Another GVAC Philosophical Poser: "Why don't people learn from their mistakes?"

[Gvac]

Yo Doc!

Where ya been?

We've got people dying here!

We need you!

Anyway, I've got a quick question for you. What is it that makes some people completely unable to learn from their mistakes? They do they same thing over and over again in their lives, it always winds up biting them in the ass, and they continue their behavior. They're like the proverbial child burning their hand on the stove, except they keep doing it, never drawing the connection.

Is it a learning disability, stubborness, or some sort of masochistic behavior?

[Dr Steve]

Yo Doc!

Where ya been?

We've got people dying here!

We need you!

Anyway, I've got a quick question for you. What is it that makes some people completely unable to learn from their mistakes? They do they same thing over and over again in their lives, it always winds up biting them in the ass, and they continue their behavior. They're like the proverbial child burning their hand on the stove, except they keep doing it, never drawing the connection.

Is it a learning disability, stubborness, or some sort of masochistic behavior?

Yeah, sorry for being such a douche...I'll do better from now on, promise!

Your question is so general and philosophical that it's hard to answer as is. However, I can explain a specific instance of this kind of behavior, and perhaps you can generalize it from there.

There is a subset of women who were sexually abused as children that find themselves in abusive relationships as adults. They may be hot and smart and could get any guy they wanted, but they end up with an endless string of losers who abuse them mentally or physically. It seems like they are a magnet for these kind of guys, and though they swear every time they get rid of one that they will be smarter next time, they fall for another one of these creeps again. Or they stay with the same creep.

Psychologically what's theorized to be happening is that these women were traumatized by their abusers as children when they had no power to stop it. As adult women they still have a child inside who wants to "fix" the problem. So they are attracted to men who remind them of their abuser and at some level think that if they can just make this guy love them, everything will be alright. Of course, these men are incapable of being fixed for the most part, and the result is predictable. On the outside, it seems like these women are stupid or wonton or masochistic, but they just have a little girl inside who is screaming to "fix" an abusive man.

If they recognize that they have a problem, intense counseling can help to remove the burden of trying to repair abusive men and they can go on to have "normal" relationships on an adult-adult level rather than an adult-child basis.

So you could generalize from this that there is an underlying and very powerful reason for people to not learn from their mistakes, but you may be totally incorrect to do so. Psychology ain't math. Sometimes people are just clueless. :-)

Like why did I send cake after cake to the studio, in the hopes that THIS TIME Earl would thaw it out overnight like we talked and present it nicely the next day? Every time I got beat down but I never really learned my lesson. :-) But that's another thread (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=81307), isn't it?

[RoseBlood]

There is a subset of women who were sexually abused as children that find themselves in abusive relationships as adults. They may be hot and smart and could get any guy they wanted, but they end up with an endless string of losers who abuse them mentally or physically...Or they stay with the same creep.
She may be hot, but she's not smart. The smart ones become high-end call girls. Drain the men before they drain you.