Dumped again...

[Gmann]

I just got dumped today.
Was dating this chick I met at my bar. Was flirting with her for couple weeks...well, cause thats what guy bartenders do when hot chicks walk in. She's from Massachusets. Started dating like the last week of February. We immediately clicked. Same sense of humor, same outlook on things, friends ....etc etc etc. It was kind of a whirlwind thing where after a bout a month or so of dating ....boom, in a relationship. And it was great....like really great.
About lil under a month ago she calls me up from her job, says shes been thinking about things. We get into what it is. Turns out she said she wasnt ready to be in something serious, and was never really looking to be in a serious relationship. Blah blah blah, next day I have off, I go over and we discuss things in detail. She was in a few abusive relationships, guys always cheating on her, laying hands on her. Some real scumbag stuff. She wants to take things back a couple steps....not be so "relationshipy". Not call everyday....do our own thing during the week....stuff like that. I try and be understanding, and tell her Im willing to do what it takes....cause well...I like this chick alot. Things go back to being well between us...only we dont really see each other as much. We still sleep over each others places ...but not out and about like we used to.
Mon comes...and I text her how her day is going. She texts me back with "Ive been thinking about things" . Oh great here we go. So I call her up and we talk. She basically tells me she wants to just be friends. Goes back into the not ready to be into something speech again.....feels like we rushed into things, she has trust issues , moved to NY from Mass to find out more about herself and who she is, needs to work on her and her goals, I do stuff that reminds her of her ex.....etc.
Today we kind of talked cordial, hows your day, do you hate me...blah blah blah...and it got into a little more detail about the ex thing. Apparently when I was in the shower 3 weeks ago she took a look at my cell and saw a text from some chick at my bar who texted me for a booty call at 4:30am. I didnt go.....but the fact that I didn't tell her about it upset her and caused her to feel like she did with her ex's and she never thought she'd feel like that with me. So now she says she doesn't trust me and just wants to be friends. Doesn't want to date...nothing.
Im not even upset with the fact she snuck a look at my phone....cause I have nothing to hide. Ive always been nothing but 100% truthful with her...and she's been the same with me...no matter how embarising it is or revealing.

Part of this is looking for some advice...and part of this is venting. I don't know what to do. Been feeling like Ive been kicked in the stomach since Monday.
I really like this chick....and I know you can't make someone feel something they don't.
Any thoughts or advice guys ??

[dereckfishboy]

Soak up what you feel and take it for what it's worth.. The fact that
this chick made you feel so strongly means the experience was probably worth the feelings of loss. Some of the best relationships I was in lasted only a few months. Length of the trip doesn't matter as long as you enjoyed the ride. Loss is a great thing, it means you had something worth appreciating. Beats a few months of same old shit. My stupid outlook at least.

[joethebartender]

Gmann, I'm sorry to hear about this. It sounds like you were in a good place there for a while.

I've found that girls that have been in abusive relationships or that have a history of dating scumbags, tend to stick to scumbags. They can be the nicest most caring people, and they'll say they want to meet someone nice, but they'll still find another douche to go out with when it's all said and done.

Maybe take it as a compliment to yourself that she didn't want to stick around.

(I really tried to word this without offending you, or her... I swear it's not meant to be hurtful)

[silks]

Maybe take it as a compliment to yourself that she didn't want to stick around.

Joe is 100% right on. Sorry to hear about this, hang in there.

[britneypablo]

<font color="deeppink"> i know the feeling! and i think im going to have to agree with fishboy on this one


sorry to hear ur a sad one :(

[CountryBob]

sounds like this chick was looking for something to ruin the relationship - maybe due to her past experiences. I do not like snooping or getting into someone else's business like looking through their phone. That's being parynoid and it always set up for something negative. You might be better off with out this chick anyway because she is the one that has relationship issues. There are many chicks along the way before we end up with the final one.

[Furtherman]

....and I know you can't make someone feel something they don't.

Sometimes the best advice is your own advice.

[instrument]

Sounds like you had a good month together, consider yourself lucky and move on.

[nate1000]

Call this a near miss. Sounds like you were falling. But only a month in and she's sneaking looks at your cell? This would have gone to bad places- consider yourself lucky and keep this one at arms length.

don't get me wrong- pick up the booty call when it comes, cause we all know this ain't the last you've heard from this broad, just play it close to the chest when she slinks back around.

[tanless1]

ask my advice and then do the polar oppisite; you wont miss.

[IrishAlkey]

Silera said she's available.

[foodcourtdruide]

Sorry buddy, but maybe this was a good thing in the long run. She went through your phone and created her own version of events. That's got to be indicative of a bigger problem that would have hit you down the line.

[TripleSkeet]

Sounds like the best thing that couldve happened to you. No good can come from dating someone that checks your text messages. Next wouldve been your emails and voicemails. That whole "blaming the ex" excuse is usually bullshit. Sounds like shes the type of girl thats attracted to assholes. So the nicer, more normal you were, the less attracted to you she became.

Look at this as a blessing. There is no better time to be newly single then spring. That used to be my deadline for if I saw my relationship going anywhere. If by springtime I couldnt see myself marrying the girl, she was gone. Know what the best cure is for getting over a breakup? Fresh, Jersey shore pussy.

[Gvac]

Turns out she said she wasnt ready to be in something serious, and was never really looking to be in a serious relationship. Blah blah blah, next day I have off, I go over and we discuss things in detail. She was in a few abusive relationships, guys always cheating on her, laying hands on her. Some real scumbag stuff. She wants to take things back a couple steps....not be so "relationshipy". Not call everyday....do our own thing during the week....stuff like that. I try and be understanding, and tell her Im willing to do what it takes....cause well...I like this chick alot. Things go back to being well between us...only we dont really see each other as much. We still sleep over each others places ...but not out and about like we used to.
Mon comes...and I text her how her day is going. She texts me back with "Ive been thinking about things" . Oh great here we go. So I call her up and we talk. She basically tells me she wants to just be friends. Goes back into the not ready to be into something speech again.....feels like we rushed into things, she has trust issues , moved to NY from Mass to find out more about herself and who she is, needs to work on her and her goals, I do stuff that reminds her of her ex.....etc.
Today we kind of talked cordial, hows your day, do you hate me...blah blah blah...and it got into a little more detail about the ex thing. Apparently when I was in the shower 3 weeks ago she took a look at my cell and saw a text from some chick at my bar who texted me for a booty call at 4:30am. I didnt go.....but the fact that I didn't tell her about it upset her and caused her to feel like she did with her ex's and she never thought she'd feel like that with me. So now she says she doesn't trust me and just wants to be friends. Doesn't want to date...nothing.

I hate to say it brother, and I could be wrong, but I don't believe a word of what she said.

Sounds to me like she's already in another relationship (maybe even married) and was just looking for a little fun on the side.

Once things got too intense she made up a laundry list of excuses why it couldn't continue.

Again, I could be wrong and I hope I am, but I've been down this road before.

[NateCantDance]

She was looking for a way out.

[Jennitalia]

i have to agree with the fine two gentlemen above me. something's up. even if it really is her not being so trustworthy of you, just let her deal with whatever it is she's going through. as much as girls try to act and say how confused they are and whatnot, they pretty much know exactly what they're doing. we're evil bitches.

you're young, hot, sweet, hot, funny, hot.... :) the right one will definitely come along in due time

[zildjian361]

get off the couch, the summer is just starting, go down the shore or whever ya live, and get some NEW PUSSY.:clap:

[ToiletCrusher]

get off the couch, the summer is just starting, go down the shore or whever ya live, and get some NEW PUSSY.:clap:

most sound advice ever.

What if you live on a great lake?

[Contra]

The chick is off in some way, you are better off. Good luck!

[MC Pee Pants]

Fuck it. Search and destroy my friend, keep it moving. Just make sure no one sees you cry.

[Penelope]

If I saw on a text for a booty call on my guy's phone, I would think he was sleazy, and did something to encourage that. I wouldn't be looking through his texts though.
I could see how that could be a red flag for this girl though.

[Gmann]

If I saw on a text for a booty call on my guy's phone, I would think he was sleazy, and did something to encourage that. I wouldn't be looking through his texts though.
I could see how that could be a red flag for this girl though.


Im a bartender. She's a bartender. It kind of comes with the territory a little.

I think what it hurts most is the fact that she says she doesnt trust me. The one time I go into a relationship and not be a total douche.....this is what happens. But its like Fishboy said..... "Length of the trip doesn't matter as long as you enjoyed the ride".
My bday is next Friday and I know she's coming to the party. Despite what happened between us she's very adamant about getting me something and coming to celebrate with me. I dunno how I feel about it. Anyone who knows me here on this board knows me and booze.......
Could be interesting.

[yojimbo7248]

Im a bartender. She's a bartender. It kind of comes with the territory a little.

I think what it hurts most is the fact that she says she doesnt trust me. The one time I go into a relationship and not be a total douche.....this is what happens. But its like Fishboy said..... "Length of the trip doesn't matter as long as you enjoyed the ride".
My bday is next Friday and I know she's coming to the party. Despite what happened between us she's very adamant about getting me something and coming to celebrate with me. I dunno how I feel about it. Anyone who knows me here on this board knows me and booze.......
Could be interesting.

Best thing possible would be she shows up to the party, hands you the gift, you say 'thanks' very nicely but then barely pay attention her for the rest of the night. Not deliberately ignoring her but just not giving a shit about her. No asking her for an explanation for what she did, asking about the guy, or talking about your relationship. Just treat her like one of the many people that are at the party to celebrate your birthday.

I know this is extremely hard to pull off but I have been in many similar situations. Looking back on those times, I wish I had been strong enough to do that.

[nate1000]

Im a bartender. She's a bartender. It kind of comes with the territory a little.

I think what it hurts most is the fact that she says she doesnt trust me. The one time I go into a relationship and not be a total douche.....this is what happens. But its like Fishboy said..... "Length of the trip doesn't matter as long as you enjoyed the ride".
My bday is next Friday and I know she's coming to the party. Despite what happened between us she's very adamant about getting me something and coming to celebrate with me. I dunno how I feel about it. Anyone who knows me here on this board knows me and booze.......
Could be interesting.

You gotta ask yourself if you are capable of keeping this chick at arms length. If so, have fun. If not- nip this right now, cause she's gonna ruin your summer and maybe beyond. Under no circumstances let this chick be the only one you are seeing, just so you don't get too hung up.

[TripleSkeet]

Best thing possible would be she shows up to the party, hands you the gift, you say 'thanks' very nicely but then barely pay attention her for the rest of the night. Not deliberately ignoring her but just not giving a shit about her. No asking her for an explanation for what she did, asking about the guy, or talking about your relationship. Just treat her like one of the many people that are at the party to celebrate your birthday.

I know this is extremely hard to pull off but I have been in many similar situations. Looking back on those times, I wish I had been strong enough to do that.

In other words, man up. Show her that if shes gonna play games, theres plenty other pussy out there. But hes right, in doing this you have to also be very nice and respectful of her. It has to look like your not intentionally ignoring her, but that your not pining over her either.

Its basic human nature. Nobody wants what they know they can have anytime. They want something they may not be able to have.

[Freitag]

I hate to say it brother, and I could be wrong, but I don't believe a word of what she said.

Sounds to me like she's already in another relationship (maybe even married) and was just looking for a little fun on the side.

Once things got too intense she made up a laundry list of excuses why it couldn't continue.

Again, I could be wrong and I hope I am, but I've been down this road before.

Possibly another relationship, but definitely not married - he was over her place. Unless she was renting another place solely for her, it's kind of hard to hide a husband's stuff.

[FatassTitePants]

Know what the best cure is for getting over a breakup? Fresh, Jersey shore pussy.

Dude, you just blew my mind. You're gonna have to remove at least one of those words for that phrase to make any sense to me.

But seriously, Gmann, this probably was for the best. When she starts with the "I've been thinking about things" shit that early in the relationship, she was never going to go all in anyway. Which means that is wasn't about you, if that makes you feel any better. Just bad timing, that's all. When you find out after a few years that she has nothing but contempt for you as a person, that's when it deflates you. This is no reflection on you as a person.

[nate1000]

GMan- happy belated.
So, wat happened with the nutbar?

[TripleSkeet]

Dude, you just blew my mind. You're gonna have to remove at least one of those words for that phrase to make any sense to me.



You must be hanging at the "other" Jersey shore. Im not talking Belmar or the other guido beaches. Take a trip down to Sea Isle City or Avalon....youll see exactly what Im talking about.

[Gmann]

Todays been the 1st day where I feel ok.
Picking up and hitting on every hot chick that has walked into my bar for the past 6nights helped alot too.

[JerseyRich]

Todays been the 1st day where I feel ok.
Picking up and hitting on every hot chick that has walked into my bar for the past 6nights helped alot too.

There ya go buddy! Hop right back on the train!

A threesome might help as well. Just ask Doug.

[Gmann]

I stopped reading that thread when it was on pg 14. I wonder how that worked out for him.

[spoon]

I stopped reading that thread when it was on pg 14. I wonder how that worked out for him.

BAD, it's fucking Doug.

[spoon]

I hate to say it brother, and I could be wrong, but I don't believe a word of what she said.

Sounds to me like she's already in another relationship (maybe even married) and was just looking for a little fun on the side.

Once things got too intense she made up a laundry list of excuses why it couldn't continue.

Again, I could be wrong and I hope I am, but I've been down this road before.

Outside of the marriage thing (it was a fucking joke Frietag you dumb cunt), I got the same feeling here. It's that classic chick bullshit where they can't come clean and drag shit out bc of their own insecurities. This girl seemingly is a grass is greener chick and probably missed her freedom to play the field (and probably did it already and felt guilty, and blamed u) and or found another guy. Of course G and I could be wrong as we never met her, but I still don't buy her act and everything she's saying. How hard is it to say I'm not as into you as I thought on that level and we should break it off and be friends if possible. Instead she went the drag out emotional/dramatic bs route so many chicks take to validate their own actions you will never find out about. To me, her stories on other guys are suspect as well and an excuse to allow her own jealousy to rage on. In fact, she's probably not able to trust you and others based on her own actions, not yours or the past. I'm a see ya type guy, and I would have tapped out as soon as she started this bs. If she wants back in, she'd have to fucking earn it (the whole what u can and can't have tactic someone else spoke of).

You'll find someone better for you in the end, and the trip was a good one so take it for what it's worth (as Derek stated). Good luck G (the other G).

[Penelope]

Oh no. The 15th is the first day where he felt ok? I got dumped from my 3 year relationship on the 7th of this month, so I guess I've got a few weeks of feeling really bad ahead of me. It's so disruptive, all this anger and sadness. I'm doing everything I can. No contact with the liar at all. I've cried and dealt with the emotions, tried to distract myself, kept busy. No matter what I feel like crap.
One problem I have is that I check his twitter from time to time. He's such an ego case that twitters about whatever he does non stop. So, I've been reading the details about how he and his ex wife are back together and sooooo happy. I've got to stop checking that stupid twitter.
Oh god, I hate him, yet miss him so much.

[Dougie Brootal]

Oh no. The 15th is the first day where he felt ok? I got dumped from my 3 year relationship on the 7th of this month, so I guess I've got a few weeks of feeling really bad ahead of me. It's so disruptive, all this anger and sadness. I'm doing everything I can. No contact with the liar at all. I've cried and dealt with the emotions, tried to distract myself, kept busy. No matter what I feel like crap.
One problem I have is that I check his twitter from time to time. He's such an ego case that twitters about whatever he does non stop. So, I've been reading the details about how he and his ex wife are back together and sooooo happy. I've got to stop checking that stupid twitter.
Oh god, I hate him, yet miss him so much.

i dumped my chick of 4 years in november, and i am still fucked up over it. and i broke up with her, so.... good luck!

[Dougie Brootal]

There ya go buddy! Hop right back on the train!

A threesome might help as well. Just ask Doug.

I stopped reading that thread when it was on pg 14. I wonder how that worked out for him.

BAD, it's fucking Doug.

the truth hurts...

[JerseyRich]

Oh no. The 15th is the first day where he felt ok? I got dumped from my 3 year relationship on the 7th of this month, so I guess I've got a few weeks of feeling really bad ahead of me. It's so disruptive, all this anger and sadness. I'm doing everything I can. No contact with the liar at all. I've cried and dealt with the emotions, tried to distract myself, kept busy. No matter what I feel like crap.
One problem I have is that I check his twitter from time to time. He's such an ego case that twitters about whatever he does non stop. So, I've been reading the details about how he and his ex wife are back together and sooooo happy. I've got to stop checking that stupid twitter.
Oh god, I hate him, yet miss him so much.


The worst thing you can do right now is keep checking up on him. It will just continue to break your heart each time you check on him.

I know it's difficult, but rid your life of things that remind you of him and avoid all contact. You will be better off and you will forget him when you move on to the next fella. Trust me.

[TripleSkeet]

Oh no. The 15th is the first day where he felt ok? I got dumped from my 3 year relationship on the 7th of this month, so I guess I've got a few weeks of feeling really bad ahead of me. It's so disruptive, all this anger and sadness. I'm doing everything I can. No contact with the liar at all. I've cried and dealt with the emotions, tried to distract myself, kept busy. No matter what I feel like crap.
One problem I have is that I check his twitter from time to time. He's such an ego case that twitters about whatever he does non stop. So, I've been reading the details about how he and his ex wife are back together and sooooo happy. I've got to stop checking that stupid twitter.
Oh god, I hate him, yet miss him so much.

Go out and get yourself some strange cock. Itll cure what ails ya.

[Penelope]

Thank you so much for all of your replies. I appreciate the help. I like you people here on ronfez.net.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Outside of the marriage thing (it was a fucking joke Frietag you dumb cunt), I got the same feeling here. It's that classic chick bullshit where they can't come clean and drag shit out bc of their own insecurities. This girl seemingly is a grass is greener chick and probably missed her freedom to play the field (and probably did it already and felt guilty, and blamed u) and or found another guy. Of course G and I could be wrong as we never met her, but I still don't buy her act and everything she's saying. How hard is it to say I'm not as into you as I thought on that level and we should break it off and be friends if possible. Instead she went the drag out emotional/dramatic bs route so many chicks take to validate their own actions you will never find out about. To me, her stories on other guys are suspect as well and an excuse to allow her own jealousy to rage on. In fact, she's probably not able to trust you and others based on her own actions, not yours or the past. I'm a see ya type guy, and I would have tapped out as soon as she started this bs. If she wants back in, she'd have to fucking earn it (the whole what u can and can't have tactic someone else spoke of).

You'll find someone better for you in the end, and the trip was a good one so take it for what it's worth (as Derek stated). Good luck G (the other G).

Spoon is a fucking genius.

All I have to add is an unhelpful: so you're just another person who's broken up with someone else? Whoop to the Big power. :dry:

[Doctor Z]

I just got dumped today.
Was dating this chick I met at my bar. Was flirting with her for couple weeks...well, cause thats what guy bartenders do when hot chicks walk in. She's from Massachusets.
That was your first mistake.

[boosterp]

Penelope, I want to echo the sentiments around here and wish you the best.

I offer this though; a one nighter or something similar will only make the hurt come back once you have time to reflect. Take some time and reflect internally, when you are with someone that amount of time your identities become shared. You need to refind your's and then you will be ready. Ignore your past dude, quit trying to get the twitter updates, and just enjoy being you for a while. You will then know when you are ready.

After my divorce I took a year off from dating. Other than friends I did not try to date. Now 2 years later I have been trying to find the right one for me, using my past as a lesson, and not jumping in bed with every chick I meet. I know true love will happen and may just be staring at me in the face.

[Justice4all]

sounds like this chick was looking for something to ruin the relationship - maybe due to her past experiences. I do not like snooping or getting into someone else's business like looking through their phone. That's being parynoid and it always set up for something negative. You might be better off with out this chick anyway because she is the one that has relationship issues. There are many chicks along the way before we end up with the final one.

QFT. I think CB is right on with this. I don't like people who snoop like that. I think she is pulling your leg. One thing I have learned is that when a girl tries to pull that routine on you (Oh I don't know if I am ready blah blah blah) they are usually hiding something big or being only half-truthful. It happens all too often.
I think this girl was playing you to try to ease the breakup a bit.
You didn't see it coming, but she was emotionally broken off from you for a while. Although they say they want honesty...some of them are never fully honest with anyone, especially themselves.

Sorry man, but the proof is in the fact that she checked your phone while you weren't looking. That soon into the relationship it is a serious warning sign.

Her name wasn't Amber perchance was it?

If I saw on a text for a booty call on my guy's phone, I would think he was sleazy, and did something to encourage that.

GETTING the text and actually answering and going to the booty call are two different things. He would be sleazy if he went on the booty call. I get them still from someone I haven't talked to in a long while. After I let them know 'no thanks I have a GF and even if I didn't...it still would be no', they usually don't bother me anymore. (Shut up spoon ::tongue::

[Justice4all]

Go out and get yourself some strange cock. Itll cure what ails ya.

And there is none stranger then many of the men here. (myself included)

[Gmann]

I ran into my ex the other day walking home from my bar at like 5am...she was just getting home from her bar too. It was such a shot to the gut right then and there. Typical "hi hello how are ya how did your night go" conversation.....but maybe it was cause I had a few to drink at work, and I know she did too.....there was a look.

Like I said....such a shot to the gut. :wallbash:

[Justice4all]

G I know how you feel but you gotta move on man. Really.
I know it sucks...I DO. But the best thing you can do for yourself and to prove to her that SHE made a mistake in doing what she did was to go out there and just have a great summer and date anyone you want.

Again, she is into sabotahging(sp?) her own relationships because it showed in what she did with your phone. It was a weak excuse to say she didn't 'trust you' because you got a booty call text message. What...she thought SHE was the only woman to enter your life before that night?
And again. I would take alot of her 'explainations' with a massive grain of salt. It's rarely exactly as they explain it to be.

Just go out...put her out of your mind and if you run into her make he a "oh we had this quick thing but it wasn't anything really" when people ask about her.

[TripleSkeet]

I ran into my ex the other day walking home from my bar at like 5am...she was just getting home from her bar too with some guy she met there. It was such a shot to the gut right then and there. Typical "hi hello how are ya how did your night go" conversation.....but maybe it was cause I had a few to drink at work, and I know she did too.....there was a look.

Like I said....such a shot to the gut. :wallbash:

It couldve been worse. See above.

[MattyIceVA]

craigslist.com

[Penelope]

G I know how you feel but you gotta move on man. Really.
I know it sucks...I DO. But the best thing you can do for yourself and to prove to her that SHE made a mistake in doing what she did was to go out there and just have a great summer and date anyone you want.

Again, she is into sabotahging(sp?) her own relationships because it showed in what she did with your phone. It was a weak excuse to say she didn't 'trust you' because you got a booty call text message. What...she thought SHE was the only woman to enter your life before that night?
And again. I would take alot of her 'explainations' with a massive grain of salt. It's rarely exactly as they explain it to be.

Just go out...put her out of your mind and if you run into her make he a "oh we had this quick thing but it wasn't anything really" when people ask about her.


But, that's the thing. He really has been trying to put her out of his mind, and then she shows up, which sucks.
Anyway, It isn't smart for Gmann to totally ignore and stuff down his feelings. He needs to feel what he feels, and be able to vent here when he feels bad, that way he will be completely free to really move on to whatever great relationship. or adventure in life is next. This lying woman will be his past, and never hurt him again, even if he runs into her.
Plus, it's not that simple to tell him to just feel better because she was a liar, etc. I know my ex was a lying piece of garbage, yet I still know it will be a little while before I stop mourning the loss. Focusing on the bad qualties of the person is healthy though.
She went through his text messages? What kind of crap is that? Mourn this sneaky lying woman when you need to.

He's gonna feel bad sometimes, and that's ok, in fact, it's normal. Hopefully really soon he won't feel bad anymore though. He just needs a little more time,. I think he's doing pretty well.

This is gonna make us stronger and smarter people Gmann.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I'm gonna input some Gerald Generia here, and say that different people go through different ways of dealing with breakups. No one formula works the same for everyone. So whatever worked for you, good chances are it won't work for the other person. They just gotta figure it out on their own. I know I never listened to anybody's advice whenever I've been in the hole.

[douchebagsean]

Sounds like the best thing that couldve happened to you. No good can come from dating someone that checks your text messages. Next wouldve been your emails and voicemails. That whole "blaming the ex" excuse is usually bullshit. Sounds like shes the type of girl thats attracted to assholes. So the nicer, more normal you were, the less attracted to you she became.

Look at this as a blessing. There is no better time to be newly single then spring. That used to be my deadline for if I saw my relationship going anywhere. If by springtime I couldnt see myself marrying the girl, she was gone. Know what the best cure is for getting over a breakup? Fresh, Jersey shore pussy.

i concur

[Justice4all]

But, that's the thing. He really has been trying to put her out of his mind, and then she shows up, which sucks.
Anyway, It isn't smart for Gmann to totally ignore and stuff down his feelings. He needs to feel what he feels, and be able to vent here when he feels bad, that way he will be completely free to really move on to whatever great relationship. or adventure in life is next. This lying woman will be his past, and never hurt him again, even if he runs into her.
Plus, it's not that simple to tell him to just feel better because she was a liar, etc. I know my ex was a lying piece of garbage, yet I still know it will be a little while before I stop mourning the loss. Focusing on the bad qualties of the person is healthy though.
She went through his text messages? What kind of crap is that? Mourn this sneaky lying woman when you need to.

He's gonna feel bad sometimes, and that's ok, in fact, it's normal. Hopefully really soon he won't feel bad anymore though. He just needs a little more time,. I think he's doing pretty well.

This is gonna make us stronger and smarter people Gmann.


#1. How so?
#2. You were in your relationship for over 3 years. His was for 3 months. I don't think it should take that long to get back on the horse (so to speak) for G.

[Gmann]

I agree with ya dude.
I sit here analyzing myself sometimes and think "really....it was only 3 months". Just that when you click with someone...you click. Aaaaaaaaaaand I thought we clicked.
Im trying to focus on the bad parts of her....but I just cant think of any. Im fine when Im at work...or occupied. Its just that times like this when Im home from work, alone, quiet with my thoughts....thats when it hits me most.
I really appreciate all the thoughts and advice guys. Thanks for giving me this outlet to vent.

[Gmann]

ok....WHAT THE FUCK??
I was putting up some pics on my Facebook from my Vegas vacation when I noticed alot of stuff from the "Photos of You" section missing...so I checked it out. She deleted all the pics of me and her...even deleted whole albums of us hanging out together (St. Pattys, other miscellaneous things), like I never existed to her, she kept all the ones of my friends.....and for some motherfucking reason I had a full blown panic attack. My chest got extremely tight and I couldn't get a full breath for a good 10 mins.
WTF is wrong with me ?? :glurps:

I havent had a panic attack since last year when I was unemployed, looking for a job for 4 months and almost through my savings....

[Sinestro]

ok....WHAT THE FUCK??
I was putting up some pics on my Facebook from my Vegas vacation when I noticed alot of stuff from the "Photos of You" section missing...so I checked it out. She deleted all the pics of me and her...even deleted whole albums of us hanging out together (St. Pattys, other miscellaneous things), like I never existed to her, she kept all the ones of my friends.....and for some motherfucking reason I had a full blown panic attack. My chest got extremely tight and I couldn't get a full breath for a good 10 mins.
WTF is wrong with me ?? :glurps:

.

I think she followed JerseyRich's advice.



I know it's difficult, but rid your life of things that remind you of him and avoid all contact. You will be better off and you will forget him when you move on to the next fella. Trust me.

[Penelope]

ok....WHAT THE FUCK??
I was putting up some pics on my Facebook from my Vegas vacation when I noticed alot of stuff from the "Photos of You" section missing...so I checked it out. She deleted all the pics of me and her...even deleted whole albums of us hanging out together (St. Pattys, other miscellaneous things), like I never existed to her, she kept all the ones of my friends.....and for some motherfucking reason I had a full blown panic attack. My chest got extremely tight and I couldn't get a full breath for a good 10 mins.
WTF is wrong with me ?? :glurps:

I havent had a panic attack since last year when I was unemployed, looking for a job for 4 months and almost through my savings....

I had to learn the hard way to stay away from the ex's twitter and facebook. I even deleted both of mine, which may have been extreme. I just wanted no more pain, and quick.
Life is easier when I pretend he never existed. You need to make the decision to move on. No contact or checking up on her on internet, for at least 60 days. (The break up book I'm reading says 60 days, cause by that point you will have different feelings, and maybe not even want to check up on or contact them by that time). Kind of a detox thing.
Getting rid of everything that reminds you of the person . . . personal effects is good too.
It's not easy. I am now on day 4 with no contact whatsoever, and I got dumped on 7th of June.
Here's hoping I make it to day 5. I have not made it 5 days yet so far.
This heartbreak stuff is a real bummer.

You have just set your recovery back by checking up on her. Tomorrow is day 1 for you.

[TripleSkeet]

ok....WHAT THE FUCK??
I was putting up some pics on my Facebook from my Vegas vacation when I noticed alot of stuff from the "Photos of You" section missing...so I checked it out. She deleted all the pics of me and her...even deleted whole albums of us hanging out together (St. Pattys, other miscellaneous things), like I never existed to her, she kept all the ones of my friends.....and for some motherfucking reason I had a full blown panic attack. My chest got extremely tight and I couldn't get a full breath for a good 10 mins.
WTF is wrong with me ?? :glurps:

I havent had a panic attack since last year when I was unemployed, looking for a job for 4 months and almost through my savings....

Is this the first time youve broken up with a girlfriend? Why does that surprise you? If she had any pictures of you guys framed in her house, I hate to break it to you, but they arent up anymore either.

Single girls dont keep pictures of their exes around. It scares away away new cock.

[Penelope]

I had to learn the hard way to stay away from the ex's twitter and facebook. I even deleted both of mine, which may have been extreme. I just wanted no more pain, and quick.
Life is easier when I pretend he never existed. You need to make the decision to move on. No contact or checking up on her on internet, for at least 60 days. (The break up book I'm reading says 60 days, cause by that point you will have different feelings, and maybe not even want to check up on or contact them by that time). Kind of a detox thing.
Getting rid of everything that reminds you of the person . . . personal effects is good too.
It's not easy. I am now on day 4 with no contact whatsoever, and I got dumped on 7th of June.
Here's hoping I make it to day 5. I have not made it 5 days yet so far.
This heartbreak stuff is a real bummer.

You have just set your recovery back by checking up on her. Tomorrow is day 1 for you.

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent him an e mail today. I wish I could unsend it.
I can not make it past 4 days?
I got stressed, having a family emergency, and used that as an excuse to e-mail him, just saying that I'm stressed and I missed him.
I may need a therapist or something.
I haven't been taking this well. In the past few weeks all I've eaten are little bits of crackers. I cry almost every day. Trying to sleep as much as I can. I'm barely functioning here.
He's moving on. Why can't I just let him do that if I love him? I want him to be happy.
So many new things to deal with . . . living in a new place, sleeping alone every night, the realization that the person I loved so much had been lying to me . . .
I've got to get it together though.

[boosterp]

ok....WHAT THE FUCK??
I was putting up some pics on my Facebook from my Vegas vacation when I noticed alot of stuff from the "Photos of You" section missing...so I checked it out. She deleted all the pics of me and her...even deleted whole albums of us hanging out together (St. Pattys, other miscellaneous things), like I never existed to her, she kept all the ones of my friends.....and for some motherfucking reason I had a full blown panic attack. My chest got extremely tight and I couldn't get a full breath for a good 10 mins.
WTF is wrong with me ?? :glurps:

I havent had a panic attack since last year when I was unemployed, looking for a job for 4 months and almost through my savings....

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent him an e mail today. I wish I could unsend it.
I can not make it past 4 days?
I got stressed, having a family emergency, and used that as an excuse to e-mail him, just saying that I'm stressed and I missed him.
I may need a therapist or something.
I haven't been taking this well. In the past few weeks all I've eaten are little bits of crackers. I cry almost every day. Trying to sleep as much as I can. I'm barely functioning here.
He's moving on. Why can't I just let him do that if I love him? I want him to be happy.
So many new things to deal with . . . living in a new place, sleeping alone every night, the realization that the person I loved so much had been lying to me . . .
I've got to get it together though.

I truly feel for the two of you and wish the best for each. I will try to keep sending positive thoughts y'all's ways.

[Gmann]

I have found that new vagina has been helping me feel better.....

But I need it on a constant basis. :tongue:

[TripleSkeet]

I have found that new vagina has been helping me feel better.....

But I need it on a constant basis. :tongue:

Told ya.

[BinaryTaoist]

ok....WHAT THE FUCK??
I was putting up some pics on my Facebook from my Vegas vacation when I noticed alot of stuff from the "Photos of You" section missing...so I checked it out. She deleted all the pics of me and her...even deleted whole albums of us hanging out together (St. Pattys, other miscellaneous things), like I never existed to her, she kept all the ones of my friends.....and for some motherfucking reason I had a full blown panic attack. My chest got extremely tight and I couldn't get a full breath for a good 10 mins.
WTF is wrong with me ?? :glurps:

I havent had a panic attack since last year when I was unemployed, looking for a job for 4 months and almost through my savings....


After reading through this thread it seems to me that you've crossed paths with a bonafide 'energy vampire'.

Right from the start she assumed not to trust you (which for me would already be a dealbreaker), and then flipped the script to make you look like the untrusting one when it was HER who dissolved any sense of trust.

Then she wants to end her romantic relationship with you, but remain friends, including being at your birthday party? What kind of shit is that? If she really cared about you would she hang around, knowing that you didn't want things to end? Thats incredibly selfish on her part, and maybe she is doing it to keep you around as a safety net. To be at your birthday celebration is the ultimate cockblock...

So now she has removed your pics from facebook... Obviously she still has feelings for you, positive or negative; and needed to do something. I think if that she was indifferent then she wouldn't have really done such a thing. More importantly, given past behavior, she is probably doing it to evoke an emotional response out of you (which is seems she did), in order to know that she still can depend on you as a safety net.

I would consider yourself lucky where you have a job to interact with fine looking women who are there to enjoy themselves... THROW YOURSELF INTO THAT!

[Gmann]

Well I was chatting with her just a bit ago about work and stuff. She got a new gig in Huntington.....and well....

"and the guy ive been seeing lives out there too"
"i don t want things to be weird but i do have a boyfriend now and i just dont think he would be that comfortable with me still talking to someone i used to see
that make sense?"
"i would probly be uncomfortable in the opposite situation"
"i do like him a lot, and thats why i want to respect how he would feel
im just being completely honest with you"


:down:

[boosterp]

Well I was chatting with her just a bit ago about work and stuff. She got a new gig in Huntington.....and well....

"and the guy ive been seeing lives out there too"
"i don t want things to be weird but i do have a boyfriend now and i just dont think he would be that comfortable with me still talking to someone i used to see
that make sense?"
"i would probly be uncomfortable in the opposite situation"
"i do like him a lot, and thats why i want to respect how he would feel
im just being completely honest with you"


:down:

And the scar deepens from the picking at it.

[BinaryTaoist]

Well I was chatting with her just a bit ago about work and stuff. She got a new gig in Huntington.....and well....

"and the guy ive been seeing lives out there too"
"i don t want things to be weird but i do have a boyfriend now and i just dont think he would be that comfortable with me still talking to someone i used to seethat make sense?"
"i would probly be uncomfortable in the opposite situation"
"i do like him a lot, and thats why i want to respect how he would feel
im just being completely honest with you"


:down:

DId she call you? If so she is playing mind games with you... she may not want to have anything to do with you romantically, but still needs something else from you, either emotionally, intellectually, or whatever... If you are o.k. with that fine; if you feel like she is taking advantage of you and the fact that you are not over her then you should treat her like cancer...

[strawberrypop]

She is not being completely honest with you.

This is her fake nice way of saying that she doesn't want to/can't communicate with you anymore. She's using the new boyfriend as an excuse.

I'd assume she's trying to spare your feelings.

You seriously need to just cut.it.off. NOW. No more communication. It will do zero good to continue speaking with her.

[TripleSkeet]

Well I was chatting with her just a bit ago about work and stuff. She got a new gig in Huntington.....and well....

"and the guy ive been seeing lives out there too"
"i don t want things to be weird but i do have a boyfriend now and i just dont think he would be that comfortable with me still talking to someone i used to see
that make sense?"
"i would probly be uncomfortable in the opposite situation"
"i do like him a lot, and thats why i want to respect how he would feel
im just being completely honest with you"


:down:

Heres how this reads to me...and in all honesty, Im believing you made this call...

"Hey I really just wanted to break up with you either because I was already seeing this other guy or I wanted to see other people. But I thought I would come across bad by just being honest so I turned it around and made you feel like you did something fucked up that caused me to leave. But now that I cut the strings and am banging the guy I wanted to bang, Im gonna sever contact with you to make sure it doesnt do anything to fuck up this relationship Ive got now.

The truth was I just wasnt into you anymore and wanted to move on."

[Gmann]

Yeah...that right about sums up what I have goin on in my head right now.
Thanks for putting it into words.

[strawberrypop]

Sorry, fella.

[Dougie Brootal]

Heres how this reads to me...and in all honesty, Im believing you made this call...

"Hey I really just wanted to break up with you either because I was already seeing this other guy or I wanted to see other people. But I thought I would come across bad by just being honest so I turned it around and made you feel like you did something fucked up that caused me to leave. But now that I cut the strings and am banging the guy I wanted to bang, Im gonna sever contact with you to make sure it doesnt do anything to fuck up this relationship Ive got now.

The truth was I just wasnt into you anymore and wanted to move on."

despite your board name, you are a brilliant man.

[TripleSkeet]

despite your board name, you are a brilliant man.

Ive been told my handle is one of the best ever.

[Dougie Brootal]

Ive been told my handle is one of the best ever.

haha i like it too, just bustin balls!

[TripleSkeet]

haha i like it too, just bustin balls!

Yea but you were talking about my name, I was talking about my HANDLE!

HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Gmann]

So I worked the day shift today....got off at 9pm...decided to stick around and have a few before I leave....

AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP IN MY BAR WITH HER NEW BF ??

[boosterp]

So I worked the day shift today....got off at 9pm...decided to stick around and have a few before I leave....

AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP IN MY BAR WITH HER NEW BF ??

You just can't catch a break man. :sad:

[Gmann]

I hardly ever work tuesdays....or the day shift. Worked till 9pm. Got some food, hung out. Sittin there...having a heineken. Notice couple of her pals hanging out, think nothing of it...they all live within couple blocks...theyre regulars.They come over say hi, theyre cool. Bar has a nice crowd....theres couple seats to my right....door opens...and she walks in hand in hand with the new guy. Her bday is today....and they plop right down on the 2 seats next to me. Coridally we both catch each others eye and say hi....and a handshake...and I wish her a happy bday. Go outside...bum a cigg...and just get the knot back in my stomach. Finished my beer, walked around the bar saying my goodbyes, said my goodbye to her pals and then handshake and said goodbye to her....and here I am.

I was fine. Talk to me fucking 4 days ago I was fine. The knot in my stomach was gone!! IT WAS FUCKING GONE!!! I was moving the fuck on!!!
And then I see that shit.....WHAT THE FUCK!!!! :glurps:

[Furtherman]

For her to bring the new guy into your place is just a mean, spiteful movie. F her. Don't waste your time being broken up over someone who clearly has no regard for your feelings whatsoever. Are there no other bars she could go to?

[~Katja~]

I hardly ever work tuesdays....or the day shift. Worked till 9pm. Got some food, hung out. Sittin there...having a heineken. Notice couple of her pals hanging out, think nothing of it...they all live within couple blocks...theyre regulars.They come over say hi, theyre cool. Bar has a nice crowd....theres couple seats to my right....door opens...and she walks in hand in hand with the new guy. Her bday is today....and they plop right down on the 2 seats next to me. Coridally we both catch each others eye and say hi....and a handshake...and I wish her a happy bday. Go outside...bum a cigg...and just get the knot back in my stomach. Finished my beer, walked around the bar saying my goodbyes, said my goodbye to her pals and then handshake and said goodbye to her....and here I am.

I was fine. Talk to me fucking 4 days ago I was fine. The knot in my stomach was gone!! IT WAS FUCKING GONE!!! I was moving the fuck on!!!
And then I see that shit.....WHAT THE FUCK!!!! :glurps:

go get laid! And then again... next time you see her pals just get the hell out of there cause she will be near.

(or get laid by one of her pals)

[Aggie]

^^
this

You're a hot guy, you can find another girl in no time. I know it's easier to say than do, but get busy doing!

She's such a bitch for doing that.

[ralphbxny]

Holy S dude. F her. I agree with the Two ladies.

People are Spiteful. I just had an ex who broke up with me friend me on Facebook to tell me she got married. People just want to prove they can move on faster I guess.

[walking joint]

nevermind

[BinaryTaoist]

She is an energy vampire, and you are; I mean... You were her victim...

To tell you to get over her would be like pointing a finger to show you the way to the moon.

[TripleSkeet]

So I worked the day shift today....got off at 9pm...decided to stick around and have a few before I leave....

AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP IN MY BAR WITH HER NEW BF ??

Now shes just being a twat.


Your response shouldve been to buy them birthday shots, and as they are doing them whisper to the guy "Heres a birthday tip, 2 fingers in her ass during doggy....its her favorite." and walked out.

[Penelope]

So I worked the day shift today....got off at 9pm...decided to stick around and have a few before I leave....

AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP IN MY BAR WITH HER NEW BF ??

What a bitch. I don't like her at all now. You are so much better off without her. She sounds immature and stupid. You are lucky to be rid of her.

I am on day 5 of my no contact rule, again. Really going to make the 60 days this time. Must heal . . .

[Gmann]

Now shes just being a twat.


Your response shouldve been to buy them birthday shots, and as they are doing them whisper to the guy "Heres a birthday tip, 2 fingers in her ass during doggy....its her favorite." and walked out.

I kind of did that. I finished my drink, walked around the bar to get my stuff, and told the guy who I work with to buy them a round on me, make sure they know it was from me, and I left.

So at 4:47am I get a text .... "2night was just as awkward for me. Its all (her friends name) fault, he wanted to come there. Just saying sorry"

[Misteriosa]

Fuck. That.

that bitch knew what she was doing, and shes being a bigger cunt (yes, this warrants the c-bomb) by trying to blame it on her friend.

she knew the history. she coulda suggested somewhere else if he really did bring it up first.

Cuuuuuuuuuuuunt!

[~Katja~]

What a bitch. I don't like her at all now. You are so much better off without her. She sounds immature and stupid. You are lucky to be rid of her.

I am on day 5 of my no contact rule, again. Really going to make the 60 days this time. Must heal . . .

good luck! When you feel the urge to e-mail or text just hit delete instead of send... that way it's gone and you would have to write it all over, usually you don't feel the same way about what you just wrote the second time around and then you won't bother... your urges will become less and less!

[Aggie]

Fuck. That.

that bitch knew what she was doing, and shes being a bigger cunt (yes, this warrants the c-bomb) by trying to blame it on her friend.

she knew the history. she coulda suggested somewhere else if he really did bring it up first.

Cuuuuuuuuuuuunt!

Ditto. That text is BULLSHIT. She needs to stop contacting you in anyway. Grrrrrr

Let's kick her ass Misti.

[~Katja~]

Ditto. That text is BULLSHIT. She needs to stop contacting you in anyway. Grrrrrr

Let's kick her ass Misti.

you can block numbers on your cell so she won't be able to text you anymore at all.

[hammersavage]

You guys can save my number under their name. Text me and I'll just send you a pic of my middle finger. That outta heal you queens.

[TripleSkeet]

So at 4:47am I get a text .... "2night was just as awkward for me. Its all (her friends name) fault, he wanted to come there. Just saying sorry"

I really hope you dont buy into that bullshit.

[Sinestro]

I kind of did that. I finished my drink, walked around the bar to get my stuff, and told the guy who I work with to buy them a round on me, make sure they know it was from me, and I left.

So at 4:47am I get a text .... "2night was just as awkward for me. Its all (her friends name) fault, he wanted to come there. Just saying sorry"


There's hope! She cares enough to text you and still has your number. Fuck her!

Why did you even bother to buy them and that bitch a round? To show her you're the better person? Fuck her!


Did the people she was hanging with know about the relationship between you two? If they did and didn't tell you jack about that bitch showing up with her BF, fuck them too!



Do you think she was already cheating on you with the new BF when you guys were going out? And if her friends knew about it, fuck each and everyone of them.:furious:

[Gvac]

After all this, if you still think there's even ONE redeeming quality about this chick I don't feel sorry for you G.

Just being honest.

She's a vindictive fraud.

Whatever you THOUGHT she was isn't real. She's showing her true colors. She's a heartless, soulless twat.

Swallow your pride, admit you made a HUUUUUGE mistake by ever getting involved with her, and lose her number. Tell her to do the same.

[Justice4all]

I kind of did that. I finished my drink, walked around the bar to get my stuff, and told the guy who I work with to buy them a round on me, make sure they know it was from me, and I left.

So at 4:47am I get a text .... "2night was just as awkward for me. Its all (her friends name) fault, he wanted to come there. Just saying sorry"

I would have texted back "wow..didn't know it was so easy to manipulate you. Lose my number, and don't come back. ty" I agree with everyone else, she is conniving and manipulative. she pretty much played you and threw it back in your face time and time again, seeing how far she can push you.

Just put a stop to it.

and what Katja said
(or get laid by one of her pals)

Brilliant! And that ought to do it.

[BinaryTaoist]

As good as screwing one of her friends seems... I wouldn't do it... all it will do is maintain something that connects you two.

The only way to survive an assault from an energy vampire, is to cut yourself off from them, including acts of revenge, perspective, and/or redemption.

[RoseBlood]

If you have verizon, call 611 and give them her number. It will block all calls/texts from her for 3 months.

[Gmann]

Ok so yesterday I woke up sorta early....1pm for me. Checked my cell and saw she called me at like 11am. So curiousity got the better of me and I texted her " you rang? " and she texted me back "just wanted to say sorry about everything. didn't know how to handle an uncomfortable situation." I really am 100% over everything...and am a bygones be bygones type of person. I texted her back "forget it. lets just forget all the bullshit and move forward amicably like adults and be friends" ....her response" ok sounds good".

In the meantime Im chatting with a hot 26yr old spanish PARALEGAL!!! Hello $$$ :devil2:

[Sinestro]

Ok so yesterday I woke up sorta early....1pm for me. Checked my cell and saw she called me at like 11am. So curiousity got the better of me and I texted her " you rang? " and she texted me back "just wanted to say sorry about everything. didn't know how to handle an uncomfortable situation." I really am 100% over everything...and am a bygones be bygones type of person. I texted her back "forget it. lets just forget all the bullshit and move forward amicably like adults and be friends" ....her response" ok sounds good".



Why? WHY? Did you even respond to her at all? All she wanted to do was make herself feel better.

But if your okay with that. That's you. And how can you have her as friend that kinda messed with what you went through. Unless you want her back in some way...... cut the cord and be done with her.

[BinaryTaoist]

Ok so yesterday I woke up sorta early....1pm for me. Checked my cell and saw she called me at like 11am. So curiousity got the better of me and I texted her " you rang? " and she texted me back "just wanted to say sorry about everything. didn't know how to handle an uncomfortable situation." I really am 100% over everything...and am a bygones be bygones type of person. I texted her back "forget it. lets just forget all the bullshit and move forward amicably like adults and be friends" ....her response" ok sounds good".

In the meantime Im chatting with a hot 26yr old spanish PARALEGAL!!! Hello $$$ :devil2:



Fookin energy vampire, you're askin for it... good luck with the spanish chick...

[Gmann]

Why? WHY? Did you even respond to her at all? All she wanted to do was make herself feel better.

But if your okay with that. That's you. And how can you have her as friend that kinda messed with what you went through. Unless you want her back in some way...... cut the cord and be done with her.

Yeah...sometimes Im too nice of a guy for my own frackin good.

[Penelope]

Yeah...sometimes Im too nice of a guy for my own frackin good.

Yes you are. Your ex and and mine are both narcissists. They want the attention we used to give them, and do not care about or feelings or respect us. They would leave us alone for a few months if they did. I've gotten texts about how he loves and misses me. He broke up with me though and has never mentioned getting back together. So the only reason for texts like that is to try to mess with me.
We misjudged our exes. They were not as great as we thought they were.

[BinaryTaoist]

They want the attention we used to give them, and do not care about or feelings or respect us.

Classic energy vampire

[Gmann]

Ok just cause Im lazy and dont feel like starting a new thread....

So Im still seeing the ParaLegal chick. Only thing is she was in an abusive relationship with her last bf. Readers Digest version : they were friends for years, they hooked up, were together for yr and half, she moved to Jersey and moved in with him. He's a cop. He started beating on her. She left him 3 months ago, moved back to Queens. He's been calling her pretty much everyday, leaving abusive messages on her voice mail. Only reason she still answers or even responds is cause all her stuff is still in Jersey. And I mean all of it......clothes, furniture, tv's ...the whole shebang. She's scared to go get her stuff by herself....and to tell you the truth...I don't really wanna volunteer to go with her either. Picture it...me, handsome hispanic boy from Queens, NY....going to Bumblefuck NJ, to go to an abusive cops ex gf's house to get her stuff. YEAH RIGHT!
So last night she went, and I didnt know about it....and her bff just called me up about a half hour ago telling me about it. She went byherself...and now none of us can get a hold of her. Her friend is hysterical crying on the phone....and Im sitting here all worried and shit.
Dunno what to do guys.

[Furtherman]

It's a little after 10am. It's still early. Give it time.



Then find an unattached girl.

[JerseyRich]

Ugh.

I'm sure she'll turn up ok. Don't stress too much bro.

But when she does return, give her support and be there for her.

[Dougie Brootal]

whoops. sorry, didnt notice the forum.

[JerseyRich]

stop cock blocking her.

FORUM!

[Dougie Brootal]

FORUM!

sorry.

[MetalAcorna]

Hopefully everything is ok with your paralegal. You seem like a really nice guy, and deserve something GOOD to happen to you for a change. :smile:

[strawberrypop]

Have you heard anything yet?

[TripleSkeet]

She definitely was banging that dude last night. Sorry bro.

[Gmann]

Just got off the phone with her. Told me about how she got to his place, they argued for hours, he started crying, blah blah blah. Talked about what went wrong with their shit.....all that stuff. She crashed there because she was too tired to drive, Ive been kind of keeping her out till all hours of the night....you know, my bartender schedule. She assures me she slept on the couch. He left for work in the morning, and shes been stuffing her car with her stuff since.

And Skeet...maybe youre right, maybe youre not, but I cant say anything really. We've only been talking and hanging out for about 3+ weeks now. Sure she's slept over for the past 2 weeks....but I still kind of don't have a right to inquire or say anything. I was more concerned about a chick and an abusive ex bf most of all. I cannot stand hearing about guys who smack their women around. Nothing sets me off quicker and gets me more heated than hearing about that sort of shit. I just wanted to make sure she was ok and nothing happened to her.

[Aggie]

Just got off the phone with her. Told me about how she got to his place, they argued for hours, he started crying, blah blah blah. Talked about what went wrong with their shit.....all that stuff. She crashed there because she was too tired to drive, Ive been kind of keeping her out till all hours of the night....you know, my bartender schedule. She assures me she slept on the couch. He left for work in the morning, and shes been stuffing her car with her stuff since.

And Skeet...maybe youre right, maybe youre not, but I cant say anything really. We've only been talking and hanging out for about 3+ weeks now. Sure she's slept over for the past 2 weeks....but I still kind of don't have a right to inquire or say anything. I was more concerned about a chick and an abusive ex bf most of all. I cannot stand hearing about guys who smack their women around. Nothing sets me off quicker and gets me more heated than hearing about that sort of shit. I just wanted to make sure she was ok and nothing happened to her.


I'm so glad she's OK. That must have been scary.

Now you need to learn how to pick chicks with less baggage.

[Gmann]

My roomate says Im a magnet for the mental.

[MetalAcorna]

I'm so glad she's OK. That must have been scary.

Now you need to learn how to pick chicks with less baggage.

Okay, wow. I agree with Aggie. Seriously, you need to find someone to just relax and have fun with. I can't believe the crazy shit you're going through with these women. I've had my fair share of weirdo/crazy guys, but realized who they were and that was the end of it. Hold out out for someone great who deserves you, as lonely as it can be without someone. Believe me, I know; I've been there. But look where I am now because I held out for someone amazing? Crazy happy with Rich. You deserve to be happy too. :happy:

[~Katja~]

Ok just cause Im lazy and dont feel like starting a new thread....

So Im still seeing the ParaLegal chick. Only thing is she was in an abusive relationship with her last bf. Readers Digest version : they were friends for years, they hooked up, were together for yr and half, she moved to Jersey and moved in with him. He's a cop. He started beating on her. She left him 3 months ago, moved back to Queens. He's been calling her pretty much everyday, leaving abusive messages on her voice mail. Only reason she still answers or even responds is cause all her stuff is still in Jersey. And I mean all of it......clothes, furniture, tv's ...the whole shebang. She's scared to go get her stuff by herself....and to tell you the truth...I don't really wanna volunteer to go with her either. Picture it...me, handsome hispanic boy from Queens, NY....going to Bumblefuck NJ, to go to an abusive cops ex gf's house to get her stuff. YEAH RIGHT!
So last night she went, and I didnt know about it....and her bff just called me up about a half hour ago telling me about it. She went byherself...and now none of us can get a hold of her. Her friend is hysterical crying on the phone....and Im sitting here all worried and shit.
Dunno what to do guys.
Let her get a restraining order and then another cop will go with her when she is picking up her stuff. That alone should be embarrassing enough for the ex to go through. The restraining order will also help keeping her away from her.
She should also block his numbers after she gets all her stuff.

[Gmann]

Okay, wow. I agree with Aggie. Seriously, you need to find someone to just relax and have fun with. I can't believe the crazy shit you're going through with these women. I've had my fair share of weirdo/crazy guys, but realized who they were and that was the end of it. Hold out out for someone great who deserves you, as lonely as it can be without someone. Believe me, I know; I've been there. But look where I am now because I held out for someone amazing? Crazy happy with Rich. You deserve to be happy too. :happy:

Oh I agree. Right now all we're doing IS relaxing and having fun and enjoying each others company. Been going out during the day...having lunch....going to the park...went to Coney Island...stuff like that. I like her cause she's trying to help me stay away from the bar scene. Im kind of getting past the being drunk every night thing and wanna do more than that. Know what Im saying ?? Oh believe me....I have my issues and mental retarded moments too. Right now Im enjoying whats going on with me and her.
And like I said...the only real reason I was so concerned was cause of the abusive ex. Not to mention the fact he's a cop and has cop buddies and how they all look out for each other and can get around the law, blah blah blah. Id be just as concerned if it was any other female friend of mine or you guys. Can't stand to hear that shit about a guy hitting a woman.

[TripleSkeet]

But look where I am now because I held out for someone amazing?

I thought we were trying to help.


By the way G, be prepared, because any argument the 2 of you have in the foreseeable future where she is completely in the wrong, the whole "I dont know how to be with a nice guy" excuse is going to come out.

[MetalAcorna]

I thought we were trying to help.

I was being helpful. Just showing him an example of what waiting for a great person to be with can be like. Not saying that she's not, but he has been going through alot of crap lately and deserves to be happy. :)

[MetalAcorna]

Oh I agree. Right now all we're doing IS relaxing and having fun and enjoying each others company. Been going out during the day...having lunch....going to the park...went to Coney Island...stuff like that. I like her cause she's trying to help me stay away from the bar scene. Im kind of getting past the being drunk every night thing and wanna do more than that. Know what Im saying ?? Oh believe me....I have my issues and mental retarded moments too. Right now Im enjoying whats going on with me and her.
And like I said...the only real reason I was so concerned was cause of the abusive ex. Not to mention the fact he's a cop and has cop buddies and how they all look out for each other and can get around the law, blah blah blah. Id be just as concerned if it was any other female friend of mine or you guys. Can't stand to hear that shit about a guy hitting a woman.

^^this is one of the things that makes you a great person. I hope she realizes what she has with you and appreciates it in the long run.

If you're having a good time with her, then all the more power to you guys. Glad you're having some fun. :happy:

[Furtherman]

I like her cause she's trying to help me stay away from the bar scene. Im kind of getting past the being drunk every night thing and wanna do more than that. Know what Im saying ??

Don't you work in a bar?

That's something you have to do yourself. You'll be stronger that way, whether she's with you or not.

[Kublakhan61]

She definitely was banging that dude last night. Sorry bro.

I thought we were trying to help.


By the way G, be prepared, because any argument the 2 of you have in the foreseeable future where she is completely in the wrong, the whole "I dont know how to be with a nice guy" excuse is going to come out.

Not helpful on either count.

Gmann, this will work itself out or it won't. Just be present and, like others have said, have fun.

[Caseyelan]

My roomate says Im a magnet for the mental.

jmb0=wise.

[Farmer Dave]

At least she's safe. With luck she will never have to she the prick again. If she finds reasons to see him again, that would seem like the time to worry or cut the ties and move on. Good luck.

[drusilla]

My roomate says Im a magnet for the mental.

& jimbo wins the understatement of the year contest

mental is too nice

[razorboy]

mental is too nice

What would you have said?

[Gmann]

jmb0=wise.

He's my Obi Wan.

[drusilla]

What would you have said?

i prefer to think of them as psycho hose beasts

[The Jays]

That would explain why his apartment is full of gun racks.

[TripleSkeet]

Not helpful on either count.

Gmann, this will work itself out or it won't. Just be present and, like others have said, have fun.

I actually am being helpful because I dont sugarcoat what I think and Im not going to tell someone what they want to hear. Ive seen these situations a thousand times. Look how many people were telling him what they really thought of this girl when they thought she had broken up with him. Im not going to change my tune because hes with her again.

Im not telling him to break up with her, because honestly nobody ever listens anyway. Im just trying to give him a little heads up because hes in for a future of bullshit and drama and "ive dated bad guys" is gonna be the excuse every time.

Quick hint, nobody stays at their ex's apartment because they are tired. When you cant stand a person or better yet are afraid of them you do what you have to do and get the fuck out. So from my point of view, shes lying already.

Im not trying to be an asshole, I just dont have any sensitivity when it comes to this kind of thing. I just call it like I see it. Its not a big deal.

I was being helpful. Just showing him an example of what waiting for a great person to be with can be like. Not saying that she's not, but he has been going through alot of crap lately and deserves to be happy. :)

You sooooooo missed that joke!

[Dougie Brootal]

I actually am being helpful because I dont sugarcoat what I think and Im not going to tell someone what they want to hear. Ive seen these situations a thousand times. Look how many people were telling him what they really thought of this girl when they thought she had broken up with him. Im not going to change my tune because hes with her again.

Im not telling him to break up with her, because honestly nobody ever listens anyway. Im just trying to give him a little heads up because hes in for a future of bullshit and drama and "ive dated bad guys" is gonna be the excuse every time.

Quick hint, nobody stays at their ex's apartment because they are tired. When you cant stand a person or better yet are afraid of them you do what you have to do and get the fuck out. So from my point of view, shes lying already.

Im not trying to be an asshole, I just dont have any sensitivity when it comes to this kind of thing. I just call it like I see it. Its not a big deal.


i agree 100 percent with this. i just edited my response because of the forum rules.

[BinaryTaoist]

Quick hint, nobody stays at their ex's apartment because they are tired. When you cant stand a person or better yet are afraid of them you do what you have to do and get the fuck out. So from my point of view, shes lying already.

Its bitter medicine but this statement is right on.

[Penelope]

Quick hint, nobody stays at their ex's apartment because they are tired. When you cant stand a person or better yet are afraid of them you do what you have to do and get the fuck out. So from my point of view, shes lying already.


This man knows what he's talking about.
I don't like the sound of this girl.

[strawberrypop]

Neither do I. I have no real basis for this, but my impression is that she likes playing the "poor me/victim" role, and that you buy right into that and make a big fuss about her. It sounds fairly likely to me that she overstated the entire situation to gain your sympathy. You may very well attract that kind of woman because of your protectiveness.

Tread lightly.

[Gmann]

Neither do I. I have no real basis for this, but my impression is that she likes playing the "poor me/victim" role, and that you buy right into that and make a big fuss about her. It sounds fairly likely to me that she overstated the entire situation to gain your sympathy. You may very well attract that kind of woman because of your protectiveness.

Tread lightly.


Once I see bruises on someone I tend to get a bit overprotective.

[strawberrypop]

Definitely sounds like that. I'm just saying that there are women out there who recognize & take advantage of that, and, as gentle-hearted as you appear to be with them, I would recommend being careful for your own sake.

I do hope that my assessment of her is completely off and that she just had a rough night and that you can continue to hang out or whatever and enjoy each other's company, though.

[Penelope]

If she left him three months ago why would she still have bruises? A bruise doesn't last 3 months.
I hope I'm wrong, but she sounds sketchy.

[Gmann]

She had a couple of really really bad ones when I 1st met her.

[JerseyRich]

She had a couple of really really bad ones when I 1st met her.

She's cute as hell, if that's her on your FB album from C. Island.

[Gmann]

Yep thats her.

[TripleSkeet]

Once I see bruises on someone I tend to get a bit overprotective.

Just a quick note, Iam NOT accusing this girl of lying about getting beat up. I just dont think shes as comitted to shutting this guy out of her life as she claims to be.

You seem like a really nice guy G, and some girls (especially ones in crazy drama filled relationships) like to have that nice guy to fall back on when it gets out of hand. But the bottom line is in the end you are only being used and taken advantage of because of your kind nature.

Just remember what they say about nice guys and where they finish.

[Dougie Brootal]

Just remember what they say about nice guys and where they finish.

is that some kinda crack at me???

[Gmann]

Just remember what they say about nice guys and where they finish


Yeah....I know Im a sucker for a pretty face.

[JerseyRich]

Just remember what they say about nice guys and where they finish.

I think this is a horseshit statement.

I think a better phrase would be "Pushovers finish last." I honestly don't know any woman in a worthwhile relationship with an asshole.
Nice guys win...Pushovers tend to lose.

You can be a nice guy...just don't be a pushover.

[Dougie Brootal]

I think this is a horseshit statement.

I think a better phrase would be "Pushovers finish last." I honestly don't know any woman in a worthwhile relationship with an asshole.
Nice guys win...Pushovers tend to lose.

You can be a nice guy...just don't be a pushover.

i know plenty...

[JerseyRich]

i know plenty...

Would you call them "worthwhile?"

[Dougie Brootal]

Would you call them "worthwhile?"

thats what i keep getting told...

[JerseyRich]

thats what i keep getting told...

But you see that from the outside, it's not good.

[Dougie Brootal]

But you see that from the outside, it's not good.

right, i dont know one way or the other, aside from what im told, and the fact that these assholes are still in the picture.

[TripleSkeet]

I think this is a horseshit statement.

I think a better phrase would be "Pushovers finish last." I honestly don't know any woman in a worthwhile relationship with an asshole.
Nice guys win...Pushovers tend to lose.

You can be a nice guy...just don't be a pushover.

Yea well its kinda the point. You can be a nice guy but not too nice. Dont be so nice that people walk all over you and take advantage.

Theres a happy medium between nice guy pushover and complete dickface.

Dougie I dont know your story, so no. No digs at you. Although you do know what its like to lose your girl and her championship gold to me. FACE!

[Dougie Brootal]

Yea well its kinda the point. You can be a nice guy but not too nice. Dont be so nice that people walk all over you and take advantage.

Theres a happy medium between nice guy pushover and complete dickface.

Dougie I dont know your story, so no. No digs at you. Although you do know what its like to lose your girl and her championship gold to me. FACE!

actually i was going for a cum joke...


but yeah ill never forgive you or mickie.


YOURE BOTH DEAD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gmann]

Well THAT was fun while it lasted......

[JerseyRich]

Well THAT was fun while it lasted......


Which institution did she check into?

[Gmann]

Eh...just got frustrating with all her baggage. So Im punching out before I get even more attached. She's a cool chick, she's hot as hell.....but either shit or get off the pot.

[JerseyRich]

Eh...just got frustrating with all her baggage. So Im punching out before I get even more attached. She's a cool chick, she's hot as hell.....but either shit or get off the pot.

You live in NYC...there is no shortage of cool chicks that are hot as hell.
Keep on keepin' on, my friend.

[TripleSkeet]

Congrats on smartening up. At least you had some fun.

[Gmann]

So yesterday I hung out with the new chick. Had a long talk about what was going on with her and I. We went from hanging out everyday for 3-4 weeks straight, constant calls, texts, and such to yesterday was the 1st day I hung with her in almost a week. She admitted to me she was getting really attached and it scared her and she began to push me away. She's still not over her ex and is still hurting from it. I can understand that. She still likes me lots and still wants to hang out like we were doing. I dunno. Im in no rush to rush her and whatever feelings she's feeling. All I really can do is be there for her when she needs me.

[drusilla]

flip flopper!

[~Katja~]

So yesterday I hung out with the new chick. Had a long talk about what was going on with her and I. We went from hanging out everyday for 3-4 weeks straight, constant calls, texts, and such to yesterday was the 1st day I hung with her in almost a week. She admitted to me she was getting really attached and it scared her and she began to push me away. She's still not over her ex and is still hurting from it. I can understand that. She still likes me lots and still wants to hang out like we were doing. I dunno. Im in no rush to rush her and whatever feelings she's feeling. All I really can do is be there for her when she needs me.
don't do that, at least not with the hopes of it eventually becoming more. It will hold you back from enjoying yourself and possibly turning someone down that could be great for you!

[Gmann]

Oh I know that. We stopped hanging out around 10ish the other night. She wanted to hang out some more but I said no.She wanted to go to my bar hang out some more and drink . Why did I say no.... A) because Im not gonna be on her beck and call anymore. Enough is enough. ....and B) I had a booty call coming over. Im not the sharpest knife in the drawer but Im not a total moron. :thumbup:
Meanwhile while the booty call was over my phone was totally blowing up from new chick. From 11pm till about 1am she was texting me. Nice huh?

[JerseyRich]

Oh I know that. We stopped hanging out around 10ish the other night. She wanted to hang out some more but I said no.She wanted to go to my bar hang out some more and drink . Why did I say no.... A) because Im not gonna be on her beck and call anymore. Enough is enough. ....and B) I had a booty call coming over. Im not the sharpest knife in the drawer but Im not a total moron. :thumbup:
Meanwhile while the booty call was over my phone was totally blowing up from new chick. From 11pm till about 1am she was texting me. Nice huh?

Oh man...that's badasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

[Gmann]

Hey guess what happened to me again ? :furious:

[Aggie]

Hey guess what happened to me again ? :furious:

you post this without a story and sign off....what happened???? these women suck.

[Dougie Brootal]

bogus.


hope ya didnt get smacked on the head with a beer stein.

[Penelope]

Hey guess what happened to me again ? :furious:

Welcome to the club. Me too. About 2 weeks ago. Mine is extra pathetic cause I went back and got dumped by the same guy.
I think maybe we are too nice?
I want to know what happened this time. Come back and tell us!

[TripleSkeet]

Um...take a look outside. This is the best time of the year to be single. Go out and enjoy it.

[jennysmurf]

Um...take a look outside. This is the best time of the year to be single. Go out and enjoy it.

What he said.:thumbup:

[Gmann]

Its nothing too serious. Just bugs the living hell outta me.
Got asked out by this really really hot Flight Attendant while back and we started dating. Apparently she just got out of a relationship, but ASSURED me I wasnt rebound guy.
Long story short we hang out all the time, have a gagillion things in common, talk everyday, blah blah blah.
Until last week when she flew back home to Atl for some family things and I dont hear from her in over a week. Calling...texting...nada. So I email her whats up? everything ok? you mad at me or something? blah blah blah.
Her response: "Hey I just got this, I'm not trying to avoid you. I have been busy... This is obviously not working out. I don't want to feel obligated to you or anyone... I'm really sorry. I'm not looking for anything right now. I'll take the blame because I know it's hard to do what we do and just stay friends. I do not want to lead you on in any way. It's probably best that we not talk for a while... I wasn't lying when I said that I like you and am attracted to you and your silly personality. :) but this is seriously too much for me. I gotta do what's best for me right now..... So sorry. And I'm sorry for not returning your calls. I didn't know what to say. "
:blink:
So Im flabberghasted and email her back wtf ? Thought things were going well? Did you meet someone better? Youre a great chick, beautiful,....blah blah blah
Her response: "You are so sweet to say that stuff. And just to be clear, no something "better" didn't come along. I want my space and I want to be alone. Simply that. I had a great tine hanging out with you too. It's not anything complicated and it doesn't need to be. I would really apreciate it if we could cut the communication for now if you have any desire to stay friends in the future... "


So yeah. Can I pick em or what ?

[Penelope]

I would really apreciate it if we could cut the communication for now if you have any desire to stay friends in the future... "



Bleh. Why does she think you would want to be friends in the future? Sounds like a bitch. Good riddance.

[dereckfishboy]

Bleh. Why does she think you would want to be friends in the future? Sounds like a bitch. Good riddance.

I concur. Apparently she doesn't feel like she even owes you an honest answer, fuck her and all her evasive bullshit. Think of this crap she just pulled, and imagine that on a long term basis and hopefully you'll realize you're better off.

[Gmann]

Im just annoyed she couldnt have told me this shit herself. A phone call would suffice. Ignoring someone is fucking immature and annoying as fucking hell. Give me that respect and Id feel better about it.

[Furtherman]

Lesson learned. Never date a chick right out of a relationship. You'll always be the rebound guy.

[dereckfishboy]

Im just annoyed she couldnt have told me this shit herself. A phone call would suffice. Ignoring someone is fucking immature and annoying as fucking hell. Give me that respect and Id feel better about it.

Some people just don't deal directly, they dodge confrontation whenever they can so they don't have to feel uncomfortable. This selfish bitch isn't worth the emotion you're wasting on her, why should she get a free pass while you squirm? I say take a page out of her book and be just as nonchalant about moving past it as she is. May not be as natural a response for you as it is for her, but all that negative shit sticks in your psyche the more you let it linger.

[TripleSkeet]

Dont be offended by this, but you sound like you get real clingy with girls right away. I mean, when you start dating a girl, you dont call them everyday. You dont see them 5 times a week. You start off slow, keep them off balance, make them wonder if theyve really got you, or if you didnt hear from them again you wouldnt bat an eye.

Its hard when youre a nice guy, which you also sound like. But girls want a challenge. When a girl knows that they could have you with a snap of their fingers they just dont look at you the same way again. Ill give you an example of what I mean...

Her response: "Hey I just got this, I'm not trying to avoid you. I have been busy... This is obviously not working out. I don't want to feel obligated to you or anyone... I'm really sorry. I'm not looking for anything right now. I'll take the blame because I know it's hard to do what we do and just stay friends. I do not want to lead you on in any way. It's probably best that we not talk for a while... I wasn't lying when I said that I like you and am attracted to you and your silly personality. but this is seriously too much for me. I gotta do what's best for me right now..... So sorry. And I'm sorry for not returning your calls. I didn't know what to say. "

So Im flabberghasted and email her back wtf ? Thought things were going well? Did you meet someone better? Youre a great chick, beautiful,....blah blah blah

That right there shows me why she would walk away. Thats not the kind of response a woman would respect after saying what she did to you. Youre response shouldve been..
"Hey thats cool. I was just wondering if you were still alive. It was fun while it lasted. If youre ever in town and just wanna fuck, you know my number."

I know it sounds ridiculous, but thats the kind of response that would have this woman thinking...."Wait a minute....He doesnt care that Im gone? Maybe I didnt have him as wrapped as I thought."

Sorry G, but its tough love. Im not gonna pat you on the back and tell you that shes just some weirdo. Thats what most women in her position would do. If you wanna keep a chick you gotta stop being so nice and a little less clingy.

[weekapaugjz]

Lesson learned. Never date a chick right out of a relationship. You'll always be the rebound guy.

well, not always. my fiancee ended her relationship two days before we met.

[Gmann]

Dont be offended by this, but you sound like you get real clingy with girls right away. I mean, when you start dating a girl, you dont call them everyday. You dont see them 5 times a week. You start off slow, keep them off balance, make them wonder if theyve really got you, or if you didnt hear from them again you wouldnt bat an eye.


You know what Skeet.....youre 100% right. I did get a little clingy, but I wasnt calling everyday. Most of the times she called me/texted me. She was the one bringing up how Buddy Passes only cost $30 so we could take a weekend vacation, coming over for an over night romp and making a 3day one, or how she came over specifically to cook me dinner. She's 10yrs younger than me,drop dead gorgeous, such a cool chick, friggin amazing in the sack, and SHE asked ME out. I prob did get clingy....but certain signals were there. At least I think so.

[sailor]

I know it sounds ridiculous, but thats the kind of response that would have this woman thinking...."Wait a minute....He doesnt care that Im gone? Maybe I didnt have him as wrapped as I thought."

it's sad you feel you have to play such games with women. obviously, don't be some stalker creep, but be comfortable enough to show how you feel, if you feel it.

[nate1000]

it's sad you feel you have to play such games with women. obviously, don't be some stalker creep, but be comfortable enough to show how you feel, if you feel it.

Spoken like a true married man.

[Aggie]

it's sad you feel you have to play such games with women. obviously, don't be some stalker creep, but be comfortable enough to show how you feel, if you feel it.

a lot of girls are playing that game, too. i hate to say that i agree with TS to a degree. just because she was doing the calling/texting to gmann doesn't mean he had to answer or respond every time. the beginning of the relationship is a weird game/dance most of the time. ocassionally it happens naturally but i'd say that's the exception.

[Jujubees2]

well, not always. my fiancee ended her relationship two days before we met.

And my wife of 16 years hadn't broken up with her boyfriend (she wanted to wait to do it face-to-face when he came to visit from overseas) when we started dating.

[Misteriosa]

And my wife of 16 years hadn't broken up with her boyfriend (she wanted to wait to do it face-to-face when he came to visit from overseas) when we started dating.

well shit. thats a long ass trip. she owed him that much...

[Jujubees2]

And my wife of 16 years hadn't broken up with her boyfriend (she wanted to wait to do it face-to-face when he came to visit from overseas) when we started dating.

well shit. thats a long ass trip. she owed him that much...

Yeah, but it sucked because he stayed with her for a week in the beginning of his trip and for a week at the end (he was doing a tour of the US after finishing graduate school).

[sailor]

a lot of girls are playing that game, too. i hate to say that i agree with TS to a degree. just because she was doing the calling/texting to gmann doesn't mean he had to answer or respond every time. the beginning of the relationship is a weird game/dance most of the time. ocassionally it happens naturally but i'd say that's the exception.

sure, I'd be crazy to think girls never played games or his way wouldn't work, just personally I couldn't imagine going out with someone under those circumstances.

[sailor]

And my wife of 16 years hadn't broken up with her boyfriend (she wanted to wait to do it face-to-face when he came to visit from overseas) when we started dating.

my wife broke up with my current girlfriend over AIM while that girl was on vacation in Australia. The world's a funny place.

[nate1000]

my wife broke up with my current girlfriend over AIM while that girl was on vacation in Australia.

I am not sure what to make of this statement, but it could be pure awesome if you could get them back together.

[TripleSkeet]

it's sad you feel you have to play such games with women. obviously, don't be some stalker creep, but be comfortable enough to show how you feel, if you feel it.

Dude, thats the game. I didnt make the rules. It works both ways. No dog wants to chase a rabbit that just sits there. They want to run, they want the thrill of the chase. Its not hard to understand. I met a girl once, smoking hot. I had a real interest in her. So at a party one night we hung out and hooked up. Nothing crazy, just a make out session. By noon the next day she had paged me 15 times. I completely lost interest. Not just in general, I didnt even want to try and get a piece of ass from her because I didnt want a Stage 5 clinger on my hands.

After getting more facts from G though I feel he was a little set up. I mean, if the girl is the one setting all these dates up and doing the calling, its not his fault because he answers the phone. Thats what youre supposed to do. Now she sounds more like a confused girl that doesnt know what she wants.

But 10 years younger and smoking hot? My advice wouldve been hit that as much as you can before she decides shes not ready to grow up yet.

[Gmann]

But 10 years younger and smoking hot? My advice wouldve been hit that as much as you can before she decides shes not ready to grow up yet

Oh and did I! :tongue:

And like I said before....SHE asked ME out. We had always chit chatted before when she came into my bar, I always thought she was hot, but too hot for me. So obviously she had was into me waaaaaay more than I was into her at first.

[Penelope]

You ever leave important documents and other things at the exes place that you need back, cause you had to leave really fast? I did. I have been sending one polite and cheery e mail a week as a reminder, with a mailing address. The responses I've gotten so far remind me of the relationship, empty promises, but no coming through.

[TjM]

You ever leave important documents and other things at the exes place that you need back, cause you had to leave really fast? I did. I have been sending one polite and cheery e mail a week as a reminder, with a mailing address. The responses I've gotten so far remind me of the relationship, empty promises, but no coming through.

Get a close friend to make the pick up for you.

[TripleSkeet]

Or be an adult and go over and get your shit. No small talk, no pleasantrys, just grab your stuff, say thank you, and roll.

[Penelope]

Both of those suggestion are good, under normal circumstances. In my case doing either of those things would involve a cross country plane trip now. I am now thinking sending him a self addressed stamped envelope might be a solution. Hope it works.

[Gmann]

You ever leave important documents and other things at the exes place that you need back, cause you had to leave really fast? I did. I have been sending one polite and cheery e mail a week as a reminder, with a mailing address. The responses I've gotten so far remind me of the relationship, empty promises, but no coming through.


Nope, but on a reverse note about 60% of my apt is furnished and appliance supplied because of a past ex. :thumbup:

[TripleSkeet]

Both of those suggestion are good, under normal circumstances. In my case doing either of those things would involve a cross country plane trip now. I am now thinking sending him a self addressed stamped envelope might be a solution. Hope it works.

LOL Yea you gotta include that tidbit when asking a question like that!

[Doctor Z]

Lesson learned. Never date a chick right out of a relationship. You'll always be the rebound guy.

Words of wisdom, Lloyd... Words. Of. Wisdom.