To shoot thyself or not to shoot thyself

[Doogie]

Yes...I wrote a long diatrabe earlier and scrapped it. Tried to find a friend on IM/phone/etc.

Amazing how many people tell you "talk to me when anytime" yet they are unavailable.

Amazing too how you work PT jobs for a year, keep your head afloat, and they wish for you to work FT again. Yet when you work FT again and it isnt up their standards and they say "why?" Is it not enough I work FT and go to school at night for my masters? Want my plasma?

I also love too how people tell you to meet, we are "all going to have the time of our life" yet they don't call/text or what have you. You sit there with their cousin, of whose birthday it is, and they don't call. Just simply ditch you.

What did I do except be everything less than myself? I once had an ex tell me I "live by an honor code that died many moons ago." Does that mean I am done? Has my time long passed? I cant make anyone happy...All I do is fuck up. I have the firearms, why not?? Why not erase the blight?

[TooLowBrow]

live inside your own head, not everyone elses

[joethebartender]

You sound like you're having a tough time, but times change and you've got to give yourself another shot (no pun intended). Start over tomorrow.

This isn't what you wanted to write or how you want to be thinking. I know that its rough, but do yourself and everyone else a favor and at least sleep on this.

Things are going to get better. I am sure, and if they don't...well at least you're not Gvac.:tongue:

[bigtim666]

could be much worse, i got turned down by 2 girls who looked like they had down syndrom.

[instrument]

could be much worse, i got turned down by 2 girls who looked like they had down syndrom.

they did have down syndrome you fucking animal.

[grlNIN]

they did have down syndrome you fucking animal.

Note the forum.

[A.J.]

What did I do except be everything less than myself? I once had an ex tell me I "live by an honor code that died many moons ago." Does that mean I am done? Has my time long passed? I cant make anyone happy...All I do is fuck up. I have the firearms, why not?? Why not erase the blight?

Fuck making others happy. Make yourself happy. That you live by an honor code makes you good people. Hang in there Doog.

[FezsAssistant]

I will kill myself as soon as my mother dies. She's not sick or anything and she's not old. I just know it would hurt her to see me die, so I'm waiting for her to go first. It's the only reason I haven't done it already.

[boosterp]

I've been in that dark area a couple times before and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

But, I have found there is always a light at the end of the tunnel with the help of mental health professionals, my family, and my closest friends.

Talk to someone please and get help to come out of the darkness that is depression.

[ChrisTheCop]

Doogie-- you KNOW you've brought happiness to alot of people, including me.
Whatever you're going through is just a phase.
You've been happy before and you'll be happy again.
Meanwhile,take your aggressions out on the japs and germans on COD.

[disneyspy]

a .net without doogie would be less cool,dont do it

[Doogie]

No I am not ready to shoot myself again, but am pretty close to committing myself for a few days...

Ok, I go in for some training for a FT job today, I have my friend cover my AFTERNOON bartending gig at a Legion I am a member of. Well long story short, friend doesn't show, they panic. Dont call me, call others. Yet when I show up later I am told I "pissed people off." And "I disappointed the post..." Why didnt they call me if their was a problem?? Arrrrggghh. I dont know what is worse, the fact that I am one of the more active members/officers of that place or that I am treated like a runaway slave. Or both.

Mind you when I was out getting trained for a FT gig in the real world. Last bartender like me in my position they sent him off had a party etc...I get a FT gig and I am shit all over. My friend Christie tried to convince me it is cause they are a bunch of bitter old men and want to shit all over me. I dont know. I just feel like shit now, and very downtrodden. Have a day off and was not drinking for a lil bit and wanted to carry it further but felt very disrespected. Even worse the guy speaking to me said "We respect your father, and we like your sister..." yet nothing about me.

I hate that I dedicate time to these VOLUNTEER organizations and all they take from me is blood, tears and what not. I even said to the guy tonight "What do you want?? Blood? Sperm? Tissues? Ill give you all..."

I hate that people who are supposed to be serving veterans make me feel like I am the worst piece of humanity ever. I give to the post what more am I supposed to give?? God, I want lymphoma now...