DJ Gallo

[Snoogans]

http://www.sportspickle.com
Is fuckin hilarious. From his QB battles preview:
New York Jets

Kellen Clemens

PRO: Despite his last name and the fact that his first name starts with a K, he's not related to that dickwad Roger Clemens.

CON: Perhaps not coincidentally, he also can't throw anywhere near as well as Roger Clemens. (But as an addendum to his PRO: he's also not on steroids. So that's nice.)

Mark Sanchez

PRO: Has experience running a pro-style offense and playing under the pressures of a pro-style contract.

CON: He has never played a game in the snow. (And he may never. Please recycle!)

[MC Pee Pants]

mmm

[cougarjake13]

funny

[Evolved]

funny

no

[STC-Dub]

I always enjoy Gallo's stuff.

[Snoogans]

Our reporter spent the day at Minnesota Vikings training camp in Mankato, Minn. Here are his notes.

> Brett Favre may not know all the Vikings plays yet, but he has had no problem so far adapting them to his style of play. Regardless of the call, he just drops back, runs around in a circle a few times, spots the receiver farthest down the field and then throws the ball as high and as far as he can. And the good news for the Vikings: with Favre's aging eyes and weak, old man arm, he's normally hitting a receiver only 10 to 15 yards downfield -- just the conservative approach this team needs! Great signing.

[Snoogans]

Jamaican track star Usain Bolt won an NHRA drag race championship today while holding a car frame on his body, Flintstones-style. "This was a little bit more of a challenge than the 100 and 200 is. The extra weight forced me to give 85 or 90-percent instead of my usual 70 percent," he said. "It felt good to be tested a little bit." Bolt hit 364.15 mph as he ran his crude vehicle across the finish line, crushing his fellow drivers. Second place finisher Dale Hawgood said he has nothing to be ashamed of. "Sometimes it's not skill. Sometimes it just comes down to who has the best equipment," he said. "And Bolt's car clearly had a better engine than my 7,000 hp ride." If he competes in a drag race again, Bolt says he will likely run with a car lighter than the Ford F-150 he hauled today.