is it rude to ask friends how much money they make?

[Patient zer0]

Brought up in general conversations about life, work etc. Is it rude to ask friends how much money they make annually?
I'd like to make a poll but my blackberry won't allow it.

[Snoogans]

Im gonna say, like most of these kinda questions, that it really depends.

Depends what you were actually talkin about, and the person. Some people dont give a shit, some people do, so you need to know the person.

Plus convo. If some friend is asking me for advice about money or whether he should buy something, then its a fair question. Otherwise, probably just dont chance it

[lleeder]

Yea I think so. Why do you care? Unless you need to borrow some money.

[Patient zer0]

I don't care, nor does it matter. Just a nosey question to see wheter or not I'm on par with my freinds.

[EddieMoscone]

It depends of your use of the word friend. My mother always used to tell me that not everyone you know is your friend. Most people have very many acquaintances and very few friends.

Those who are close enough to be your real friends would probably volunteer this info and if they don't wouldn't get bent out of shape if you asked.

[A.J.]

It's rude to ask anyone how much money they make.

[Furtherman]

I make hundreds of dollars of year.

Line forms to the left, ladies.

[Sinestro]

I don't bother to ask as most of them are not working right now. But I'll ask them, so you find a job yet?

[Snoogans]

It's rude to ask anyone how much money they make.

So if I ask you for advice on whether I should buy some expensive item for this amount of money, you cant ask how much the person makes? how the fuck are you supposed to answer the question?

[Furtherman]

So if I ask you for advice on whether I should buy some expensive item for this amount of money, you cant ask how much the person makes? how the fuck are you supposed to answer the question?

What does a person's salary have anything to do with whether they want to buy an expensive item? You can easily answer that question without asking how much money they make.

[instrument]

yes.

[A.J.]

So if I ask you for advice on whether I should buy some expensive item for this amount of money, you cant ask how much the person makes? how the fuck are you supposed to answer the question?

Oh you don't have to worry. I'll lend you some of the money I stole from the Nakatomi Plaza.

[sailor]

definitely. my last job i knew how much everyone made and if people shared that info, it wouldn't have been pretty.

[Furtherman]

Oh you don't have to worry. I'll lend you some of the money I stole from the Nakatomi Plaza.

You should be on a beach, earning 20%.

[Aggie]

My mom wouldn't even tell me how much her and my dad made. Said it was none of my business. So, yes.

One thing I will ask is, "if you don't mind me asking, how much did you pay for ___?" I like to know if I'm getting a good deal.

[Snoogans]

What does a person's salary have anything to do with whether they want to buy an expensive item? You can easily answer that question without asking how much money they make.

yea. ok.

Should I buy this car for 25 grand or this one for 40 grand. Payments on this are x and on this are Y

Wouldnt you need to know, then?

Should i get this tv for 700 now or put this $5K tv on payments. A TON of things you would need to know for

[Snoogans]

Oh you don't have to worry. I'll lend you some of the money I stole from the Nakatomi Plaza.

Lend? I got it all, bitch. You got thrown out that shit. All you got was skinnier

[EddieMoscone]

The only way to know if you are getting what you're worth at your job is to find out how much other people are making for doing something similar. How can we get this info if everyone is afraid to talk about it?

[ANC]

It's rude to ask anyone how much money they make.

This

The only way to know if you are getting what you're worth at your job is to find out how much other people are making for doing something similar. How can we get this info if everyone is afraid to talk about it?

www.salary.com (http://www.salary.com/)

[Furtherman]

yea. ok.

Should I buy this car for 25 grand or this one for 40 grand. Payments on this are x and on this are Y

Wouldnt you need to know, then?

Should i get this tv for 700 now or put this $5K tv on payments. A TON of things you would need to know for

So you're talking about a bank asking you these questions. That's a different situation. The question was is it rude to ask friends.

Because if you asked me if you should buy a car for 25K or 40K, my answer would be, "Why are you asking me? That's your decision".

[Sue_Bender]

Yes, you animal.

[EddieMoscone]

www.salary.com (http://www.salary.com/)

That site is not all that great to be honest. I checked for salary for my position and the range was $40,000 a year to $125,000. How does that help? You need to have intimate knowledge of a situation to get the right info.

[instrument]

Being a hour supervisor at lowe's it was common for an internal promotion and an external hire to have a difference of up to 40k a year.

Talking about salary was highly frowned upon

[Snoogans]

So you're talking about a bank asking you these questions. That's a different situation. The question was is it rude to ask friends.

Because if you asked me if you should buy a car for 25K or 40K, my answer would be, "Why are you asking me? That's your decision".

It was just an example. You never had a friend ask your for car advice and which is a better value? Maybe I get it more cause I used to work at dealerships.

If im in a store with a friend, lookin at TVs say. he he says should i just buy this small tv for 500 bucks, or should i just get a big one for 5K and pay it 300 a month? Id kinda need to know what he makes over the bills he has to pay to give advice there.

i find it hard to believe no friend of yours has ever asked your advice for a major purchase.

And when the hell did anyone mention anything about a bank?

[SatCam]

It was just an example. You never had a friend ask your for car advice and which is a better value? Maybe I get it more cause I used to work at dealerships.

If im in a store with a friend, lookin at TVs say. he he says should i just buy this small tv for 500 bucks, or should i just get a big one for 5K and pay it 300 a month? Id kinda need to know what he makes over the bills he has to pay to give advice there.

i find it hard to believe no friend of yours has ever asked your advice for a major purchase.

And when the hell did anyone mention anything about a bank?

if he's considering making payments on a television I think that's enough information to be able to tell him not to buy it

[EliSnow]

Have fun with the poll.

[TripleSkeet]

Some friends I know are uncomfortable asking that question, so I wouldnt even ask. Others I can ask them anything and not worry.


Funny thing is, it always seems to be the ones we know are making ALOT of money that feel uncomfortable saying it. The guys living the middle class life arent bothered at all telling their friends what they make.

Maybe they think were gonna ask to borrow money or something. I dont know.

[Snoogans]

if he's considering making payments on a television I think that's enough information to be able to tell him not to buy it

Why? Alot of people can afford to pay for a 5000 TV over 6 months that dont have 5Gs at once. Not everyone in this country just throws it on a credit card and worries about it later, like most people would.

And some people like to get insane with their TVs. Shit people buy musical instruments the same way. Alot of places give you no interest and a year to pay the thing.

[Snoogans]

Some friends I know are uncomfortable asking that question, so I wouldnt even ask. Others I can ask them anything and not worry.


Funny thing is, it always seems to be the ones we know are making ALOT of money that feel uncomfortable saying it. The guys living the middle class life arent bothered at all telling their friends what they make.

Maybe they think were gonna ask to borrow money or something. I dont know.

I think its less about you borrowing. more that alot of those people just dont want the info out there cause they get worried people only talk to them cause of that. I guess

[silks]

I think it's extremely rude. Just as if somebody at the track asked me how much I won or how much I lost... it's just not right, and I'd politely tell them to go fuck themselves.

[Furtherman]

It was just an example. You never had a friend ask your for car advice and which is a better value? Maybe I get it more cause I used to work at dealerships.

If im in a store with a friend, lookin at TVs say. he he says should i just buy this small tv for 500 bucks, or should i just get a big one for 5K and pay it 300 a month? Id kinda need to know what he makes over the bills he has to pay to give advice there.

i find it hard to believe no friend of yours has ever asked your advice for a major purchase.

And when the hell did anyone mention anything about a bank?

The scenario you presented in your previous email sounded like a bank conversation.

And yes, since you did work in a dealership, this is a different scenario for you. I've never worked at a dealership.

But if I'm in a store with a friend and he asks about the TV, I tell him which TV I like better, but how he pays is his decision. Maybe I'd say "Whatever you can afford", but I would never ask, "Well, how much do you make? Let's do the math". That's insane.

Believe it, friends have asked me about a major purchase, and I'd given them advice, but never asked for how much they earn. That has nothing to do with the question.

[ANC]

That site is not all that great to be honest. I checked for salary for my position and the range was $40,000 a year to $125,000. How does that help? You need to have intimate knowledge of a situation to get the right info.

depending on what you're looking for you're right, but you can also check the current market value by looking at job postings on monster, careerbuilder, etc.

[SatCam]

Why? Alot of people can afford to pay for a 5000 TV over 6 months that dont have 5Gs at once. Not everyone in this country just throws it on a credit card and worries about it later, like most people would.

And some people like to get insane with their TVs. Shit people buy musical instruments the same way. Alot of places give you no interest and a year to pay the thing.

ok agree to disagree. we have different ideas on how money should be spent

[Snoogans]

The scenario you presented in your previous email sounded like a bank conversation.

And yes, since you did work in a dealership, this is a different scenario for you. I've never worked at a dealership.

But if I'm in a store with a friend and he asks about the TV, I tell him which TV I like better, but how he pays is his decision. Maybe I'd say "Whatever you can afford", but I would never ask, "Well, how much do you make? Let's do the math". That's insane.

Believe it, friends have asked me about a major purchase, and I'd given them advice, but never asked for how much they earn. That has nothing to do with the question.

maybe its just the friends too. Most of my friends dont give a shit. in fact sometimes the info is volunteered.

Speaking of, i know how much spoon makes, incase anyone is wonderin.




HA

[Donnie Iris]

I don't care, nor does it matter. Just a nosey question to see wheter or not I'm on par with my freinds.

Then you do care

[Snoogans]

ok agree to disagree. we have different ideas on how money should be spent

I agree with you. but I dont have the money. I know people who make plenty to afford a 5K tv but never have 5 K at one time. Sometimes its not a big deal.

Ive purchased instruments that way. i didnt have 800 bucks for a guitar, but I knew within a year I could have it. So I bought one and gave them the 800 when I had it. no big deal

[KingModem]

Asking about money is like public conversation about masturbation techniques. But....I love to pry and ask them about both.

[RoseBlood]

I just glanced over this thread cause I'm lazy, so I'm probably just going to be repeating what's already been said.

With very few exceptions, yes, I think it's rude even though the person usually doesn't intend to be rude. Aggie mentioned something about her parents not telling her how much money they made, my parents were the same way and I agree, it's not my money, not my business.

I also think it's foolish for parents to share this information with their children just as much as I think it's foolish for people to go snooping about how much their co-workers make.. nothing good ever comes from it.

[Snoogans]

I just glanced over this thread cause I'm lazy, so I'm probably just going to be repeating what's already been said.

With very few exceptions, yes, I think it's rude even though the person usually doesn't intend to be rude. Aggie mentioned something about her parents not telling her how much money they made, my parents were the same way and I agree, it's not my money therefore none of my business.

I also think it's foolish for parents to share this information with their children just as much as I think it's foolish for people to go snooping about how much their co-workers make.. nothing good ever comes from it.

anyone who went to college and wasn't from a family so rich they didnt even bother to apply for financial aid knows how much their parents make, at least at the time they filled out that form.

[RoseBlood]

anyone who went to college and wasn't from a family so rich they didnt even bother to apply for financial aid knows how much their parents make, at least at the time they filled out that form.

That's completely different.. I know how much my parents make because of that, regardless I didn't qualify anyway.

I'm referring more to younger kids who are just being nosey and curious. Kids have big mouths.

[Snoogans]

that's completely different.. i know how much my parents make because of that.

I'm referring more to younger kids who are just being nosey and curious. Kids have big mouths.

well yea kids its different. I would never tell a little kid anything.

I was talkin this to mean adult friends so I thought Aggie meant when she was like HS at least, if not older

[PhishHead]

anyone who went to college and wasn't from a family so rich they didnt even bother to apply for financial aid knows how much their parents make, at least at the time they filled out that form.

I had a friend that when he was applying for Loans for college and law school his parents made him leave the room when they filled out the salary information and they mailed the form in so he could never see it. I found it to be the weirdest thing ever as my parents and I always talked about salary and how much they made and what they did etc... My dad always talked about salary things with me to get me prepared for when I would start working and what I would want to look for.

[Snoogans]

I had a friend that when he was applying for Loans for college and law school his parents made him leave the room when they filled out the salary information and they mailed the form in so he could never see it. I found it to be the weirdest thing ever as my parents and I always talked about salary and how much they made and what they did etc... My dad always talked about salary things with me to get me prepared for when I would start working and what I would want to look for.

yea same here.

I could go ask them later what they filed as income on the fuckin taxes for last year and they would tell me. They dont give a shit.

That is weird, especially since the kid has to sign the thing and attest that everything is honest. His parents made him sign something that wasn't even filled in yet.

[PhishHead]

yea same here.

I could go ask them later what they filed as income on the fuckin taxes for last year and they would tell me. They dont give a shit.

That is weird, especially since the kid has to sign the thing and attest that everything is honest. His parents made him sign something that wasn't even filled in yet.

I will agree with partially what snoogans said about asking friends. Some of my friends I am definitely close enough with that I know how much they make and they know how much I make and we talk freely about it.

I know what spoon makes as well.

[TripleSkeet]

That's completely different.. I know how much my parents make because of that, regardless I didn't qualify anyway.

I'm referring more to younger kids who are just being nosey and curious. Kids have big mouths.

But heres the question...why does it matter if people know how much you make? Is it fear of robbery?


Around here alot of the people I grew up with dont like people to know they are doing well because they believe that others will try to put the moloiks (curse) on them. It amazes me how many people believe that.

[RoseBlood]

I was really just referring to people who are busy bodies. I have a few close friends/family where we both know what the other person makes, but more because it just comes up in conversation and we know we're not comparing salaries.

Acceptable: Hey I just got a new job and it pays alittle more than I'm making now...

Not Acceptable: Hey, I always see you being picked up in a nice car. What does your father do for a living? How much does he make?

This was an actual question the lunch lady at school asked me when I was 10.. said car wasn't even my parents. Even then I wouldn't answer her.

[RoseBlood]

But heres the question...why does it matter if people know how much you make? Is it fear of robbery?


Around here alot of the people I grew up with dont like people to know they are doing well because they believe that others will try to put the moloiks (curse) on them. It amazes me how many people believe that.

Part of it is my folks not wanting certain relatives to borrow money from them again. They have been very generous to family who has needed it in the past and now only loan to safe bets.

As far as work goes, it's nobody's business. When people get to hung up on what their collegues are making it causes problems and resentments. People need to learn how to focus on their own work.

[Snoogans]

But heres the question...why does it matter if people know how much you make? Is it fear of robbery?


.

I mean if you are making a TON i guess it could be. i think more fear of people pretending to care for you to take advantage.

I think the main reason people ask is to gauge against there own pay rate. Otherwise I can't see why it would even matter. Unless someone asks you for advice related to it

[Sinestro]

They should add an income marker to the left with how much everyone makes here.

<----------------------------------------------------------

[Sinestro]

So how much does Spoon make? Stop beating around the bushes.

[RoseBlood]

But heres the question...why does it matter if people know how much you make?
Why does it matter what others make?

I think the main reason people ask is to gauge against there own pay rate. Otherwise I can't see why it would even matter. Unless someone asks you for advice related to it

I agree with this. My main beef is nosey ass people who ask questions just because they want to compare or stir up trouble later. If it's friends seeking advice, that's entirely different.

[Furtherman]

But heres the question...why does it matter if people know how much you make? Is it fear of robbery?

When people get to hung up on what their collegues are making it causes problems and resentments.

Jealousy and pride issues unfortunately arise as well. People can get grumpy even if they think you're making more money.

When I graduated college, got a job and a place to live back home, I would run into guys from the neighborhood who didn't go to college and the resentment was instant. I was most likely making less than them but I was looked at like I just trying to prove something, better than them or some other bullshit problem. People's lack of self esteem will always find an outlet to berate others and money is one of the number one aspects that will do that.

That's why it's nobody's business.

[topless_mike]

i would have no problem asking what somebody makes, nor they asking me, if the scenario is right.

a) if somebody was ballin, then its appropriate
b) shit gets thick and a friend needs help figuring how to stay afloat

[SouthSideJohnny]

It's rude. The only exception I can think of is the Snoogans' situation where a friend asks if you think they can afford something (who the hell actually asks a friend that question?). If a close friend has a very similar job and you're curious about whether to stay at your job or take a new one for salary reasons. Even then, I don't think it's right to ask. Instead, say "I make $x; how does that compare with similar jobs at your company?"

My dad's salary was never discussed in my house when I was growing up. I have an uncle that always talked about retirement, how much money he made, and how much my cousin was making. As a kid, I could see it drove him absolutely nuts that my parents would never comment on their income. He tried everything short of asking them bluntly how much they made. To this day, I laugh every time he visits since he still doesn't know what my pop makes and now he's going nuts trying to figure out what my siblings and I make. I can see that he desperately wants to ask us directly but he knows all of us will tell him to mind his own fucking business.

[led37zep]

It bugs the shit out of my when a friend is doing it to compare. Usually I'll just make up a number at that point.

[silera]

The aversion to talk about money is so odd. I don't usually ask but if it comes up in conversation why wouldn't I volunteer the information? If someone gets a new job, I'll ask how much they're being offered. Usually for no other reason than to congratulate them.

My kids know exactly what I make because we need them to understand a budget and how to handle money and prioritize what gets paid.

[ToiletCrusher]

I don't think it is a problem... unless you know that person to be private about issues like this.

Some people are open about things like this and others are not. I guess it depends on how well you know your friends before you even ask this kind of question.

[yojimbo7248]

I would rather talk about my sexual problems...I mean, if I HAD sexual problems, I would rather talk about those with a stranger rather than have him/her ask me what I make. Just feels incredibly rude.

[Gvac]

I would never gain or lose respect for someone based on how much money they make.

I'd definitely think less of someone who would ask that question though.

[britneypablo]

<font color="deeppink"> i always explain how much i make before i ask that way its not like i didnt just give up the info....ill show you mine as long as ull show me urs later on at some point....thats how i figure

[yojimbo7248]

I would never gain or lose respect for someone based on how much money they make.

I'd definitely think less of someone who would ask that question though.

you put it perfectly

[Snoogans]

It's rude. The only exception I can think of is the Snoogans' situation where a friend asks if you think they can afford something (who the hell actually asks a friend that question?). .

I used to work for a group of car dealerships. Alot of people ask me shit about cars, prive of cars, financing options.

Sometimes its bad to ask a friend for advice. I asked spoon advice on which 150 dollar driver I should buy and his advice caused me to buy a driver for 300 bucks. BASTARD.


I fuckin love the thing, though

[Mikemantis]

No way. If they are your friends it shouldn't matter. If they are a aquantence that is a different story. but a FRIEND yeah you can ask them anything if u can't they are not ur friend.

[cougarjake13]

kinda rude but depends on the friendship and whether or not you both work at the same place

[SatCam]

I always say to people "hey look at the clothes im wearing and the car im driving... isnt it obvious I make a lot more money than you ever will?"

[STC-Dub]

The only time I would say it is not rude is if you have similar jobs and want to make sure you are getting paid the same for the same work. That is not the case very often so in most cases it is sort of rude and really none of my business what someone else makes.

[Bob Impact]

Rude, none of your business.

[Bob Impact]

I always say to people "hey look at the clothes im wearing and the car im driving... isnt it obvious I make a lot more money than you ever will?"

Wait, I've MET you.

[SatCam]

Wait, I've MET you.

hey look at the clothes im wearing and the car im driving... isnt it obvious I make a lot more money than you ever will?

[schabadoo]

hey look at the clothes im wearing and the car im driving... isnt it obvious I make a lot more money than you ever will?


As You Can See From My Name-Brand Clothing, I Am Not Poor (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33490)