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I Feel like a Death Magnet [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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grlNIN
06-24-2009, 03:06 PM
Today is my mother's birthday, so during my call to her she told me that my nephew's grandmother (the one that is not my mother) has just been back from a doctor's trip to Massachusetts and found out that her cancer-which she has been struggling with for about 4 years now-has spread to her brain.

She went to NY for emergency surgery and radiation treatments but they sent her home to basically "recover" peacefully, comfortably, in her own home. I know there's always hope but to be honest it's looking slim. My nephew just turned 4 years old in May and this is tearing me apart for not only him but also for his mother who is younger than me.

This is now happening not even 3 months after my 26 year old cousin lost her battle with cervical cancer, the day after we held a huge fundraiser for her in order to pay off her medical bills. This was more than just devastating on a family level, it really had me emotionally fucked up for awhile and has now really brought up just how volatile our mortality is.

This past Sunday a girl i grew up with my entire life died at 24 to cancer as well. That brought me right back into the head space i was in after my cousin died and now to top that off my mother broke this to me today.

I stopped and thought about it, and within 2 1/2 years 6 people in my life will have passed away, 2 of which were my age and ias fucked up as this might sound, it wasn't from something immediate that was caused by a sudden accident. It was from something that completely ravaged their bodies over a prolonged period of time. It's just too fucked up to even think about and it's making ill.

I needed to unload this somewhere and my boyfriend isn't home right now, so even if this post goes unanswered, i still needed to put it out somewhere.

Fez4PrezN2008
06-24-2009, 03:11 PM
Very sorry to hear this. I've lost a parent to cancer and at no matter what age a person at it just seems so unfair to be taken out like that.

Farmer Dave
06-24-2009, 03:19 PM
That is rough. I have no words of wisdom, just cope the best you can.

TheMojoPin
06-24-2009, 03:27 PM
I'd like to offer some words of wisdom as to how to deal with this, but I can't because I simply don't know how. I guess we just deal with these things because we have to. It doesn't make them any easier to take, but at the very least we take away something from each one that makes us stronger down the line.

silks
06-24-2009, 03:41 PM
I couldn't imagine watching a friend my age slowly succumb to a debilitating disease. All of the friends I have lost over the years were sudden, either drugs or suicide. I wish that I could offer you some words to help ease your mind from these things, but I truly don't think that there are any. However, maybe you can take comfort in the fact that you are certainly not alone in what you are feeling, as unfortunately, it happens more often than any of us would like.

Hang in there.

CofyCrakCocaine
06-24-2009, 04:52 PM
I know nothing of what it's like to be like you right now. But I do know that you're no magnet for death, or else we'd all be clinging to a fridge o' doom right about now.

Friday
06-24-2009, 05:53 PM
it would be so great if there was a definitive answer to why these things happen... especially to people we love.

unfortunately, no matter how much faith, money, education, street smarts you have... it will never make sense. there is no BIG ANSWER to the question at hand.

just know that you are prayed for and try to be strong for the people you love... and more importantly, for yourself.

try your best not to let the bad things get the best of you.

Contra
06-24-2009, 07:14 PM
I'm so sorry to see that you've dealt with so much death as of late. I hope you can move past these times and I think you'll be a stronger person because of it. Good luck my friend.

grlNIN
06-25-2009, 05:22 AM
Thanks for the kind words and well wishes. I feel somewhat better, i get the everything happens for a reason thing and i know this is tough shit to deal with on anyone's shoulders-it just seems really hard and heavy right now.

The mood i was in last night was definitely softened when i received news that there is a new niece/nephew on the way, so there is always some joy lurking around the fringe of tragedy i guess.