Not a single friend

[ryno1974]

I just realized I don't have a single friend. I don't mean all my friends are in relationships, I mean I have NO friends. I have an awesome wife, three beautiful children here with me, one sweet baby girl in heaven, lovable pets, and tons of acquaintances in and out of work. But no friends. My closest friend is my boss (how depressing is that?) and for obvious reasons there are some strange boundaries in that relationship.

I used to have friends. I dont know what happened. I have tried to make new online friends through message boards, but tonight I realized while getting shit on an aquarium hobby message board for being mean to someone (dont ask, the aquarium people have very thin skin it appears) that I cant even make that work.

Fuck me, if I die tonight I doubt there will be anyone at my funeral. For as good as my life looks outwardly for the reasons I listed above, this grinds me down and depresses the shit out of me.

Sorry guys, I needed to get this out of my system before bed.

Later buddays.

[Dude!]

I just realized I don't have a single friend. I don't mean all my friends are in relationships, I mean I have NO friends. I have an awesome wife, three beautiful children here with me, one sweet baby girl in heaven, lovable pets, and tons of acquaintances in and out of work. But no friends. My closest friend is my boss (how depressing is that?) and for obvious reasons there are some strange boundaries in that relationship.

I used to have friends. I dont know what happened. I have tried to make new online friends through message boards, but tonight I realized while getting shit on an aquarium hobby message board for being mean to someone (dont ask, the aquarium people have very thin skin it appears) that I cant even make that work.

Fuck me, if I die tonight I doubt there will be anyone at my funeral. For as good as my life looks outwardly for the reasons I listed above, this grinds me down and depresses the shit out of me.

Sorry guys, I needed to get this out of my system before bed.

Later buddays.

i got a shitload of friends
but no wife and kids

the wife and kids have 1000 times
the value of a bunch of friends

you don't know what you got, brother

[mikeyboy]

i got a shitload of friends
but no wife and kids

the wife and kids have 1000 times
the value of a bunch of friends

you don't know what you got, brother

This may be the only time I say this, but Dude! speaks the truth.

[jauble]

i got a shitload of friends
but no wife and kids

the wife and kids have 1000 times
the value of a bunch of friends

you don't know what you got, brother

X2


and I want to know what you said that upset the aquarium folk. Also, you may not have friends, but you have your rf buddies. While that might not mean much at first, I have developed friendships on this board where I know I can call and talk to a person if I need something.

[STC-Dub]

I am with you. I have no kids but do have a wife who is great but no real friends.

[~Katja~]

I applaud you for sticking with the wife and kids for the past years regardless of losing meaningless friends over it!
I have a few best friends from back home and we never communicate or are in touch throughout the year... when I see them it is like we continue where we left of ... I bet you still have some of these friends too...

in the meantime messageboard acquaintances can be wonderful friends, even if they are not friends in a traditional sense... but they listen and give you advice when you seek it without judging you for the most part.

[biggirl]

It is hard to have friendships once you have a wife and family. My husband still remains my best friend.

Sometimes you need to take time for yourself, when you do you will find friends with the same interests.

[TooLowBrow]

every single friend i have is in a relationship

:sad:

single people make the best friends

[ryno1974]

X2


and I want to know what you said that upset the aquarium folk. Also, you may not have friends, but you have your rf buddies. While that might not mean much at first, I have developed friendships on this board where I know I can call and talk to a person if I need something.

A simple discussion really. Someone posted a story link about a bank teller that got robbed and instead of handing over the cash like the policy states, he chased the guy and held him for the cops. He got fired. My point was if therewas more of this kind of pride of ownership in ones work / personal life thugs wouldnt be so confident to take what they want. A gu disagreed with me saying " the money is insured so who cares". I argued that the "its not my property so why do I care about it" attitude is what gets this country (and yours) in trouble in the first place. Not much controversy, but I started getting messages from mods to "keep it above board" and to "relax".

I can just imagine the virtual thrashing that would go on on this board with the same discussion :)

Hence the reason I spend more time here than there.

Now if we could just get a nice aquarium DIY thread going on .net..................

[jauble]

A simple discussion really. Someone posted a story link about a bank teller that got robbed and instead of handing over the cash like the policy states, he chased the guy and held him for the cops. He got fired. My point was if therewas more of this kind of pride of ownership in ones work / personal life thugs wouldnt be so confident to take what they want. A gu disagreed with me saying " the money is insured so who cares". I argued that the "its not my property so why do I care about it" attitude is what gets this country (and yours) in trouble in the first place. Not much controversy, but I started getting messages from mods to "keep it above board" and to "relax".

I can just imagine the virtual thrashing that would go on on this board with the same discussion :)

Hence the reason I spend more time here than there.

Now if we could just get a nice aquarium DIY thread going on .net..................

Start slow, creepily pm posters that you agree with or that entertain in general. If it works out you exchange phone numbers and talk about BS on the weekend.

[Marc with a c]

every single friend i have is in a relationship


single people make the best friends

i had to read that too many times.

[RhinoInVT]

i have a bunch of friends, but we mostly just self-medicate together.

[A.J.]

I mainly have acquaintances. It's all good.

[Mr.Misery]

My friends come and go. Usually, they don't last too long. Right now, I'm between friends, which is actually alright with me. Being content to be by oneself, it seems, has become some kind of taboo. Some people are just loners...it don't make you a bad person. Some people are afraid to be alone, because they're really uncomfortable with themselves on some level. Conversely, there are those who prefer to be alone, because they're not comfortable with who they feel they have to be around other people. Not necessarily uncomfortable being around others, but feeling they have to put on a mask--be someone they're not; I guess this just comes more natural to some.

But yeah, if you've got a wife and kids, that's worth more than a thousand friends. I'd say you're doing pretty well for yourself.

[Drunky McBetidont]

Now if we could just get a nice aquarium DIY thread going on .net..................

start it up. i am game.


i want to get a salt tank gong and i am too lazy to search the interwebs to learn how.

[led37zep]

start it up. i am game.


i want to get a salt tank gong and i am too lazy to search the interwebs to learn how.

Salt + Water + Bowl=Salt Water Aquarium

[I Like Fez]

But yeah, if you've got a wife and kids, that's worth more than a thousand friends. I'd say you're doing pretty well for yourself.

Anyone can get a wife and kids. Friends are usually a mutual decision.

[led37zep]

Anyone can get a wife and kids. Friends are usually a mutual decision.

And a wife isn't?

[weird beard]

what do you do when you have the wife and kids and the wife isnt in your corner anymore and you dont have a friend to turn to? having a wife is great but you cant talk to her about everything.

[Dude!]

Salt + Water + Bowl=Salt Water Aquarium

+ Heat + Butter =

delicious fish dinner

[I Like Fez]

And a wife isn't?

How many people do you know who are only married because of their kids? Or, because their religion tells them that they have to be married in order to fuck and/or have kids?

[CHUCKWAGONCOOK]

Suck it up pirate and get back on the ship. There's swabbin' to be done!!!

[treader]

I am in the same boat here, wife, three kids, and not sure if i am just anti-social or what, but between the kids and wife, and a job, no real time to just drop in for a drink at a bar, or hang with anyone. Watching this board daily, haven't been possessed to write, but feel the same way. i mean the board is good to voice opinions and whatnot, but i always feel there is something missing.....

[JerseyRich]

I have too many friends...

Can I unload some of them on ya?

[sailor]

I have too many friends...

Can I unload some of them on ya?

sounds like they're not really friends. mission accomplished.

[TripleSkeet]

You said you used to have a bunch of friends, but dont know what happened.

Im gonna take a guess here and you tell me if Im right. When you met your girlfriend (now your wife) did you basically stop hanging out with your friends so you could spend all your free time with her? Because I see that happen alot. Guys get pussywhipped and pretty much cut all time for their friends out.

Then if the relationship doesnt work out they try to come back and often find their friends have moved on and dont have any interest in hanging out with them until they find the next girl to ignore them for. If the relationship does work out, they find themselves in the position you are in now.

Personally I have alot of friends and have made a point to make time to hang out with them at least once or twice a month even when I had a girlfriend (now married with 2 kids) and Im really glad I do. If this is the case with you (and look hard and be honest with yourself if it is) just learn from your mistake and move on.

Its never too late to make more friends. By the way, what kind of aquarium do you have? Ive got a 95 gallon reef tank myself.

[OGC]

I can honestly say I'm in the same situation as ryno1974. I am married to a wife that loves me as I am, and I have 3 children and a grandson. The best friend I had over the last 20 years or so was my Dad and he died about 2 years ago.

I can't say that I really even know how to be a friend or make friends. There were kids in the neighborhood when I was young but they pretty much hung out with other kids if they had a chance to.

Yeah I feel sorry for myself sometimes but like others have said, my wife and kids make me very happy. And I am getting better at being social so who knows, I may end up making a friend one of these days.

[Aggie]

You said you used to have a bunch of friends, but dont know what happened.

Im gonna take a guess here and you tell me if Im right. When you met your girlfriend (now your wife) did you basically stop hanging out with your friends so you could spend all your free time with her? Because I see that happen alot. Guys get pussywhipped and pretty much cut all time for their friends out.

Then if the relationship doesnt work out they try to come back and often find their friends have moved on and dont have any interest in hanging out with them until they find the next girl to ignore them for. If the relationship does work out, they find themselves in the position you are in now.

Personally I have alot of friends and have made a point to make time to hang out with them at least once or twice a month even when I had a girlfriend (now married with 2 kids) and Im really glad I do. If this is the case with you (and look hard and be honest with yourself if it is) just learn from your mistake and move on.

Its never too late to make more friends. By the way, what kind of aquarium do you have? Ive got a 95 gallon reef tank myself.

I hope you return the favor for your wife and watch the kids while she hangs with her friends. It's only fair. My husband and I make it a point to still hang out with our friends either together or separately as often as possible.

[TripleSkeet]

I hope you return the favor for your wife and watch the kids while she hangs with her friends. It's only fair. My husband and I make it a point to still hang out with our friends either together or separately as often as possible.

In all honesty I try to encourage her to hang with her friends even more then she does.

The good thing is I usually dont have to watch the kids when she does. Girls night usually happens at my house since we have the bar/pool/hot tub. So when she plans one the kids go to her moms, and I gotta go out and find something to do.

We both agree that making time for your friends is something thats really important.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

i got a shitload of friends
but no wife and kids

the wife and kids have 1000 times
the value of a bunch of friends

you don't know what you got, brother

Dude...

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I'd love to give advice in this thread, but I haven't ever been married or tethered to a job that requires an ungodly amount of my time yet, so I really can't officially tell you how to handle the friend situation.

I know that in any long-term relationships, I tended to spend most of my time focusing on the woman and me; I have a buddy who can't focus on anything outside of work and girlfriends; I have had periods of my life where I honestly didn't want to know anybody and kept off the radar and I've come out of those times making new friends while rebuilding old bridges I had burned long ago.

But I've never been married. That's a tough one to consider. But if you have three kids and a wife and are pining for friends in the sight of that goldmine... I think maybe you just want something that's different from whatever's going on in your life right now, which is what makes the whole friends notion very attractive. Pretty common for people to feel that way; don't make ya a bad person.

If you really want friends tho... u can always get 'em. But they're better having in person than online where nobody really gets what you're saying half the time anyway. Way too easy to misunderstand a line of font and get in trouble for it without ever meaning anything offensive by it.

[nukinfuts]

First of all I haven't posted much in forever but holy shit I feel like I am coming back to a war zone lots of people on vacation :sad: Second of all I am right there with you. It's really difficult to balance friends and family. The best thing to do is find friends that can be friends with your family. I know that sounds goofy but sometimes the only way to hang out is to do it with people in your same situation. I can remember being younger and my parents had a group of about 6 couples (no my parents were not swingers) and they all had children and we'd go on vacation together and it was almost like having an extended family since as kids in this group we did kind of all grow up together. I would like to say that I was not a member of a cult either. I often wonder why I don't have that kind of thing as well. I have friends but not the kind I would hang out with alot or talk to on the phone. Making lasting relationships is difficult. It's hard enough to keep marriages and the such together let alone invite more people into the mix. I don't know if it's time we live in or what but it seems like my parents generation were better at making friendships last.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

i got a shitload of friends
but no wife and kids

the wife and kids have 1000 times
the value of a bunch of friends

you don't know what you got, brother

QFT!!

I have no husband or kids. I have no family. Last night I realized I'm not the most important person in anyone's life. I'm no one's emergency contact!

Be happy for what you have. You're blessed.

[Section 8]

I am married with a kid. I told my wife (when she was my gf) that I needed to spend time with my friends as well. She completely understood that. I still see at least one of my friends at least 1 or two times a month.

You might want to try some social hobbies where you get out and do something. I've made quite a few friends from being in a bowling league. You can join a "fun" league (not a "money" league unless you're a good bowler). You'll meet new people and may make some new friends.

[TripleSkeet]

Guys, you need to relax on the "JUST BE THANKFUL FOR HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT" talk. I mean, yes having a wife and kids are the best things I have in my life. But I would be really unhappy if I had no friends.

Thats like having a fucking Ferrari with no roof. The guys bitching about having to sit in a wet seat everytime it rains and youre telling him to just be thankful he has a Ferrari.

As far as the couples thing goes, that could be fun too, but go out and make some friends for YOU to hang out with. Not your wife. You need some people you can hang out with and escape from the family life for a few hours. If my wife was the only person I could ever hang out with wed be divorced or dead in about a week. She feels the same way.

[biggestmexi]

same here