a wonderful legal system we have.

[jauble]

Ugh!!! Most of our problems are solved, but this punk is still a thorn in our sides somewhat. He finally got the boot a few weeks ago (my daughter is back with her mom for the school year). The last straw for my father was when we found out his "sponsor", the one that gave him "rehab pills" he claims left the powdery residue in the sandwich bag that had one corner ripped out of it (He must think I'm retarded), is actually a heroin dealer! Hmm... no wonder this mysterious "sponsor" was constantly buying my nephew very expensive clothes and shit, and giving him money (he was buying my nephew's silence because people have been getting busted in his circle). I could hardly contain my laughter when he said of the guy, "He's a good guy. He's been clean for six years. He just sells heroin to make money."

Everything was fine until tonight. I got home from work, and he was in my driveway, on his cell phone. My dad said someone was on the way to pick him up for the night. An SUV showed up a few minutes later and took him away. About a half hour later, he shows back up at the door claiming his buddy had dropped him off, and he was jumped by three black guys. Bullshit! The guys who picked him up beat the shit out of him. For now, he's locked in our garage trying to call people. We don't want him bleeding his Hepatitis infected blood in the house. My only concern now is, these "buddies" who beat him up, know where we live!

Why the fuck can't the cops lock this shit up? He's got warrant after warrant out on him. They picked him up a few weeks ago for an old warrant that stemmed from being picked up with needle with traces of heroin in it. Even though he's on probation, they still let him go on his own recognizance! Such a wonderful legal system we have.

Did you report the "drop off" it might be at least to get a patrol to pay attention?

[PapaBear]

Did you report the "drop off" it might be at least to get a patrol to pay attention?
There's nothing to report. It didn't happen to me.

[jauble]

There's nothing to report. It didn't happen to me.

Yeah but its real easy to say you saw something especially if its your family.

[Dude!]

why do you let him back on your property?

[PapaBear]

why do you let him back on your property?
I didn't. My dad let him stand in the driveway when I was at work. I came home earlier than normal. He didn't think I'd know about it.

[Dude!]

are you letting him stay in the garage?
i don't understand why you don't
just tell him to get the fuck out
and stay out

[PapaBear]

We just did.

[KC2OSO]

order of protection is next...get the fella qualified as a threat.

[PapaBear]

The last thing we told him was, if he comes back, we're calling the cops. At this point, because of the last court date he missed, one more contact with the cops will probably mean he's locked up for at least 3 years.

You should have seen him when he left just now. He emptied his smokes out of the pack to look for something (drugs, of course). He fumbled around with it for several minutes. Then it took him at least 2 minutes to get the smokes back in the pack. His teeth are half knocked out. His arm may be broken. He has a deep gash on his shoulder. He's so fucked up, he can barely walk. In all likelihood, he will be picked up tonight, with the way he's walking. Problem solved.

Parents... Let your children read this thread.


BTW... He was offered rehab a few weeks ago. He declined.

[KC2OSO]

The last thing we told him was, if he comes back, we're calling the cops. At this point, because of the last court date he missed, one more contact with the cops will probably mean he's locked up for at least 3 years.

You should have seen him when he left just now. He emptied his smokes out of the pack to look for something (drugs, of course). He fumbled around with it for several minutes. Then it took him at least 2 minutes to get the smokes back in the pack. His teeth are half knocked out. His arm may be broken. He has a deep gash on his shoulder. He's so fucked up, he can barely walk. In all likelihood, he will be picked up tonight, with the way he's walking. Problem solved.

Parents... Let your children read this thread.


BTW... He was offered rehab a few weeks ago. He declined.
yep. well played/well done Papa. you have a good heart but I don't think there is a place for this type of person with your family. we had to basically disown the uncle here. i don't care that he is in prison/jail. he is a three time convicted kid-toucher (if you can believe that) trying to make his way back in to the family with letter writing, Jesus finding etc., etc.

not happening.

I will eventually forgive him in a spiritual sense.

After all, I can't carry this shit around forever! Good luck man.