Morning After Pill Sadness Story

[IamFogHat]

My girl just crushed me. We were irresponsible again and needed the morning after pill. She has anxiety about some social stuff so I have to buy it. Anyway, she just sent me an email that said basically 'thanks for buying me the pill' (not sarcastically) 'but I'm really sad that I'm killing our baby right now.'
This is not the first time we've had to do this, and I remember the first time she had a similar sentiment and the next couple we just didn't talk about it, but now she's said it again and I'm really fucking depressed and don't want her to be upset.
Can anyone relate?:sad:

[instrument]

And what type of birth control are you guys using, and how did you determine she was pregnant, just wondering

[dino_electropolis]

Kinda sorta, but not to that level.


I've had my fiance take it....not a fun thing in the least.....but i consoled her by telling her that we weren't 100% sure that she was pregnant, only 100% sure that we should have been more careful.

I guess what i'm getting at is, if your not sure she's pregnant, then taking the pill doesnt necessarily equate to an abortion.

Good luck.....

[angrymissy]

You can tell her that it's more likely than not that she is not pregnant. You guys understand how the morning after pill works, right? That email sounds very dramatic and manipulative, IMO, especially if you guys have used this multiple times.

[mendyweiss]

You can tell her that it's more likely than not that she is not pregnant. You guys understand how the morning after pill works, right? That email sounds very dramatic and manipulative, IMO.
Missy is correct

[Furtherman]

If you're not ready for a kid, just think you're doing the right thing for yourselves and any offspring that may or may not have resulted.

And I don't want to lecture, but... BAG IT!

[IamFogHat]

That email sounds very dramatic and manipulative, IMO, especially if you guys have used this multiple times.

No, I totally know what you mean, but it's not, it's one of those things you can't convey in text online, she's just sad.

[~Katja~]

The morning after pill prevents pregnancy, not kill your baby. It prevents the egg from getting fertilized by killing sperm, and (or) it stops a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.

If you guys had to use this method multiple times it is clear that you are not ready to become a parent, it's time to read up and look into some more effective contraceptives or just use a condom, as much as this may suck for you.

[IamFogHat]

I don't think I phrased this very well, I think the point is not that there was an 'abortion' which there wasn't, the point is that she is sad because we could have potentially had a child together and now we are not.

And yes, we're not ready to be parents, and yes we should wear condoms but we are irresponsible sometimes, really not why I started this thread, thanks.

[RoseBlood]

I'm sorry to hear that. Use whatever preventative measures you're both comfortable with next time as she sounds like an extremely sensitive person and I doubt either of you want to go through this again.

And I may be out of line in suggesting this, but whatever; don't rely on her to tell you she's taking the pill or whatever especially in the heat of the moment, if that's even the case, unless you're prepared to have to comfort her while she "mourns" or unless you want to become a father. I only say this because you said yourself, this has happened multiple times before.

[RoseBlood]

I don't think I phrased this very well, I think the point is not that there was an 'abortion' which there wasn't, the point is that she is sad because we could have potentially had a child together and now we are not.

And yes, we're not ready to be parents, and yes we should wear condoms but we are irresponsible sometimes, really not why I started this thread, thanks.

I can't tell if that last comment is sarcasm or serious. Either way, your're welcome and did you really expect any other kind of response than the ones you've gotten?

[boosterp]

This sorrow could be prevented but instead of echoing the already good advice here I will only add that I am sorry the two of you have to go through this.

[Misteriosa]

if she does not want to get on any birth control method such as estrogen based pills, progesterone based pills, depo shot, etc. then youre gonna have to wear a condom every single time.

i think that her sending the text/email was pretty messed up. youve said that she wasnt being manipulative, but "killing our baby" means that she may not be as comfortable about it as she may lead you to believe. if she had no qualms about using plan b, she would be relieved more than anything (im talking from expreience here). if she secretly wants a child, then she needs to address you about it. you also need to talk to her about the kind of impact these statements have on you as well.

as others have pointed out before, there is a better chance that she's not pregnant, so to begin to blame this on hormones, i feel, is false. she (as well as you there, bub ) also needs to be better educated on what certain contraceptives do and a trip to her gyn is in order. again as others have noted, plan b doesnt abort a fetus. it prevents the fertilized egg (if any) from implanting itself in the walls of the uterus.

you are doing the right thing by making sure you are ready for children before you decide to have one, just dont make plan b your contraceptive plan.

big hugs to you and her.

[dino_electropolis]

Completely off topic, but Roseblood's avatar is making me love life too!

[~Katja~]

I don't think I phrased this very well, I think the point is not that there was an 'abortion' which there wasn't, the point is that she is sad because we could have potentially had a child together and now we are not.

And yes, we're not ready to be parents, and yes we should wear condoms but we are irresponsible sometimes, really not why I started this thread, thanks.

I actually read out of her responses that she is ready to be a parent and might want to go the next step in your relationship... she seems to hint that direction...
so you may be the only one not ready for more?
How old are you guys? Maybe she is going through her first phase of getting older and being worried to miss the parenthood boat...

[angrymissy]

I'm going to be blunt. If this is inappropriate, feel free to let me know and I'll delete it.

There are some women who like to be the victim and have people feel sorry for them. I say this as someone who subconsciously dabbled in that game when I was MUCH younger (until a teacher talked some sense into me). Sometimes they take it to the point of perpetuating or taking advantage of dramatic events, even if unconsciously to feed this need. I had a friend who did that in EXACTLY the same manner with Plan B, she would miss her pills, then take Plan B, then expect a few days of coddling and sympathy from her then boyfriend, wash, rinse, repeat.

The fact that she continues to use the morning after pill as birth control, yet feels sad about it, and speaks of it as killing her children, is a big flag, unless she is also concered about the "child that could have been" every time she gets her period. You need to have a serious talk about birth control - and you say she already has anxiety issues, she should be speaking with a professional about this. I don't understand why she would put herself though the morning after pill over and over, considering it makes you sick. There is a deeper reason there.

[Death Metal Moe]

Yea once is one thing. If you guys are pretty serious and she is thinking about kids or something, I can understand the sadness, once.

If this is something going on again and again I tend to agree with some of the ladies in here that it's messed up, sorry. It's not as big a surprise each consecutive time and it shouldn't be as hard a thing to do each time.

Sounds little like the Ol' Sympathy Train is pulling into the station one more time.

[britneypablo]

<font color="deeppink"> OH GAY
it detaches the eggs before it is fertilized



done it countless times.....just this weekend alone


but really the only bad thing about it is its not THAT healthy for the female and it makes u feel like death but ive done it a bunch.....get responsible or pay the consequences.....i was dumb many times, but the information on how to be safe and not make mistakes is very easy to acquire and understand.....sorry but tell that bitch to get over it and stop being a cunt....or just have the baby....she seems smart enough to take care of one




edit: i had unborn child on my fingers this morning when i woke up so sorry if my post is kinda like witchie

[dino_electropolis]

<font color="deeppink">




done it countless times.....just this weekend alone


.sorry but tell that bitch to get over it and stop being a cunt....


:wub::wub::wub:

[Dan 'Hampton]

<font color="deeppink"> OH GAY
it detaches the eggs before it is fertilized



done it countless times.....just this weekend alone


but really the only bad thing about it is its not THAT healthy for the female and it makes u feel like death but ive done it a bunch.....get responsible or pay the consequences.....i was dumb many times, but the information on how to be safe and not make mistakes is very easy to acquire and understand.....sorry but tell that bitch to get over it and stop being a cunt....or just have the baby....she seems smart enough to take care of one




edit: i had unborn child on my fingers this morning when i woke up so sorry if my post is kinda like witchie

Why would you even need it when you're obviously on the rag.

[britneypablo]

Why would you even need it when you're obviously on the rag.

<font color="deeppink"> oh i was just sayin ive done it countless times...and then this weekend alone was a joke....jus sayin :)

[TheGameHHH]

<font color="deeppink"> edit: i had unborn child on my fingers this morning when i woke up so sorry if my post is kinda like witchie

gross....i just puked a little

[PD]

I'm going to be blunt. If this is inappropriate, feel free to let me know and I'll delete it.

There are some women who like to be the victim and have people feel sorry for them. I say this as someone who subconsciously dabbled in that game when I was MUCH younger (until a teacher talked some sense into me). Sometimes they take it to the point of perpetuating or taking advantage of dramatic events, even if unconsciously to feed this need. I had a friend who did that in EXACTLY the same manner with Plan B, she would miss her pills, then take Plan B, then expect a few days of coddling and sympathy from her then boyfriend, wash, rinse, repeat.

The fact that she continues to use the morning after pill as birth control, yet feels sad about it, and speaks of it as killing her children, is a big flag, unless she is also concered about the "child that could have been" every time she gets her period. You need to have a serious talk about birth control - and you say she already has anxiety issues, she should be speaking with a professional about this. I don't understand why she would put herself though the morning after pill over and over, considering it makes you sick. There is a deeper reason there.


missy is very smart.

[CountryBob]

I second - Missy is very smart!

[RoseBlood]

missy is very smart.

um.. are you pointing out the sub/un-conscious typo? :unsure:

either way, Missy's post was spot on. She expressed what I was thinking, but wasn't able to articulate so well.

also, just goes to show why so many females don't get along. We see through one another and can't get away with manipulating other women, the way we can men.

[TripleSkeet]

Missy hit the nail on the head. She either likes the sympathy or shes trying to guilt you into really having a kid with her. Why wouldnt she just go on birth control? Ugh, condoms fucking blow.

You guys should feel lucky you at least have a morning after pill now. I used the pull and pray method since I was 22.

[instrument]

People seem to forget about iud's

[~Katja~]

People seem to forget about iud's
they are not suited for everyone, especially if you have not had a kid yet and some come with some pretty bad side effects

[Aggie]

they are not suited for everyone, especially if you have not had a kid yet and some come with some pretty bad side effects

This is true but there are so many kinds of birth control out there, especially ones that you don't have to take every day. It amazes me how lazy or ignorant people are sometimes about this stuff. I knew two female co-workers who had at least 3 abortions each because neither of them used birth control and then had sex without condoms. It's maddening.

[Penelope]

um.. are you pointing out the sub/un-conscious typo? :unsure:

either way, Missy's post was spot on. She expressed what I was thinking, but wasn't able to articulate so well.

also, just goes to show why so many females don't get along. We see through one another and can't get away with manipulating other women, the way we can men.

For real.
Very manipulative behavior.

[RoseBlood]

This is true but there are so many kinds of birth control out there, especially ones that you don't have to take every day. It amazes me how lazy or ignorant people are sometimes about this stuff. I knew two female co-workers who had at least 3 abortions each because neither of them used birth control and then had sex without condoms. It's maddening.

The sad irony of all that is the damage they are doing to themselves might one day leave them infertile.

My mother use to volunteer at a hospital and she stopped cause it broke her heart to see the same girls/women coming back 3, 4 times for an abortion.

[JerseyRich]

The sad irony of all that is the damage they are doing to themselves might one day leave them infertile.


At the risk of sounding insensitive, I think in some of these cases, they might be doing as all a favor.

[hammersavage]

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I think in some of these cases, they might be doing as all a favor.

you've been tagged accordingly

[JerseyRich]

you've been tagged accordingly

I held my hand to the fire and got burned. I have no one to blame but myself.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

they are not suited for everyone, especially if you have not had a kid yet and some come with some pretty bad side effects

Yes, I had an IUD and it caused me nothing but problems (constant bleeding and an infection) after 3 years. Never again.

[topless_mike]

forgive me for being insensitive,
but what are these "social anxiety issues" that you mentioned?

i dont know you, nor her, but just from what was presented to me and from experience, your gf sounds like bad news in the making.

[red_red_red]

This is true but there are so many kinds of birth control out there, especially ones that you don't have to take every day. It amazes me how lazy or ignorant people are sometimes about this stuff. I knew two female co-workers who had at least 3 abortions each because neither of them used birth control and then had sex without condoms. It's maddening.
especially since birth control is cheap and accessible....it's not only maddening, it's frightening the lengths that ppl will go to NOT use birth control.

[Skellington]

" 'but I'm really sad that I'm killing our baby right now.'"

With a morning after pill? That's just a zygote. Not a baby. You guys eat eggs, right? Sure you do. Those are zygotes, yolky, goodness. In some parallel universe, Chickens eat our morning after expulsions for breakfast.

You make a mistake once, shame on you, do it again, you must be a glutton for preventing yourself from breeding even though you didn't try to prevent it to begin with, like a brain-fart. Wrap up your willy, or get the woman on some form of anti-baby-making-drug. And tell your chick how you feel. Her text is like some weird woman doublespeak for a setup.

I hate most other women. Especially those with poor hygene.

[keithy_19]

You can tell her that it's more likely than not that she is not pregnant. You guys understand how the morning after pill works, right? That email sounds very dramatic and manipulative, IMO, especially if you guys have used this multiple times.

We often quarrel Missy, but you and I see eye to eye on this.