Beans, Beans so tasty and smart, the more you eat, the more you SHART

[Tall_James]

Dr. Steve,

We all know beans are the musical fruit with the more you eat...the more you toot.

But here's my question - if the more you toot the better you feel - should I be eating beans at every meal?

Or is it a scam perpetrated by the American Bean Council?

Thanks.

[Dr Steve]

Dr. Steve,

We all know beans are the musical fruit with the more you eat...the more you toot.

But here's my question - if the more you toot the better you feel - should I be eating beans at every meal?

Or is it a scam perpetrated by the American Bean Council?

Thanks.

James:

Beans are good for you...they have lots of fiber and protein, and have some B vitamins (even when cooked) and a crapload of minerals. As part of a balanced diet, they do indeed rule and are inexpensive.

However, the damn things also have a lot of indigestible sugars in them. Things your stomach can't digest, but the bacteria in your gut like just fine. So these sugars enter your shitstream (medical term for intestine) wholly undigested, and the bacteria devour them like (enter your own awful feces-related simile here).

The product of this kind of fermentation is gas, and lots of it. Hydrogen Sulfide, Methane, Carbon Dioxide, and a host of other gases make up the delicious melange of gases we call flatus, or the human fart. Did I mention methane? Yes, it's no myth, farts are usually flammable (don't try to use this information in any way at home, seriously. I will not be responsible for blistered anal tissue).

Anyway, there's two things you can do to limit the amount of indigestible sugars you feed your gut bacteria.

1) rinse dry beans THOROUGHLY before cooking them. As a matter of fact, let them soak overnight in water, then rinse several times before putting them in the pot to cook. This will leach out most of the bad sugars (along with some of the B vitamins, but not all) and make the beans less gassy.


2) take BEANO. this is a pill containing enzymes that will break down the sugars before they hit your intestines.


k?


your pal,



steve

[Tall_James]

You're the best Dr. Steve!

[Annie Waits]

boy that's a nice jacket!

I eat a lot of beans, I feel like I've developed immunity against beans, they don't make me fart like they used to, could that be possible?

[Furtherman]

This thread is a bit pointless but let me be the first one to say that i've never cried reading manga or watching anime.

Then your life is a shame.