My boss talks shit behind my back

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Apparently he tells people I'm nuts and he tells the guys to stay away from me. Who the FUCK does he think he is?

I swear to fucking God this is the last straw. I HAVE to get out of that place. It is the most fucked up, petty, dysfunctional place I've ever worked for.

I so want to confront him. God knows what else he's said.

[Suspect Chin]

And this right after the other guy asked for a menage?

Something strange is happening here...

[hammersavage]

That's pretty unprofessional. But I'd kill for a boss to talk shit about me right now.

[HBox]

That sound kinda like sexual harassment.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Fuck him. I don't know if a confrontation with a boss is really all that smart, but I don't know the details and don't know how much I personally would be able to endure if I were in your position.

The best medicine is to stop giving a shit.

[Drunky McBetidont]

sounds like this job is hell from what you have posted before. any prospects for something else?

[ChrisTheCop]

That sound kinda like sexual harassment.

How?

It's definitely unprofessional, and awful for ASF, but just cuz he's a guy and she's a gal doesnt make it sexual.

[spoon]

That's pretty unprofessional. But I'd kill for a boss to talk shit about me right now.

Bossanova bat signal!

[HBox]

How?

He tells the guys to stay away from her. Unless by "guys" she meant everybody.

[spoon]

Fuzz, two things.

1) It is wrong what he's doing, but don't just look at his words and actions. You need to look into why he is coming at you like this. There is always a reason, and perhaps it's not all that hard to fix, meaning a misunderstanding.

2) Do not approach him about it, go to HR. Get your shit together and be ready for the company to defend the upper management type over the reg worker as this is normally the case. Never go over-the-top in your attacks, make it all prof and be sure to have your facts in line.

[ChrisTheCop]

Spoon's really learned from his vacation.

[Suspect Chin]

I bet the menage guy started the shit talking when you turned him down and the boss believed him and is perpetuating it.

[ChrisTheCop]

I bet the menage guy started the shit talking when you turned him down and the boss believed him and is perpetuating it.

If that can be proven, DEFINITELY sexual harassment.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I'm thinking how could confronting him possibly hurt my situation? He talked shit about ME; not the other way around. The general policy at work is that they do not give recommendations to possible new employers. Even if, down the road, I interview at a place he works at, he already has his mind made up that I'm bad news. Confronting him about his unprofessional behavior isn't going to make my situation any worse.

[Suspect Chin]

I'm thinking how could confronting him possibly hurt my situation? He talked shit about ME; not the other way around. The general policy at work is that they do not give recommendations to possible new employers. Even if, down the road, I interview at a place he works at, he already has his mind made up that I'm bad news. Confronting him about his unprofessional behavior isn't going to make my situation any worse.

Unless you are in a position financially to quit your job immediately without new job prospects, I would not confront him directly.

[SatCam]

I'm thinking how could confronting him possibly hurt my situation? He talked shit about ME; not the other way around. The general policy at work is that they do not give recommendations to possible new employers. Even if, down the road, I interview at a place he works at, he already has his mind made up that I'm bad news. Confronting him about his unprofessional behavior isn't going to make my situation any worse.

I think that's a bad idea. If he already has a negative opinion of you approaching him isnt going to help. Don't give him more ammo. Just document and go to HR.

[spoon]

Spoon's really learned from his vacation.

U must have missed my other posts. I like variety, and fuzz isn't attention whoring like someone else. For me, people get what they give.

[dino_electropolis]

Sounds like a hostile work environment.

Smells like a lawsuit.

Feels like a nice out of court settlement.

Tastes? Delicious.

[spoon]

I think that's a bad idea. If he already has a negative opinion of you approaching him isnt going to help. Don't give him more ammo. Just document and go to HR.

Exactly right. HR is your only real option, bc I assure you he'll twist everything you say and be prepared for your report. If you do decide to take action, don't tell a soul and be prepared. Good luck.

[spoon]

Sounds like a hostile work environment.

Smells like a lawsuit.

Feels like a nice out of court settlement.

Tastes? Delicious.

It can be a lawsuit, but usually just the fear of one (especially if you have things well documented and go to HR in a prof manner) will motivate the company to make it right.

[ChrisTheCop]

U must have missed my other posts. I like variety, and fuzz isn't attention whoring like someone else. For me, people get what they give.

This is indeed the 1st I'm seeing you since...the incident.

But I was referring to the content of your post; as in, thats what you and/or Pants shudda done.

Welcome back though.

[spoon]

This is indeed the 1st I'm seeing you since...the incident.

But I was referring to the content of your post; as in, thats what you and/or Pants shudda done.

Welcome back though.

Thanks. You voted for pants though u sonnnnoffffaa! No more rides for u....mustache or car!

Oh and he did make it personal, not me. I even pushed it aside at first and made my point clearly with no attacks ("i just don't see your point bobby"). I was then attacked a second time. U know me, I'll bite regardless of past at that point, and he has a history of going over-the-top when someone pushes back.

[styckx]

Sexual no, defamation of character, more likely. HR doesn't fuck around w/ that shit. Do as suggested

[ChrisTheCop]

Thanks. You voted for pants though u sonnnnoffffaa! No more rides for u....mustache or car!

ohhhshitohshitohshitohshit.

lol.

Yeah, I did. I felt like Sophie though, if that makes it any better.

But in the end, the civil servant in me told me to side with Bobby.

[spoon]

ohhhshitohshitohshitohshit.

lol.

Yeah, I did. I felt like Sophie though, if that makes it any better.

But in the end, the civil servant in me told me to side with Bobby.

Damn union boys!

[FezsAssistant]

It's ok ONLY ok if you boss' name is David Brent.

[barjockey]

I thought they always talked behind everyones back. Isnt that what HR does too?

[Death Metal Moe]

Fuzz, two things.

1) It is wrong what he's doing, but don't just look at his words and actions. You need to look into why he is coming at you like this. There is always a reason, and perhaps it's not all that hard to fix, meaning a misunderstanding.

2) Do not approach him about it, go to HR. Get your shit together and be ready for the company to defend the upper management type over the reg worker as this is normally the case. Never go over-the-top in your attacks, make it all prof and be sure to have your facts in line.

I completely agree to have things in order before you do anything and be ready for them to look to defend their upper level guy before you.

As for confronting him directly, that could go either way. It could clear things up right there but if he's the kind of asshole to just talk shit without much proof, he's just going to use it against you, make your life worse or go to management himself with fabricated nonsense.

I kinda agree with some of the posters in here who suggest going to HR, but only after you have some sort of proof or at least some people you think you can trust to stick up for your side of the story.

And even after you do all that, they might just reprimand him and not remove him which could piss him off too. I don't know, it's a hard one. We've all had jobs where our superiors are piece of living shit. I wish you luck but there doesn't seem to be one clear path to take here.

[Tenbatsuzen]

HR. HR, HR, HR. Seriously.

Not just the uncomfortable work enviroment thing. She may not have a case for sexual harrasment, but if a boss things you're "nuts", you certainly have a case there.

Missy will weigh in on this, but I believe she was in a similar situation.

[paracetamol flanders]

Apparently he tells people I'm nuts and he tells the guys to stay away from me.


Wait, you're not nuts?

[boosterp]

Sounds like a hostile work environment.

Smells like a lawsuit.

Feels like a nice out of court settlement.

Tastes? Delicious.

Sexual no, defamation of character, more likely. HR doesn't fuck around w/ that shit. Do as suggested

HR. HR, HR, HR. Seriously.

Not just the uncomfortable work enviroment thing. She may not have a case for sexual harrasment, but if a boss things you're "nuts", you certainly have a case there.

Missy will weigh in on this, but I believe she was in a similar situation.

Agreed with the above especially since he knows some of your "medical" history. This has to go to HR, do NOT go to him first. Because after documented through HR and make certain to mention several times that he knows your "medical" history, if you are fired there is a major lawsuit in your favor about to happen. Make sure there is one co-worker you can trust, but not tell what is going on. Call me if you want to chat. There is more but I do not want to give away much of what we have discussed personally, I will say you are covered by certain federal laws too.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Spoon's really learned from his vacation.

Now now, he's always been a prince in disguise! :king:

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Damn union boys!

He'd side with the law even if the law were the waffen S.S. :(

But I still love Mr.Cop. No homo.

Back to what Fuzzy said regarding how it could make things worse to confront him, it just WOULD. It is never good to confront someone who is in a position above you like that in an openly hostile angry or otherwise unprofessional manner- no matter how much the bastard might deserve it.

Also, unless you have objective evidence that he says these things besides what some guy is telling you from hearsay, you don't really have the proof you'd need to even justify an out and out confrontation.

And even if the guy was likely to give you a bad recommendation without the confrontation, it's no use to go ahead and GUARANTEE that he will do such by confronting him. That's just the kind of thing he'd want you to do. You want to do what he wants?

[sr71blackbird]

I think that's a bad idea. If he already has a negative opinion of you approaching him isnt going to help. Don't give him more ammo. Just document and go to HR.

SatCam and Spoon are right, you will be in a much better position, because he will catch some heat from HR and you get the situation resolved and you wont have to worry about losing your job in times like these. Do it the smart way, not the knee jerk way and you will be much better off.

[SP1!]

What are the laws about recording conversations? I would seriously record any further conversations with this douche.

[JPMNICK]

you cant be that bad, people at work want to have an affair with you

[ScottFromGA]

hell...Id find out if its 100% true...catch him in the act and then slam his ass.

I'd do it off the clock as well...that way he can't fire you....and if he does? Talk to my attorney, Shit Dick.

[CountryBob]

How did you find out that he has been talking behind your back? From another co-worker - or have you heard his comments yourself? this could be a big difference
I am in HR and i would definately have to investigate your claims if you came to me - probably end up talking to your boss and try to get both sides of the story (by not implacating you in the process). After all that, if no harrassment or discrimination or legally protected issues have been found< i would reccommend that he curb the comments (wether he spoke them or not), inform him that all is going to be documented and placed in his personal file, and remind him the company workplace rules and regs - which provide a fair workplace with respect and dignity for all workers.

Someone mentioned that you should document everything that you can relating to these incidents. That is correct - if this issue gets bigger you want to have notes of thoughts and conversations and interactions to help you later - if needed.

Not all HR reps go by the book - they do side with upper management most of the time but hopefully, you have an HR rep that does the right things and treats each employee and issue correctly and professionally -
Let me know if you need any more help - CB

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

It turns out another co-worker sent an e-mail to the mgrs, the VP of manufacturing, and cc'd my boss about my boss' behavior (separate issue). Tonight I found out he said I was nuts again. My friend said he'd go to HR with me, but first I want to talk to the other guys in the office and another guy who's not at the company anymore. I need to know what more he has said.

I was thinking about talking to one of the managers who's a pretty nice and sympathetic person. He might be able to help me out (especially since he received that e-mail from my co-worker already).

Maybe a trip to HR is in my future. :furious:

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I feel SO much better after talking to that manager!!!!

He was very understanding!!!

I was nervous but I told him. He said he was glad I felt comfortable to talk to him about it and asked, "How do you want to go about this?" He offered to talk to my boss himself if I wanted. He also suggested that I could go to the VP of Manufacturing (not so into that idea). His third idea is what I think I'll go with. He said, "I know you're worried about the repercussions, but you could go to HR and tell our rep that you want this on the record but you're not comfortable pursuing it at the moment. She's very professional and understanding."

Then he reassured me that what my boss said is not a reflection on me and that's not how people see me. What more could my boss want from me-- my work is really good and I make myself available for when I'm needed. He went on to say that I'm a professional at what I do. Otherwise, I wouldn't be at this company because it's not an easy business to be in.

He understands the frustration that my fellow proofreaders and I feel sometimes b/c people don't really "get" what we do. I left his office feeling like I had a weight lifted off my shoulders.

FINALLY A VOICE OF REASON IN THE SHIT HOLE I CALL MY PLACE OF WORK!!

But who the fuck knows. Maybe he left the crickets in the community fridge!! :laugh:

[Death Metal Moe]

Glad to hear you feel better about the situation now. Sounds like you made the right choice. The person you spoke to sounds professional and understanding.

And it's always nice to hear good things about your job performance too.

[spoon]

Still, it's out there now so be sure you can trust this guy. I rec that you cover your bases with HR as soon as you can.

Good news though.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I rec that you cover your bases with HR as soon as you can.

I may actually call the HR rep on Monday before work to make sure she can make time for me. I'll come in at whatever time.

I have learned SO MUCH shit about this guy! He's been brought to HR before. A few times for sexual harassment. You know what he did? He sobbed. He didn't apologize. He only sobbed because he didn't want his wife to find out.

[PapaBear]

A few times for sexual harassment. You know what he did? He sobbed. He didn't apologize. He only sobbed because he didn't want his wife to find out.
WOW! What a pussy!!! He's lucky to have a job. And a wife.

[SP1!]

I may actually call the HR rep on Monday before work to make sure she can make time for me. I'll come in at whatever time.

I have learned SO MUCH shit about this guy! He's been brought to HR before. A few times for sexual harassment. You know what he did? He sobbed. He didn't apologize. He only sobbed because he didn't want his wife to find out.

No grown man cries when getting caught, hes a pussy and making up for his small dick.

[ecobag2]

harrasment... awful.

It happens male to male these days too.

Pretty awful.

Hope things get better fuzzybutt.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I sent an e-mail to the HR rep explaining the situation. She was too busy to talk about it today (she's the only rep we have since we're a smaller company). She wants to meet with me tomorrow to get the whole story. On Wednesday, she wants us to sit down with the Sr. VP of Manufacturing since my boss is his employee.

She also added, "This does not surprise me one bit Petrina. This is very serious. There is no reason why you should be made to feel this way at work."

I'm just afraid of the repurcussions. I have such butterflies. :unsure:

[boosterp]

I sent an e-mail to the HR rep explaining the situation. She was too busy to talk about it today (she's the only rep we have since we're a smaller company). She wants to meet with me tomorrow to get the whole story. On Wednesday, she wants us to sit down with the Sr. VP of Manufacturing since my boss is his employee.

She also added, "This does not surprise me one bit Petrina. This is very serious. There is no reason why you should be made to feel this way at work."

I'm just afraid of the repurcussions. I have such butterflies. :unsure:

Stay strong and they know they can be sued if there are repercussions to your reporting of this. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[SatCam]

Stay strong and they know they can be sued if there are repercussions to your reporting of this. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

It's a HUGE liability if you are retaliated against for reporting this. If your boss did anything like that he would be gone in an instant, Im sure your company knows this.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

There is a "retaliation policy" that is clearly stated in the corporate handbook. I shouldn't have to worry but that doesn't mean things aren't going to get ugly.

I didn't want to, but my friend suggested I bring up my past with depression, being hospitalized, and being found disabled for a period of time. I NEVER mentioned any of that to my boss. The only thing I did tell him was that I needed to take a personal day. Like an IDIOT I mentioned I had to go to Social Security for a disability hearing. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I did NOT mention what kind of disability. He just smirked and asked, "You don't have a past history of killing your bosses do you?"

Then he just ran with it.

I know I was so stupid to trust him. I had only been working here a few months and I'm used to working with reasonable bosses who keep things confidential.

[Tenbatsuzen]

There is a "retaliation policy" that is clearly stated in the corporate handbook. I shouldn't have to worry but that doesn't mean things aren't going to get ugly.

I didn't want to, but my friend suggested I bring up my past with depression, being hospitalized, and being found disabled for a period of time. I NEVER mentioned any of that to my boss. The only thing I did tell him was that I needed to take a personal day. Like an IDIOT I mentioned I had to go to Social Security for a disability hearing. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I did NOT mention what kind of disability. He just smirked and asked, "You don't have a past history of killing your bosses do you?"

Then he just ran with it.

I know I was so stupid to trust him. I had only been working here a few months and I'm used to working with reasonable bosses who keep things confidential.

Petrina, there is no reason to worry about retaliation. And here's why...

The HR email you got, especially the part that "This doesn't surprise me" means they have documented issues with your boss. They are familiar with his behavior. This could be the straw that breaks the camel's back, or at the very least, takes him to the breaking point.

Since you've already established a relationship with HR, he'll have to walk around eggshells with you. YOU'RE in the position of power at this point, not him.

If he retaliates ONCE, all you have to do is tell HR. That's it. You've documented, you've told HR, end of story.

And yes, TELL HR about your past issues but DO NOT GO INTO DETAIL. That way, if anything does go south, you have documented that you are "disabled" and it can fall under the ADA and then you've really got an ace in your back pocket.

You have nothing to worry about. You are doing everything right, he is doing everything wrong.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Nothing has come of this. I do know my boss is much more cautious around me.

I do understand that Union negotiations were up this week. The HR rep said she'd talk to The SR. VP of Mfg. I chatted him up since he went on a vacation. He is a nice guy. I just thought he'd bring it up.

If he was told about it and this is the outcome, then I'm glad. I'd rather not have to sit with him in the room.

I don't know what to think.

[Doogie]

Apparently he tells people I'm nuts and he tells the guys to stay away from me. Who the FUCK does he think he is?

I swear to fucking God this is the last straw. I HAVE to get out of that place. It is the most fucked up, petty, dysfunctional place I've ever worked for.

I so want to confront him. God knows what else he's said.

I know a guy...$25 dollars and a bag of angel dust, pulls all his fingernails out.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

MY BOSS IS A LYING SACK OF SHIT!!!!

We had a sit down in HR. I went in first and she said that my boss would be in shortly. I was very nervous. She said not to be and this needs to be done.

So my boss comes in and turns EVERYTHING around like HE'S the victim. He was "shocked and appalled!"

"I don't understand how you could bring me to HR! I've been nothing but kind and helpful to you! We joke around! " Yes, this is all true. He's been a good boss... to my face. Then he went on some bullshit tirade about how he's never been brough to HR before (maybe not to this rep but certainly to the last one!). His acting was worse than Keanu Reeves.

The HR rep asked "Are things ok now? Can things go back to normal?" and before I could answer he said, "I don't know! I only think I can deal with you [meaning me] on professional level."

I AM FUCKING LIVID!!! What a fucking douchebag!!!!!

At this point it's SO aggravating that I just want to let it go. But my friend said he will go to HR and verify what has been said. Another co-worker said, "I've heard the comments too." I just don't want this to drag on.

I don't know what to do. It's been a long fucking day!!!!!

[PapaBear]

That's rough as shit! I know you want it all to go away, but I'd let them back you up. If they don't, your boss may never let you regret it.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Karma's a bitch!

MY ASSHOLE BOSS GOT DEMOTED!!!! He's just a fucking scmuck like me now.

The universe truly does have a plan!!!!!

[A.J.]

:clap:

[CountryBob]

Glad to hear! Let's hope the new boss is much better to work with.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

It gets BETTER!!!!!

He was actually laid off but asked to stay on in a temp spot. His employment is VERY precarious and he's not going to last too much longer.

I don't mean to gloat, but I am!

He has a wife and a kid so I do feel bad. A little.

[PapaBear]

I don't mean to gloat, but I am!
You deserve to.

[jauble]

I have a really supportive management staff and it weirds me out because I am waiting for the other shoe.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I have a really supportive management staff and it weirds me out because I am waiting for the other shoe.

I hear you! I've seen some very talented and hard-working people get let go.

Hang in there jauble! I'm glad you have a supportive mgmt team. All you can do is your best. That's what I tell myself every day.

[HBox]

I have a really supportive management staff and it weirds me out because I am waiting for the other shoe.

Giving employees a single shoe and making them wait for the other doesn't sound supportive at all. It almost sounds like they are mocking you, you one-shoe Charlie.